• Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.


    Need to send or receive money fast? Let’s help you send and receive money internationally on the go. Use Afriex.

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    18 years, two companies, 10 different roles. It’s no wonder the subject on this week’s #NairaLife is looking forward to retiring at 45. His plan? Buy and lease a house in the UK and live off the rent money, then buy another. 

    Tell me about your earliest memory of money

    It’s receiving money from visitors and my mum collecting it to keep for me but never giving me back. I never even tried to ask. I also remember knowing very early in life that we were poor, but not as poor as we should’ve been. 

    Explain 

    I spent the first five years of my life in the UK. My parents had my sister in Nigeria, moved to the UK to work and go to school, had my brother, then me. At five years old, we moved back to Nigeria and that’s when I noticed things began to change. We didn’t have the freedom and luxury we had in the UK. We didn’t have a car or a generator, and we rationed food. 

    But my dad was building houses and schools. 

    I don’t understand

    He had a strange obsession with building. That’s where our family money was going. I’m sure we were meant to be above average financially. My dad had worked at the Central Bank of Nigeria, as a lecturer at a university, and at the Securities and Exchange Commission. So there was money; he just wanted to use all of it to build. 

    First, he built a school for himself. The building had two floors and was already much bigger than the capacity of the students he had. So, why did my dad decide to increase it to four floors? It’s been almost 35 years, and his school still uses only the ground floor. 

    Our house is a gigantic duplex. He’s the only one that lives there now. 

    He built another even bigger structure for a secondary school because of a rule that primary and secondary schools can’t be in the same building. It’s abandoned. 

    In Abuja, he built a bungalow and then, along the line, decided to turn it into a three-storey building. To the best of my knowledge, nobody has been there in 20 years. 

    Whoa. What about your mum?

    She supported him as best as she could. She was a trained teacher, so she became the administrator of the school. As early as age 10, when I finished primary school, I used to help teach younger children maths, english and verbal reasoning. In fact, I taught at intervals until I got my first job at 22.

    And what was your relationship with your siblings like? 

    I’ve always liked to be on my own. My siblings and I were never close. My dad always mentioned that our home didn’t feel like he had kids because nobody was running around and screaming. 

    We reacted to our upbringing differently. I couldn’t wait to become independent and leave them. My older brother was always a happy, sociable guy who didn’t mind. As for my older sister, well, one day in 1995, she took ₦125k from my parents’ wardrobe and disappeared for three years. She was about 18.

    Ehn?

    I wasn’t shaken by the experience because, like I said, I didn’t really care. We weren’t friends when she was around, so why should I care that she ran away? 

    What was your plan to leave home?

    I got into boarding house when I was 10 in 1991. Again, I noticed the difference between other kids and myself in little things like the quality of provisions. But at least I was away from home. 

    Secondary school also brought some changes. I don’t know why, but I began to do very badly in school. I went from being the most brilliant pupil in primary school to being average in junior secondary school and very bad in senior secondary school. It got so bad I had to repeat SS 1.

    In SS 2, I took GCE. But I realised I wouldn’t be ready to write SS 3 WAEC in a few months. Of course, I failed that GCE and WAEC, but I passed the next GCE. That one year of intense studying changed me again because I was one of the top students in my department from when I got into UNILAG in 1999 until the end. 

    What did you study? 

    Insurance. 

    Why?

    My mum had done some insurance work in the past and always had books lying around the house. I used to read them for fun as a kid. So I just thought, “Why not?”

    What were your finances like in uni?

    I got allowances from home that peaked at about ₦4k a month. That’s what I survived on.  My mum used to bring food for my older brother — I didn’t want — and she’d drop my money with him. I tried to make money, but the business failed catastrophically. 

    Tell me about it

    In 2001, my friend was starting a comic book business and needed some money to fund it. I gave him ₦5k. There was no gain from it, so I made a bad investment mistake. He was only interested in making the comics beautiful and high quality, but he wasn’t marketing them, so I joined his team to encourage them to market. I couldn’t do it myself because it wasn’t my strong point. 

    I sha kept pumping money into the business. In 2003, when I got my first salary at my first job, I gave it all to the business. It was ₦15k. When I still didn’t make any profit, I pulled out.

    What was this first job?

    It was a policy writing role at an insurance company. They poached me and five others right from university because we were top of the class. They wanted us to be the future of the company. 

    But the job was boring. Insurance is like medicine — you have to do things the exact way you learnt them in school. People used to bring textbooks to work. It was like I was back to doing school work. And to add to that, people began to give me their work when they saw I was good. 

    About 10 months into the job, NYSC posted me to Enugu, and I left. The company had tried to make me stay and serve under them in Lagos, but I needed a break. It meant I’d lose the job and opportunity to grow within the company, but I didn’t mind. 

    What did you do in Enugu?

    I was a teacher. It was the best year of my life. The school was meant to pay ₦500 monthly, but I don’t think they paid up to three times. I survived on NYSC’s monthly ₦7,500. And I could. It was a village that didn’t have electricity, water or network. I moved around on a bicycle and had to wash at the stream. The students brought fruits for me. There was no fast life, and nobody was rushing me anywhere. Again, best year of my life.

    LMAO

    When I returned to Lagos in 2005, my boss from the insurance company reached out to ask if I wanted a job outside the scheme they brought me in for earlier. I would have to compete and come in through the graduate trainee program. I wrote the exam, passed and got in. This time, the pay was ₦73k for the same role. 

    How long did you stay at the job?

    About four months. I let peer pressure get to me. Many of my mates were working in banks, so I decided to apply to a bank too. I got two offers. One was offering ₦1.3m gross per annum and the other, ₦650k. My salary at the time was ₦1.2m gross so I just took the first job. I got in as a transaction officer. 

    What was this one like?

    I stayed at the job for 10 years because my role changed nine times. I get bored easily, so a way to keep me is to make me do new stuff. I started as a transcation officer and ended up leading virtual channels such as eCommerce and Internet Banking. By the time I was leaving in 2016, my salary was ₦9.6m gross — ₦8.2m net. I left because I’d gotten to a mid-senior level where I was a specialist at many things. Many times, companies don’t promote people from positions like that — they leave them at the same level so they can keep doing plenty work. As someone with financial responsibilities to my wife and children, I needed to increase my earnings. 

    When did you get married?

