So your family is throwing a party, or your friends invited you to one. As a young person, know that you’ll probably be the least important person at that event simply because you’re young. And you’ll relate to these awkward moments that make you ask yourself, “Why am I here?”
One piece of protein
The elders on your table will get food that has a piece of turkey, beef and fish, while your plate will have just one small chicken. God, abeg.
You might not even get served
Apart from the friend who invited you, no one really cares about your presence in that party. Now, God help you if that friend is too busy to check up on you. You’ll most likely return to your house hungry.
The unnecessarily rude caterers
At owambes, caterers are like mini gods. It doesn’t matter that it’s your family’s party and y’all are paying their bills. If you’ve not gotten an elder family member to give strict instructions that you must be obeyed, they’ll shut down every request you make with criminally offensive, bombastic side eyes.
No souvenirs
You’ll watch the aunties hand out electronic gadgets, towels, packs of Milo, spaghetti, semovita, detergent, all while acting like you’re Mr/Mrs Invisible. The considerate ones might give you matchboxes sha.
You’ll never get the good alcohol
The good stuff like cocktails, champagne and expensive wine never get to you. Even when they serve your table, the older guests will mark their territory.
Weird seating arrangements
If you’re not sent to the back, away from all the action, you’ll deal with older folks politely asking you to scoot over for their VVIP guests.
Going on errands
If the older folks aren’t turning you into their personal photographer, they’re asking you to help them grab a plate, call the caterer or “kindly go and buy me nylon bags” to hide their party spoils.
Learn a thing or two before your next owambe: How to Attend an Owambe and Eat Like a King
