Suddenly, cooking your own food will become annoying. I mean, why should it take you 30 minutes to cook food you’ll eat in five minutes when you can just order food and watch Netflix while you wait.
Using “Do you know who I am?” in arguments
Seriously, how can they not know who you are?
A bottle of Berry Blast after every meal
“Oversized drinks are the first sign of wealth.” – Lord Lugard, 2022
Your saved posts on Instagram start getting more attention. Not because you’re still window-shopping, but because you’re now considering which one to buy first.
You probably thought you were introverted, but here you are balling at 3 a.m., thinking about what you’ll do when this money finishes.
Taking Uber rides everywhere
You realise you’re made for the soft life, so you take Uber rides everywhere you need to go. You can’t come and die just to get to the other side of town. Even though you’ll still get caught up in traffic, at least you won’t be doing it while sweating in a bus.
Eating suya in the afternoon
It’s not your business that suya was made for darkness. That’s the story we tell the masses. You’re bougie now, so suya curfews aren’t for you anymore.
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