    2009. I met my wife in 2008. 

    Tell me how marriage affected your relationship with money

    It made me understand the pressure my dad may have faced. But I had my own rules. Nobody forced me to marry or have children, so I would ensure that they enjoy life. 

    I was already living alone before my wife came into my life — I moved out of my parents house in 2007. So I was already paying rent. I pay the children’s school fees, drop 10% of my salary for feeding every month and get my wife gifts. My money is the family’s money, and even though she has a well-paying job too, her money is her money. It’s been like that since we got married, and nothing’s changed. 

    Where did you go after the bank?

    A fintech company. I’d been getting job offers and opportunities before I thought it was time to leave the bank, but I always turned them down. One of those opportunities was at this fintech. I went for the interview, and when they explained the role to me, I told them I didn’t want it. A year later, a business development role opened up, and I thought it was right for me, so I took it. 

    How much did it pay?

    It was slightly lower than my ₦9.6m bank salary, but because it was different, and my wife told me I could, I went for it. But it increased really quickly. By 2019, I was already on ₦19m a year and now, I’m on ₦42.5m a year. 

    What’s that in a month?

    It varies. It can be as low as ₦1.6m on some months and as high as ₦5.7m on some other months. There are bonuses and allowances in my contract that determine how much I get each month. 

    What’s that money doing for you?

    Life is in stages, and some things get more expensive as time goes on. For example, my children are in secondary school now, and I have to pay over ₦3m next month for their fees. I can afford it, and I’m grateful. 

    In the past few years, life has been easier. I have a car that’s bought, serviced and fueled by the company. I have enough money to travel, buy anything I want and spoil my wife. 

    From every salary, I pay bills, I give my wife a monthly stipend and money for the house, then save. My savings depend on how much I get, but it’s at least ₦750k every month. In a month when my salary is ₦5.7m, I save ₦4m. 

    What does that look like, broken down into expenses?

    I’ve documented every expense in a spreadsheet for the past five years. Here’s for last month’s ₦1.6m: 

    Every quarter, I give my wife ₦200k to restock the house with staple foods, but we still spend ₦155k on food monthly. 

    Do you invest your savings?

    All my savings are in mutual funds because I need to be able to easily have access to my money in case a business opportunity comes up. I have about ₦30m saved. It could be more, but I spent £35k on an MBA in 2021. I also have about ₦1m in MTN shares. I don’t have land in Nigeria because I’m not interested in building. 

    Do you think you’ll stay at this job much longer?

    Recently, I’ve been telling my friends, “I missed the mark of retiring at 40. Let’s see what 45 brings.”  I’m 41, and I’m exhausted. I want to retire. In the past couple of years, I’ve got job offers that pay 4x what I earn, but because it’s the same role, I don’t want them. If I’m going to leave here, it has to be for a different role, and maybe even in a different industry. I’ve done insurance, banking and tech. Maybe it’s health, construction or consulting that’s next. Who knows?

    How much do you need to retire?

    There’s no figure. It’s a question of how much I can have. Right now, my plan is to buy a house in the UK, where I’m a citizen, lease it and make my cool pounds monthly while I’m in Nigeria. After a few years of doing that, I’ll have enough to buy another house.

    Random: Does your dad still build houses?

    I don’t know. We’ve not spoken in three years. 

    What’s your financial happiness on a scale of 1-10?

    8.5.



    Need to send or receive money fast? Let’s help you send and receive money internationally on the go. Use Afriex.

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  • The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.


    This week’s subject on Abroad Life left Nigeria in search of a soft life, and although he had a rocky start in Ireland with the worst roommate ever, he’s beginning to enjoy his stay.

    Why did you decide to move abroad?

    You know when they say, “Cut your cloth according to your size”? They aren’t talking about me. I like to live an exquisite lifestyle, and thankfully, my older brothers funded that lifestyle for me when I was in Nigeria. I liked the idea of travelling and enjoying my life. Staying in Nigeria, earning in naira, wasn’t going to get me that lifestyle, so I had to move abroad where I could earn more money. 

    Did you travel growing up?

    I travelled during the holidays, yes. My parents didn’t like travelling so they’d just send my siblings and me abroad. I went to Dubai, India, the countries on the west coast of Africa, and Lebanon. As an adult, I’ve travelled to Dubai more times. So when I say I like travelling, believe me. 

    What is it about travelling you like?

    Getting to meet new people, experience new cultures and try new things, like paragliding and parasailing. Skydiving is on my bucket list, and I can’t skydive in Nigeria. 

    Why did you decide to move to Ireland?

    In 2019, I decided to move to Canada. I had a group chat with my friends who all wanted to move abroad for their master’s. But, omo, Canada wasn’t smiling. Everyone except one babe got admission, but all were denied their visas. When I got my own admission, I thought I was special, and they’d let me go. Nope. Denied. Something about not having a strong travel history and them not thinking I’d return. They weren’t wrong about the last part.

    The last babe eventually got admission and just bought her plane ticket and left because she’s a US citizen. 

    God when?

    Then I applied to schools in the US and Ireland. By early 2020, I got admission with 80% scholarship in two US schools. I paid for my visa on a Monday, for a visa interview on a Friday, but by Thursday, the embassy closed because of COVID. Frustrating as hell. 

    On the work side of things, I was also getting super irritated. COVID meant I was working remotely, and my employers were killing me with work. I worked seven days a week, man. It got so bad I decided to put my foot down one Saturday and say I wasn’t working. I ignored work calls and emails. These people sent me a query letter, saying I had to respond to the query the same day. I just texted my supervisor and said I wasn’t going to. 

    Omo 

    The only other available option was an Irish school that’d given me admission sometime in January 2020, so I decided to go for it. I already had friends in Ireland who were telling me to come, and they were still processing admissions and visa applications, so I just thought, “Why not?”

    What was the process like?

    I submitted my application, statement of purpose, results, birth certificate, and waited for their feedback. I didn’t have to do a physical interview. It took about a month — July to August 2020. The semester was meant to start in September, but I left in October because I had to attend my brother’s wedding. 

    So you missed classes?

    Nah. School was online throughout. 

    What was the point of travelling?

    I was looking for admission abroad as a means for japa. I also thought COVID was going to blow over at some point and I’d get my chance to attend physical classes. 

    Expectation vs reality: Ireland edition

    Ireland is not the UK. I expected it to look like the UK I see in films. But Cork, the city where I stay, is just so chill and green and beautiful. It’s way different from Lagos. No hustle and bustle. Again, I expected COVID to blow over pretty quickly, but I was stuck indoors for a while. My friends in Ireland are in Dublin so I thought I’d visit them a lot and party together. Nope. I was stuck with a roommate in the school hostel. My first flatmate was the worst I ever had. 

