Are you a Nigerian human who needs help spicing things up in the bedroom/keeping it up/keeping it moist? If your answer was yes, then you’re in luck. Lemme introduce you to Sexual Roleplay.
For those who don’t know what this is, Wikipedia has got you covered:
Now that we’re all caught up, let’s get into the real reason we’re here today.
You’ve probably googled different role-play scenarios to try and I’m sure they all seem very…white. Yes, Maths teacher and sexy schoolgirl and Nazi soldier and Jewish prisoner at Auschwitz have the potential to be sexy. But you know what’ll make it really titillating?
Injecting Nigerianess into it. That’s what I’m here to help you with. Here are a couple of very Nigerian role-play scenarios.
1) Underpaid Male Library Attendant And Female 400 Level Student Willing To Do Anything To Break Into The Lagos Literary Scene.
All you’ll need for this are a couple of piercings for both characters, tie & dye shirts and shorts, tote bags made out of jute, and an afro wig for the girl.
2) Guy looking to do his Masters in Canada and elderly woman who works in his old university’s admin building and is in charge of replying to the guy’s Canadian school of choice with proof (transcript) that he really did attend the university.
All you’ll need for this is a clear file bag full of documents.
3) Guy with dreads returning home from the club on a Friday night and police officer that has stopped him (because of the dreads) and has refused to let him go, even though he has done nothing wrong.
All you’ll need is a police uniform and a dread wig.
4) Elderly woman in charge of voter registration (about two weeks to election time) and young man who’s really only registering because he needs a valid ID card and the National Identity Card people screwed him over.
All you’ll need for this are a shitty laptop, a shitty webcam, and a thumbprint scanner.
5) Lazy as hell male level advisor and female university student who just wants to submit her documents and complete registration before Matric day.
All you’ll need for this is an old office desk covered with tattered files and a Pentium M laptop.
6) Famous Lagos big girl who has eaten more than she can afford at wildly overpriced restaurant and male manager of wildly overpriced restaurant who’s insisting that she must pay, one way or the other.
All you need for this is a tiny dining table.
The key to this is specificity. Now that you know this, go forth and create your own!
I’m rooting for you!