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  • Nothing can stop Nigerians from throwing elaborate parties, wearing asoebi and generally having the time of their lives. Same way, you can’t attend owambe and not find these people. 

    The fashionistas

    This one will do anything to stand out. If you’re not careful, you’ll mistake them for the celebrant. Wearing the latest style, flawless makeup and expensive jewellery, they turn heads as they go. They’re either there to represent or pepper someone. 

    The foodies

    They’re there just for the food, so imagine trying to skip them when you’re sharing? They’ll fight you. It doesn’t matter if they can’t pronounce the name of the food or have never seen it before, as long as it’s on the menu, they want it. They’re the actual embodiment of awoof dey run belle.

    RELATED: These 6 Nigerian Meals Should Be on All Owambe Menus 

    The content creators

    They don’t just attend owambes, they make sure their whole contact list attends with them. With how diligent they are in creating content, you’d wonder if they’re getting paid for it. They take pictures and videos of everything; food, decor, themselves… 

    The dancers 

    Mostly found on the bridal train or among the groomsmen, these ones just want to show off their dance moves. Their videos will end up trending, so that’s good. 

    The party crashers

    We call these ones mo gbo mo ya. They have no idea what the name of the couple is, but they were bored and heard about the party, so there they are. You’d think they’re part of the family in their best fit, and with the biggest smiles. 

    RELATED: How To (Successfully) Gatecrash An Owambe In Nigeria 

    The commentators 

    With years of owambe experience under their belt, they believe they know how everything should be. Their job is to criticise everything, from hall size to the bridal train dresses and the texture of meat. 

    The scouts

    They’re at different parties every other week, hoping to find the love of their lives. Or at least, the next person to sponsor their soft life. 

    ALSO READ: The Most Effective Ways to Avoid Aso-Ebi Billing

  • Nigerian singer, Tems has become the hottest thing after morning akara. With both national and international recognition, if Tems is not on your playlist, sorry, we don’t rate your taste in music.

    Take this quiz to prove yourself.

  • Nigerians love reality shows, especially ones packed with drama, sexual content, and promises of chaos. This is why Big Brother Naija (BBNaija) has become a national favourite. And even though each season comes with a different theme or twist, one thing remains constant — the characters of the housemates on the show. 

    The Ladies’ man

    Every season, there’s a dangerously attractive male housemate. Tall handsome and a 10/10 actual spec. He has women in and out of the house fawning over him. Even though BBNaija Season 7: Level Up has just started, it’s clear who has this title already. 

    Miss endowed 

    These ones have a banging body and they live to flaunt it. Unarguably the curviest female in the house, they may appear vain and superficial but they’re smart and never take their eyes off the bag. 

    Upcoming artist

    Some people get into the Big Brother house for the experience, others for the prize money. And then there are the ones who just want to sell their music. Makes us wonder why they didn’t go for Nigeria’s Got Talent instead. But with previous winners like Efe, Laycon, and Whitemoney, this seems like a winning strategy? 

    The one with an accent, init 

    There’re two kinds of people here. On one hand, we have those who were either born abroad, schooled there, or travel abroad a lot. They’re not really there for the money, and it shows. You have to listen closely to what they’re saying to understand them. 

    Then there’s the one that went to Dubai once and somehow developed an Ameri-Igbo accent. You also need to pay attention to hearing them because their accents are as unstable as the national power grid. 

    The cook

    Husband or Wife material 100 yards. They use Nigerians’ love for food to win the other housemates over. We can’t tell if they genuinely like cooking or if cooking is their strategy. 

    Life of the party

    They aren’t necessarily the best dancers but their burst of energy and jolly vibes make them the highlight of every party. We look forward to the Saturday night parties especially because of them. 

    It’s too early to call it this year, but I have my eyes on Phyna, the hype mistress, and Chichi, the exotic dancer. 

    The micro-celeb

    Whether it’s Instagram influencers or ex-beauty Queens, there’s always someone with a considerable level of social media before entering the house. We once had Tacha; last year we had Liquorose and this year it’s Hermes. I mean, if you’ve been in Davido and Burna Boy’s videos, you’re celeb material. 