    How?

    The school paired me with a Nigerian; maybe they wanted us to vibe. I’m sure they had good intentions, but this guy was terrible. Right from when I entered the room and said hi, the way he looked at me was like I stole his babe. When I tried to laugh or joke with him, he’d just roll his eyes at me. But the final straw was when I stepped out to pick up a food order in the rain and forgot my key in the room. By the time I got back to the door, this guy looked at me standing and knocking in the rain and just walked away from my view.

    Ah 

    When he eventually opened the door, my only decision was to get in that room and beat him up, but people that’d been hearing me shout calmed me down. Thankfully, the hostels weren’t full, so I just requested a room change. But Nigeria was Nigeria-ing and my parents couldn’t send the money for the new room on time so I had to stay with him for about three more weeks. 

    I eventually transferred to a room with a Canadian, Korean and Palestine. They were super cool, and that’s how I started making friends. Lockdown eventually eased off, and we were able to hang out and meet new people. I also visited my friends in Dublin. 

    What’s your favourite part about living in Ireland

    Getting my job in September 2021.

    Tell me about it

    When I got here, I heard a lot about how difficult it is to get a job on a student visa, but I kept applying. Thankfully, a friend’s friend told me early enough I wasn’t getting any callbacks because my CV was trash, and I fixed it. 

    Amidst even more rejections, a company took me through multiple interviews until I got to a strange “legal interview” during which they asked about my nationality. Toward the end of the interview, they asked what type of visa I was on, and I told them it was a student visa. That was the end. But according to their LinkedIn, they had people on student visas working for them. I just think they didn’t hire me because I’m Nigerian. 

    That week, a friend told me they saw a job opening at one of the biggest companies in the world. First, I didn’t want to apply, but they convinced me to. Next thing, I got the job. 

    Whoop! Have you started your travelling and exquisite living?

    Of course! This summer alone, I’ve been to France, Monaco, London and Italy. I’m planning to go skiing in January and February, to the Netherlands in March and to the US in May. 

    How do you get these visas?

    The first visa I tried to apply for was a UK one. At first, I was scared to apply because of my Nigerian passport. I even wanted to put plenty of my mum’s money in my account so they wouldn’t think I was too broke to travel with the €500 in my own account, but my friends told me to just apply like that. And I got the visa. I also got a Schengen visa just by applying. I think once you live abroad and have a job, the Nigerian passport factor goes away. 

    Do you think you’re going to stay in Ireland?

    Yeah. The path to getting your passport is straightforward — you get a job to sponsor it, and within three to five years, you can apply for your permanent residency. One year after, you can get your passport. 

    What do you miss most about Nigeria?

    The food, man. I’m a terrible cook, so I miss Nigerian food. I also miss the people, but I can always FaceTime them. The nightlife too. Clubs close pretty early here and don’t always play Afrobeats.


    Want more Abroad Life? Check in every Friday at 9 A.M. (WAT) for a new episode. Until then, read every story of the series here.


    Hey there! My name is Sheriff and I’m the writer of Abroad Life. If you’re a Nigerian and you live or have lived abroad, I would love to talk to you about what that experience feels like and feature you on Abroad Life. All you need to do is fill out this short form, and I’ll be in contact.

  • As an Arsenal fan, it brings me great pleasure to write banter against United fans. They’ve had too much mouth for too long and it’s time someone shut them up. So with great pleasure, please go forth and banter Man United fans by saying these things around them. 

    Sir

    This’ll simply trigger their daddy issues as they remember their former boss, Sir Alex Ferguson, and the glory he brought (or bought, *wink wink*). Since he left, it’s just been pain upon pain. 

    Blue

    This’ll do nothing but remind them that their city, which was once fully red, is now completely blue. Tears everywhere. 

    Ten

    This one’ll remind them about their current boss, Erik Ten Hag. Many of them hate him and want him out already. 

    Win

    Manchester United is scared of winning. Don’t say this word around them. 

    Plastic

    This feels like a personal attack on them. How can you use the word plastic? That word is only reserved for Man United fans. 

    Maguire

    Captain. Leader. Legend. Anything your eyes see after you mention this word, take it like that. 

    Glaze

    We won’t warn you not to say this one, but just walk up to a United fan and say, “I think the Glazers should stay.” Please give us feedback (If you’re still alive).

    Also, don’t send them these tweets

    And by this, I mean you should absolutely send them these tweets. 


    This Quiz Knows the Football Club You Support

  • Let me paint a picture; It’s night, and there’s crazy traffic because of road construction. You’ve been driving from Ogbomoso for the last five hours and you’re tired as fuck. You enter a new lane, and immediately traffic moves just a few meters, the person behind you begins to flash their lights and honk like a possessed person. It’s not once or twice. It’s every single time the traffic moves. And it’s not because you’re not moving on time; they’re just trying to alert you that traffic is moving. 

    You eventually move to a new lane and meet another person doing the same thing, but even worse. You’re in your car screaming, looking back, wondering if you can just get out of your car and go and tell them their lights are blinding you and giving you a headache. They flash again. You want to fight but remember you’re a small-statured person who will be beaten by just about anyone. You stay in your car and scream internally. 

    You eventually leave the lane for the last 30 minutes of the traffic, but when you get to Lagos, you meet more traffic. Guess who’s behind you? Mr. Aggressive Flasher. 

    Guys, don’t be like me. Get down and fight. In fact, get out of your car and fight anyone who does any of these X things. 

    Flashing

    Before this becomes an endless, annoying trend that drives us all mad, please let’s kill it with violence. It was me a few days ago; it could be you tomorrow. 

    Honking for no reason

    Why don’t people understand that noise is bad? Why are people blasting their horns just because they want to? For this, there is only one answer: violence. Break their windshield. Cut their brakes. Bash them from the back. Bring out koboko and flog them. Do something. 

    Littering 

    I don’t need to say too much about this one. There’s absolutely no reason why anyone should finish eating in a car and decide that the road is the best place to dump their refuse. Nope. 

    Starers

    Obviously, they’re looking at you because they want to fight. What could be a different reason?

    Danfo drivers simply need to be fought

    You don’t need to catch them doing something bad to know they’re doing bad things. Every time you have the opportunity, please fight a danfo driver. Do it for the rest of us. 


