Valentine’s Day means different things at different stages of life. At one point, it was secret love notes and butterflies. Then it became grand romantic gestures and expensive dinner dates. And now? For some, it’s just another day. For others, it has evolved into something even bigger.
We spoke to seven Nigerians about how their Valentine’s Day celebrations have changed over the years — some for better, some for worse.
“It used to be about love; now, it’s just vibes”
In secondary school, *Chiamaka, 29, remembers the butterflies-in-my-tummy thrill of getting a Valentine’s gift for the first time from an anonymous crush. It wasn’t much — just a handwritten card and a chocolate bar — but the mystery of who sent it kept her smiling for weeks.
“My best friend’s boyfriend got her a massive teddy bear, and I was so jealous,” she recounts. “Then, just before lunch break, I found a handwritten card and a bar of chocolate in my bag. I still don’t know who put it there, but I held onto that card for months, imagining it was from my crush.”
By university, Valentine’s became a bigger affair. Fancy dates, Instagram-worthy moments, and carefully curated surprises became the norm. For her, it was less about love and more about making sure you were in a relationship that looked good online. “The pressure was insane in UNILAG,” she says. “If the gift didn’t have that wow factor, it was best to keep it hidden.”
Now? Single and struggling to survive Jagaban’s daily shege, she barely remembers the day unless she sees other people posting. If no one sends her a “Happy Valentine’s” text, she just moves on like it’s any other day.
“My husband used to go all out. Now, it’s just gifts”
*Tolu, 31, from Lagos, still vividly remembers how her husband — back when he was just her boyfriend — used to set the bar high.
“One year, he set up a candlelit dinner in his tiny self-contained apartment, handwrote a love letter, and cooked different meals for me,” she shares. “Another time, he planned a surprise picnic with all our favourite songs playing in the background.”
Now that they’re married, she still gets gifts, but the grand romantic gestures have trickled to a halt. “There’s hardly time for handwritten notes, carefully planned dates — just a wrapped present and a casual ‘Happy Valentine’s, babe’, and we keep it moving.”
She once asked him why he doesn’t do anything extra anymore, and he laughed, saying, “Babe, we’re already married. Every day is Valentine’s Day.”
Tolu doesn’t argue. She loves her husband, but sometimes, she misses the old him.
“From partying with the LOML to staying home”
*David, 32, from Lagos, used to throw Valentine’s parties with his boyfriend and their friends. Whether they were in relationships or not, it was always a night filled with drinks, loud music, and lots of flirting.
“My first Valentine with a partner was in 2019. We attended this underground queer party in Ilupeju, and it was honestly the best night. We spent 2021 and 2022 Valentine’s Day in the same place, but my BF relocated in 2023,” he shares.
Now? Valentine’s is still spent with his boyfriend, but mostly quiet. “The year he travelled, we didn’t even speak on Valentine’s Day because he was tied up with school and other stuff. Last year, we watched a movie together remotely, and he sent me money. This year? I don’t know what the plans are yet. The celebration never feels the same with a thousand miles between us.”
Does he miss the wild celebrations? Sometimes. But he’s also glad he doesn’t have to argue over splitting bills with his friends anymore.
“I proposed on Valentine’s Day. Now, it’s our anniversary and her baby shower”
*Ayo, 35, an Ibadan-based entrepreneur, never expected Valentine’s Day to become the most significant day of his life. He had planned the proposal in 2019 for weeks, making sure it wasn’t just a cliché dinner date. He got their families involved, booked a rooftop venue, and made sure it was a day his girlfriend (now wife) would never forget.
A year later, they got married on the same day. Now, Valentine’s Day isn’t just about romance — it’s their wedding anniversary. This year, it’s even bigger. His wife’s baby shower is happening on the same day.
“While people are planning dinner dates, I’m planning an anniversary dinner and a baby shower at the same time,” the expecting dad shares. “Valentine’s Day has always been a double celebration for me, and honestly? I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Don’t know what to gift the absolute LOYL this Valentine’s ? We’ve got the best Valentine’s Day gifting guide at the end of this article.
“Didn’t care then, don’t care now”
Some things change over time. But for *Ibrahim, 27, his feelings toward Valentine’s Day have remained the same.
Back in secondary school, he never got anything while the other boys in his class showed off the gifts their crushes had given them. “Cute notes, chocolate bars, perfumes…nothing ever came to me,” he recounts. “I was that one guy in class that no one was attracted to and I took it like that.”
By the time he got into a relationship later in university, his girlfriend was the one reminding him to plan something and make the day special. “My argument was always how I spoilt her with gifts on other random days, and why it shouldn’t mean anything if we spent the entire Valentine’s Day sleeping inside the house,” he shares. Plus, as a Muslim, he didn’t think he should be participating in the celebration anyway.
Now that he’s single again? Back to being unbothered.
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“My wife used to cry if I didn’t plan something. Now, she just wants a break”
For *Dele, 28, from Ibadan, Valentine’s Day used to be a high-pressure event. His wife, back when they were dating in university, expected thoughtful gifts, flowers, surprises — and if he forgot? She would get emotional about it.
“My wife? She doesn’t joke with special celebrations. Anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s Day…she has all the dates marked out in her calendar and she expects to have a celebration. I definitely struggled with keeping up in those first years because I never remember shit.”
One year, he didn’t plan anything. The silence in the house lasted an entire week. “I ended up spending double on a weekend getaway just to make up for my wrongdoing,” he recounts.
Now that they’re married with kids, things are different. When he asked what she wanted last year, she sighed and said, “Please, just take the kids out and let me have the house to myself for a few hours.”
That was the best Valentine’s gift he ever gave her. This year, there’s little to no motivation about doing anything extra. “We might go out for movies or a nice meal, but nothing extra.”
“I was broke AF, now I can afford to do anything”
*Jason’s love life during his early 20s was plagued with grand romantic ideas and gestures that never came to life due to limited financial resources. “Valentine’s was stressful AF because I was broke,” he shares.” It didn’t help that my babe was one of the prettiest in our department, and I always assumed she was one yahoo boy closer to dumping my ass. I had to get creative — handwritten notes, mixed CDs, small gifts. She always accepted them, but I never really thought I was giving her the best.”
Now, single in his 30s with a nice paying 9-5 job, the financial implications of Valentine’s Day are the least of his worries. “I can book staycations, buy expensive perfumes, and do the things I couldn’t back then. But then there’s the question of who am I doing these things for?”
Exactly six days to February 14, Jason’s yet to secure a val, and he’s not in the tiniest bit bothered. “I spend most of my Friday nights out with friends, so it’ll just be another Friday.”
Change is constant
For some people, the years have eaten into how they approach Valentine’s Day celebrations. The activities surrounding the day have gone from grand romantic gestures to just another day. However, for some others, it has become more meaningful over time.
Whether it’s a nostalgic memory, an anniversary, or a reminder that your partner used to try harder, one thing is clear — Valentine’s Day never stays the same forever.
And if you don’t care for romantic love and all its accoutrements, you should read our article on how aromantic Nigerians feel about the season of love.
READ THIS TOO: 22 Gift Ideas for Valentine in 2025 If You Are in Nigeria
