Childbirth is often described as beautiful and life-changing, but for many women, the reality is far more complicated, especially the first time. With no previous experience to draw from, first-time mothers navigate the unknown, the gap between what they were told to expect and what actually happens. 

Ten Nigerian women share what giving birth for the very first time was really like, from traumatic emergency procedures to supportive partner moments they still cannot forget, and for some, how that first experience shaped whether they ever wanted to do it again.

1. “I was so scared of going under the knife” — Esther*, 45 

My first child was a day late, and I felt like I was being constantly hit by a car. My husband was not in the state at the time, but my mother was there, and I thought having her there would make the birth less excruciating, but I was wrong. 

I felt like I was genuinely going to die. I was in so much pain that I poured water on the nurse tending to me. Due to the delay in birth, the doctors thought they would need to perform a caesarean section on me, and I was so scared, but thirty minutes before I was taken to the operating room, my daughter finally decided to come out. When I held her for the first time, I didn’t really know what to feel except exhaustion and relief. The realisation that I’d pushed a whole human out of me hit me only two days later. 

2. “I just wanted a familiar face” — Angel*, 39

My husband was admitted to the hospital, my family lived states away, I didn’t have close friends, and my husband’s family didn’t like me. So when my water broke, I had to find myself a ride to the hospital. 

When I got to the hospital, the nurses took their sweet time looking for a room for me, and as I sat in the reception hall, all I could concentrate on was the pain. My mum had narrated all her birth experiences as calm, but there was nothing calm about mine. The nurses treated me like a minor inconvenience. It was only when the pain got worse and I started screaming that they decided to take me to a room. It felt like my usual period cramps were multiplied by 100. When a nurse urged me to push, all I could think about was slapping her. 

At that moment, I missed my husband because he’d been so excited about our first child. Having him in the room would have made things less stressful. Having to deal with lifeless medical professionals probably added to the labour pains. When I finally managed to push my child out, and he was handed to me for skin-to-skin contact, I felt blank. Everyone always said that when you see your child, the pain you experienced would be pushed to the back of your mind, but mine was not. I felt sore, and I just wanted a familiar person to hug me. 

My son is almost ten now, and my family has been asking for another grandchild, but I can’t ever forget the pain I experienced during labour. I don’t believe it’s something that ever leaves you, and I am not going to do that to myself again. 

3. “I cursed myself and my husband for deciding to have a child” — Vera*, 34 

I was diagnosed with preeclampsia during my first pregnancy. It triggered health issues like high blood pressure and diabetes, so my pregnancy was already hard. I was 34 weeks into my pregnancy when everything worsened. My feet kept swelling, and I suddenly had a hard time breathing, and if I were left alone, I would have died. 

My husband had to take me to the hospital, and the doctor was the most understanding person ever. She didn’t try to downplay my panic in any way. She was the one who told me that if I’d ignored the symptoms, my baby and I probably wouldn’t have made it. I was placed on bed rest for a few days before I was induced, and then, I loudly cursed myself and my husband for deciding to have a child. Everyone in the room, especially my husband, tried their best to soothe me, but it felt like I was underwater, with their voices so muffled. 

When I finally held my baby before he was taken to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), all I could think about was how someone as small as him had almost killed me. I don’t plan on having another child. Due to the preeclampsia that held me during my first pregnancy, my husband and I have decided that if we are itching for a new child, we would adopt. 

4. “I was treated like a minor inconvenience” — Khadijah*, 29 

I’m not a fan of recounting my first birth experience because of how I had to deal with insensitive medical professionals while I was experiencing the kind of pain I’d never experienced in my life. 

I’d purposefully chosen a hospital that offered epidurals because I wanted my birth experience to be as stress-free as possible, yet I still came to the conclusion that I would never give birth in a country like Nigeria ever again. Right from the moment my water broke, my entire body felt like it was on fire, and while my mother-in-law did her best to offer all the support she could, I was still in pain. 

At the hospital, everyone kept playing in my face. The nurses were acting like they were doing me a favour, even though we were paying quite a lot to give birth, and when it was time to give me an epidural, the anaesthetist was nowhere to be found. I was in pain, and no one deemed me important. It was only when I felt that my baby was crowning and my mother-in-law pulled out threats to sue if anything went wrong with me that the anesthesiologist appeared, and everyone started paying attention. 

The birth was not easy. I had to beg myself not to pass out. But when I got to hold my daughter, all I felt was something akin to euphoria. While I hated the birth process, everything felt like it was worth it the moment I saw my daughter. I am actually really excited about having more children, but I will not be giving birth to them in Nigeria. 

5. “The nurses made jokes to put me at ease” — Damilola*, 27 

Before I had my baby, I’d fallen down a rabbit hole of reading bad birthing experiences on social media, and I was scared mine would turn out like that. Fortunately, it was the opposite. 

