Two types of people exist in this world — the ones who leave and those who are left behind. If your close friend recently japa, then these emotional stages might sound familiar. 

Your friend says they have something to tell you 

Ah, what is going on? 

They tell you they’ll soon japa

Lanre, I thought we were all broke. Where did you see japa money? Ah.

You start to whine them 

Rich kid! 

But as the departure day draws closer, you start to experience other emotions 

You feel sad 

They’re leaving you, long-distance relationships don’t have a high success rate. And 10,000 kilometres seems like a lot of distance. 

What will happen to all the plans you made together 

So, no attending Asake concert together? Tears.

Then, the anger 

You’re angry at them for leaving. And at the fat-bellied, sticky-fingered, incompetent clowns running the country to the ground. If Nigeria worked, fewer people would leave. 

There’s also this pang of jealousy 

They’ve found an out. They can now join the group of people who are patriotic from abroad — the real “God, when?” 

And the worry that follows?

Maybe you’re not serious with your life because you don’t have any plans to japa. Heck, you haven’t even renewed your passport. 

You’re excited for them still 

You plan to make as many memories with them as possible before they leave. So you’re texting more, visiting the house, going to parties, taking pictures, all the good stuff. 

They promise it’s not goodbye, and nothing will change 

You say what? It’s a whole different country; something has already changed!

In the first couple of days, you talk frequently and for long hours

They arrived overseas, and the honeymoon era of your long-distance relationship begins. While they tell you how they have uninterrupted power supply, you tell them how the national grid has fallen once again. They seem to be settling in well though. 

But you quickly go back to focusing on the hustle 

With naira plummeting day after day, even food you’d have run to for comfort is becoming too expensive. You wonder if you came to this life to work, pay bills and die. 

Time goes by fast 

What started as two days has now become two weeks since you and your friend have spoken.

Then you reach out 

You’ve both missed each other, and it shows. 

More updates and gossip

Trying to fill two months’ worth of gist into three hours. 

After the call, you realise you’ll always be friends

Even though you have no idea when you’ll ever see them again. 


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.