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  • Nigerian parents have proven to be the same everywhere. Do you want to win their hearts? Follow our list to become their favourite child. If you don’t think your parents have favourites, well, you need this article more than you think.

    Call them regularly 

    You already knew this — constant communication with someone makes them more fond of you, talk more of Nigerian parents that love gist. Whether it’s gist about a relative, gossip about church people or an annoying co-worker, they’re there for it.

    Send them pictures 

    Forget all the love languages you think you know, this is what your Nigerian parents want — especially if you don’t see them often. Send them pictures of your day, of you with your friends, at work, in church, everything. 

    Even though they’ll always see something wrong, like your hair, dress, makeup or bikini, they’re lowkey excited. You’ll be giving them pictures to update with a  “my priceless jewel” caption on their Wuzzsup.

    Stop pressing your phone

    They’ve made it very clear that they hate the sight of you pressing your phone, imagine how happy they’ll be when you actually decide to stop. 

    We’re not saying it’ll be easy but love is sacrifice, right? 

    Introduce them to your friends 

    Remember when you were younger and your parents kept complaining about you always going over to your friends instead of them visiting you? Well, turns out Nigerian parents don’t like to feel left out; they actually want to meet your friends and infiltrate your circle. 

    Give them grandkids

    From what we hear, Nigerian parents become softer when they have grandkids, so having a baby is your opening to steal their love and affection. 

    RELATED: The Different Ways Nigerian Parents Change When They Have Grandchildren  

    Become a doctor 

    One thing parents love more than grandkids is having a child they can brag about. Adding “Doctor” to your name will make your parents love you even more. I mean, who doesn’t want to be a “Mama/Papa Doctor”? 

    Be the first or last born

    We don’t understand why this works, but it does. If you’re already a middle child, *tears* wake up and claim a different position. If they ask you, just say you’re born again and that’ll be the end of that conversation. 

    Follow them on social media 

    You may not know it, but your parents see your follow-back on social media as a stamp of validation. It means you rate them and it shows. Before you know it, you’re bonding over funny memes and the latest trends. I don’t see how you’ll not be their fave after that. 

    CONTINUE READING: 12 Frustrating Things Nigerian Parents Do To Their Kids  

  • While we all like to think we remain bad bitches even in love, this simple quiz will separate those that break hearts and those that get their hearts broken.

  • Your one black jean has tried, and you know it—take this quiz and we’ll tell you if you need to invest more in your wardrobe.

  • Do you really care about your skin or you’re just winging it? With skincare becoming more popular, we believe that everyone should know some basics about their skin–don’t disappoint us.

  • Have you ever felt like you’re in the wrong body? Like they got your age wrong at the hospital and now you’re being forced to adult even though you clearly identify with a different generation?

    Then you should take this quiz.

  • This particular movie left us with more questions than answers, and we know we’re not the only ones that felt the sudden urge to know what Glamour Girl character we are.

    So take this quiz to find out.

  • Students hate the ASUU strike, but what they hate even more is having people give their hot takes on the issue. On the surface, they’re innocent statements from a genuine place but when you think of how depressing the situation already is for students waiting on the government to make things work *tears* you’d understand why it hurts to hear them.

    Here are seven things you must never say to a student stuck at home because of the ASUU strike:

    “What’s the update on ASUU?”

    When you ask this one time, it’s okay, but always asking this same question when you know there’s never an update with this government is traumatising. If you care so much, you should just follow up on the news yourself.

    You know you can just check their site sha

    “You should learn handwork”

    You can advise someone to learn a trade or business without trying to force the idea down their throat. Like it or not, not everyone is interested in entrepreneurship, and that’s okay. Even if you have passion, you may fail because pursuing dreams is not for the fainthearted.

    But I went to school to avoid this 

    “When are you going to serve?”

    NYSC is not so great, so chill. You see all the variations of this statement — Where do you work? Are you still in school? How many years has it been now? —throw them away because from what we hear, they’re ready to fight you for them.

    “If only you did a different course”

    If you’ve ever said this to someone, kneel, place your left hand on your head and ask the spirit of stupidity to lose its hold on you. We don’t need to point out that there’s nothing they could do with this information.

