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  • As much as you may want to stay indoors forever, that’s simply not possible. Well, it can be for the most part, but once in a while, you may find yourself outside. 

    So whether you’re an introvert or just sick of human beings, here’s how to enjoy parties as an introvert. 

    Prepare yourself

    Shey you know that saying about failing to prepare and preparing to fail. So whether you’d take the days before the event to stay indoors and enjoy the solitude, or you’d start going to new places days before to ease yourself into going outside and socialising. Find whatever works for you and prepare yourself. 

    Know the guest list

    Imagine going to a party where you don’t know anyone besides the host. You’d now be stuck with an unending chain of “what’s your name, how do you do?” questions.

    Related: The Introvert’s Guide to Making Friends 

    Go with your friend 

    At least you’ll have someone to gist with during the party. And since you’re already friends, there’ll be no pressure on you to force conversations. 

    Join the game

    Sure,  truth or dare may come up during the party, and you may be dared to make out with someone or show another person your underwear, but at least you’re not just sitting in a corner.

    Related: Interview With Truth or Dare: “Why Are Nigerian Men So Horny?” 

    Do the listening 

    Nigerians like to talk, so don’t be surprised if you ask them one question and they respond by telling you about a million other things you don’t care about. Just make sure you nod your head at intervals, smile and throw in an “ehen?” or “hmmm” once in a while, so they  think you’re paying attention.

    Take breaks 

    Nobody can kuma beat you. If you’re feeling exhausted from all the socialising, just find somewhere you can go to be alone. 

    Have an exit plan 

    Even before you go, have a list of excuses urgent reasons why you need to leave. So if or when you get tired of the party, you can just slip out. 

    If you’re still not convinced about going out, then read: The Introvert’s Guide to Pulling Out of Any Outing.

  • The food you eat has a lot to say about you. So depending on what you choose to eat, we can tell you how wicked you are.

    Take the quiz and see.

  • Following the head of house games on Monday, 29th August, Biggie had each housemate nominate someone for possible eviction. Only, unlike the other times, there’d be no room for viewers to vote, as the highest voted housemate would be leaving immediately.

    At the end of the session, Doyin and Amaka were the most nominated housemates, with six nominations each.

    The housemates’ reaction when Biggie announced that Amaka had been evicted from the Level Up season.

    Even though we could tell Amaka felt betrayed, she seemed to have left with no hard feelings as she told the housemates how much she loved them.

    But unlike Amaka, the viewers were not having it and here’s what they had to say on Twitter. 

    Sigh

    Na so? 

    We could all agree it was an unfortunate situation

    But while some people were threatening to boycott the show

    Others blamed it on karma 

    A few people thought big brother was being partial

    But trust Nigerians to catch cruise with everything

    LMAO, this one is funny sha

    Omo, fear human beings 

    But there was still something we didn’t get 

    They dragged this question so much, big brother had to explain

    In the end, it’s still a game. So we wish her well

    At this point, anything can happen on this show, so you need to stay updated. If you’re still unsure of what’s happening, maybe you need to check out what happened last week.

  • Another week, another round of drama. And as usual, we’re bringing you all the gist you may have missed in Week 5.

    Chomzy won Head of House

    Chomzy became the first female Head of House for the Level Up season, and we absolutely loved to see it. She chose Eloswag as her deputy. And together, they were both exempted from the week’s nominations.

    Biggie put all the housemates up for eviction.

    After each person had nominated their preferred housemate to be up for eviction, Biggie announced that all housemates, except the Head of House and deputy, were up for possible eviction. 

    But immediately after, Ebuka announced to the viewers that the nominations were fake, and there was no need for any voting that week. Best in Littlefinger.

    While some ships are sailing, others are sinking

    With some new ships budding — e.g., Dotun has expressed his feelings for Daniella — other ships are sinking as quickly as they had started sailing; the Amaka and Giddyfia ship.  But the Shella ship stands firm, and the Phyna and Groovy ship seems to be waxing stronger. 

    Housemates fight over food

    Is it the big brother’s house if they don’t fight about food? The majority of the fights last week were because of food. Chizzy fought with Sheggz and Bella, while Bryan fought with Phyna and Amaka over kilishi. 

    Amaka almost burnt down the house

    In her defence, she had been trying to make meat pies when Biggie called all housemates to the garden, so she set the timer for 20 minutes. But when she returned to the house, it reeked of smoke and the microwave was damaged. In response to this act of carelessness, Biggie gave her a strict warning and forbade the housemates from using the new microwave.

    The housemates won their wager

    For their task, the housemates put up a show to showcase their locally made body butter and scrub, face mask, and lip scrub. Although Big brother said they could’ve done more with the number of housemates, he commended their effort regardless.

