Your Ultimate Nigeria vs Iceland Survival guide

STAR
June 22, 2018

We know we already screwed up against Croatia.

But did we die?

Anyway, for this match, the players have assured us they will die on the line.

Whether home, away, out, anything, we will die on that line

But we have some important warnings for them.

Please read carefully

Dear Eagles, please we don’t want to see you dance any shaku shaku today.

Everyday shaku shaku, no goal

I also have to add that we know you boys are buff, but the fashion show is enough please.

Not everyday runway

See for this game, we need you guys to actually stand. Stop falling.

At least you have a better chance at scoring if you’re on your feet and not on the floor

If goal is catching you, Great Super Eagles, please go to their post. You know, that’s actually where you can score a goal.

Makes sense right?

You also need to remember that as you’re praying, they’re also praying

But na who play pass dey win match

Also, before you settle down to watch this match, please make sure there’s fuel in your generator.

Because anything could go wrong, not Nepa o.

If you don’t have fuel in your generator , you can just enter a viewing center.

There’d be cold Star there as well, so win win

And if you’re watching from home, be very sure to secure a few cans of Star.

You know, just to relax your nerves

But whatever you do, do not be alone while watching this match.

It is too risky, watch with your whole squad, all of them.

If we win, then you can dance shake shake or anything else with your chest

Yes! Super Eagles issa goal, we always believed in you boys

And if we lose, just try to sleep it off.

But please tell the Eagles to just stay in russia

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