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  • Every week, Zikoko spotlights the unfiltered stories of women navigating life, love, identity and everything in between. 

    What She Said will give women the mic to speak freely, honestly and openly, without shame about sex, politics, family, survival, and everything else life throws our way.

    For Bekky*, a 25-year-old content creator based in Ibadan, a casual reconnection with an ex turned into a nightmare that involved unwanted advances, a creepy admirer, and a defamation lawsuit that came out of nowhere.

    (*Names changed for privacy)

    Let’s start from the beginning. How did you meet your ex?

    At a rave. I was maybe 19, and Tarabi*, 26, was everywhere on the scene. If there was a party happening in Lagos, she was there. She had this energy that just pulled you in, you know? We started talking, and it was a fast conversation. Like, really fast. One week we’re exchanging numbers, the next we’re inseparable.

    It was intense. The kind of relationship where you’re texting constantly, hanging outalmost every day, staying up till 4 a.m., talking about everything and nothing. I’d never felt anything like it before. But it was also volatile. We didn’t fight often, but when we did? It was dirty, especially on her side. She knew exactly what to say to hurt you, and she wasn’t afraid to go there.

    There was a lot of jealousy, too. She’d accuse me of things I wasn’t doing, and get upset if I went out without her. I was young, so I thought it meant she loved me. Now I know it was just possessive behaviour.

    How did it end?

    Badly. The jealousy got worse, and one day we just exploded. I can’t even remember what started it, but it ended with her saying some really hurtful things, I can’t repeat. I was done. I blocked her everywhere and focused on finishing my final year at school.

    We didn’t speak for a whole year. Honestly, I needed that space. I was healing, focusing on myself, trying to figure out who I was outside of that relationship.

    So how did you end up back in each other’s lives?

    I returned to Lagos after school, and suddenly we found ourselves in the same circles again. Mutual friends, same parties, same spaces. It was unavoidable.

    At first, we’d just acknowledge each other with a nod from across the room. Then one day, she sent me a DM. A casual “Hey, how have you been?” I replied because I’m not one to hold grudges forever, and I thought maybe we could be civil.

    The conversations became longer and more personal. It was almost like we were circling each other, testing the waters. Part of me was intrigued, but I was also very cautious. I remembered how things ended.

    When did things take a turn?

    She’d been trying to get me to come over for weeks. I create content, and she wanted to collaborate or just hang out; I wasn’t sure which. I kept saying I was busy, which was true. But one day, she was like, “Just come. Bring your stuff, stay over if you need to. Let’s just see each other.”

    I thought, okay, it’s just a shoot. We’re adults. We can handle this. So I went.

    At first, it was normal. We shot some content, caught up, and laughed about old times. It felt good. Like, we could actually be friends. Her place was nice, and she was being really hospitable. I started to relax.

    Then bedtime came. She showed me where to sleep, and I lay down facing the wall. I was tired, ready to knock out. Then I felt someone getting into the bed.

    Wait, what?

    I turned around, and she was fully naked. And there were vibrators and other toys scattered on the bed like she’d been setting up a whole scene.

    I turned back to face the wall so fast. My brain was just screaming, “What the fuck? What the actual fuck?” But I didn’t say anything. I just lay there, stiff as a board, until I eventually fell asleep. She didn’t say anything either. That’s what made it even more bizarre. She just got into bed like it was normal. Like we were still together, and this was something I’d be into.

    What happened the next morning?

    I woke up and she acted like everything was fine. She made breakfast and asked if I had slept well. I played along because I didn’t want to make it awkward. I just wanted to leave.

    Then her boyfriend came over. I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend until that moment. He came through, very friendly, very chill. We watched a movie together, all three of us on the couch. He left after a while, and I thought that was the end of it.

    But she started asking me if I was okay. Over and over. “Are you sure you’re okay? Did he make you uncomfortable? You can tell me.” I was so confused. I said yes, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?

    Did he come back?

    The next night, yes. We watched another movie. Everything seemed normal, then I started hearing sounds. Like, pla pla sounds. Kissing sounds.

    I was so absorbed in the show that I didn’t even notice at first. But when I turned to look, they were full-on making out. She was on top of him, right there on the same couch I was sitting on, and they were going at it.

    I tried to ignore it and act like nothing was happening. But it got louder. Moaning, touching, the whole thing. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I got up to leave. The problem was that the way the parlour was set up, I had to walk past them to get to the room.