    Amaka got her first strike

    In line with the warning in the rule book, Amaka got her first strike for continuous microphone infringement.

    Chichi’s punishment got extended

    Biggie had asked Chichi to fill a notebook with the words: “I will never destroy the property of my fellow housemates”. Due to her failure to finish it in time, he added another notebook.

    Modella got evicted

    We expected a no eviction night, so when Ebuka had asked Modella to step forward, we were a bit surprised, but technically, she was never an actual housemate, so it makes sense. 

    We’re curious: QUIZ: What’s Your BBNaija Winning Strategy? 

  • Asides from English and Pidgin, what other languages do you know? Guess the language from both the statement and it’s translation.

  • Lagos was a getaway, somewhere to visit during school breaks. And because I lived and schooled in the south, I found the buzz of the city exciting. So, of course, it was my first option when I had to choose a place for my internship.

    I arrived in Lagos in 2017, bright-eyed and excited; ready to make money, meet new people and flex — all the things Lagos is known for. Even though I had no idea where I’d do my internship, I was in Lagos — they’re opportunities everywhere, right? 

    I didn’t realise people were twice the number of opportunities here. So two months into my search, I still hadn’t gotten a place. The only options I had so far were deep within the mainland while I was living with my uncle in Ajah. I was screwed.

    So although I had no prior work experience, I got a friend to write my CV, and I started to cold-email people. My uncle’s wife linked me with someone at a media company in Lekki, but the man said he wouldn’t pay an intern. 

    After entering Ajah to Lekki traffic for a week, I had to reset my brain and tell him I couldn’t continue. It didn’t make any sense to spend over three hours in traffic. Three hours was the time it took to travel from my school in Benin back home to Warri.

    After that, I was more particular about finding a place in Ajah or at least one willing to pay me for that traffic stress. When I got an offer to be an admin officer/personal assistant to the CEO of an engineering firm in Lekki, requiring me to come in only three times a week for a pay of ₦30k monthly, I grabbed it. 

    I didn’t care that I was a Mass Communication student who had no business in engineering. I just wanted an internship placement. 

    RELATED: The 10 Stages of Getting an Internship in Nigeria 

    My boss was amiable, and honestly, I didn’t really do anything. Still, it was one of the saddest periods of my life. I had to balance waking up by 5 a.m. to be at the office by 9 a.m., my uncle’s passive aggression, and barely having any friends; it was exhausting. 

    Then I noticed how noisy and crowded Lagos was. Surrounded by robots people in a hurry to get somewhere, I felt so alone. I missed my home, the “dryness” of Warri, the simplicity of Benin. So a few weeks after my school’s supervisor came to evaluate my work, I packed my bags and ran from Lagos. 

    I returned to school in Benin, where I didn’t have to struggle with leg-numbing traffic or exorbitant Bolt fares. Even though the bus drivers were also crazy, they didn’t pretend to have car trouble when they saw traffic. 

    RELATED: All The Struggles With Using Danfos In Lagos 

    The first time I experienced this was so wild. Ojota was the final stop, but this bus driver stopped at Maryland and did a whole act of trying to fix his broken car. He waited till we had all gotten down before he zoomed off. I didn’t even get it till the other passengers pointed it out. And, of course, I went on to experience this a couple more times. 

    After I’d convinced myself staying in Lagos for an extended period wasn’t for me, I got a job offer at an art gallery in November 2019 and started to flirt with the idea of returning. But unfortunately, I wasn’t done with my final year project.

    A few months after COVID hit in 2020, there was a nationwide lockdown. I love my parents, but I don’t think I’d ever want to be stuck with them for that long again. So when my sister visited in July, I didn’t even remember anything I said about Lagos. I was ready to leave with her. She’d gotten a place in Ikoyi — against most of the traffic — so she assured me this experience would be different. 

    And it was different. This time, I was in Lagos to wait for my NYSC, which would be in Abuja. I’d been to Abuja a couple of times. It was as colourful as Lagos, only quieter, so it was perfect. But when my call-up letter came out in November 2021, I was posted to Lagos. I wasn’t too disappointed, though. At least I wasn’t posted far North or to any state that’d take me two nights to reach.

    RELATED: 17 Pictures That Describe How You Feel When You Get Your NYSC Posting Letter 

    I strapped up for the journey. And that was when I really started my life in Lagos. I had new friends from camp, I lived on the other side of traffic, and I was with my sister. Life was good, cosplaying as a Lagosian.

    Two years later, there are still some things I can never get used to. You know the running joke about how Lagosians would throw a party to celebrate the success of a party. Well, it’s not a joke. While it’s become routine for weddings to have “after” parties, having one for a baby’s dedication or a one-year-old’s birthday is ridiculous. Because we all know it’s not really for the celebrant. 