    You may find this useful – 8 Things to Carry in Your Car When Driving in Lagos

  • Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.

    Need to send or receive money fast? Let’s help you send and receive money internationally on the go. Use Afriex.


    The 25-year-old on this week’s #NairaLife works as a guidance counsellor at his parents’ school for ₦100k a month. But before that, he did a lot for money, including selling pure water, thrifting clothes and fraud.

    What’s your earliest memory of money?

    The ₦1k popsi gave me for an excursion in JSS 1. I was about 10 or 11 then. Before that, I only got money on Sundays to put in the offering basket at church. 

    Basically, my parents were strict with money. 

    Do you know why?

    Because we had everything we needed. My life was home—school—church. My parents owned the primary and secondary school I went to, and we lived close to it, so there was no need for them to give me transport fare. Whenever we went for excursions — local or international — I was with my parents, so I got gifts not cash. The school served food every break time, and I could take ₦50 worth of snacks from the tuck shop every day. I had no need for money. 

    After the JSS 1 ₦1k, I started getting money during school trips. Some rands in South Africa, cedis in Ghana and dollars in the US. The highest I ever got was $100 in SS 1. In SS 1, I also moved to boarding school because most of my friends were there, and I got the school “cheque book” money. I finished it on snacks every term until I graduated.

    Did you get an allowance in university?

    I didn’t go to uni until 2017, two years after I finished secondary school.

    Why?

    The simple truth — my parents didn’t want me to travel abroad for uni so they stalled until I just went to a Nigerian university.

    What did you do?

    I’m what you’d call a child with a coconut head. I was always getting into trouble in school, and they didn’t want me to go abroad and disgrace them. 

    My three older siblings went abroad immediately after secondary school and are still there now, so it was only natural I went. 

    First, they made me write Cambridge and TOEFL exams, then they made me get my transcripts, then the waiting started. While I was waiting, they suggested I worked in their school so I wasn’t idle. 

    Work as what?

    An auditor of some sort. They taught me how to balance accounts, send bills to parents and sell books in the bookshop. 

    I started in September 2015 and worked for free until January 2016 when they moved me to the boarding school to be receptionist, balancer of books, assistant hostel master and night prep teacher. That’s when they started paying me ₦10k monthly. My father said it was ₦10k because the school was already housing and feeding me, and I was doing it for the experience. At some point, I became a Primary 6 class teacher teaching every subject. 

    Did the money ever increase?

    Nah. That’s all the money I made for the two years before university. Well, except for the times I made money from dogs.

    Tell me about it

    We had two imported pure-bred dogs people want to mate their dogs with. 

    I reached out to people to say I wanted to help them mate their dogs for money. My major client was my vet who would tell me the female dog miscarried or the puppies died at birth. This happened so many times that I’m sure he was lying so he wouldn’t have to give me the puppy or share the money he got from selling it. I eventually got two clients by myself whose dogs gave birth, and I got a puppy each. The first one, I sold at ₦15k and gave my dad the money. The second, I sold for ₦25k and kept the money.

    I’m pretty sure dogs aren’t that cheap

    LMAO. They’re not. Especially since they were quality pups. I was just desperate for money and willing to sell at any price. 

    So, university?

    Yes, but let’s talk about when I ran away from home first. 

    It was two months before I was going to resume at the Nigerian private university, and it hit me again my parents had finessed me out of studying abroad. I was irritated. One night, I went out, and for the first time, I didn’t return home until 4 a.m. I’d never even gone out at night before, talkless of not returning home the same day. 

    When I got home, the gateman let me into the compound, but my dad didn’t let me into the house until late in the evening. Me, I was kuku looking for an opportunity to rebel before. I just packed my clothes and went to stay with a friend in UNILAG. 

    For how long?

    One month. She took care of me throughout. Also, I met a guy who would eventually become my business partner. 

    It sha took an uncle to bring me back home. 

    What did you study in school?

    I got admitted to study biology, but the time I spent as a teacher and school administrator made me realise I actually wanted to be a counsellor, so I could guide people, especially children. I got a change of course form to study guidance and counselling psychology instead. But in my school, you can’t study education alone, so I chose a minor in biology. 

    What was uni like?

    Omo, I balled. Remember my business partner guy? He sold thrift sportswear to me when I was shopping for school. He told me he was looking to sell to private school students too. So I took a ₦50k loan from my dad and bought sports gear from him at far cheaper than his retail price. I’d also spent ₦30k on clothes for myself before uni. I added all of it and sold them to students in my school. 

    If I bought something for ₦2k, I sold it for ₦6k. Every Sunday, I was at the sports centre selling clothes and yoga mats. In hostels, I went from room to room. I sold out so fast. 

    I got only guys’ sportswear at first, but I learnt quickly that women are the best customers. Guys would haggle, owe me, and after some time, just say, “My guy, fashi the money.” But women paid. So I got more stuff for women. 

    I also sold pure water one semester. 

    How?

    Pure water in the kiosks near the hostels was ₦200 per bag, but ₦90 per bag at the on-campus mall. I got a keke rider to help me bring bags from the mall to the hostels and sold from room to room at ₦200. At least, they didn’t have to go outside to the kiosk to buy water.

    Did you receive an allowance from home?

    Yes. During my first year, it was ₦5k monthly. ₦10k during my second year. But I didn’t need the money. I just used it to buy favours. I spent ₦5k – ₦10k a month on drinks for security guards, credit for cleaners and the cafeteria staff, so you can be sure I got favours all the time. For example, I never had to line up for food.

    Hmm… 

    Another way I balled was by scamming my parents. 

    Sir?

    A lot of people in my school did it. We found a way to tamper with fees, so I added like ₦300k to it. Till today, my parents don’t know. 

    Wait, every year?

    Nah. Just in my second and third year.

    What did you use all the money for?

    Nothing sensible. First of all, my guys and I ate well. Then I checked out of school early after semesters ended to rent guest houses with my guys and host parties with babes. Just stupid stuff like that. New phones too. 

    Maybe it’s because everyone was doing it, but I didn’t feel bad about it. 

    What happened next?

    I carried over a semester. After my final semester in April 2021, I had to take an extra one because I missed a full semester’s exams in my second year.  

    How do you miss an entire semester’s exams?

