Citizen is a column that explains how the government’s policies fucks citizens and how we can unfuck ourselves.

Hey, hope you didn’t buy the Nation newspaper this morning, because, technically what you would have bought was a birthday card.

Big Flex

Well, this man here bought the newspaper and here’s what he found – a national birthday card!

And it slaps harder like a Nigeria soldier if you accompany it with a birthday song:

What do people think about this trojan horse, sorry newspaper?

1. Investigate them

2. This is a free copy, right?

3. What’s more miserable than wanting read miserable news?

4) Anger, just anger

Moral of the story:

1. When you’re big you’re big.
2. Anything you see in Nigeria, take it like that.
3. Know the two things above and know peace.