It’s hard to imagine Nigerian politicians doing anything other than leeching off Nigeria’s treasury for as long as they can.
We know Nigerian politicians want to stay in power forever, but if they had to work a 9-5 job like the rest of us, what would be their defining character traits — based on what we already know about them?
Yahaya Bello
He says things like “Purrr” out loud to sound like a GenZ even though he’s clearly 47, watches NTA and thinks TikTok is a wristwatch brand.
Remi Tinubu
She always arrives the office late and leaves early because she has a rich husband and doesn’t need the job. She tends to say, “Children of nowadays,” much too often.
Ayo Fayose
Even though he’s a 61-year-old grandfather, he’s the office comedian, and interns hide from him because he’s always sending them to buy roadside amala.
Aisha Buhari
No one knows what exactly she does at the company but she makes enough to visit Dubai for vacation every two months.
Femi Fani-Kayode
He’s always sending broadcast messages about the latest conspiracy theories to the office WhatsApp group. Everyone tries to hide their lunch from him because he always wants to take “just two spoons” out of their food.
Ben Ayade
Says words like “braggadoccio” and “sesquipedalian” to sound like the most intelligent person in the room. Also likes to cry in the office restroom when his salary finishes in the middle of the month.
Stella Oduah
She has no time for office gossip and just goes around minding the business that pays her. But she’s also secretly using the company’s Uber account to run her personal bakery business.
Dino Melaye
He spends all his work hours on social media, tweets a lot about how much he hates his 9-5 and takes too many sick days off for his side hustle as an aspiring Nollywood actor.
Lai Mohammed
No one argues with him because he’s been at the company even before the founder. But if he says good morning to you, you know it’s time to go to bed.
Nyesom Wike
He talks too much and he’s the reason why office meetings last three hours.
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