1) When you’re on a bus and someone taps you to ask a question so you start screaming.
GET BEHIND ME SATAN! IT IS NOT ME YOU WILL JAZZ!!
2) When you’re travelling and the car breaks down but you believe they’ve taken you to a kidnapper’s den to be slaughtered.
SAVE ME, JESUS!
3) When you’re walking at night and you see a black cat so you freak out.
Bad luck is not my portion!
4) When you’re walking through Oshodi and someone randomly hits you so you check to see if your penis is still in place.
MY PENIS IS MINE AND MINE ALONE!!
5) When an old woman with arthritis begs you to help her cross the road but you start running because you’re sure your evil grandmother from the village has come to destroy your destiny.
I see through your disguise, granny!
6) When your suspicious-looking neighbour shakes your hand while greeting you so you immediately go home and soak that hand in anointing oil.
Oil of Christ, wash me clean!