Conrad Johnson-Omodiagbe, Author at Zikoko!

No matter what type of relationship you’re in, telling someone “I love you” can be a pretty scary experience. While those three words are common among families and romantic partnerships, most men still struggle with translating their feelings into words, especially when it comes to their male friendships. We recently spoke with 6 Nigerian men to talk about the dynamics of their friendships and whether or not they’re willing to say “I love you” to their male friends.
Marcell

I used to be very weird about “I love you” in general, but yes, I’m now the guy that at least says it back. Those three words weren’t tossed around in my nuclear household a lot, so for me to say it back, I’d have to figure out If I actually loved that friend.

I remember the first time a friend of mine said it. I can’t remember if I said it back, but I did cry because it felt genuine. It felt too real, like I could believe and trust he would never leave my corner. I think men find it hard because society has convinced them that they can’t be vulnerable, soft or emotional. Even our fathers equate being there financially to loving us. This father-son relationship has no emotional depth, and it’s the same with most male friendships.

Kelechi

Saying “I love you” to my male friends doesn’t come naturally to me. I’d much rather use substitutes like “nice one” or directly express appreciation for something they’ve done for me. I can’t recall any of my guys saying it to me, but I would feel weird if a guy told me that he loves me. It’s just one of those statements I’d rather hear from the opposite sex.

While I’m open to men evolving when it comes to showing emotions, I’m not open to it being in the expressive ways women do it. I think love can be expressed in many different ways that are not necessarily verbal.

Fred

I started saying it to my friends during my time in the university. I realized it was odd not to tell my male friends how I felt about them. A lot of them were amused at first, and many have since reciprocated. From being unsure about what to do with such information to being afraid of doing what is “reserved for women”, I believe there’s a spectrum of reasons why most men find it weird.

There’s also the fact that most of us never had a reference point for this “love thing”.

King

I remember the first time I said it to a particular friend – I was sleeping over at his and we were high as hell,having a long winded conversation that drifted to how our friendship had impacted me when I said, “Man, I love you so much.” I wasn’t looking for a response when I said it, so I just carried on talking. Anyways, he thought I meant it romantically so I had to clarify that I didn’t.

Over the course of our friendship, I’ve said it maybe 200 times and he’s said it to me twice. I think he’s not there yet.

Abiodun

God forbid! Why should a guy tell another guy “I love you”? It’s not like I think its “gay” or anything. I just think it’s weird. Just thinking about it is making me cringe. I love my friends, and I think they all know this, so why should I start shouting it up and down? I don’t know how you guys do it but it can never be me. Godspeed!

Priye

I’m indifferent. I won’t say it first, but if you say it to me, I’ll respond. It’s just words to be honest. Do you know how many times we say it to people without actually meaning it? Like I said, it’s just words. It won’t kill anyone. But I won’t say it first sha and that’s a general rule, even in romantic relationships. You don’t want to say it first and look desperate.
More than a year after the Lekki Toll Gate massacre, the Lagos State Judicial Panel on #EndSARS has submitted a report confirming that the Nigerian Army and Police Force were both responsible for the killing of protesters on the night of October 20th, 2020.

The panel was inaugurated on October 19th, 2020, to quell the ongoing protests by investigating cases of human rights abuses by the Nigerian Police Force, the panel’s role eventually expanded following the night of the massacre.

“The Nigerian Army was invited for intervention in the State and was deployed to Lekki Toll Gate on the 20th of October 2020. At the Lekki Toll Gate, officers of the Nigerian Army shot, injured, and killed unarmed helpless and defenseless protesters, without provocation or justification, while they were waving the Nigerian Flag and singing the National Anthem and the manner of assault and killing could in context be described as a massacre,” the report read.

Here’s everything we know about the report:

The Nigerian Army Fired Live Bullets

After months of going through evidence and listening to eye-witness accounts, the panel concluded that the Nigerian Army actually fired live rounds at the tollgate, killing multiple Nigerians.

The panel stated that it had recovered two bullet shells from the scene on October 30th, 2020, when it went for a spot assessment. The shells were duly analyzed by forensic experts who determined that they belonged to the Nigerian Army.

Doctors Testified To Multiple Injured People And Over 96 Recorded Deaths

Presenting its findings, the panel cited the testimonies of three doctors who attended to protesters on that night. In their testimonies, the doctors confirmed that many protesters were critically injured, with over 96 gunshot-related deaths recorded from that night alone (some of the bodies are yet to be identified).

The Nigerian Police Also Shot At Protesters

The panel’s report also points at another round of shootings from that night, this time by the Nigerian Police Force. According to the report, after the Nigerian Army left the toll gate, officers of the Police Force showed up and shot directly at the remaining protesters who tried to flee the scene. Bodies were reportedly discovered in the shanties and the Lagoon at the Lekki Phase 1 Foreshore, close to the Lekki Toll Gate.