    RELATED: 5 Annoying Types Of People You Find At Every Party 

    My sister and I live in Lekki now, and it’s not all that. Asides from the flood and exorbitant prices of everything, the tap water is also dirty. Imagine using sachet water to cook because the tap water looks grainy. In my father’s house, the tap water is good enough to drink. 

    Is it just me, or is it giving prodigal daughter?

    I also find it amusing how people automatically assume you have money because you live on the island. Yes, I’m side-eyeing all the artisans who’ve ever worked in our place. 

    But even though I’m plotting my escape every other day, I really enjoy the Lagos nightlife. Back in Warri, 8 p.m. was the latest I could be out, and it’s not just because I had a curfew or was scared of area boys. I just wasn’t used to it. Even in Benin, most shops closed around 10 p.m. 

    In Lagos? People are out 24/7. Out at the crack of dawn, back home in the early hours of the morning.

    When my mum was around in May, I’d gone out with a friend by 6 p.m., and she started to call me when I wasn’t back by 10 p.m. If only she knew last December, I’d gotten home alone at 2 a.m. because I attended a Wurld concert and wasn’t going to leave till he performed MAD. Sure, I was covering myself with the blood throughout the trip home, but I think I’ve come a long way. 

    Now, I have a different destination in mind. I hope to come back in a few years with updates on my abroad life.

    Here are some very important tips that make living in Lagos easy.

  • Are you really Nigerian if you’ve never had to visit your local government? And if you have, you’d understand how important it is to know who’s in charge. So here are some things every local government boss has.

    Potbelly

    “The bigger a man’s stomach, the more power he holds.” If you don’t believe it, just go to the local government first.

    Plastic food flask

    They always have a flask in their office for interns who take turns doing the amala runs.

    Related: 8 Things Nobody Tells You About Getting Your First Internship  

    An obsession with malt

    Malt is to local government bosses as kola nut is to the ancestors. So trust that if they decide to do their job help you, you’ll have to appreciate them with money for malt. Doing nothing gets exhausting, so we understand why they need the energy boost.

    “My dia”

    If you’re ever feeling neglected or lonely, just dress well, walk to the nearest local government office in your area carrying malt, and watch them my dear you to death. 

    A wristwatch that has stopped working

    You think they like coming to the office late, but in reality, they have no way to tell if it’s 9 a.m. or 2 p.m.

    Somewhere else to be

    They never fail to remind you that they have better things to do than attending to your complaints. 

    Prove you’re Nigerian by taking acing this quiz:  This Nigerian Government Quiz Is So Easy a Ghanaian Could Pass

  • When you finally blow, what narrative will you use as your marketing tactic? Take this quiz to find out.

  • With so many Asake hits trending now, you just have to love the guy. So let’s see how much of an Asake stan you really are at the end of this quiz.

  • Everyone knows you’re what you eat. This is why we can tell the state of your sex life from your soup preference.

    Egusi 

    Egusi goes with everything, and so do you. As king of the streets, your goal is a fun time, not a long time. Because of how funny and social you are, people are easily attracted to you. You’re also a big ashawo, who gets bored very quickly. That’s why you always end up in love triangles and situationships. 

    Something for you: The Ultimate Streets Starter Pack 

    Ogbono soup 

    Depending on the partner you’re with, you could be a sweet angel or a devil in the sheets. You’re a very passionate lover because you always listen to your partner’s needs and look up ways to spice up your sex life. 

    Pepper soup 

    Come on, do we even have to say it? You like whips, chains, plugs, whatever it is. You’re always down to try new things — the wilder, the better. And even though you try to deny it, you’re only in that toxic relationship because the sex bangs. 


    Efo riro

    You like to stand out. You’re super sexy and an easy 10/10. And because you’re so attractive, you’re often sexualised, which is super stressful cause now you can’t even tell who’s genuine and who just wants knacks. 

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    Oha 

    The problem is not that you don’t have game; you just don’t have the time or energy to chase anybody. So you have a few “friends” somewhere whom you call whenever you’re feeling horny. 

    Okro

    One minute you’re the bestie; next minute, you’re lying naked together in bed. You’ve been a sneaky link too many times to count. We just worry that your main partner may drag you on the internet soon. 

    Ewedu 

    We’re not saying you’re boring in bed; you just barely have any personality. You refuse to explore new or exciting stuff, have one partner and only enjoy vanilla sex. Okay, maybe, you’re a little boring, but at least you’re not bitterleaf soup.

    Bitterleaf soup

    Sex where? You’re on your own, no partner, no sex, no nothing. On cold nights, you turn to your Twitter because that’s all the action you can get. 

    Since you’re already here, you should take this quiz and we’ll give you a nickname in bed