    I was sad. Talk of the entire family moving to Canada came up that year. We even did medicals. Eventually, it fell through. But when the subject of my university education came up, my dad said even if they relocated, I wouldn’t move with them. That’s when he came clean that he couldn’t let me go abroad for school. 

    Between being sad and angry, I decided not to write exams that semester and got all Fs. When I showed my dad the results and told him it was because I was depressed, his response was, “Kini depression?” He got angrier and promised me there was no chance I was going abroad. 

    I just accepted my fate and continued school. 

    Mad. What does an extra semester after graduating feel like?

    It was embarrasing. I didn’t stay on campus because I didn’t want to have to tell people why I was still around. So I stayed with a friend in a hotel near school for ₦2k a night. She paid ₦1k; I paid ₦1k. Most of my classes were online so I didn’t have to go to campus often.

    My fees for that semester was about ₦500k. I paid ₦300k before the semester started. The remaining ₦200k was still with me by June when a cousin convinced me to use it to play sports betting. 

    Uh-oh

    First, we played the ₦200k and won ₦430k. Then I used ₦150k to play another game. I lost it. So obviously, I had to try again with the remaining money, and I lost everything. 

    What did you do?

    I left school and went to my uncle’s house to panic and think about my life. Where would I see ₦200k? I stayed there so long, he called my mum to tell her I wasn’t in school. She asked him to kick me out. 

    A couple of days before I left his house, a childhood friend reached out to me out of the blue to say hi. In my vulnerable state, I told him everything I was going through, and he invited me to stay with him. 

    When I got to his place, he told me how he made his living — fraud. 

    This guy

    He stayed with his friend who also did fraud, and in that house, they had four boys they were training in fraud. He didn’t live a flashy life. He just used his fraud money to plan out his life. He was even processing japa plans. He had the ₦200k to give me, but he said he wanted me to make it myself. 

    Through fraud? 

    Yep. So he taught me how to create a clone celebrity account to scam people. 

    Verification badge and all?

    Nah. The scope was to tell people I was the celebrity, but I didn’t want to chat with my real account because I just wanted to have a lowkey conversation with my real fans. It’s not hard to follow what celebrities are doing on social media. I could easily track where they were, what they were doing, and use it in conversations. 

    Plus, I’m a psychologist. I know how to talk to people.  

    How long did you do this for? 

    One month. I made ₦1.3m from the one person I successfully scammed. She was a woman in her late 50s. I took ₦500k and gave my guy the rest of the money. I didn’t really want it.

    How did you feel about it?

    Guy, I felt terrible. I couldn’t sleep. I had to keep getting high to escape reality. I paid my school fees, fixed my car and kept the rest. 

    Think you’re going to do it again?

    Oh no. Never. Never ever. 

    What did you do after university?

    Since November 2021, I’ve worked at my parents’ school as a guidance counsellor. 

    What’s that like?

    I’m enjoying it. Sometimes, it’s challenging because I’m working with my former teachers, and we’re at each other’s throats on how to handle the students. They want to be harsh and flog students. I don’t agree. 

    How much do you earn?

    ₦100k per month. 

    How do you spend it in a month? 

    What debt?

    In 2020, I bought my mum’s old car for ₦1.2m with a loan from the microfinance bank the family and school use. The bank removes ₦50k from my salary every month. 

    Gotcha. What are your plans for the future?

    I’m trying to go abroad for a master’s in either sports psychology, child psychology or guidance and counselling. I’m already saving towards it. I currently have ₦160k.

    When do you think you’d have enough money?

    My target is next year. I plan to go to a European country where tuition is cheap. With ₦5m, I should be able to sort everything out. That’s flight tickets plus full tuition and accommodation. I’ll take another loan when I finish paying this one and pay back gradually when I start working abroad. 

    What’s something you want but can’t afford right now?

    Almost everything. All I have money for is feeding and repairing my car. Maybe I’ll do Uber with it when I finish fixing it.  

    But I’m thankful for my babe. We’ve been dating for three months and she buys data for me and sends money every single time I’m stranded. 

    How would you rate your financial happiness on a scale of 1-10?

    If my babe was not in my life, it would be a 3. But she’s here. I have data, I live with my parents, I’m not hungry, so it’s a 9. I’m sure this is a phase and it’ll pass.


    Need to send or receive money fast? Let’s help you send and receive money internationally on the go. Use Afriex.


  • The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.


    This week’s subject on Abroad Life left Nigeria for the US in 2014. Last year, she moved to Canada. Why? The US has too much immigration wahala. She thinks more Nigerians should come to Canada because “things work” there.

    When did you leave Nigeria?

    Eight years ago, in July 2014. 

    That’s a long time ago. Why did you leave?

    My parents wanted me to. I was already in my first year at Afe Babalola University, but they thought it’d be great to send me abroad instead. I saw a chance to leave Nigeria, so of course I took it 

    Was the US the only option?

    For my parents, yes. For me, nope. I wanted to go to Hungary or Ukraine because that’s where people from my class in secondary school were going.

    Expectation vs reality: US edition

    First, I expected it to be colder. But I got there in the summer and visited my aunt who lived in California first, so it was definitely not cold. Also, I expected to find it hard to fit in because I was new. Imagine a 17-year-old moving to a new country on her own. But I found that people were nice, and I made friends easily. 

    Generally though, I didn’t have too many expectations. 

    I’d imagine moving at 17 was scary

    Oh, it was. But thankfully, I’d been in boarding school since I was 10, so I was used to being away from my parents. Also, being away from home gave me a new-found sense of freedom I couldn’t get when I was in Nigeria, under the wings of my parents, especially my dad. 

    What did you do with your new-found freedom?

    I just went to parties. That’s it. My home training didn’t allow me go too far. 

    So settling was easy for you?

    I’m thankful for one thing, and that’s the two friends I made on the second and third day of school in Arkansas. They’re Rwandan and Congolese respectively, and they were my close friends throughout university. I’m still really close with one of them. 

    I’m grateful because many people don’t make friends that early and end up struggling with things like loneliness and even depression. Also, it was the beginning of me having only African friends throughout my three-year stay in Arkansas. 

    It’s giving racist

    When you stay in a very white city in Arkansas, you encounter a lot of racism. It’s not the violent kind, but you notice an air around the white people like they think they’re better than you. They’re nice, but only from afar. There are also comments they make that just make you go, “What?”