The Nigerian Army Blocked Ambulances From Attending To Victims

Confirming reports made by medics and protesters from that night, the panel found that the Nigerian Army made the situation worse by refusing to allow ambulances to render medical assistance to victims who required it. This eventually led to more deaths that could have easily been prevented if medical aid had been administered at the appropriate time.

Lekki Concession Company (LCC) Tried To Stall The Investigation

The report also provided more information on the LCC’s role during and after the shootings. According to the panel, the LCC failed to cooperate with the investigation, refusing to hand over vital evidence in its possession.

The LCC is also reported to have manipulated the CCTV footage it presented before the panel.

A Clean-up Attempt

Finally, the report also revealed that several government agencies attempted to cover up the incident of October 20th. According to several eyewitness accounts, the Nigerian Army and the Lagos State Environmental Health Monitoring Unit (LASHEMU) allegedly showed up with vans to cart away the bodies of dead protesters. The Lagos Waste Management Authority (LAWMA) was also reported to have arrived at the scene for a quick clean-up immediately after the shootings. Similarly, officers of the Nigerian Army and Police Force were reported to have picked up empty shells from the bullets they used, in a bid to cover up their parts in the shootings.

Next Steps….

As part of its report, the panel recommended that the Lekki Toll Plaza be made a memorial site for the protesters who died, renaming it the “ENDSARS TOLLGATE”. Other recommendations included making October 20th of every year a toll-free remembrance day – hinting at plans to reopen the toll gate, a public apology by both the State and Federal Governments, compensation to victims from that night, the establishment of a standing committee to bridge the gap between the society and the police, and the institution of a Human Rights Committee or Tribunal made up of relevant stakeholders.

Receiving the report, Governor Babajide Sanwo-Olu promised to set up a 4-man committee led by the Honorable Attorney-General to prepare a White Paper for the purpose of implementing the findings and recommendations expressed in the report. He also promised to send the report to the National Economic Council (NEC) for implementation.
Being an old Nollywood sidekick is no easy task. With limited screen time, they have to work twice as hard to stand out. One minute they’re in class studying, and the next, they’re outside some random girl’s hostel shouting “boyfriend snatcher!” because their friend (and main character) needs them to. Yes, the role of movie sidekick is hard. But here are some of our favorite old Nollywood sidekicks who ate every scene they appeared in.

Susan Patrick – The President’s Daughter

In “The President’s Daughter”, one of the most chaotic old Nollywood representations of IJGB culture to ever exist, Regina Askia plays Vanessa, the daughter of a Nigerian president who returns from the “states” to do drugs and walk around in a hideous grey wig. While Ms. Askia is the official star of the film, Susan Patrick gives an equally hilarious performance as Achika, Vanessa’s best friend and personal hype woman. In an unforgettable scene where both ladies go shopping in a boutique, Vanessa asks the sales girl to send everyone out because, well, when you’re big, you’re big. When the sales girl tries to protest, she quickly tells her to “sharrap”, and in that moment, Achika drops this iconic line:

“If your friends don’t tell people who you are, who will?”

Uche Jombo – Beyonce vs. Rihanna

Rumor has it that the real Beyonce has seen this film. Although Mummy Blue has refused to share her thoughts on this visual masterpiece, the Nollywood/Ghollywood cross-pollination cannot be complete without “Beyonce vs. Rihanna”. The film follows Rhyme (Omotola Jalade Ekeinde as discount Rihanna) and Bernice (Nadia Buari as discount Beyonce), two singers constantly fighting each other for supremacy in the music industry, and the heart of a local champion music producer named Jay (Jim Iyke as discount Jay Z). Most of the movie’s runtime features showdowns between the “singers,” and Uche Jombo, who plays Rhyme’s right hand woman, was always on hand to drag Bernice for filth.

We stan a committed friend.

Martins Njubuigbo – Every film with a Palace Scene

If there’s one thing I miss about old Nollywood, it’s all the palace deliberation scenes. Back in the day, every film set in a village had an igwe, with his council of elders who were always ready to offer sage advice and kiss his ass. Nollywood actor, Martins Njubuigbo, is a regular on this council. From Olu Jacobs to Pete Edochie, Nonyelu has served more terms than a Nigerian military Head of State turned president. Legend has it that if you look into a mirror and say “Igwe” three times, he’ll appear.

