What Happens When You Get A Pregnancy Scare

April 14, 2019

If you’ve ever found yourself sitting over a toilet, holding a pregnancy test you just peed on and waiting for the results to come in, then we can bet either one of these two things were running through your head.

1. I really hope I’m pregnant, I and the love of my life have been trying for a minute now. And we can’t wait to start our beautiful family.

Or

2. Father, Lord, God I promise you if I’m not pregnant I’ll never fornicate again. Ok, I might but I’m going to always use condoms, get on the pill, get a diaphragm and get an IUD. What the fuck am I going to do if my pregnant?

I spoke to a woman who neither had a beautiful partner ready to start a family with her nor was prepared for a baby, on the moments leading up to and the moments after her pregnancy scare.

First came the ‘symptoms.’

I think I got my first period at 14 (yes I was a late bloomer). And it always came like clockwork. Like my life is pretty anyhow but if there was one constant it was that my period will come every 25th day and last for exactly 5 days and this didn’t change after I became sexually active. So the first time my period was late I had a full blown panic attack. 5 days after the period was supposed to start, no show. I put off taking the test for two whole weeks willing the stupid period to appear. In those two weeks my breasts felt tender, I felt like I was peeing a lot and getting tired easily, According to almighty google, these were early pregnancy symptoms.

I think I spent more time thinking about how the fuck I’ll tell my parents than thinking about what I’d do if I were actually pregnant. And all scenarios ended up with me either being disowned or my father dragging my fornication partner down an aisle by his ears to marry me by force.

Then the home test.

First of all buying the test was so hard and humiliating. I live in Gbagada with my parents and maybe I was being paranoid but I went all the way to Yaba to buy the test. I also waited until I was home alone to use it which was I think two days after I bought it. My mum is a snoop so I really carried the thing with me throughout. As I was peeing on the stick I just kept trying to reassure myself that there was no way I could be pregnant. I sha didn’t have morning sickness and according to the bible of Nollywood, morning sickness is the main sign that you are pregnant. The test was one of those ones where one line indicates you aren’t pregnant and two does. After waiting 5 minutes I got two lines.

The fallout.

When I was gisting my friends after the whole thing, they always think I’m exaggerating about this part. But I actually just sat on that toilet not moving for about two hours, after I saw the test was positive. Like two whole hours. I also remember feeling very cold. I don’t remember crying at least that day. I was just in shock. When I finally got up, I went to my room, laid down and slept. Then I woke up and went to look at the stupid test again as if it will change colour, that’s when I started to panic. I’ve read about panic attacks and seen it in movies but never actually had one. What I went through that day a panic attack is the only way to describe it. It felt like I litreally couldn’t breathe.

What do you do when you get a positive pregnancy test?

I called my friend Olaide*. She’s pretty much like my best friend and she talked to me for hours just trying to calm me down. We went through all the possible scenarios together including how I was going to tell my parents. My plan was to go and throw myself at their feet weeping hysterically and begging their forgiveness. I’m the type of person who likes to rip a bandaid off quickly so I wanted to do it that night and get it over with. The way my chest was tight I didn’t think I could last through the night. Plus I’m even a bad liar, they could ask me how are you in the morning and I’ll just start crying that I’m pregnant o. I’ll have even gone the immaculate conception route, but my mum is a devout Catholic and she’ll have slapped the shit out of me for pulling that kind of stunt. It was Olaide God bless her heart who told me not to be stupid and to, first of all, take another pregnancy test and a blood test before I used my own mouth to ruin my life.

Did you tell the person you had sex with?

No, I never did. Till today he doesn’t even know about the whole incident. It wasn’t someone I was dating dating. We were just using each other for weather for two occasionally. Lol, I remember thinking at some point that day that I’d rather die than have Femi’s* child. It’s not even as if he’s a bad person I just remember thinking that. And after the whole ordeal, I never slept with him again. Stopped picking calls or replying text. I just ghosted. Kids please never sleep with someone whose kids you could never have.

The follow-up tests.

The next day I told my parents I’d be sleeping over at Olaide’s after work. It was a Monday I remember and we both called in sick. She has pregnancy tests at home because she’s grown up and responsible like that. You know how I didn’t cry when I took the tests for some reason, I did once I saw Olaide and she hugged me. I think it was the look of worry on her face that had reality sink in. She sat in the bathroom with me as I peed on the sticks and tried to take my mind off it. I took two more tests. They were both negative.

Olaide asked if I was sure the first one was positive and I brought it out of my wallet and showed her. So we went to get the blood tests. I didn’t make any doctors appointment or anything. I just walked into this place – Tabade in Yaba. You can just walk in there and pay for any test you want to do. I think the pregnancy one is 2k. Or was 2k that year sha (2016). The lady I paid to for the test looked at me like she sees a hundred of my kind every day. And I wondered just how many people come in for this thing every day. She also didn’t even look sorry for me at all. My eyes were very red and swollen and I was breathing like someone that ran marathon race.

They took my blood and told me I could either sit and wait for the test or come back later. Omo I waited that wait o. It took a couple of hours and I had almost forgotten what I came for until someone came back with my test result. I was literally physically trembling. I thought that thing only happened in the films. Olaide had to open the result for me. It was negative. I just kept asking the person please are you sure. Should I do it again. Don’t let me go home and see surprise baby bump in 4 months. When it finally sunk in that I want pregnant I don’t think anyone can imagine my joy. You’ll think I won green card. I cried again but just out of relief. I love children with all my heart but pregnant at 22 isn’t just how I saw my life ever going.

And your period?

It didn’t come at all that month, then came twice the next month. At that point in my life, I had never used any kind of hormonal birth control so I still don’t know why it happened. I must have run through a dozen pregnancy tests after doing the blood test sha. Because I still wasn’t seeing the period and I had to be sure. I read somewhere that tests are 99% accurate getting one of the 1 percents wasn’t a fun experience at all.

Lessons learned?

See, if I tell you that I learned one thing I’d be lying. I can think of a ton more reckless sexual encounters I’ve had since then. I did get an IUD inserted early this year. But it was mostly because I got into a committed relationship.

*names have been changed.




Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

September 2, 2021

If you are dating a woman and you do any of the following things, you are a walking red flag.  1. When he doesn’t buy you food when you say you’ve not eaten  Do we need to tell you first? Which brings us to the next point.  2. Not knowing what we want before we […]

March 22, 2021

What actually makes something expensive? These eleven Nigerian women share the most expensive thing they own. Bimpe, 26 I had a job that paid a lot, and so I used the money to buy some land that cost about 1 million naira. Now, I heard land around that area costs about 1.5 to 2 million […]

June 4, 2021

Count your lingerie wearing days over, because the rise of the wrapper is here. Here are five reasons why wrapper is better than lingerie. 1) It is easier to remove Wrappers are called free to wear for a reason. No hindrance, no obstruction. Just one tug and everything comes off. Lingerie on the other hand […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

December 5, 2022

After two months of back and forth, we’re pleased to announce the presidential candidate of the Labour Party (LP), Peter Obi, has finally released his manifesto! The manifesto has attracted mixed reactions from fans and haters alike since Obi announced the 72-page document on December 4, 2022. But, what exactly is the content of this […]

Recommended Quizzes

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

More from Her

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X