    Give an example

    I can never forget this one. So on my third day in school, I was in the kitchen area, warming up some food, when a white student walked up to me to say hi. As the conversation went on, he asked where I was from, and I told him “Nigeria”. He said, “Oh, so your father must be the president then.” And when I said no, he said, “Oh, so vice president?” When I said no again, he just said okay and left. It’s like he was surprised a “regular” Nigerian could afford to send their kid to the US for school. 

    What of the Black Americans?

    They have a thing where they act like they’re better than Africans. I remember one condescendingly telling me, “Oh, your accent is so thick and African”. I just kept them at arm’s length and rolled with my fellow Africans. 

    When I graduated and moved to California, which is more diverse than Arkansas, I made some Asian-American and white friends who were more open-minded. But still, no African Americans. 

    Why did you move to California?

    For work. The initial plan was to study medicine after biology because in the US, you need a bachelor’s before you can study medicine. But med school fees were looking scary so I just decided to work and chase a Green Card instead.

    Have you got it?

    Nope. Immigration in the US is tough. I had to leave because I ran out of time and legal options, and refused to marry anyone for papers, real or arrangée. I moved to Canada in June 2021. 

    Have you been back in Nigeria ever since?

    Only in 2016. My mum and siblings have all come to visit since I got here, but I haven’t seen my dad since 2016. I miss him.

    Why’s he never visited?

    I have no idea. He even got an American visit visa but never came. I want to visit Nigeria this December but these flight prices dey choke. 

    What’s the plan with Canada now?

    I’m currently in nursing school, and I graduate in October next year. After two years, I can apply for permanent residency (PR) myself. That’s the plan. In the US, I would’ve had to find a job with a company willing to apply for on my behalf, and it’s a lottery, which makes it difficult to know how long it takes.  

    Canada vs America

    For immigration, Canada is better. Healthcare, Canada wins. Safety, Canada wins. The people here are also much nicer. But for taxes, the US wins. They can finish you with taxes in this Canada. As a working-class person, it’s difficult to become rich off your salary because of how much you’re taxed. But I like to think about it like this; healthcare is free, so why not? 

    How do you qualify for free healthcare?

    I have no idea. I think it’s a province-by-province thing. I live in Alberta, and healthcare is free here for students. But I don’t think it applies to students in Ontario. 

    You spoke about taxes. Do you have a job?

    Unlike in the US, international students in Canada can work outside the school campus. So I work at a hospital, babysit and work in disability support. I get taxed for all three jobs, but I’ll get all the money back in December because my annual income is too low to fall within a tax bracket.

    What’s your social life like?

    Pretty great. I decided to move to Alberta because a close friend from secondary school moved and has lived here since 2013. We reconnected, and she’s introduced me to her Nigerian friends. Oh, and yes, there are a lot of Nigerians in Canada! I absolutely love it. 

    What do you miss most about Nigeria?

    The food. Even when we cook Nigerian food here, it doesn’t taste the same. 

    What do you hate most about being in Canada?

    Uhm… Just the fact that I’m a student. I can’t wait to graduate and get my PR. I went from studying biology in the US to hustling for Green Card for three years to moving here for school again. I can’t wait to finally finish and settle. 

    Yeah —

    Oh wait! Canada is also bloody expensive compared to America. Food, petrol, everything. Expensive. 

    Do you think more Nigerians should move to Canada?

    Absolutely. I have friends who moved here in 2018, got their PR in 2021 and bought a house this year [2022]. If you’re a hard worker, the system will work for you. They’ll tax you plenty of money, but at least you know you have healthcare, safety, you can buy a house, and just have a decent family life.


    Want more Abroad Life? Check in every Friday at 9 A.M. (WAT) for a new episode. Until then, read every story of the series here.


    Hey there! My name is Sheriff and I’m the writer of Abroad Life. If you’re a Nigerian and you live or have lived abroad, I would love to talk to you about what that experience feels like and feature you on Abroad Life. All you need to do is fill out this short form, and I’ll be in contact.

  • Everyone does office romance. I do it; you do it; we all do it. But not all of us are doing it right and many times, it ends in premium tears. 

    How can you engage in office romance and not end up in tears? Follow these rules. 

    Don’t date someone in finance

    You want to date someone that knows your salary? That’s never a good idea, please. Does your real partner even know your salary? Imagine fighting with your work partner and you hear, “Please get out. You that are still managing the ₦80k we’re giving you, you’re talking.”

    Don’t date an intern

    Just to avoid things like this, steer clear of interns. Especially if you don’t like insort. 

    Never invite your actual partner to an office party

    You can go and get drunk and mistakenly slap Bola from marketing’s ass in front of your wife of 13 years. What is the explanation there?

    Date HR. You’ll never get fired.

    This is your immunity against getting fired. You can do anything you want to anyone, and if they report you to HR, HR will just say sorry. In fact, let me text my own HR now.


    You might also like: 4 Nigerians Tell Us What It Is Like Dating a Co-Worker


    You know what? Date the intern

    It’s not hard. They’re still interns. Small mess up and you can just report them to HR as not being culture fit. Next thing, termination letter. 

    No pet names, please

    You don’t want to be on a client call and say, “Oh let me just loop my hun bun in on this.” 

    The CEO is not off limits

    Even if they’re married, your aim should be to scatter it. They didn’t send you to work to make friends or to preserve someone else’s marriage. You’re there to get ahead in life. Do it by whatever means necessary.


    Also read: All the Things That Happen When Your Boyfriend Is Your Boss

  • Yes, I was the one that used my hands to write this article about why goats are better pets than cats and dogs. I’m sorry. I hadn’t experienced, truly, what goats are. See, if someone calls you a goat, just drop everything you’re doing and fight them right there. 

    I have seven goats; Gbenga, Yetunde, Dupe, Ireti, Astor, Ruka and Ifoghale, and they’re all stubborn. Well, maybe not Ruka and Ifoghale yet, as those once were born just five days ago. 

    So, just as I wrote about why goats are the best thing since sliced bread, these are the reasons why they are absolutely devil-sent. 

    They will pee and poop everywhere

    Everywhere. They poop as they walk. It’s crazy. It’s like they always have to poop every second of the day. Poop. Do you know how much poop sweeping you have to do when you have goats? Poop. A lot. Poop. And they don’t care where they’re pooping. Is it on your domot? Poop. 

    They’ll climb everything

    Personally, I think goats have it in the back of their minds to climb everything they see. They’re like, “Hmm… this looks tall and complicated. I must climb it.” I built a fish pond in my farm recently and had to build a fence of sorts around it because the goats saw the top of the pond as their new mattress. The climbed it and guess what? Pooped right in it. 