Franca Brown – Abuja Connection

Way before Eucharia Anunobi and Clarion Chukwura gave their lives to Christ, they gave us iconic characters in the 2003 drama, “Abuja Connection”. Set in the city filled with contract and senator chasers, the film follows the rivalry between Jennifer (Clarion Chukwura) and Sophia (Eucharia Anunobi), two women who hate each other’s guts because there aren’t enough sugar daddies in Abuja for them to share.. It features the epic scene where Eucharia tells Clarion, “I can see you envy my beauriful bawdy.” Amidst the outrageous wigs, long acrylic nails and heavy gold jewelry, Franca Brown, who plays Eucharia’s sidekick, issues multiple unforgettable threats.

Violent friends, over here please!

Mac Morris Ndubueze – Every film where one or two cultists are gathered

If there is one thing Nollywood campuses are known for, it’s peak cultism action. From Ini Edo as an oppressed student in “Beautiful Faces” to Nonso Diobi as an oppressor in “War Game,” almost all our faves have been involved in at least one cultism-themed drama. Talking about “War Game”, our favorite character in it happens to be the sidekick played by Mac Morris Ndubueze. You know that thing where someone says a lot without saying anything at all? That was Mac Morris throughout the film.

We stan a trigger-happy comic relief!
We’ve all been there. That moment when you show interest in someone and they either say “No thanks. God bless” or “I’m on a journey of self-discovery”. Those moments feel like a stab to the heart. To my brothers going through the struggle, we see you. Here are 5 ways to handle rejection in 2021.

Become a rapper and drop a diss track (or album)

All your favorite rappers have that one song written to remind their secondary school girlfriends that they’re successful now, while the girl is out there probably married to a loser. Does it matter that LOYL has happily moved on with a successful tech bro? No! Does it matter that you can’t rap for shit? No! The only thing that matters here is how you feel. So book that studio session today. Watimagbo!

Fake enjoyment on social media

The best way to get back at someone who rejected you is to show them that you don’t care. As a matter of fact, show them you’re living your best life. Whether that life is real or not doesn’t matter. So, borrow one of your female friends and do “My view, her view.” Crash a neighbor’s game night and post pictures from it on your IG stories. Download holiday videos from TikTok, and pass them off as yours (Nobody’s going to know) And as the cherry on top of this sundae of lies, spend all your savings on a new car. There’s no way she won’t be jealous after all this.

Sew a thread on Twitter

If you’re not a writer with a good sense of humor, this might flop harder than the Nneka the Pretty Serpent remake. We advise you to hire a good writer to make a long ass thread about how people don’t understand your potential in life. Bonus points if you cite a couple of brothers who went from grass to grace, like Olamide and Jay-Jay Okocha. You will look pathetic, but it’s all part of the process.

Work hard so you can buy her father’s house

What better way to get revenge on the person that broke your heart than buying their family home? It’s time for you to develop the next FinTech app and make enough money to become her father’s landlord. She’ll probably look back at the time she rejected you and scream “Had I known!”

Just Cry

Now that you have failed at all the other things on this list, it’s time to play Enya and just have a good, ugly cry. We get it. Life is hard. But stay strong, bro. One day, someone will accept your offer of love.
Nollywood is in a constant state of evolution. Over the past few years, the industry has found its way out of the ghetto. We bade adieu to bad wigs with no frontals and ghosts that obey traffic signs, and quickly said hello to that one bridge that never misses a project and an array of actors with accents we just can’t trace. All in all, we’ll take what we can get and call it progress.

Izu Ojukwu’s Amina is currently showing on Netflix. The film is one of the few Nollywood offerings that take us away from the overly milked Lekki-Ikoyi set “Why can’t I find a man” romcoms that come out every Eke market day. Chronicling the life of Northern icon and the original Khalessi, Queen Amina, the film had us thinking about some other badass (some are just downright bad) Nigerian historical figures that deserve biopics of their own.

Welcome to history class.

Fela and Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti

What better way to kick off our class than with the man Burna Boy so desperately wants to be like. Arguably the most famous Nigerian musician of all time, Fela has been sampled by everyone from Beyonce and Missy Elliot to Skales and Wizkid. While Fela has two plays based on his life with one showing on Broadway, seeing the story of the man who dared military leaders for breakfast on a big screen would slap real hard!

Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti, a renowned feminist leader, and mother to Fela is another figure who deserves a Nollywood biopic of her own. Before she was thrown out from a second-story window by the military in 1977, the original badass Kuti had her foot on the necks of the British and the Nigerian military. She was known to lead marches, revolting against unfair taxation. She’s also famous for being the first woman to drive, a feat some of us have failed to achieve years later

General Sani Abacha

Uganda has The Last King of Scotland, Britain has all the adaptations of Henry VIII, so it’s only right we get a full feature film about the military dictator who “allegedly” met his death eating a ₦100 green apple. General Sani Abacha who ruled Nigeria like Game of Thrones’ Jeoffery is by far one of the most brutal leaders this country has ever seen. His reign of terror lasted from 1993 – 1998. The man was offing people left, right, and center. However, these days, Abacha randomly gifts Nigerians a couple of millions from all the money he looted during his tenure. Where does this money go? Well, tomorrow is another day.

