9 Times Nigerian Kids Have Said Wild Things Unprovoked

September 16, 2020

Kids are very pure and sweet so whenever they switch up on us, it always comes off as shocking. From asking very grownup questions to calmly dropping death threats, here are 9 times Nigerian kids have said the wildest things, unprovoked. 

Jamal

I was teasing my little cousin when she suddenly threatened to kill me with a slap. It was a combination of cute and terrifying cause she was 2 years old. 

Ayo

A 4-year-old once walked up to me and asked: “Do you have a penis?” I wasn’t sure how to answer the question. 

Jerry

My 3-year-old goddaughter once asked “Why doesn’t the hair on your face come off? I want to remove it and put it back.” then she proceeded to try and pull off my beard. I had to tell her it was the source of my strength and taking it off would mean no more aeroplane rides for her so she could stop. 

Halima

I was combing my natural hair when my 4-year-old nephew calmly told me that my head would soon fall off. Funny enough, he wasn’t kidding. Now, the thing is, why did he calmly tell me something so scary?

Henry

 While making cutting motions on her clit with her fingers, a 5-year-old asked her mum in my presence what would happen if she cut her clit with a real knife. Her mum, my mom and I were all in the living room. We were all shocked.

David

My 3-year-old nephew once asked me to buy him a helicopter because he only saw them in the sky and they never said hi. I laughed it off but inner me was like “bro, wtf?”  

Zainab

A 3-year-old once asked me “aunty, will you be my new mommy.” Her reason? She said I don’t shout on her like her other mummy does. I was just 17 at the time. 

Tobi

During a family meeting, my 8-year-old cousin kept following me around, asking if I had fancy video games he could entertain himself with. When I said I didn’t have any, he looked me dead in the face and said, “Your life is boring sha. How do you even have the will to live?  He is 16 now and very unhappy, I hope. 

Vince

A 9-year-old once said, “it might be nice to just fall from a building and be gone.” That shook me to my core.

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