    Imagine having to spend an extra ₦20k because Gbenga cannot sit down in one place. 


    You might like: 13 Ways to Know When Your Pet Has Become Possessed


    If you have decorative plants, your goats will eat them

    Yes, I know I said their poop serves as manure, but to which plants? If you have any plants you keep outside, just forget about them. My compound used to be lush and beautiful with different types of decorative plants. But whenever we let the goats in like this, whatever growth the plants managed to do in the period they were not around is gone. 

    They’re wicked

    Let me tell you something. Goats are wicked. They’re wicked to their owners and they’re wicked to other goats. Remember I said Ruka and Ifoghale were born a few days ago? Please tell me why the other goats are already fighting them. All goats do is fight and bully one another. Why? 

    They dont hear word

    Yetunde come down from there! 

    Three minutes later: Yetunde is there again. 


    Also read: 8 Innocent Animals That Nigerians Have Demonised

  • What would a world where Nigerian musicians were practising therapists be like?

    Don’t think about it to much. We know. 

    Portable

    First of all, as you’re going to meet him for advice, anything your eyes see, take it like that. Apart from the fact that he can misguide you so bad that your life would be worse than when you first met him, your entire business would also be in the public. Once you miss Portable’s payment like this, he’ll go on IG live to tell everyone about your childhood trauma, abandonment issues and serial infidelity. 

    Asa

    Expensive as hell, but the thing is, after one therapy session, no matter how fucked up your issues are, this woman will fix you. But you won’t admit it because you want to keep spending time with her because you love her a bit too much.

    (I think I might have gone a little too personal there. Sorry, guys.)

    Wizkid

    This man is good at his job, but he never has his own advice to give you. It’s always what someone else tells him that he’d come back and tell you.

    Asake

    While you’re telling Asake your secrets, he’ll interrupt you halfway to ask if he can add you to his group of choral backup singers. Next thing, you’re in the studio with 15 other patients shouting “Emiliano rora” at the top of your voice.

    Ayra Starr

    If you’re not Gen-Z, please don’t even bother booking a therapy session with Ayra Starr. Do you know the meaning of periodt? Or Purrr? This is the vocabulary you’re going to meet there, so just save yourself the extra headache. Before you go there sad and leave confused. 


    Are you Gen Z? Here are the Biggest Nigerian Songs From the Year You Were Born


    Burna Boy

    Burna Boy will talk about himself 90% of the time, and you need to be careful not to interrupt the African Giant, or request that he pays attention to your own issues. But when he finally advises you, it’s, “You need igbo and shayo.” Simple. 

    Tems

    After spending hours telling Tems all your issues in life, all you’ll get is, “Crazy things are happening.” But her beauty will heal you, so win win. 

    Kizz Daniel

    You’ve heard from everyone that he’s a great therapist, but after you pay and arrive at his office, he’ll tell his receptionist to tell you he’s not around. 

    Davido

    He’s the therapist with all the good vibes. He may mistakenly broke-shame you multiple times sha. 

    Tope Alabi

    After all your talk, Tope Alabi will have just one question — “Have you tried Jesus?” And if you stay a bit longer, a deliverance session will start. 


    Also read: If Nigerian Musicians Had Side Hustles, What Would They Do?

  • Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.

    Need to send or receive money fast? Let’s help you send and receive money internationally on the go. Use Afriex.


    By 2019, this 23-year-old Naira Life subject didn’t know what to do with her life. Then she met a friend who told her to try UI/UX design. Four jobs later, she’s managed $65k a year. She thinks it would be more if she weren’t such a bad negotiator.  

    What’s your earliest memory of money?

    I know when my friends in school would get picked up in cars, I took bikes or buses home, so that means we weren’t as rich as other people. But I also know we weren’t poor poor. I mean, I got chased out of class because of school fees debts, but I never starved.

    What did your parents do?

    My mum is a local government worker, caterer and owns a provisions shop. I’m her only child, and my dad isn’t in the picture. 

    Divorce? 

    They were never married. He visited from time to time and gave me money when he came. It was even through an aunt I found out he had his own wife and children who are way older than me. 

    I met his children in secondary school — when I started going to his office to say hi. 

    My mum eventually got married in 2014. 

    Sweet

    Do you want to hear how I found out?

    Found out?

    I was 15 and in SS 3 in boarding school when she came to my school for PTA. The principal had called a parents meeting to report my set for being the worst SS 3 set ever. 

    After the meeting, I was going through her phone and next thing, I saw pictures of her in a wedding gown. Ehn? When I confronted her, her response was, “But you were in school. How did you expect me to tell you? Or did you want me to come and pick you up for the wedding?”

    Wow

    Fear Nigerian women. 

    Did you know the man?

    Yes. They’d been friends for a while. After I finished school, we moved to his house. He already had three children from an earlier marriage; one older than me and two younger. 

    Tell me what that change felt like

    I’m shy around adults so me and my step-dad didn’t really have a deep relationship. It’s a not-so-close-to-your-parents-but-you-still-talk kind relationship. He scolded me a few times when my mum was angry at me, but nothing too over the top. When I got into university that year, he gave me money on most weeks. Like ₦5k. 

    Is that all you survived on?

    My dad also gave me ₦10k monthly. I went to Ekiti State University which was like 30 minutes away from home so I would go home to get foodstuff when I ran out. My mum gave me an occasional stipend too. 

    What did you study?

    Microbiology. 

    You wanted a career in Microbiology?

    Nope. It’s just what I studied. Throughout university, I was worried about my prospects in life because people in school kept talking about how difficult it was to get a good-paying job with a microbiology degree in Nigeria. My plan was to do a master’s in public health to increase my value and chances. 

    In fact, after I graduated in 2019 and was waiting for NYSC, I started learning fashion design just so I could do something before I got a job. But I couldn’t be consistent because I had to stay in my mum’s shop too. She paid me like ₦5k every other week. I eventually didn’t learn any fashion design before I got posted to Ogun state for NYSC. 

    Where did you work?

    A haulage company. I was the front desk receptionist. The pay was ₦15k, NYSC paid ₦33k, and I got an extra ₦2k every week from my boss just because he was a nice guy. He never tried anything inappropriate, and I appreciated that. I spent ₦400 daily on transportation and stayed in an apartment my parents rented for me. So it wasn’t difficult managing the salary. 

