If You Say Any of These Things Near a Man United Fan, They’ll Fight You

August 18, 2022

As an Arsenal fan, it brings me great pleasure to write banter against United fans. They’ve had too much mouth for too long and it’s time someone shut them up. So with great pleasure, please go forth and banter Man United fans by saying these things around them. 

Sir

This’ll simply trigger their daddy issues as they remember their former boss, Sir Alex Ferguson, and the glory he brought (or bought, *wink wink*). Since he left, it’s just been pain upon pain. 

Blue

This’ll do nothing but remind them that their city, which was once fully red, is now completely blue. Tears everywhere. 

Ten

This one’ll remind them about their current boss, Erik Ten Hag. Many of them hate him and want him out already. 

Win

Manchester United is scared of winning. Don’t say this word around them. 

Plastic

This feels like a personal attack on them. How can you use the word plastic? That word is only reserved for Man United fans. 

Maguire

Captain. Leader. Legend. Anything your eyes see after you mention this word, take it like that. 

Glaze

We won’t warn you not to say this one, but just walk up to a United fan and say, “I think the Glazers should stay.” Please give us feedback (If you’re still alive).

Also, don’t send them these tweets

And by this, I mean you should absolutely send them these tweets. 


This Quiz Knows the Football Club You Support

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