We asked the Zikoko community to share their break up stories.
Zikoko twitter chat officially live! Tweet us your worst break up stories using the hashtags #zikoko #breakupstories pic.twitter.com/xZLs2WcKOQ
— Zikoko (@zikokomag) October 15, 2015
And share they did. Some of their stories were just so incredibly funny, some strange and some almost too incredible to believe.
1. The boy that was a distraction.
@zikokomag I once broke up with someone 5 minutes before our final high school exams ?? but I have changed!I promise!#breakupstories #zikoko — Dami Odufuwa (@dami_odufuwa) October 15, 2015
he was a bad boyfriend and I had an exam too and he was distracting me with his wahala! #booksbeforeboys #efiko ? https://t.co/xtNCgtt1Fa
— Dami Odufuwa (@dami_odufuwa) October 15, 2015
2. She changed her Facebook status.
She just changed her relationship status on Facebook to ‘Single’ and told me she thought I’d take the hint. https://t.co/eGl29hKCwU — Mark Aroni (@NerdEfiko) October 15, 2015
3. He was banned from seeing her.
She asked her gate man not to allow me into their house. https://t.co/WFHIX9Ub1e
— Nigerian Gatsby (@Ruud_bishop) October 15, 2015
4. She needed to focus on God.
Another one said “it is not you, it is me. I need space to really serve God.” ???? https://t.co/WFHIX9Ub1e — Nigerian Gatsby (@Ruud_bishop) October 15, 2015
She started serving God on another relationship though. I think it was less than a month later. ???????? — Nigerian Gatsby (@Ruud_bishop) October 15, 2015
5. He travelled for his studies.
@zikokomag all along you thought he travelled abroad to further his studies #breakupstories #zikoko — Mrs Surnamepending (@Surnamepending) October 15, 2015
6. Bellanaija at work.
BellaNaija steady helping girl dem to find out that Boo get Boo — N. M. Nwachukwu★ (@PUREHAIRE) October 15, 2015
7. Different religions don’t mix.
@zikokomag I am a Muslim, and you are Christian. It would not have been painful, but we had been together for? Just forget the years. — Kolawole Ogunfowokan (@kolawole_john) October 15, 2015
8. He was too nice.
One babe on my TL left her boyfriend for being too nice. #breakupstories — Nigerian Gatsby (@Ruud_bishop) October 15, 2015
9. She couldn’t keep up.
I told them I couldn’t keep up. Via #BBM #Whatsapp #Skype https://t.co/jSG1BPfLip — Eniola. (@Dxski_) October 15, 2015
@zikokomag with their lifestyles. Because I’m already tired of the chillationship, i look for an excuse to bail. — Eniola. (@Dxski_) October 15, 2015
10. The post-shag break up.
My boy that broke up with babe in the middle of post-shag cuddle nko? See ehn, let me skip this thing. It will lead to wahala. — Nigerian Gatsby (@Ruud_bishop) October 15, 2015
11. He was too sacrificial.
The chap changed uni, just to be closer to her. She said that was too much sacrifice for a relationship. She walked. End of story. — Nigerian Gatsby (@Ruud_bishop) October 15, 2015
12. She was too slim.
3 years into relationship, baba suddenly realised babe was too slim for his liking. No chance for her to even add flesh. ? — Nigerian Gatsby (@Ruud_bishop) October 15, 2015
13. Body count was too much.
He asked for body count and promised he wouldn’t get angry….. That was the last day I heard from him #breakupstories #zikoko — Mrs Surnamepending (@Surnamepending) October 15, 2015
14. Her mum did the breaking up.
Her mum called to say she was getting married. https://t.co/SUdFLW4Z5b — Kamal. (@FemiPhoenix) October 15, 2015
15. Multiple heart breaks.
@zikokomag Dem plenty na. Pick one, dumped at altar, handed wedding invite, faked disease…dem plenty — N. M. Nwachukwu★ (@PUREHAIRE) October 15, 2015
16. He was too sick of the relationship.
@buky @zikokomag Lol! Dude faked an illness so the girl will leave him alone. See, it was necessary. Girl was a stalker mehn — N. M. Nwachukwu★ (@PUREHAIRE) October 15, 2015
