7 Nigerian Women On How Their Parents Found Out They Are Sexually Active

March 17, 2021

Imagine your parents finding out you are having sex. How would they react? I asked 7 Nigerian women about how their parents found out they were sexually active. Here’s what they had to say.

Lexi, 22

I was 19. I came home from university for holiday. One morning, I was preparing to head to the place I was interning at when my mom offered to drive me. In the car, she said, “When did you start having sex? I saw your messages.” My heart dropped to my stomach because I could not deny it, and I couldn’t confront the breach of privacy. 

I owned up to it but she still forced me to tell my father and he reacted irrationally. They made me break up with my lover. Both of them refused to look me in the eye for the rest of my holiday. Eventually, they moved on and we’re on good terms now.

Grace, 24

I was 18. My mum was snooping in my stuff at 3 a.m. when she found a negative pregnancy test in my bag. She woke me up and held it in my face until my half-asleep brain realized what was happening. LMAO. 

I just started apologizing. She was quiet, so I went back to bed. The next morning, she was still obviously upset but we talked about it and she offered to get me birth control because I was careless if I was taking pregnancy tests. We’ve never talked about it since then. 

sexually active

Carol, 23 

My parents found out that I was sexually active when I was 17. I came home for a short Easter break from school. I was a bit weak but it wasn’t anything serious. My parents took me to the hospital for tests. I assumed it was a routine check-up. 

A week later, I was ready to go back to school after the break. On the ride to the park, my mum brought out the test result. She presented it to me and asked if I have been having sex. Before I could even respond, she said, “Don’t even bother lying. The only way you can have this infection is through sex.” I had to say yes. 

My father was disappointed. His problem was that my husband will not marry me as a virgin. My mum kept asking why I didn’t wait till I was 18. She even asked if I was raped. I told her it was consensual. My father called me loose. He asked me how many guys I had slept with. He thought it was after I left his house for university. Meanwhile, it was right after secondary school. It was the longest car ride of my life. They stopped letting me go out. It was a traumatizing experience. I never got their trust back, and I’ve stopped trying.

Jumoke, 25

I was 21, fresh out of law school when I got pregnant. I didn’t know what to do so I told my mother. She was like, “Ehen, so you are having sex and you are not even having safe sex.” She asked me what I was going to do and I said I wanted to keep it. She laughed and said, “You can’t be serious”. She gave me some pills shortly after. It was either I took them or left the house. I took them, and that was it. A part of me resents her for making me choose but I’m also grateful because bringing a child into my life would have been the worst mistake I ever made, especially now I know I don’t want to have kids.

Bimbo, 24

One morning when I was 20, I had this weird stomach ache — I had never had anything like it before. I tried to manage for a bit but it wasn’t subsiding so I crawled to my mum’s room. I told her about the stomach ache amidst groans. She felt my stomach, trying to gauge where the pain was coming from. When she found the spot, she said, “This type of pain only happens on your period or if you’re having sex.” She asked if I was on my period and I said no, then she said, ”You have started having fun abi?” LMAO. 

I paused and she said, “When I’m coming home today, I’ll buy you a pregnancy kit. It’s not me you will embarrass.”

Tiaraoluwa, 23

My mom found out I was sexually active when I got pregnant at 18. I had fainted at the market and told her when I returned home. She started paying more attention to me. When I was about to go back to school, she forced me to take a pregnancy test and it was positive.

I knew I was pregnant, and I had tried aborting it with some pills. My mother took me to a clinic for a scan. There, they discovered the drugs I took had stopped the foetus from growing and it was barely breathing. She was mad that I couldn’t tell her I was pregnant and I didn’t trust her enough to tell her. I was five months gone when she found out. We are still not over it. 

Folake, 18

I had sex with this guy when I was 16 and the bastard forgot to tell me he spilt his seed in me. When I found out, I panicked and bought the morning after pill. I left the pack in my wardrobe and my little sister found it. She went to show my mom. At first, I denied it — I said one of my friends used it for her painful cramps. The lie was going smoothly till my dad came back. He read my chat with my friend and omo, I chopped beating. Life became miserable — they seized my phone for five months. The most annoying part was that I still got my period that day. 

For more women-centred content, click here

Quiz: Can We Guess The Last Time You Had Sex?

Take this quiz, and we’ll tell you when last you had sex.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

January 14, 2020

Firstly, this is a safe place Secondly, this was done for the sake of science Lastly, leave your home training at the door and come in So, the other day I was wondering (not so loudly) the cost of adult toys. With dwindling wages and increased unemployment, what’s the cost of a decent toy that […]


Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

September 1, 2021

August is over, and here are some of our best quizzes from August. Enjoy: 1. QUIZ: Only Ajebutters Can Get 10/21 On This Quiz Some people like to form ajepako when they’re really ajebutter. Are you one of them? Let’s find out. 2. QUIZ: Sorry, If You’re Under 25 There’s No Way You Can Pass […]

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

More from Her

May 11, 2022

Today’s subject on #Zikokowhatshesaid is @fehinlean, a 30-year-old Nigerian woman. She talks about her childhood love for motorcycles, why she waited until she was 28 to ride one and handling the stares when people realise she isn’t a man, on her biking trips across the country.

May 7, 2022

“I have gone from believing in the possibility that God exists to questioning the reality of that chance.”

In this essay, Mariam talks about her journey with religion over the years and what influences her lack of faith.

Read here:


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.