    “Get the best out of this period by making money”

    Stop broke-shaming people, it’s it’s insensitive— especially when you know the odds are against them in the current economy.

    This is particularly common with the seven-figure Affiliate Marketers that are always making money from their phones. 

    If only it were that easy

    “What are you doing to add value to yourself?”

    You ask because you care, and that’s great, but trying to stay alive and sane in this country should do for now.

    “You should go and marry”

    We’re embarrassed on your behalf because what in the seven seas would make you say this? Did your parents get married because they couldn’t finish school? If they did, the way you think makes a lot more sense.

    ALSO READ: Will Nigerian Students Ever Be Free of ASUU Strike?

  • Before you read this article, we want you to rid your mind of whatever you think you already know about food. This is not your regular food article; this is a fight for inclusion.  

    Owambes are great but everyone knows the highlight is the food, which is why no one forgets the party where they didn’t get served or the one with the unchewable meat. 

    If food is such a big deal, why do we limit ourselves to a few key players? Why not include more of these six Nigerian dishes on our party menu? All foods matter after all. 

    Ewa Agoyin

    Nigerians are finally beginning to see the light because a few owanbes already have this on the menu, but we can do better. Since people are always complaining about eating too much rice, it would be nice to have ewa agoyin and soft agege bread as an option.

    Indomie

    Nigerians are in a secret relationship with indomie because why is it okay to fall on it when sapa has you in a chokehold or when you’re too hungry or lazy to spend more than 15 minutes cooking, but draw the line when it’s time to show it off on your special day?

    They make it work in boarding schools, so clearly it can work for owanbe parries.

    RELATED: All The Many Times Indomie Saved Us  

    Bread and Tea

    The more you think about it, the more you see that bread and tea are perfect as both starter and main dish. Sometimes, people just want something light, so instead of having them pick at the food and end up wasting it, how about you try bread?

    Akara and Pap

    Before you raise your eyebrows just imagine this as a starter — you’re munching on hot akara and drinking your pap while waiting for your main dish. In this rainy weather, what could be better?

    You might end up falling asleep at the event, but even though! 

    Bole and Groundnut

    Have you ever had bole and groundnut before? The combination is orgasmic, so what are we saying?

    Garri Salad

    We’re not saying there’s anything wrong with salad, but we are Nigerians forgusake, we’re supposed to stand out and nothing does that better than infusing our salad with garri.

    The Nigerian dream

    ALSO READ: 13 Pictures Of Food That Will Make You Miss Owambes  

  • This quiz will help fish out the Gen Zs in our midst and remind us of simpler, better times.

  • What’s better than pepper? Nothing! This is why you should add a little pepper to your dining. At the end of this article, you’d find yourself thanking us—you’re welcome. 

    Just add pepper

    Pancakes

    You mean people make pancakes without adding fresh pepper or even ata rodo to it? Are you a cultist?

    Plantain 

    Not liking plantain is a red flag — not just to me —but to members of the plantain secret cult. It specifically made this list because adding pepper is the only way I enjoy dodo. 

    RELATED: 5 Foods Made Out of Plantain That Nigerians Don’t Joke With

    Ice cream 

    This can’t be the first time you’ve thought about it. Imagine a sprinkle of pepper to your ice cream’s cold, sugary taste. You won’t look at vanilla the same way again.

    Toast 

    It beats me how you can decide to eat something so bland in the first place—toast bread, French toast, whatever name you and your family members know it by. But add ground pepper and watch it move from a five to a solid eight. 

    RELATED: What’s the Best Thing to Eat Bread With? We Ranked Them All

    Wine 

    You better believe that pepper is one ingredient that separates Rosé from your Fourth Street or Four Cousins. 

    Tip: One pinch should do the trick.

    Rice

    Rice has Nigerians in a chokehold, so why won’t you be open to trying new recipes? Add pepper to give it an extra zing.

    Yes, we mean your white rice. 

    Chocolates

    Listen, too much sugar equals diabetes and nobody wants that. Why don’t you counterattack it with a little pepper here and there then? 

    ALSO READ: Are You Even Nigerian if You Don’t Like These Very Nigerian Things?