One of my favorite things to watch on the internet is a daily video series where this creator posts about the crazy, unhinged things AI founders have said.
In the most recent one I watched, the CEO of OpenAI (the company behind ChatGPT) shared how he doesn’t worry that his AI will get moral decisions wrong. He admits it might, but to him, that’s fine.
And I remember thinking, “AHH. If the CEO of OpenAI doesn’t trust his AI’s judgment on moral issues, why should anybody trust it when it comes to topics that fall in that purview, like relationships?”
Despite these glaring red flags from the creators themselves, people are still flocking to chatbots for help on how to navigate relationships.
According to a Google report, 88% of adult Nigerians use AI. With that many people weaving AI into their professional lives, it’s safe to assume that it has seeped into their personal lives too.
Halima Apampa, a mental health and emotional wellness advocate I spoke to explains that affordability of professional mental health care is a huge factor. “As human beings, we want our problems to be solved immediately. So instead of waiting for a paid appointment, we run to this next best option, AI, which is free,” she said.
Her observation is not entirely out of place. “Who doesn’t use AI?” Joshua responded when I asked if he had ever used it in his personal life. He admitted using it to try and move a conversation with a situationship forward. “It didn’t help me at the end of the day. The responses were too robotic,” he said.
Joshua isn’t alone. One singular thread ran through many of the people I spoke to who used AI for advice is that it wasn’t helpful. When Donald turned to ChatGPT for advice on how to help his partner with sleeping issues, it wasn’t much help, and most importantly, the generated responses didn’t sound like him at all.
While Donald simply found the AI unhelpful, others are finding it actively detrimental. Christie, for instance, started using ChatGPT to help with assignments, and she now regrets how far it has gone. “I feel like I use it for everything,” she confessed. “When I have issues with my boyfriend, I immediately turn to it to help me reply. I don’t think that’s okay.”
Christie’s dilemma is not an anomaly. Many people who started using AI almost can’t stop; it has become almost like an addiction.
Of course, it’s easy to justify this habit. There’s the argument that turning to an AI for a quick text reply isn’t so different from asking the group chat for advice. I mean, who has never asked their friends to share possible replies for a romantic interest? The crucial difference, however, is that your friends are human beings. “Has AI experienced love? No. Exactly, that’s the problem with it,” Anozie, an avid AI user says.
Outsourcing your emotions to a thing incapable of the human experience is the real danger here. While it would be foolhardy not to appreciate that AI is here to stay—get ready for a ChatGPT-ified world—I worry that our critical thinking skills as a people are steadily declining.
There is a running joke on Twitter about how Nigerians have comprehension issues. I’m afraid AI is going to make that worse. A 2025 study by MIT revealed that over-reliance on AI could potentially reduce human critical thinking.
Beyond the fact that we are thinking less; we are trusting systems that don’t actually think at all. AI psychosis is real. These chatbots hallucinate. They make things up. They are built to please.
So, when you rely on them for important life decisions like the ones you make in a relationship, you are outsourcing your chance for happily-ever-after to a pale imitation of consciousness that’s telling you what you want to hear at the expense of whatever relationship you’re trying to salvage.
Halima summarizes the true cost of this succinctly: “My biggest concern with this over-reliance is that people are forgetting how to properly connect. People are no longer putting in the effort to write heartfelt apologies or even stuff as simple as birthday messages.”
As AI agents continue to evolve and get better at giving the best advice that sounds tailored for you, it’ll become even easier to get sucked into the vortex of AI reliance. Don’t.
While AI is great for certain aspects of studying, work, etc, it is important to have that one area of your life you take ownership of without outsourcing it to anything or anyone.
If you would hate having a nosy friend or a meddling relative interfering in your relationship, why would you willingly open the door to a sycophantic robot? I will let you think about that.
