Why Foreplay With Nigerian Men Can End In Premium Tears

November 3, 2020

Someone tried to make a list of foreplay options you could try with men.  *Laughs in Nigerian men* Here are valid reasons why you should never try these options with a Nigerian man. 

1. Neck kisses

Do you enjoy the taste of car batteries? Yes? Then go for it.

2. Body kisses

Nigerian men that have the accumulated sweat of our heroes past. Dear, save yourself.

3. Ice cubes

Why? So their balls can shrink and look like a Sphynx cat?

4. Ear kisses and tonguing

you will try this and end up with thick ear wax at the tip of your tongue or the after taste of agbo at the back of your throat. 

5. Ass eating

Do I even need to say anything? These men do not even wash their balls because they think iT’s gAy. Do you know how filthy their ass is?

6. Ass play

Try to touch a Nigerian man’s ass and watch his butt clench with the force of Thor. Nigerian men protect their ass like it’s the holy grail. Ordinary pegging article we wrote, they almost rioted.

7. Blow jobs

Dear Nigerian men, when our eyes water from giving you a blow job, it usually because of the stench of your balls. The tears are a cry for help.

8. Nuru Massage

Why do you want an erotic massage? So you can cum 5 minutes in and blame it on how hot we are. Thinking a Nigerian man can last a Nuru massage is a stretch.

9. Toe sucking

My dear, do you enjoy the taste of Mushin and danfo buses? With their Israelite feet that trek everywhere. 

10. Dirty talk

Thing with this is you don’t know which one they will take as an insult. 

11. Choke

Watch a Nigerian man brush his teeth and see how he handles his toothbrush choking him and then make your decision from the results. But do you really want to find out? 

12. Spit

Ahhh. You’ll kiss a Nigerian man and exchange all the saliva in the world but make it a deliberate act and try to spit in their mouth and see how your relationship ends.

The Lord did not die that affiliation might arise again. Save yourself and your freaky nature. Don’t waste it on Nigerian men. 

Subscribe to our HER newsletter because you love Zikoko. 

Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

March 5, 2019

‘The first Nigerian woman to … ‘ is a phrase we’ll never tire of hearing. And we still expect to hear for years to come, as women continue to smash glasses and break through gender barriers. With International Women’s Day comes around the corner, here’s to the Nigerian women who blazed and continue to blaze […]

December 17, 2021

“At that moment, I knew I couldn’t lie to her. I said yes but my voice was low. I told her I didn’t like men.”

In this article, Somto* talks about the issues she had with her mum as a child for being masculine presenting and coming out to her as an adult.

Read here:

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

More from Her

May 11, 2022

Today’s subject on #Zikokowhatshesaid is @fehinlean, a 30-year-old Nigerian woman. She talks about her childhood love for motorcycles, why she waited until she was 28 to ride one and handling the stares when people realise she isn’t a man, on her biking trips across the country.

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X