6 Ways To Leave Nigeria Before It Ends You

February 8, 2021

Waking up every day as a Nigerian living in Nigeria is an excruciating experience, but thanks to the ever-kind people at Zikoko, we have come up with a few realistic ways you can get out of this country before this country finishes you.

1. Jazz

Yes, you heard us correctly. You may be afraid to contact the jazzmen in your village so your village people don’t ruin your plans, but thanks to technology, you can now find them on Instagram. Be ready to pay oh; we hear they don’t come cheap.

2. Dreaming

What better way to get to your dream country than actually dreaming about it every night. Stare at pictures of the Canadian flag, keep doing this till you get the desired effect.


3. Night Bus

In case you’re not a dreamer, the night bus is your next best bet. Take the bus going out of Nigeria, go to the nearest park and ask for whatever bus is leaving Nigeria. 

4. Legzus

All hopes have failed for you to fall into this category but we get it, leaving Nigeria is a must. Start your journey by 12 midnight, but before you start, please cover yourself in the blood of Jesus and ensure you use google maps to lead you through the best routes.

5. Aladdin’s Magic Carpet

Go to the nearest call center and tell them to link you to Aladdin.  Don’t tell them why you are calling him sha, so they don’t chance you. When you reach him, beg him to borrow you his carpet because your life depends on it. We hope he says yes.

6. Anoint Your Passport And Go To The Airport.

We have heard the testimonies, so we advise you try it out. Anoint the passport, when you get to the airport, tell them your pastor said they should let you in. Don’t worry, it will work.

We have told you all these now oo, last to leave Nigeria is a fool.

Avatar

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

August 5, 2021

When it comes to games night ideas you can play with friends, it is best to consider the people you’ll be inviting so you can choose games that each person will enjoy. Not every time truth or dare, or never have I ever. Here are 8 game night ideas you can play with your friends. […]

August 5, 2021

You need to pass a message with the hairstyle you wear on a first date. Just like your accessories, your hairstyle also speaks volumes. These hairstyle options are strictly for women who date men. 1. The Machine hairstyle I am not sure if it is a jet, or a bicycle or an aeroplane. The point […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

More from Inside Life

August 5, 2021

When it comes to games night ideas you can play with friends, it is best to consider the people you’ll be inviting so you can choose games that each person will enjoy. Not every time truth or dare, or never have I ever. Here are 8 game night ideas you can play with your friends. […]

August 4, 2021

If you are working a job you hate and you have thought of all the possible ways to resign from that job, we advise you to take some cues from these few Nigerians. These options might be a bit dramatic, but trust us, they work. Tony, 30 I used to work at this job where […]

Dating a creative
August 4, 2021

The regular dating pool is a mess and all the people in it are various levels of terrible. But that is nothing compared to the gutter that is dating creatives.  If you need a reason why you shouldn’t date a creative, here are 10. 1. They are either overdressed or underdressed  Or sometimes, a weird […]

August 3, 2021

You’re probably on the wrong side of Twitter NG if you’ve not seen any tweets from user, @deoors. Recently, I saw a couple of really nice tweets from him, so I decided to do a deep dive on his account and find some more bangers. You’ll smile (or chuckle a bit) throughout this post. 1. […]

August 3, 2021

The show has started and housemates are already giving their fans something to talk about. Here are five things you need to enjoy Big Brother Naija Season 6 wherever you are in Nigeria, other African countries, or the UK. 1. Cool Friends You may need to change your friends if they yab you for loving […]

August 3, 2021

There are very few things that make adults happy. The word ‘adult’ here is used loosely because some of you are 18 and you only barely qualify as adults. Truth is, the older you get, the more simple things make you happy.  1. Finding the perfect grocery store Not everyone can say that they have […]

August 2, 2021

July was a very eventful month. So much happened— Euros, BBNaija, Obi Cubana’s mother’s burial. Because Nigerians have coconut heads, they still managed to tweet these bangers even with the Twitter ban. You’ll laugh at these tweets. 1. I can’t think about this tweet and not burst into laughter. 2. Titilola is arriving in 5 […]

August 1, 2021

Ghosting can be weird – whether you’re the one being ghosted or doing the ghosting. When this happens, you’re likely to go through phases of worry, confusion, self-doubt, anger and finally make-everybody-getat. Wondering why exactly you’re being ghosted? Especially from people you really want to be in communication with? Here are 8 possible reasons. 1. […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X