6 Ordinary Moments That Seem Super Suspicious To Nigerians

July 22, 2020

1) When you’re on a bus and someone taps you to ask a question so you start screaming.

GET BEHIND ME SATAN! IT IS NOT ME YOU WILL JAZZ!!

2) When you’re travelling and the car breaks down but you believe they’ve taken you to a kidnapper’s den to be slaughtered.

SAVE ME, JESUS!

3) When you’re walking at night and you see a black cat so you freak out.

Bad luck is not my portion!

4) When you’re walking through Oshodi and someone randomly hits you so you check to see if your penis is still in place.

MY PENIS IS MINE AND MINE ALONE!!

5) When an old woman with arthritis begs you to help her cross the road but you start running because you’re sure your evil grandmother from the village has come to destroy your destiny.

I see through your disguise, granny!

6) When your suspicious-looking neighbour shakes your hand while greeting you so you immediately go home and soak that hand in anointing oil.

Oil of Christ, wash me clean!

You'll like this

May 4, 2020

If we’re keeping it a buck, if you’re not an absolutely essential worker providing an absolutely essential service, you have absolutely no business being at work on May the 4th, especially with the climbing virus numbers. And yet, much as we all know this is the truth, you’re at work, doing a little Monday morning […]

How was your night
March 9, 2020

For the life of me, I have never understood why people ask ‘how was your night’. What response do these special people expect when they ask this? Do they think I’ll sit them down and explain that my eye is twitching because I spent all night binge-watching Assistant Madams and writing a thesis as to […]

Astor George

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

Watch

Now on Zikoko

August 10, 2020

Nigerian women have a lot to get off of their chest in regards to Nigerian men. Last week, it was about problems with dating Nigerian men. Now, here are 10 things Nigerian women want Nigerian men to know. Sade Porn is not real life. For goodness sake, I will not be doing snake in the […]

August 10, 2020

You know how Nigerians are generally homophobic; any small thing and they’ll recoil and say “Ah yew a gay?”  First of all there’s nothing wrong with being gay. Second of all, there are some perfectly normal things homosexual and heterosexual men should be able to do without being labelled. If you do some of the […]

August 10, 2020

After reading this, make sure you share with any young person you care deeply about. Here you go: 1) You’ll have energy to work forever. Alexa, play Young Forever by Jay-z. 2) The world is ending because of Miss Rona. Enjoy your life, young king and queen. 3) The Naira is getting stronger. Thank God […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: Only People With Nigerian […]

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

More from Inside Life

August 10, 2020

You know how Nigerians are generally homophobic; any small thing and they’ll recoil and say “Ah yew a gay?”  First of all there’s nothing wrong with being gay. Second of all, there are some perfectly normal things homosexual and heterosexual men should be able to do without being labelled. If you do some of the […]

August 8, 2020

We like to think our bodies are our own. Like we own and control them. But you see this body you call your own, it chooses to disgrace, embarrass and betray you, occasionally at the worst of times. Read on to see the  6 terrible ways your body can betray you so you can cast […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
September 24, 2019
A group of Zikoko staff go on a road trip to every mainland country in ECOWAS West Africa

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X