All the Things You Experience When You Go Clubbing in Lagos
October 23, 2015
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“The best way to start your day is by reading a productivity article” – Excerpt from one of the many how-to articles I have opened in my browser. It’s easy to feel bad for abandoning your work especially when you spent all day reading articles on how to get said work done. Summer child, feeling […]
When someone asks you to work for free.
You’re Nigerian. Cheating is in your blood. You might try to fight it but eventually, your true nature will prevail. To make it easier for you, we are offering you this nice guide to help you manage your diverse portfolio of partners. Shh. Don’t let your partner know. 1. Call all of them “Babe, Honey” […]
Have you ever called your ex and begged to get back together?
Remember the Nigerian boy who was seen doing ballet pirouettes barefoot and in the rain, in that viral video? Well, he’s been offered a scholarship by the prestigious American Ballet Theater. With the help of American actresses Viola Davis and Cynthia Erivo, the video garnered 15 million views, ultimately leading to Anthony Madu being offered […]
Immediately Ahmed Sani Yerima enacted Sharia Law as Governor of Zamfara State in 1999, most observers knew the law was always always going to be controversial. And it has turned out to be, on multiple occasions. Because how and why should a person be sentenced to death by hanging, for singing? In 2020. Ah… The […]
Whatever you do in this life, ensure that you never re-share any message containing any of these tags: 1) “Forwarded as received.” Why? 2) “Share with someone on your contact list.” Just try me and see. 3) “If you believe in [insert religious figure here], share this.” Get out of here with your 2011 tricks. […]
You know how Nigerians are generally homophobic; any small thing and they’ll recoil and say “Ah yew a gay?” First of all there’s nothing wrong with being gay. Second of all, there are some perfectly normal things homosexual and heterosexual men should be able to do without being labelled. If you do some of the […]
If your parents are sitting on this table, allow us tell your story. 1) “When will you marry?” Small play. 2) “God bless you.” How did God enter this topic? 3) “Have you eaten?” Please focuss. 4) “Go and read your books.” Na me fuck up. Last last. 5) “Make sure you don’t impregnate anyone.” […]
President Buhari signs into law the revised Companies and Allied Matters Act. Buruji Kashamu dies, Fuel Scarcity looms, amongst other significant new stories.
Remember to use a toothpick after you drink water
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