1. Him, if you try to make the first move:

BYE!

2. What he actually means when he finally asks you out.

Get ready.

3. Essential reading when the relationship starts:

Have to be prepared.

4. When he already knows the drill.

Just get to the point, aunty.

5. When you’re waiting for him to come and romantically open the car door for you.

Be waiting.

6. How he looks at you try to eat out of his food when your own is in front of you.

Why, though?

7. His face, when you buy him singlet and boxers for the third Valentine’s day in a row.

I’m not crying.

8. When his friends suddenly start calling you “Iyawo wa”.

Be careful, the cheating has probably begun.

9. Whenever you accuse him of being unfaithful.

The master.

10. When you catch him but he still has a “logical explanation”.

11. When you offer to pay on a date and you’re waiting for him to stop you.

You played yourself.

12. His face, whenever you ask to see his phone.

Oh God!

13. How he looks at you when you ask him to help carry your handbag.

See this one.

14. His face, when you’re telling him about your day:

He is on autopilot at this point.

15. When you bring up marriage on your 5th year anniversary.

Take it easy, aunty.

16. You, when he is sick vs. Him, when you’re sick:

Carry your germs and be going.
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