Don’t get excited

Why are you expressing joy? That’s a sign that things are soft and you have money. Don’t do it. You need to make the people who’ll bill you think there’s no money on ground.

Stay inside

Out of sight is out of mind. People can only bill you when they see you. If you stay inside this week, you’ll definitely escape billing.

If you must go outside, frown

If you have a resting ‘vexed’ face, put it on. Let people know they’re taking a risk by asking for anything.

Or print your account number on a shirt

It’s cheaper to just stay inside. But who knows? Maybe you might get fuel money for another week if you try this.

Put your phone on DND

This is a good time to unplug for the month. There’s money, so you can put your phone on do-not-disturb for a week without feeling like you’re playing with fire.

Complain about Nigeria on Twitter

We all know things are more expensive now. That’s why you need to actively complain about the increasing cost of living on Twitter so no one mistakenly comes near you.

Bill them first

Identify the people who are most likely to bill you, and bill them first. Preempt their move before they make it. You don’t need the money, but it definitely works if you want to keep these people away.

Use your bank as an excuse

Tell them your bank app has issues and you can’t log into it. If you’re using a Nigerian bank, chances are you won’t be lying to them. 

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