    That same year, I met a software developer on Twitter and we became friends. When I told him I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, he advised me to learn UI/UX design and sent me materials and YouTube videos. I had a laptop then so I began to practice. Whenever I did a design, I showed him and he told me what he thought about it and how I could be better. Then I joined online design communities too and made friends. I sha took it very seriously because I was scared of poverty and saw it as an avenue to make good money. 

    And you got better?

    Yep. Four months into NYSC, in March 2020, COVID happened and I had to go home. I spent the entire time designing and posting my work on Twitter and LinkedIn. I was in front of my laptop everywhere, even when I was in my mum’s shop. 

    In fact, my mum had problems with it. First, it was that people thought I was doing yahoo yahoo. Next, it was that I never came out of my room to spend time with the family. I told her I was learning design, but she just didn’t understand. 

    By July, I got my first design job. 

    How?

    They reached out to me on Twitter because they saw my work. I was back in Ogun state by this time, so I was working more. It’s probably a great time to say I’m not a good negotiator because tell me why they offered me ₦80k and I said I wanted ₦150k instead, but immediately they said ₦120k, I jumped at it.

    LMAO

    But it was good money for me at the time. I could even send money to my mum and siblings from time to time. They paid biweekly. 

    A few months later, a Senegalese design agency opening a branch in Lagos reached out on LinkedIn to hire me. The pay was ₦200k, and it was a hybrid role. I didn’t have to be in Ogun state for NYSC anymore because of COVID. NYSC had told corpers to return home since COVID started and I wasn’t doing the receptionist job anymore. I was just staying in Ogun state. So I asked my mum if I could move to Lagos to take the job. I lied to her that the pay would be ₦120k. This woman told me she wanted to pray about it and then said her pastor said I shouldn’t take the job. I was sad, and my friends were telling me to just move regardless, but I don’t like wahala so I just accepted my fate. 

    Ouch

    In September 2020, another design company reached out to me on Twitter saying they wanted to hire me. This time, I was determined to move no matter what, so I created a fake ₦150k job offer that said I had to be in Lagos and showed my mum. Again, she said she had to pray and ask her pastor, but I’d decided in my heart to move no matter what the pastor said. 

    What did the pastor say?

    He said I could go. 

    Where were you going to stay?

    My mum asked this same question, and I already had all the answers. There was a hostel my friend told me about. It cost ₦170k for six months. That’s where I stayed. 

    I finally got the job in October 2020. It paid ₦120k, and it was hybrid — in-person Mondays to Wednesdays, remote on Thursdays and Fridays. I combined it with my other ₦120k job but quit the fully remote one after a month because I couldn’t cope.  

    Why that one?

    The design agency in Lagos had more clout. People respected them and they had a great portfolio so I wanted to benefit from that. But I eventually only stayed there for six months. 

    Why?

    Omo, it was toxic as hell. Well, one person — the design lead — was toxic, and it made work difficult for me. He had a history of being mean to people, as I later got to find out. People shared stories with me about how he made them cry because of the way he spoke. 

    As time went on, he started speaking badly to me too. His method of giving feedback was so condescending. On Figma — an app UI designers use — there’s a part of the screen that shows when someone else is on the document you’re currently working on. I put black tape over it because whenever he was on the doc with me, I had panic attacks, so I’d rather just not know. On Mondays to Wednesdays, when I had to go to the office, the first thing I did in the morning was cry. 

    Omo x1000

    It was terrible. But I’d already been applying for jobs and speaking to friends months before I left. I eventually got one from a friend who worked for a remote company that had one designer and was looking for another. The job interview process wasn’t so long. They saw my work and just asked me to hop on a call and that was it. 

    When it was time to talk about pay, they offered $750 monthly and I said I wanted $1k. The interviewer said he wanted to pay a naira round figure so he offered me $1050. I took it. 

    How much was that in naira?

    Between ₦450k and ₦500k. 

    Fundsss

    Yes o. I started saving and sending money to everyone — my mum, dad, step-dad, mum’s mum, step-dad’s mum, cousins and siblings. I also moved out of the hostel and got a small self-contained room. 

    How did mumsi react to you sending money?

    She was happy, but she also used to say stuff like, “Hope you’re saving o!” And if she asked me for money and I said I didn’t have, “What are you even using your money for?”

    How long were you at that job?

    I started in March and left in November 2021. Six months into the job, I asked for a raise because I realised I was doing all the work on the design team. First of all, working in the toxic place had made me a very fast worker, so I met deadlines very quickly and then did more. The other person on the design team was hardly available. They increased my salary to $1500 and that’s how much I earned till I left. 

    Why did you leave?

    I knew I could get more money elsewhere. And I wasn’t challenged. They were accepting everything I was doing without question or asking for improvement. While there, I applied for hundreds of jobs and got L’s. But I finally got an interview in November 2021 — an interview in six stages. 

    What were the stages?

    The first was a “Let’s get to know you” with the CTO. I was asked technical questions in the second. At the third, I joined the company’s weekly show-and-tell meeting where the designers talked about what they’d worked on. I had to sign an NDA before joining. Then, I met with a co-founder, another co-founder, and finally, with the lead engineer. 

    How much did they offer after that many meetings?

    $65k yearly. It’s a UI/UX designer role. That’s a little over $5,400 a month paid in biweekly installments. That’s like ₦3m a month depending on the exchange rates. I didn’t even bargain. If you see the way I jumped on it. I regret that now sha. I definitely should’ve asked for more. If that was their first offer, I’m sure they could’ve offered more.  

    Probably. ₦3m a month isn’t bad though

    No, it’s not. Now, I have a mini-flat and I’m just a baby girl. 

    What does that look like in monthly expenses? 

    The rest stays in dollars as savings. 

    And what does that look like?

    My core savings is at $17k now. I invested $2k in crypto, but it has tanked. I also have like $400 in another savings account.

    Do you think you’ll leave this job soon?

    No, I want to stay for at least a year for my CV. It’d be good for getting more remote jobs — probably one that can even relocate me abroad. 

    What do you want but can’t afford right now?

    A foreign passport, please. I want to be able to travel freely. And maybe, a car. Wait… do I actually want a car?

    I’m pretty sure you can afford a car

    Yes, but I don’t want to just carry money and throw on a car. Seems like a lot.

    How happy are you on a scale of 1-10?  

    I’d say 5, and it’s because I’m still living in this country.