    As I did, I felt two different hands on the back of my thigh. I turned around, and they were both looking at me, gesturing, giving me eyes. Like they were inviting me to join.

    I pulled my body away so fast and went straight into the room. I locked the door and didn’t come out until morning. I was gone before either of them woke up.

    Did you ever talk to her about it?

    No. I blocked her again and tried to move on with my life.

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    What She Said: Loving My Boss Cost Me My Fallopian Tube

    So when did you see her again?

    Months later, at a party. I was there alone but met up with friends, just trying to have a good time. She came up to me, all smiles, like nothing had happened andtalking to me. I told her straight up, “I have a boyfriend. I’m not interested.”

    You know what she said? “We’re girls now. We’re girlssss.” Like it made it okay. Like the fact that she’s a woman meant my boyfriend didn’t matter.

    Then she started with, “Is he paying your rent? Is he doing this for you? I can do all of that. I’ll buy you this, I’ll pay for that.” Just going on and on. I was so uncomfortable.

    On top of that, someone overheard this conversation and used it as ammo for the next things that followed. 

    Someone overheard your conversation?

    Yes. There was this guy I’ve known since secondary school. Chukwudi* was a few years older, and he’s been obsessed with me for years. 

    He followed me home once after a hangout with friends. He sent constant messages. He showed up at places I’d be. At first, I thought he was just persistent, but it got creepy. I told him off in a big way once, and really warned him to leave me the hell alone . He rested for a bit. But then it started again. I had to tell my older sister, and she got involved. She’s a principal with friends in high places, so she has this way of handling things that makes people back off. I think she even contacted his parents. After that, I didn’t hear from him again.

    But at this party, he was nearby, and he overheard everything my ex was saying to me.

    How did you find out?

    Through mutual friends. Apparently, after that party, he and my ex linked up. I don’t know how they connected, but they did. And they just fed off each other’s resentment. I think they were lying to each other, too, hyping each other up about whatever narratives they’d created about me.

    Next thing I know, I’m getting an email saying I have 30 days to appear in court for defamation, or I will be fined.

    Defamation? For what?

    I still don’t fully understand. The claim was vague, but from what I gathered, it was a mix of things. The email stated that I’d been “spreading false and malicious statements” about her, which allegedly damaged her reputation and business relationships.

    There was something about me revealing to  mutual friends that she tried to force me into sexual situations without my consent. Another thing about me warning other women about her. And then there was a whole section about me allegedly “accusing her of homosexuality” to clients and brands we both worked with.

    The email mentioned specific instances where I supposedly told people about our past relationship and what happened that night with her and her boyfriend. It said these statements cost her business opportunities and damaged her standing in our industry. I was also working with some brands at the time, and we had mutual clients, so maybe she thought I’d said something that affected her money.

    Honestly, the whole thing felt like they just threw everything at the wall to see what would stick. I just know I got that email, and I was furious.

    What did you do?

    Nothing. I was mad, scared, and confused, but I also knew I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t respond. I didn’t show up. The court date came and passed, and nothing happened. Shi shi.

    I think it was all just to intimidate me, and when I didn’t react, they moved on.

    What She Said: I Never Imagined I’d Be Single at 40, but I Don’t Mind It

    What about your boyfriend at the time? How did he handle all this?

    Terribly. When I told him what happened with my ex and her boyfriend that night in the parlour, he turned on me. He said I must have wanted it. Maybe I did sleep with them, and I was just lying. It was disgusting. He basically victim-blamed me for something I didn’t even do.

    And when I didn’t beg him or grovel, his ego couldn’t take it. He started blowing up my phone, sending long messages, and showing up at places. Then it turned into threats. I don’t even remember exactly what he said, but it got bad enough that I had to tell my parents. My dad called the police, and they warned him to stay away. My dad even paid some boys to beat him up. I’m not proud of that, but I was scared, and my family was just trying to protect me.

    That’s a lot to deal with at once. How did you cope?

    I didn’t for a while. I was angry, exhausted, and just done with people. I felt like everywhere I turned, someone was trying to manipulate me or control me or make me feel like I owed them something.

    But I’d always planned to leave Lagos eventually. I’ve never been crazy about the fast life there.It was always too much, too loud, too everything. So when a remote digital marketing job came up and then I got another physical job in Ibadan, I just took it as a sign.

