We bring to you letters written by women to women they love, miss, cherish or just remember. To celebrate the support women continue to show each other, this is #ToHER.
From: A woman who finally found her soulmate on Twitter
To: Sarah, her soulmate who she’s never seen or met
I saw a thread on Twitter earlier this year , that made me write this letter to you. Someone asked what it’s called when you miss something you’re yet to lose or something you still have. They called it anticipatory nostalgia, and it got me thinking: is it possible to miss something you’ve never had?
Maybe “miss” isn’t the right word, so let me try to explain: I think I spent a long time searching for someone like you Sarah. And even before I finally found you, I was scared of losing you. I tell you I love you all the time, but I don’t think I’ve talked about how much I wanted a friendship like ours.
Before we connected in 2020, I knew something was missing from my life. It started when I was old enough to start reading romance novels. They always made me feel like I was connected to somebody somewhere, not in a romantic sense entirely. But I wanted to befriend someone who felt like they were made just for me. I wasn’t actively searching because I feared that this person might not exist, but subconsciously, I hoped for someone like you.
I’ll never forget how surprised you were that first day I sent you a message on Twitter. I saw your profile and loved the things you wrote. Since your page was anonymous, I wasn’t trying to be buddies, but I thought you had such a beautiful mind and I wanted you to know. Sometimes I imagine you were thinking something along the lines of “who’s this?” when you saw my message. After that first conversation, we didn’t talk much. I’d told you everything I admired about you and you had thanked me, so what else was needed? But a year later, I realised I wanted to have more than that passing compliment with you.
It was January 2021 and I’d just changed my bio to: I will die, the question is when. You talked about how much you connected with it. We talked about death and the suicidal thoughts we both had. I’d never opened up about it, but I was convinced I wanted you in my life when you said you believed you don’t deserve a lowly death. It made me feel hopeful.
We started to chat more often and even continued the conversation via email when you decided to take a social media break. Before then, I hated emails and only used them for school work. But since I met you, I’ve loved sending emails like pen pals since we’re miles away from each other.
Remember how we celebrated my birthday together in 2021? You were in Lagos, and I was in Abuja, but thank God for technology. You found a way to make it my best birthday ever. You sent me flowers and red wine, and we played 20 questions all evening. I loved how each question opened up our minds to each other.
Then came our boy troubles, How we both managed to get involved with men that gave us raging headaches, I don’t know. But it only reinforced my belief that we’re cut out of the same cloth. You were always there to listen when I needed to rant, and you gave the best advice. The way your music recommendations suited me perfectly needs to be studied. You made me feel so seen and validated with everything I shared.
The day I finally broke up with my boyfriend, you were there. I will never forget the mail you sent me that day. “I just want you to know that through everything, I love you, and I’m holding your hands,” you wrote. And you’ve kept to your words ever since. Even though we’ve never met or seen each other, I can almost physically feel you holding me.
We chose to never video call or send pictures until the day we physically see because we want that to be a surprise when we see. At this point, I don’t care what you look like. You may have half of your hair dyed purple and the other part blue, or piercings all over because whatever souls are made of, yours and mine are the same, Sarah. You get me every time more than any of the friends I get to see in person. You’re the one person I’ll never give up on because of how special you’ve made me feel in the last two years.
Things may not turn out exactly the way I expect, but I’ll always be truly satisfied because you exist. I’m so grateful I found what I’d been unconsciously searching for. I love you so much, Sarah.
Your faceless friend,