Regardless of what your Nigerian parents have said to you, we are here to let you know that you made the right choice by choosing to be the family disappointment.
Here are some advantages of the role:
1. No one asks you for money
Who wants to ask the disappointment for money and end up looking like an even bigger disappointment? No one. They also assume you never even have money, meaning you never have to share with broke family members.
2. You aren’t sent on silly errands
You have disappointed them so much in the past, so they expect you to disappoint them again. No one wants to go through the stress of fixing your errors, so they always send someone else or just do it themselves. So, you can continue watching Netflix.
3. You have all the time in the world to yourself
No one is ever in your business, since they have all given up on you. That allows you to spend your days doing whatever you like. If no one’s nose is in your business, your shit is free to smell.
4. Your parents make a big deal of your small achievements
Any minor positive thing you do will be a big deal to your parents. You only carried over 4 courses instead of your usual 6? Congrats. They are throwing you a party. When the bar they set for you is in hell, it doesn’t take much to impress them.
5. You can pursue your dream job
When your siblings are pursuing boring and generic jobs, you can pursue your dream of being a drug dealer, amateur DJ or cultural dancer. They will just be happy to see you doing something with your life.
6. No one complains about what you do
Since no one longer cares about what you do with your life, you don’t have to explain your choices to them. They will sigh and grumble, but that’s the most reaction you will get out of them. So, go forth and scatter everything.