    Not long after all of this, I moved. And it helped. I haven’t seen her or Chukwudi since. They never reached out again, and I have no business with them.

    How do you feel about relationships now?

    Very cautious. I’ve realised that I tend to attract people who become obsessed with me. I give too much too quickly, and they become possessive in a way that’s not healthy. So now I’m like, I’m goooooood. I’m very single. No girlfriends, no boyfriends. I’m learning to take things slowly, to give less of myself upfront, to really watch people before I let them in.

    Do you think you’ll date again?

    Maybe. But not anytime soon. I’m 25 now, and I’m just focused on myself. Building my career, healing, and figuring out who I am, all without the chaos. No girlfriends. No boyfriends.

    I wish I’d never met her, to be honest. However, I also learned a great deal from that entire experience. I learned that people will try you if you let them. That boundaries are everything. That sometimes walking away is the most powerful thing you can do.

    Last question: Are you happy now?

    Yes. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m exactly where I need to be. I’m not looking for anyone to complete me or validate me. I’m just… existing. Peacefully. And that’s enough.

    If you’d like to be my next subject on #WhatSheSaid, click here to tell me why.

    Single? Married? Divorced? Dating? In a situationship? We’re surveying Nigerians about love, relationships, marriage, and everything in between, and we want to hear from YOU.

    You only need to give us a few minutes of your time and participate in this quick survey. It’s 100% anonymous too!

  • A famous nobody once said, “If you haven’t been in a threesome, then you haven’t lived.” In this article, seven Nigerian women talk about being in threesomes. 

    legs in bed

    Ria, 24 

    I have been in two threesomes so far. The male-female-male one was a bit of a letdown because one of the guys wasn’t attracted to me. However, I liked the one I had with a girl and a guy. The guy was a friend with benefits. He knew the girl was bi-curious and wanted to be with a girl. 

    On the day it happened, I went over to his house, and she joined us some hours later. It was a bit awkward at first, then we played music and started dancing. She and I danced with each other, and then we started kissing. She had never had sex before, so we did everything else — oral sex, fingering, fondling. We took turns to please her. Sometimes I’d sit and watch both of them go at it or he’d sit and watch us eat each other out. It was fun. The whole thing lasted a couple of hours. 

    IT, 20

    I have been in a male-female-male threesome and an all-female threesome. I like sleeping with women more, so I was more involved when it was just us girls. I had slept with the two girls on different occasions before so I think the threesome was bound to happen. 

    That day, they both came to see me. Somehow, we started making out and we all had sex. I felt like I was the centre of attention. Someone was always touching me somewhere, and I loved it. I like the idea of sex with more than one person, so I’m trying to make threesomes more regular. 

    Dee, 26 

    The first one I had was with my girlfriend because she wanted to have the experience. One day, my girlfriend, my friend and I were hanging out and my girlfriend brought up the idea of a threesome. The guy was someone I used to have sex with. 

    We went to a hotel nearby and got high. I made out with my girlfriend for a bit, and then she asked me to make out with him. She didn’t let me touch her throughout. They both said they wanted to focus on me. Then she ate me out while he was playing with my tits. Afterwards, they both took turns having sex with me. I had multiple orgasms. It’s still the craziest experience I have ever had. 

    The second threesome I was in was all women and  we were all friends. We were hanging out that day when one of them started watching porn. She invited us to join her, and we did. As we watched, she said she had gotten horny and started touching herself. While she was touching her clit, she reached for my breasts and that’s how everything started. We all fucked each other, and it was nice. 

    Jumoke, 27

    There was this guy I was seeing who suggested we have a threesome. He introduced me to the girl he thought we could do it with. Before the threesome, the girl and I used to meet up to have sex so we could get familiar with each other’s bodies. I was scared of STIs, so I made both of them take a test before we had sex. The day we had the threesome, the babe started everything. She kissed me and then him. Everything happened so fast, but I really liked it. My brain usually acts as a commentator when I’m having sex sometimes so it was nice to be distracted because there wasn’t one thing to focus on. 

    Jo, 26

    During my service year, I was in a male-female-male threesome and the guys were twin brothers. I met Kenny* first and he didn’t tell me he had a twin brother. Some days later, I met his brother, Tai*. I thought it was Kenny but Tai explained to me that they were twins. Tai and I got close. After camp, we had sex and it was good so we continued to hang out. 