17. Bellanaija at work again.
@zikokomag scrolling through bellanaija and finding pre wedding photos of your man of 3 years and another lady #breakupstories #zikoko — Mrs Surnamepending (@Surnamepending) October 15, 2015
18. Different religions.
@zikokomag when you really couldn’t understand the I am a Muslim & you are Christian part, you hear, you didn’t call on my birthday. I Cried — Kolawole Ogunfowokan (@kolawole_john) October 15, 2015
19. Bad hair cut=break up.
I know a girl that legit left a guy cos he got a bad hair cut one time and looked different? #zikoko #breakupstories https://t.co/TLjjHUhXfw — Dove (@HeartOfGoId_) October 15, 2015
20. She would fit in that old tv show called ‘Cheaters Inc’.
Owerri breakup story. Guy found girl was cheating on BB Bold he bought for her so he stole it, sold it and bought his guys beer. — Nwa Ka Ibe Ya (@Dikachim) October 15, 2015
21. She liked another guys Instagram pictures. All of them.
My friend’s boyfriend broke up with her for liking all the pictures on another guy’s IG? #zikoko #breakupstories https://t.co/TLjjHUhXfw — Dove (@HeartOfGoId_) October 15, 2015
22. The fresh start.
@zikokomag A really persistent classmate in high school kept asking me to be his bf. I finally agreed a day before my family moved away… — Chioma Nkemdilim (@chiomankemdilim) October 15, 2015
23. First come, first serve.
We were both in 100 level. Caught her with a 400 level guy, she said “why didn’t you ask me first? He asked first.” https://t.co/617JJcLgL0 — Nwa Ka Ibe Ya (@Dikachim) October 15, 2015
24. He was part of her New Years resolution.
If nobody has ever broken up with you with the reason that you are not part of their new year resolution, go and have a seat. — michael (@hemical) October 15, 2015
25. The birthday break up.
@zikokomag Waited till my B-day. She said she did 3 things to hurt me n felt no remorse cos she has moved on, I should do so too. — Cumrade Abba NoMo` (@Kennedy_Reborn) October 15, 2015
26. She was too pretty.
@zikokomag the closest I heard was I am scared of falling in love with a mermaid…so many men are on your case? #dumbshit — Whitney (@SexyWeetney) October 15, 2015
27. She doesn’t have a BSc. degree.
@zikokomag a couple of weeks ago, someone here said her boyfriend broke up with her because she attended a Polytechnic ? @seyitaylor — Niyoola_ (@niyoola_) October 15, 2015
28. When he’s the side n**ga.
@zikokomag 300 L Uni. Nothing spells it out like you’re at ur girl’s @ night, some guy knocked & she tackles you down to keep mute fam. — Cumrade Abba NoMo` (@Kennedy_Reborn) October 15, 2015
29. Politely friendzoned.
#zikoko, I don’t want to lose you as a friend, that was when i knew that I’ve been friend zoned.??????? https://t.co/QgwujsGkjY — The List (@freshkid83) October 15, 2015
30. The indiscreet selfie.
@zikokomag my roomate girl left him cos he took a selfie nd her Ass was showing at the back — Aniemena (@ikennaesq) October 15, 2015
31. The oldest break up line in the book.
‘It’s not you, it’s me’, I need to get my life together.. 4 years later nothing has changed in said life ☺ https://t.co/JDixd4ejVo — Shereefah (@cheryldulhams) October 15, 2015
32. He ‘janded’.
My girl lives in ?? her bf lives in Lagos, she got him entry into the states for six months it was his first time going, #breakupstories — Mrs Surnamepending (@Surnamepending) October 15, 2015
No word of a lie when he landed, JFK airport was the first and last time she saw him. #breakupstories #zikoko #zikokochat — Mrs Surnamepending (@Surnamepending) October 15, 2015
33. And this guy said something a lot of Nigerian girls will agree with.
Somewhere, some Yoruba boys are busy absorbing @zikokomag #breakupstories excuses for their next targets. pic.twitter.com/6fktGx9iPf
— Oluwaseyi (@SirSheyi) October 15, 2015