11 Things You’ll Get If You Filled A Slum Book In Secondary School

May 19, 2020

If you went to a secondary school in Nigeria, then you probably know what a slum book is. Filled with mostly banal questions and a few nosy ones, it was the ultimate way to fish out your crushes and confirm who you real friends were.

1. When your friend doesn’t give you their slum book to fill.

Jesus, is this what it feels like to be betrayed?

2. When no one writes your name amongst finest in class.

So, I am ugly?

3. When someone’s slum book has too many questions.

Abeg, we’ve already done exam.

4. When you find out you’re not your best friend’s best friend.

So, the last few years have been a lie?

5. Girls designing their slum book page like:

Oshey artist.

6. When a teacher gets their hands on a slum book.

Hay God.

7. You, checking to see if your crush likes you too:

God, do it for your child.

8. When your crush writes “nil” instead of their phone number.

What are you forming?

9. When someone you don’t rate gives you their slum book to fill.

Who be this one?

10. “Books before boys because boys bring babies.”

Every girl wrote this.

11. You, trying to think of the perfect phrase to sign out with:

Still landing on “Cool. calm and collected.”

You'll like this

NerdEfiko

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

Watch

Now on Zikoko

May 28, 2020

When you are a shopaholic shopping is not just an activity, it’s an Olympic sport and you win every time you buy something distinct and in limited. It’s a beautiful addiction that keeps your wardrobe spilling over, your drip eternally fresh, and your bank account always almost empty. 1. You any time you see SALES. […]

Southern Kaduna massacre fulani herdsmen
May 28, 2020

If you’ve spent any time looking through the Nigerian social media space over the past few days, you may have noticed chatter about a possible massacre currently happening in Southern Kaduna. On May 26th, Sahara Reporters revealed how a 12-year-old-boy fought off suspected herdsmen attackers in a village in Southern Kaduna. According to the report, […]

john boyega racist tweet george floyd
May 28, 2020

So far, every month in 2020 has given us its version of an uppercut to the jugular. We’ve lost Kobe and Gigi, a global pandemic broke out, we’ve had to stay isolated, murder hornets came back (then left?) and for May’s champion – repeated vile and racist attacks against black people in the US. John […]

Recommended Quizzes

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already.

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out:

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

November 25, 2019

Last week, we guessed how many people you’d slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

More from Inside Life

Southern Kaduna massacre fulani herdsmen
May 28, 2020

If you’ve spent any time looking through the Nigerian social media space over the past few days, you may have noticed chatter about a possible massacre currently happening in Southern Kaduna. On May 26th, Sahara Reporters revealed how a 12-year-old-boy fought off suspected herdsmen attackers in a village in Southern Kaduna. According to the report, […]

john boyega racist tweet george floyd
May 28, 2020

So far, every month in 2020 has given us its version of an uppercut to the jugular. We’ve lost Kobe and Gigi, a global pandemic broke out, we’ve had to stay isolated, murder hornets came back (then left?) and for May’s champion – repeated vile and racist attacks against black people in the US. John […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
September 24, 2019
A group of Zikoko staff go on a road trip to every mainland country in ECOWAS West Africa
May 5, 2020
For the second season, we put an even more diverse motley crew of young Nigerians in front of a camera and asked them random questions about love, school experiences and more.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.