    One day we were hanging out at his house and smoking loud. Kenny was also with us. Tai and I started making out while Kenny watched. After a few minutes, Kenny went to get condoms and dropped them on the side table. He continued watching us make out, so I asked Tai if either of them had been in a threesome before, and he said yes. That’s how it started. Omo, they both fucked me and it was amazing. We had sex all night. They took turns to feed me. The next morning, Tai bathed me and it was the sweetest thing. I ended up spending the entire weekend there. 

    P, 28

    I had a crush on this guy in 2019, but we didn’t start talking until later this year. Our mutual friend had a party, and we met there. He didn’t want to be in a relationship but I didn’t care — I just wanted to have sex with him. When we talked about our kinks, he told me he likes being with multiple women at the same time, particularly when they are making out on his bed and he comes to join them. I had never been in a threesome but I was open to trying. 

    One day, he asked me to come over. While I was there, another girl I had met before at a game night came over. She had her bath and joined us on the bed. Within a few minutes, she started sucking his dick while I kissed him.

    After he fucked me, she sucked his dick. When I came, we switched. The sex was so fucking intimate — it felt like a union of bodies making love. There were so many things to do. We took breaks to eat, drink or gist but we continued all night. I felt great. Now I feel like I only want to have threesomes. 

    Tiff, 26

    In December 2020, I randomly tweeted about my boredom and my friend sent a DM, asking if I wanted to go out. I said yes and she said, “Prepare to be fucked”. I was like “Wow okay.” I went to meet her in the evening and found out that she had a guy with him. We did molly and went clubbing. After the night out, we went to the guy’s house. While we were there, he brought out a bondage kit. Both of them cuffed my wrists and gagged me. The sex was amazing. I don’t remember much because I passed out but I definitely want to do it again. 

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    QUIZ: How Sexually Adventurous Are You?

    Are you freaky or vanilla? Take this quiz to find out.

  • Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.

    The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 28-year-old pansexual woman who talks to us about discovering she was polyamorous, learning to have sex for herself, and dating a woman while in a relationship with a man.

    TW: Sexual abuse

    What was your first sexual experience?

    I was about 8. I was a very timid child and my mother encouraged me to make friends with my neighbour’s daughter who was about my age at the time. We would always hang out at either of our houses and one time, she asked me to touch her between her legs and she did the same to me. I liked it and we kept doing things like this until we moved to a different city when I was 12. 

    After we’d do these things together, I’d go home and read some of my nanny’s HINTS magazines. When I was 10, I read one of them about women touching themselves as we did was described as lesbianism. I ran to her house to inform her, in case she didn’t know, that we were lesbians.

    My first penetrative sex experience though, happened when I turned 18. I’d made a mental note to myself that I was going to wait till that age to have sex and when the time came I met this guy off Twitter and asked him if he’d ever been anyone’s first. He told me he had and so we had sex.

    Before we go into how the sex was, why this guy?

    Well, he wasn’t someone I particularly liked as a person. That was the main reason for choosing him. I was only physically attracted to him.

    Wait, you didn’t like him?

    Nope. When I was 12 and hanging out with my teenage male cousins, I heard them say that when a girl had sex for the first time with a guy, he would be all she’d ever want and she would remain madly in love with him.

    Ah yes, a version of that insane thing people call Okafor’s law.

    It didn’t make any sense to me even at that time. Why would someone sleep with me once and I’d be stuck with them forever? What’s that about? So I decided two things that day: I would have sex for the first time at 18 because I’d be an adult then and the person would be someone I had no emotional connection to at all.

    And you made good on your promise. So how was the sex?

    It was a very weird experience. I didn’t enjoy it. Every time he tried to penetrate me was painful as hell and it took a long time before he was finally able to. We tried with condoms and wasted about 3 condoms before he suggested we do it without them. When he finally got in, it was still so painful and felt so horrible that I screamed. I also bled. He got tissues to wipe the blood and then told me that we weren’t done yet because he still hadn’t broken my hymen. I was new to sex so I believed that this was how it worked so I allowed him to continue. There was so much pain and eventually, I passed out. When I came to, he was still thrusting and he ejaculated inside me. He bought me antibiotics the next day. I wonder how I didn’t get pregnant because those were definitely not contraceptives. 

    That’s horrifying. I’m so sorry. When would you say sex got good?

