You’ve spent so many years loving him, raising his kids and holding it down as the ultimate wife, but guess what? His will might list his cousin or brother from the village as next of kin instead of you!
In a fireside Twitter space with Zikoko titled “Love me, Leave me Out of Your Will? Let’s Talk About Legacy”, moderated by Tobiloba Ajibola, expert speakers and legal gurus, Adesuwa Ugboaje and Titilola Olatunde-Fasogbon explained in detail why Nigerian women are often sidelined in inheritance matters and how you can secure your bag.
Spoiler Alert: It’s all about that patriarchal culture and some serious misconceptions.
Titilola Olatunde-Fasogbon, senior associate at Udo Udoma & Belo-Osagie, explained that many men are influenced by customary practices, which makes them see their wives as ‘outsiders’ married into the family. The idea is that since their brothers carry the family name, they get the property. This is why the love of your life may list his sibling as next of kin instead of you, even after years of building a life together.
Adesuwa Ugboaja, the founder of Naija Family Law, added that cultural norms like some Igbo customs historically treated women as ‘items of ownership’ due to the bride price mentality. So even though the Supreme Court ruled in 2014 (Ukeje v Ukeje) that excluding women from inheritance is unconstitutional, many still cling to these outdated beliefs.
Our speakers stressed the fact that being next of kin doesn’t even mean what most people think it does. They clarified that naming someone as next of kin is just for emergencies, like if the bank needs to reach someone when your man is unavailable. It doesn’t automatically mean that you’ll inherit his money or property. That’s decided by the law of probate and estate administration.
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So when your man’s brother is listed as the next of kin instead of you, it’s not just a snub; it’s a misunderstanding of how inheritance works. Titilola added that some men don’t even update their next-of-kin records after marriage. Imagine your husband still having his secondary school bestie as next of kin because he ‘forgot’ to change it. Nawa o.
Titilola emphasised that financial security in marriage means being a partner, not a dependant. But when men exclude women from wills or next-of-kin roles, even, it sends a clear message that you’re not part of the legacy. Adesuwa pointed out that ignorance is a big issue because many women don’t know that they can contest wills, access affordable legal services or use citizen mediation centres.
Without awareness, women resign to their fates instead of fighting for their rights. Ask the love of your life awkward money questions before you say “I do”. Ask them, “Babe, am I your next of kin? What’s in your will?” Push for updated records. Adesuwa suggested that banks should send reminders to check details.
Most importantly, know your rights. You’re not just his ‘baby girl’, you’re his partner. Don’t let timidity, culture or outdated forms rob you of your legacy. Love is sweet o, but when money enters, love is sweeter. Be smart.
Join another one of our fireside Twitter spaces today by 7 pm @Zikokomag. We’ll be discussing the topic “Is financial security shaping your relationship choices?”
Our speakers will shed light on how societal pressures and individual aspirations around money influence who we choose to be with and how those relationships evolve.
Set a reminder here and don’t miss it!
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