5 Nigerian Women Talk About The Time They Settled In A Relationship

May 27, 2021

There are a lot of reasons someone might feel they settled for less than you deserved in a relationship. So, these five Nigerian women talk about the times they settled in their relationship.

Joy, 21

In the first two months of the relationship, I was smitten! We shared similar interests in things, and he used to shower me with attention and gifts. Sadly, the reason I was even in a relationship with him was that I was dealing with a lot of things, and he was the only person that could understand me.

I’m very big on physical fitness because I’m a big enthusiast, but he on the other hand was very lazy and rarely ever worked out. We’re also from two different socioeconomic worlds. I’m very used to classy people and things due to the people I grew up with. He on the other hand was judgemental towards my friends.

Most times I wish I didn’t even allow it to get that far, I should have just friendzoned him, but I was emotionally dependent on him.

Cynthia, 20

There was this guy I had a thing with and the first red flag should have been the fact that he was friends with my exes. At first, we liked each other as friends but, when he broke up with his ex, we became closer.

When our thing started, uncle was doing rotation with me and the ex, but I was trying to be the good and understanding babe. He said he was comforting his ex. Whenever I’m unavailable, he was with her. He’ll now come and say she was the one that called him and he didn’t know how to say no. He came up with excuse that she was always crying and his mum said he should check on her.Whenever i talk to him about it, he always said ‘put yourself in her shoes. Everyone warned me, but I was forming let love lead.

He never smelled nice, and was just plain with no swag. Well, the scale fell off my eyes and when I saw that I had settled, I ran!

Aminat, 25

I started working in like 200 level because my dad was not having sense, my mum’s finances weren’t really good anymore, and I needed to keep up with my baby girl lifestyle. I got a well-paying job, it was remote and I was able to live up to my standard.

I’ve always dated very rich, wealthy, and generous men. Due to that reason, I always got really expensive gifts and lots of money unwarranted. I even got about $25k on my birthday from my ex-husband, but before my ex-husband, there was this man I dated briefly.

This man didn’t have a good-paying job but didn’t want to do better. I even tried to use my network for him, but he just didn’t want to make an effort. He lived in a 1 bedroom apartment with just a mattress on the floor and he turned down so many opportunities that could make him have more money. I think he felt comfortable because he was getting money from me. I wasn’t used to that kind of life.

Atinuke, 27

My friends always tell me I am not the most reasonable person when I am in love, but I can’t help it. He told me he loved me and I fell for his silly words. He and I were in a “special relationship” which was code for him to fuck around and see other people, but I did not mind. I loved him. It was just that he never treated me like any of the other girls he was with. I was very insecure about how I looked, so I latched on to him for any form of validation. He would not reply to any of my texts for days, weeks even.

He saved all of his fancy gifts for his other women, and only messaged me when he needed someone to give him money or find solutions to his problems, and I would go out of my way to borrow money for him. Freelancing was what he did, so he never had a stable source of income. However, when they paid him, they paid him big. Did he ever get me anything though? No. Not even a hundred naira recharge card.

One day, I saw him falling over his feet for another girl on an outing we were on together. He paid for her meal and everything, while I paid for ours. That was when my brain reset and I left him. Did not even explain anything to him. Then when he comes into my dms to ask for help, I just reply him with “eyah”.

Bola, 21

We’ve been together for four years, and he has hurt me so much in that time. He’s manipulative and never likes to address issues. He just likes to sweep everything under the rug. I love him, but at this point, I think I am looking for someone else. He would lie about unnecessary things like where he is. He is also a serial flirt, and he forces me to accept it. Once, he asked a girl he cheated on me with to block me because I brought up the comments he leaves on her Instagram account. I felt so stupid. He has told me a lot of times that he would do whatever he wants, and I would just have to deal with it. I currently live with him, but I am saving up to get my own place. I’ve taken so much, and I can’t wait to disappear.


Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

For more stories of women and the things they do, please click here

Itohan Esekheigbe

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

February 16, 2021

Being a first daughter in African homes is a different kind of pressure, responsibility and work. These twenty African women share what being a first daughter is like. Anna, 22 From a young age, I was expected to take care of my siblings while receiving no care or attention from my parents at all. I […]

February 11, 2021

The last time I went down a google rabbit hole, it led to me discovering and renaming some very interesting sex positions. Now, I found very interesting beauty products while stuck in another google rabbit hole, and I will rename them and guess what they actually do. 1) The many faced brush Why? Are you […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

leaving their ex
June 18, 2021

Sometimes we get overwhelmed and make decisions we later regret. In this article, six Nigerian women talk about why they regret leaving their ex.  Tomisin, 25 My ex used to send me not less than 50k every month.  He moved abroad and after two months, he told me he has fallen in love with someone […]

June 18, 2021

People love us for various reasons. Take this quiz and we’ll tell you what your friends love most about you. Relationships can be hard, and sometimes you just need someone to give you a bit of advice. Ask Ozzy is our new advice column where you send Zikoko the relationship questions that have been bugging […]

June 17, 2021

While smart investing is a sure way to build and retain wealth, it can be a daunting prospect for beginners. In the same vein, it is a lot easier when you understand the various options in which you can invest and ultimately grow your wealth. Here are some options you can consider when taking the […]

June 17, 2021

The BBNaija Lockdown Reunion (2020’s edition of Big Brother Naija) show will air on the 17th of June 2021. Keeping with the tradition of the show, the reunion will be hosted by Ebuka Obi Uchendu and will feature some of the BBN: Lockdown housemates talking about memorable moments from their season while also hashing out […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

February 26, 2020

Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

More from Her

leaving their ex
June 18, 2021

Sometimes we get overwhelmed and make decisions we later regret. In this article, six Nigerian women talk about why they regret leaving their ex.  Tomisin, 25 My ex used to send me not less than 50k every month.  He moved abroad and after two months, he told me he has fallen in love with someone […]

Acne
June 16, 2021

Dealing with acne is never easy. From random people recommending products to you to the self-esteem dip, everyone has their story. In this article, seven Nigerian women talk about living with acne.  Khloe, 22  I was 14 the first time I noticed acne on my face. It was my first year in university. I didn’t […]

June 16, 2021

The subject of this week’s What She Said is a 25-year-old Nigerian woman who has travelled to over fifteen countries alone. She talks about how this love for travelling started, the way she’s stigmatised at airports and in hotels, and her dream to attend aviation school. What was growing up like? Life was good until […]

menstrual cups
June 15, 2021

As inflation happens and prices of products across the country increase, more Nigerian women are moving away from pads to more sustainable sanitary products. In this article, five Nigerian women talk about their experience using menstrual cups.  Elizabeth, 19 Sanitary pads never did it for me. Getting good sanitary pads was a real struggle for […]

June 11, 2021

How we start our day usually has a paramount effect on how the rest of our day goes. When you love a woman or want to move to a woman you like, it is important you send her beautiful messages to put her in the right mood. Here’s a list of helpful ways on how […]

June 11, 2021

We have written about some of the ways the Twitter ban affects Nigerians. Here’s a list of the ways the ban affects Nigerian women. It will affect their access to: 1. Learning opportunities Twitter has always been a source of information to many women. In an article published yesterday, some women talked about how they […]

June 10, 2021

Feminism is a diverse movement that aims to liberate women and other oppressed groups. Each feminist’s path is different from the next. In this article, I asked eight Nigerian women why they became feminists, and here’s what they had to say:  Kay, 26 I was a feminist even before I knew what the word meant. […]

consequences of teen pregnancies
June 10, 2021

I read a lot of books growing up about the consequences of teen pregnancies and it was always interesting to me how teenagers were treated without a care in such conversations. Nothing about how they feel or how it happened and how to prevent it — just age-old fear-mongering. In this article, four Nigerian women […]

Nigerian female lawyers
June 9, 2021

This week is one of those times where we, as a country, wonder if the constitution is simply a suggestion. Many lawyers have complained of studying and practising law in a lawless state. Like with most issues, women’s experiences take a unique form. In this article, nine Nigerian female lawyers talk about practising law in […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X