Are group trips actually fun? Do you people that snap group photos of your passports actually go out and have fun, or are we all lying to ourselves? 

Me, I don’t like group trips because they seem unnecessary. Why can’t we have fun at someone’s house? If you’re like me, this is how to get your friends to shout, “God forbid!” whenever your name comes up for the next trip to Lakowe Lakes. 

Don’t reply on time on the group chat

Air everyone. They’ll leave you next time. 

Start a “no talking” rule for the duration of the trip

And if someone talks, use Oraimo cord to wipe their neck. 

Start a rumour about the trip

Say it’s actually a secret cult initiation. The spicier the gist, the better. You can even tweet it on your burner. 

Pack your bags and leave without telling anyone

This is even better if the trip was your idea. 

Pretend to be a travel blogger

Spend the entire trip saying stuff like, “Hi guys. Welcome back to my YouTube channel!”

Sleep with a group member’s partner right before the trip

There must be drama. There MUST be drama. 

Pack smelly food for the trip

Fufu? Yes. Unwashed shrimp? Absolutely.