7 Things Anybody That Attends UniBen Can Relate To

May 11, 2021

If you are a student of the UniBen, then here are some things you definitely understand how they work. They are not new to you, and you are not new to them.

1) Shouting don’t pour when you want to cross the gutter in the hostel

If you enter the hostel and you want to cross under the gutter, you better shout with all of your might “don’t pour” if not, Santana pot that someone soaked for three days might be the next thing to land on your head. If water is inside the pot pours on your body, there is nothing you can do. Don’t even try shouting because it won’t solve anything. Just go and have your bath before the smell will soak inside your body.

2) Walking from the main gate to bank road

Someone thought it was a good idea to move the buses from the car park at main gate, to the park at bank road. One might even want to call that person wicked, but that person is the VC and you want to graduate. Imagine all the trekking you would do if you live on 19th street.

You after walking

3) The Sun

Rumour has it that UniBen has a separate sun from the rest of Benin. Don’t believe me? Check your weather map before and after you leave the school. The place is hot unnecessarily. It makes me wonder, maybe UniBen is Nigeria’s portal to hellfire. In fact, maybe UniBen is hell.

4) Shot put

Oh, you think UniBen has enough money and time to teach the actual shot put sport? LMAO

Personally, I refuse to be the only to explain it. God Bless you.

5) Lack of network

The school probably made a deal with internet providers just because they wanted us to suffer. Why else does network almost completely disappear when in school? Especially when you get to faculty??? Now, you’re actually forced to listen to your lecturers in class. Do they think that’s what we came to school for???

6) Always collecting your change

The ten naira other people might leave could be the difference between you trekking to you department, or taking the bus. That is why UniBen students always collect change. How else will they be paying for thirty naira bus all the time?

once they collect all their ten and twenty naira change

7) Stress and suffering, trials and tribulations

UniBen students are suffering. They wake up, take a deep breath and go “God, school again.” Trials and tribulations are things they know all too well. The stress of schooling in UniBen is turning their hair grey and making their blood pressure high. Those people are walking zombies.

that’s why you should be sending them money unprovoked. Please.

If you want to know what is inside this life, please click here


Itohan Esekheigbe

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