“Congratulations, you got the job.” comes with its own brand of anxiety.

That’s when imposter syndrome from your village people comes out to visit, asking questions like: “can you perform? how long before they discover that you are a fraud?”

There are also other problems more work-related with a new 9-5, especially in Nigeria. So, what are some of these issues?

Where do they sell food?

See, I don’t joke with food and neither should you. It’s quite important to find out on the very first day of starting at a new job where they sell the sweetest yet affordable food. Never allow capitalism to win.

African man eating:newjob

How many toilets are there?

For people like us who have shy sphincters, we need time, music, and enough privacy to do our business. You don’t want a situation where people are knocking on the door because there is only one toilet in the office. I even advise that one of the interview questions to ask is: “how many toilets do you have in the company?”

FrankDonga: new job

Hope they don’t owe salary?

Affliction shall never rise again. Especially if you have experienced that kind of situation in the past. This is one of the many questions that nags at the back of your mind.

Goodluck Jonathan: New job

Okay, what time do we close?

There are some 24-hour jobs disguised as 9-5. So, part of the questions on your mind is that hope this one isn’t one of those.

Is there December bonus?

Pls, help. Thanks and God bless.

Buhari: new job

What’s the cost of transportation?

Is there holdup on my work route? Do I need 5 buses, I boat, 2 flying carpets before I get to work and how much of my salary goes to that?

I hope they acknowledge public holidays?

If your profession is under essential categories such as healthcare, police, banker, etc. Just don’t bother, your reward is in heaven.

Obama thinking

Are there boundaries? especially with food.

I genuinely hope no one steals lunch or takes my drink without my permission. There is nothing more stressful than obnoxious colleagues.

Can we work from home?

Please. I can’t do traffic struggles. Please.

boy talking into a microphone Zikoko ielts


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.