1. Whenever you remember our politicians are literally the worst.
No seriously, will you die if you fix the roads?
2. When everything, somehow, someway always boils down to tribe and religion.
One would think that 55 years after independence we would get along better, but no, we’re still squabbling like it’s 1960.
3. When you think about the internet struggle.
One minute you’re watching that video that everyone on Twitter is talking about, next minute all your airtime is gone.
4. When you remember our outrageously expensive National Assembly.
Why are they so many? Why do they cost us so much? Why do they receive so many allowances? What do they actually do to earn all that money?
5. When you can’t even remember a Nigeria without generator noise.
Those things are so noisy! How is everyone in Nigeria not mad and deaf yet?
6. When you have to suffer the fake, ear-bleeding accents of our radio and TV personalities.
Yeah, we get it. You’re an ‘ajebutter’, you’re posh and all of that, but please can you stop?
7. Whenever you remember the value of the naira.
1 Dollar = N199.25; 1 Pound = N305.45; 1 Euro = N220.11. #dasall
8. When it feels like all Government agencies are in some grand conspiracy to frustrate us.
NYSC registration? Getting a new passport? Renewing your driver’s license? Prepare to be frustrated. Do I really need to give you my name, age, address and colour of my underwear again?
9. When no one you know seems to mind their business.
How does it really concern you that he doesn’t have a wife yet? Or that your neighbour’s daughter has pink hair? Or that I did not go to church?
10. When you realize that you are your own government.
You provide everything for yourself, electricity, water, healthcare, education, security and even roads. Explain to me why we have a government again?
11. When you have to travel by air.
You’ve either been a victim of Nigerian air travel or you know someone who has. If your flight isn’t taking off 7hours late, you’re in Calabar and your luggage is in Yola.
12. Whenever you have to enter public transport.
The whole thing is just a nightmare.
13. When you have to deal with a police officer.
Am I the only one afraid of the police? There are good ones dedicated to their jobs, sure, but the rest…#nocomment.
14. When you don’t get why Landlords ask for 2 years rent upfront.
…and that’s minus the host of other fees.
15. When it dawns on you that you live in constant fear of one chance and armed robbers.
Do I really need to elaborate on this?
Let’s face it, being Nigerian is hard and stressful and some days you wish you could relocate to some remote island and forget about everything…
But the truth of the matter is that, Nigeria is home and even though we have so many problems, these problems make us stronger and give us insane survival skills…
And besides, can you imagine life without party jollof and small chops?
Written by Zikoko Contributor @IdomaGirl.
