I don’t know if you’ve heard — probably because you’re still in the euphoria of the holiday weekend that just passed — but the next public holiday is in October, which means we’re back to the regular made-in-China weekends.
Here’s how you can make these short weekends longer:
Start your Saturday at 4 a.m.
This is what we call “beating the system”. Your day technically becomes longer, and you end up having a long weekend.
Announce a public holiday
Public holidays are all man-made, so what’s stopping you from announcing yours? Call it something like World Weekend Day, and get as many people as you can to jump on it. Simple.
Stay in denial
Again, no one laid it in stone that the weekend rest ends on Sunday. Just stay in denial and extend your weekend till the next Thursday. What’ll happen?
Call in sick on Monday
Don’t let your job stop you from enjoying a long weekend. Just call in sick on Monday and tell your boss you aren’t up to it. Problem solved.
Quit your job
In the immortal words of Beyoncé, quit your 9-5 and enjoy a lifetime of weekends. Don’t stay shackled to the chains of capitalism.
Become an entrepreneur
Think about it. You can decide to take the whole Monday off, and no one will query you. Possible side effects include forfeiting your weekends entirely and never having time for yourself.
Encourage your co-workers to go on strike
In the event that you still need your job, another fool-proof method is to go on strike. People are just waiting for reasons to be angry, so fan the flames by mentioning that only your CEO has a Macbook or the tissue paper is just 1ply, then watch your co-workers do the Lord’s work.
Throw away your calendars and clocks
Delete the apps from your phone as well. So, technically, you didn’t miss work because you wanted to, but because you didn’t know.
NEXT READ: The Lagos Guide to Weekending the Proper Way