5 Simple Words That Have Lost Their Innocence

June 20, 2019

As a human with a filthy mind, there’s nothing I enjoy more than when people say innocent words/phrases and I’m suddenly overcome by a violent case of the giggles because I have different meanings for said words/phrases in my head.

I never tell them why I’m laughing like a maniac. I usually just say I remembered some random funny thing, which I guess could be construed as rude (because it means you weren’t paying attention to what they were saying). But if it means keeping the fun going for as long as possible, I don’t mind.

Here’s a list of some of those words:

You never truly understand the awkwardness of this word until your mum calls for you and after responding with, “I’m coming!” you remember every porn climax you’ve ever seen and cringe in disgust.

The first time I saw this used as “cum” was in 2009, so I thought it was a fairly recent thing. So imagine the shock I felt when I found out that the slang itself has been a thing since the 1600s! It turns out 17th century people were freakier than I thought and I’m super impressed.

I’m dying because this word didn’t always mean what crossed your mind after reading it just now. But the new meaning has gotten so entrenched in our collective consciousness that the first response on Google is a Cosmopolitan article on how to get a girl to do it.

I hate humanity.

The alternate meaning for word kinda makes the entire Ice Age movies seem weird because of that one character that spends the entire franchise chasing a nut…

This is a conversation I overheard the other day between two co-workers trying to decide what to get for lunch.

Co-worker 1: “Are you buying rice again today?

Co-worker 2: “Nah. I really feeling swallowing today.

Me (in the corner of the room): *dies*

I’ll never forget when I asked a friend of mine for the head of his charger and he ran out of the room because he heard wrong and thought I asked him for head.

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