    Married man

    Is this a good idea for married people to be part of this reality show? Maybe not, but they add extra plot thickening. 

    The trouble maker

    What’s a reality show without vawulence? Nigerians hate peace, so they’re always on the lookout for the most likely to throw hands. And there’s always that housemate that delivers. Even though their fellow housemates might hate them and they may be tagged controversial, they have a lot of supporters on the bird app. 

    Games master 

    With the amount of truth or dares they play in the house, it only makes sense for someone to volunteer as the self-acclaimed games master. They put so much energy and passion into coordinating games, we wonder where that energy is during the Head of House games.  

    The season just started but you should know: Who Has a Shot at Winning BBNaija Level Up? Let’s Break It Down

  • In case you didn’t notice, everyone around you has either japaed, is about to japa or started the process of japaing.

    Take this quiz and we’ll tell you how you’ll eventually leave the country.

    Before you Japa, you should know what Nigerians abroad are up to nowadays.

    CATCH UP

  • This is just one of those questions you may not have asked yourself, but now you can’t stop thinking about it. Just take the quiz and find out.

  • Let’s face it, adulting sucks.. Even with all your hard work, the struggle to survive until your next paycheck continues every day. So for you to enjoy the soft life, you need free money. But who’s going to give you free money? A sugar mummy/daddy. These are the sure-banker ways to find your dream glucose guardian.

    Package yourself

    We keep saying this thing about dressing the way you want to be addressed but you’ve refused to listen? Fix up and your sugar parent will locate you. But if that fails…?

    Find out where they like to hang out and go there

    Were you expecting them to come and meet you at your house before? Smh. Take a day off from capitalism and explore the places you think potential glucose guardians might be. Make sure you go alone — or with one friend at most — get a seat at the centre of the place, and whenever you’re asked a question talk really loudly in your best British accent.

    In case you didn’t know: All the Places You Can Find a Nigerian Sugar Daddy

    Cold DM or email them

    Being a sugar baby is a full-time job, so you have to take it seriously. Do your research and send them a DM or email. We’ll always suggest you reach out to them with your cover letter stating all the amazing things you bring to the table. Also attach testimonials of your “work, a hot JPEGs and your Whatsapp number.

    Ask your friends

    Charity begins at home. You keep saying your friends’ houses feel like home, but why not ask them about their parents. Won’t they rather it be you than a random stranger who may try to break up their family in future? 

    Best case scenario, it works out and everyone’s happy. Worst case, you know who your real friends are. 

    Convince your employer

    You’ll be sure they have money to give you — and they already liked you to the extent of employing you. So while others are asking for a raise or bonuses or extra perks, you should be busy trying to convince them to be your glucose guardian. 

    RELATED: 10 Nigerian Memes To Make Your Boss Fall In Love With You 

    Pray 

    Do you need us to explain this one too? Desperate times call for desperate measures. If you can’t get one by yourself, maybe you need help. You probably prayed and that’s why you found this article. 

    RELATED: All the Many Characteristics of a God-Fearing Sugar Daddy

    Think like an ant 

    Half of the time, these restrictions are of the mind. Because think about it, how do ants always find the sugar? No matter where you keep it, they’ll always find it. It’s the strong will for us. So study ants and learn from them — even the Bible said you should. 

    ALSO READ: How to Get Your Crush to Notice You Online

  • Everyone’s spending a lot of time on the internet these days, even your crush. So instead of showing up at their front door with roses and panranran, you could build a relationship with them online. 

    No, this article doesn’t have some cringe lines you can use to shoot your shot. What it does have are proven tips to make them notice you, and if you’re lucky, initiate the relationship. 

    Like all their stories and tweets

    Keep liking whatever story they post. Don’t say anything to them, don’t follow them, just like all their stories. After two weeks of this, they’ll notice you. It’s very simple, but it works.

    Turn on post notification, and be the first to comment on their posts

    Always spice things up. On some days, “First to comment. Kfb. I love you” on others, “it’s giving, you ate, step on my neck, break my back and use my heart as your armrest”. Just be creative, let them see you’re serious.