The morning my contractions began, I woke my husband and asked him to drive me to the hospital. At the hospital, one of the nurses I’d familiarised myself with during my antenatal visits took me to the room, and while I was in there, my water broke. From there, the nurses started asking me to push, and they even made jokes to put me at ease. I also had my husband there, and he was constantly asking me if I was okay and if I needed anything. 

At some point, I felt I really needed to use the toilet and asked the nurses to let me go so I wouldn’t soil their sheets. That was how they told me that it was my baby coming out. Before I knew it, I had my child in my arms, and I was the happiest woman ever. I was sore, and I had a vaginal tear, but I didn’t even think about it too much. I was just so happy to have my baby. 

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6. “The nurses asked if they were the ones who told me to get pregnant” — Susan*, 37

I felt my labour starting around mid-afternoon, but I didn’t think about it too much because my contractions just reminded me of my period cramps, and they weren’t too bad. I didn’t tell my husband. I just went around the house doing things I’ve always done, like reading a book, cooking a meal, and watching a movie. I didn’t panic at all because I’d educated myself on everything birthing. 

It wasn’t until late evening that my husband drove me to the hospital. Apparently, general hospitals don’t allow husbands to enter the labour room. The nurses were not very kind, and whenever I grunted out in pain while pushing, they would ask me if they were the ones who asked me to get pregnant. I didn’t like that part very much, and I missed my husband’s presence.

By my sixth push, my baby slid out. When I held my baby, I just felt really glad because I really didn’t want to have a caesarean section. I would have crashed out if I did. 

General hospitals are a no-go. When I got pregnant with my second child, I immediately registered at a private hospital that actually offered premium healthcare. 

7. “I had a placental abruption” — Latifah*, 45

Due to an oversight on my doctor’s part, I wasn’t aware of my preeclampsia until it triggered a placental abruption four weeks before the baby was due to come out. I’d taken a nap, and I woke up bleeding. My husband was out of the country then, but I had my sister-in-law with me, and she drove me to the hospital while trying to assure me that nothing was wrong. I barely listened to her. 

At the hospital, I was taken to a room, and the moment my doctor checked me, he said we had to do an emergency C-section. I’d read horror stories about C-sections, so I was scared I would die because the bleeding had gotten worse, but the doctor told me that was my only option, so I took it. When I regained consciousness, I had my husband beside me, and I was informed that my daughter was in the NICU. 

I was really sad about the whole situation because I was denied having skin-to-skin contact with my daughter. The next time I get pregnant, I will ensure that I have a really good doctor who pays attention to any new symptoms I might have. And I hope that I won’t go through the hell I went through the first time.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

8. “I had a great time” — Anna*, 29

I actually had a great time with my birth. My husband took me to the hospital when my contractions started, and the nurses didn’t make my life hard in any way. When I was 8.5cm dilated, and my contractions went from mild to worse, I asked for an epidural, and I got it. My husband was there for support, and it put me at ease when they started asking me to push. Less than 30 minutes later, I had my healthy son in my arms, and although I was really blank from exhaustion, I was glad. 

Having a great first-time birthing experience actually helped my panic regarding pregnancy and labour. My husband and I do not have the time to take care of another child right now, but we are planning to have at least two more babies in the near future. 

9. “I didn’t have access to my family or pain relief” — Precious*, 30 

I was in labour for over 20 hours because I wasn’t dilating on time. Also, I didn’t have access to an epidural or any other pain relief, and my family had to wait outside the room, so I didn’t have anyone to comfort me. Till now, I can’t compare that pain to any other pain. I was zoning in and out, and I had to push for a long time. It took a great effort not to fall into the darkness that was calling me. 

When the baby came out, I was just glad to be done with it. I felt so low; the doctor was the one who ensured that I did skin-to-skin. Left to me, I didn’t want to. At that moment, I didn’t want to hold my baby at all. 

My first time being a mother triggered awful Postpartum Depression episodes that made me irritable at everyone, including my baby, and I didn’t like that period because of how much it turned me into a person I’m not. Everyone tells me it’s not my fault, but I am planning to have my tubes tied soon. I am satisfied with my one child. 

10. “I was just really happy to be a mother” — Maryann, 40

My water broke a day before my actual due date. My husband was still at work, and I couldn’t drive, so I pleaded with my neighbour to drive me to the hospital. 

At the hospital, I was offered an epidural injection when the contractions became too much, and I took it. I even fell asleep for some hours, and when I woke up, I saw my husband in the labour room, which was a relief. A few hours after I woke up, I was fully dilated, and about 30 minutes later, I gave birth to my child. 

It was beautiful, holding her and knowing that someone who once existed in my body is now here, alive and kicking. I was so happy that I didn’t want her out of my sight. I was barely listening when the nurse told me that I had a tear and I would need stitches. I was just really happy to be a mother. 

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