7 Reasons Why We Should Change Nigeria To UAR

June 3, 2021

A tax consultant submitted a proposal to the House of Reps committee to change the name of the country Nigeria to UAR. Honestly, we understand it. So, here are seven reasons why Nigeria should be changed to UAR.

1) Countries that have acronyms beginning with U are bad bitches

Most of the countries with acronyms starting with U are usually in control of some sort of world power. Look at USA and UAE. Emulating the good processes they went through to get their countries to be so powerful is stressful and will take time. So, just change the name and begin to manifest #11:11

2) At our old age, we are still bearing the name a white woman gave us

Nigeria is going to mark 61 years of independence in 2021, but we are still bearing the name a white woman gave us? O wrong nau. We need to really prove “we was Kings”, so a new name is in order.

3) A chance to boost creative spirit

With this new name, a lot of new slangs will need to be created. Naija can no longer exist, so maybe UARija. Either way, it will give Nigerians UARians a chance to come up with some new slang. That might keep us busy for another three to four years so we don’t notice how the country is not progressing.

4) We are a very united country

How else can we prove that we are a county founded on Unity without adding United to the country’s name. So what if we had a civil war and people are being kidnapped and ethnic cleansing is going on. If United is in the name of the country, then it has to be true.

5) UAR does not sound like Nigger Area

Now, when they start dragging UARians online, they can’t say our name sounds like Nigger Area. They can only use our lack of electricity and infrastructure as an insult.

6) We have tried everything to fix this country, a new name might help

Nigeria has tried everything possible to move forward. Instead, now we have one dollar going for about five hundred naira at the black market. Since our leaders cannot be bothered to do anything serious like actually do their jobs, maybe a new name will help. All debts are forgotten, old things have passed away and we have become new.

7) We are the African giant

How do we cement ourselves as the African giant? Is it through a thriving economy? A safe country for its citizens? A place that allows ease of trade? OF COURSE NOT!!! We call ourselves the United African Republic.

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Itohan Esekheigbe

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