    RELATED: 10 “Fire” Social Media Comments Guaranteed To Land You The Woman Of Your Dreams 

    Follow and unfollow them

    Just think about it. They may not notice when you first follow them. But there’s no way they can ignore you by the 15th time. 

    Post thirst traps

    From the name alone, you know it’s effective. Add them to your IG close friends list, post sexy pictures or videos and wait for them to fall into your trap. If you want to be extra, add a song you’ve seen them jamming to, or wear their favourite colour or even a thong with their initials. Figure it out, we can’t tell you everything. 

    Create a burner account and drag them

    Before you rule this one out, let us finish. You’ll be dragging them with your burner account and defending them with your real one. They’ll message you to thank you for always coming to their defence, and even beg you to date them. 

    RELATED: 5 Nigerians Tell Us Why They Have Burner Twitter Accounts 

    Do giveaways 

    The country is hard. Everybody is looking for free money, even your crush. So even if they’re too shy to participate in the giveaway, they’ll know you’re rich and start to pay attention. 

    End up on any popular blog

    It doesn’t matter what you trend for, in our experience, the worse, the better. Just do something that’ll get you on a gossip blog. You’ll not only get their attention but you’ll get everyone’s attention. This plan can’t fail.

    Start an IG live, and wait for them

    For this one, you need perseverance. Beg all your followers to tag them in the comment section of the live till they come and acknowledge you. Pros: Everyone would be invested in your love story (what do they say about when two or three agree?)

    Con: It’ll cost you a lot of data because you might have to be there the whole day.

    Pro tip: Make a lot of fuss about it online before you eventually go live, so at least, you’d get more than your usual one viewer.

    Greet them every time

    Once in the morning, afternoon and night — like a doctor’s prescription. They’ll either find your persistence cute or they’ll think you’re a creep and block you. Either way, you get recognition, no?

    Find out who their crush is, and catfish as them

    Even your crush has a crush, and that’s their weakness. Find out who the person is, create an account in their name, add their pictures and message your crush. It doesn’t matter that they’re only giving you attention cause they think you’re someone else — attention is attention. 

    We think you should find out: QUIZ: Does Your Crush Like You Back?  

  • Even if you remember the name of these old Nigerian soaps, we bet you can’t recognize them from the opposite of their titles. Or can you?

    Jazz House of Peace

  • Imagine thinking you found the one, only to be served breakfast. Now, you’re back on the streets, but you’re not sure where to start — how about with these must-haves. 

    Ashawo clothing

    Before you even think of entering the streets, you need to know it’s very competitive. So bring your A-game; bodycon dresses, crop tops, sleeveless shirts, miniskirts, ashawo shorts, peplum tops, white trad — whatever makes you feel sexy tbh. 

    Pepper

    EDITOR’s PICK: QUIZ: What Type of Pepper Are You? 

    People on the streets are wicked, so you have to be wickeda. Before they start to move mad, quickly show them small pepper. Nobody will tell them not to mess with you again. 

    Bandages

    You should also accompany it with basic first aid skills because you’ll need them. You’d think that being on the streets would spare you from heartbreak, but wait till you meet Femi or Amaka. Even the bandage may not be able to protect your heart.

    Eye drops

    Nothing can prepare you for the things you’ll see on the streets. But at least, eye drops may help you forget. Just make sure you use them regularly sha so it doesn’t lose potency. 

    Kpankere

    Cane, whip, whatever you choose to call it — whoever says violence is not the answer has never been on the streets.

    READ UP: 21 Crimes You Can Get Beaten For 

    Spoon

    Always have a spoon handy. This is pretty obvious because how else do you plan on chopping people’s money? And if you don’t see the money to chop? Don’t worry, you can still chop breakfast. 

    Anointing oil

    If you don’t have anything else — for your sake and your partners’. On the streets, people are always threatening to move mad, so when they start to act possessed, just bring out your oil and anoint them against evil. 

    Plan B

    No, not the kind you’re thinking of. We mean a backup plan for when the streets fail because it most certainly will. So prepare your mind to join the seminary or convent.

    ALSO READ: 11 Things To Carry With You Before Entering the Lagos Dating Scene 

  • You’re a complete spec, so you deserve the absolute best. If your partner is not it, you’ll know from this quiz.