Samuel Ajayi-Crowther

We all know The Oscars love a good slave story. Well, Samuel Ajayi-Crowther is our shot at the gold naked man. Slave turned linguist, turned the first African Anglican Bishop, Crowther served us some serious range! Our good bishop was praised for his contribution to education and religion in the country. Years later, he was eventually pressured out of his position. Why? well, two European missionaries accused African pastors of fraud, ignorance, and immorality – smells like racism. Imagine a Nollywood biopic about this? The drama! The tea!

Nnamdi Azikiwe

It’s not easy being the face on ₦500. When you’re big, you’re actually big! Popularly known as Zik, Nnamdi Azikwe was famous for forming a temporary government alongside another iconic figure, Abubakar Tafawa Balewa. He received the largely honorary posts of President of the Senate, Governor-general, and, finally, first President of Nigeria from 1963 – 1966. A controversial figure during the Biafran War, his biopic will be sure to feature long monologues and enough political backstabbing to have us at the edge of our seats.

Kanu Nwankwo

Kanu Nwankwo, also known as Papilo is one of the most famous Nigerian footballers of all time. Scoring two last-minute goals that saw Nigeria beat Brazil, he led the country to victory at the 1996 Olympics. He is also famous for that one milk ad that we all couldn’t escape growing up. Whether or not we’ve made our parents proud is still up for debate. We are sure that a Nollywood biopic, aptly titled Papilo, will have Nigerian cinemas in a chokehold.
Going bald unexpectedly can be incredibly shocking. One minute you have a hairbrush and everything is fine. And then, just like yesterday’s fried rice, everything turns sour, and you have to donate your hairbrush to charity. It sucks! Although we have been groomed to see hair as everything — I mean, there’s a reason it’s called “Good hair day” and not “Good nose day” — a lot of men are coming to terms with the fact that their hairlines will never return from war. Some are confident that with their beard, they might be able to pass for a young Lynxx, while others are scared that their vase-like heads will have them looking like Lord Voldermort. We caught up with 4 Nigerian men on going bald in their early twenties and finding hope in a barren land.

Osione, 27

Omo, I’m still traumatized! My hair loss started from the middle of my head, and with thick hair surrounding a massive hole, my head looked and felt like a football stadium. I tried to hack it for a while, but what can you do when nature decides to show you pepper? I’m not a part of team #BeardGang so the whole process was pretty daunting for me, as I was worried I would look like a baby. Anyways, one day I gave up and cut it all off. Enough was enough. Because I’m a gym rat, I don’t look like a baby. People think I’m a bouncer, and one chick told me I could pass for a dark-skinned Vin Diesel. Then again, women lie a lot when they want to smash.

Kunle, 24

I always tell people my hairline packed up and left like a thief in the night. I can’t even remember the year or how it happened. All I know is that I was at the barbershop one day and the barber was really struggling to “carve” my hairline. He looked like he was in distress writing a further math exam or something, so I just told him to shave it all off. The look of relief on his face was the confirmation I needed to leave my struggle hair behind.

These days, my bald head has become my signature look. I can’t even imagine myself with hair because it would probably look like one of those filters on the internet. It’s amazing when you actually feel cold water touching your head. By the way, I changed barbers sha. My old barber struggling with my hair was indicative of his limited skills, and even though that didn’t matter to me anymore, I only want the best of the best touching my head.

Clinton, 29

I love being bald! Do you know how nice it is not to bother about what haircut you’re going to get next? We act like we don’t care about these things but just like women, our hair is important to us. If not, why would you spend almost forty minutes getting a “shape up”?

For some people, it’s their hairline taking one or two steps back. In my case, it started when I turned 20 and began noticing bald spots on my head. It looked like rats were feasting on my hair while I slept. By the time I noticed the third spot, I went to see my barber and he cut everything off. Did I mention that girls love my bald head? They like to kiss and rub it like it’s one of those magic 8-balls, and I like it too. It’s therapeutic for all involved.

Caleb

I started losing my hair at 14 and by 17, it became really noticeable as my forehead had become prominent, and my hairline had receded seriously on both sides. I grew up with really black and curly hair, so it felt like I was losing something central to my persona. Have I accepted it? – Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Losing your hair, like a lot of other life events, is a huge change. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten to talk about it. Sometimes I’m angry that it happened, and other times, I’m angry that it happened so early. I’m lucky I have a full beard, so it fits perfectly. But would I change it if I had the chance? Yes, I definitely would.