    I continued to have sex with this first guy and it didn’t get any better. While we were doing this I reached out to a guy I really liked but couldn’t have my first time with. Now I had had sex and could meet with him. So we did and I had my first orgasm from penetration. I didn’t even know that I was orgasming, I just thought “This feels weird, but good.” It was the first time sex was good and I was confused because I had just come to believe that sex was a painful thing.

    After a while, I started dating another guy that I liked. At this time I was getting regular orgasms from penetration but my school was in another city so we could only have sex when I was out of school. 

    I was having sex in school though. With a woman I liked.

    *Gasps* Cheating???

    I didn’t consider it cheating. I just felt like I was living my life and it was nice. I didn’t feel like I was doing anything bad so I talked about it with my boyfriend. And he never pushed back or complained about anything. Since he was fine with it, in my head it wasn’t cheating.


    But to be fair, I was seeing her before I started seeing him and she also had a boyfriend who was not in the same city as well. We just didn’t see it as a big deal. But it was. I felt more for her than I did for my boyfriend but no thanks to conditioning, I’d always just seen any relationships with women as temporary and that I would eventually end up with a man so it was all just fun.

    Did you ever feel bad about it though?

    I never felt I was doing anything wrong. I think I’ve always just been polyamorous. I confirmed this after reading more about polyamory years later. In my mind and heart I knew I could feel things for many people, so why was that a bad thing?

    Preach sister! So how have things changed for you with sex?

    This year has been interesting. I have finally started having sex for myself. I used to have sex for many different reasons: a man liked me, paid me attention, asked for it or because I was in a relationship. It wasn’t because I actually liked penetrative sex and wanted to enjoy it for myself.

    Now, I choose my partners and if I don’t want to, I say no. For example, there’s a friend of mine who has been wanting to have sex with me. I’ve told him no a few times. He’s also asked to eat my ass a couple of times and I let him but with sex, I drew the line. And I didn’t even like the ass eating. I realised I was only letting him do it because I somehow thought this was a way to save our friendship. But he kept pressing and now it’s to hell with him and his friendship.

    So what has ‘having sex for yourself’ looked like this year?

    For starters, throughout the lockdown I learned to masturbate and enjoy it. I now make myself cum often. Before this, I would feel so much guilt and shame about masturbating. With the lockdown, a lot of things became less taboo for me.

    What are some of these things?

    Apart from masturbation, sleeping with people in relationships or married people. Having sex in multiples. I’ve already had three threesomes this year alone. With six different people!

    The first one was with a guy I liked and wanted to have sex with but he mentioned that he preferred to have sex in multiples. I told him I’d never had a threesome and so he set it up. We started with watching Netflix but soon that became background noise for our shenanigans. It was such an erotic experience. And it was intimate. I always thought intimacy had to be between two people but I was wrong. The entanglement of bodies just felt so pure. At some point after he penetrated her, I sucked her juices off his dick. Do you even know how magnificent that is?

    I can’t say that I do. How did the second threesome happen?

    I went home with a babe from the club. I thought it was going to be just me and her but her man was there. We made out and then she ate me out for what seemed like hours. When she was done, her man ate me out as well, I squirted, and then he and I had sex. It was really good.

    A random thing I’ve also experienced this year is that getting my toes sucked intensifies my orgasm.

    You, my friend, are living the life. So how would you rate your sex life over 10?

    I’d say 5/10.

    I beg your pardon?

    Okay, so I give it a 0/10 because I’m not having sex as frequently as I’d like. But 10/10 for when I get to have sex because it’s always so amazing. Put those together and you get 5/10.

  • Threesomes: for when sex between two people is never enough. Because they can be had by any gender, and people hardly ever center women when it comes to sex, we spoke to 7 Nigerian women about their threesome experience.

    Ajike, 23

    So, it was with this guy that has been toasting me, and his girlfriend. He had sex with his girlfriend first, while I was just there waiting and watching till he got to me. He mentioned something about how he cannot have sex with condom on because his erection will vanish. I made him use a condom and he was right, so I just moved to his girlfriend. It was fun to watch and be watched, and since we were three, certainly qualifies as a threesome.

    Toyosi, 22

    Terrible, I really regret it. It was with a friend and her man. She wanted to try being with a woman and wanted to share that with him, and I agreed. I was horny and on drugs, so why not? Turns out she did not expect him to kiss me. I was so upset because she claimed I was moving to her man which is weird because I had a boyfriend at the time. I feel she just wanted him to see her fondle a lady, the cis-het version of spicing up a relationship.

    Amanda, 22


    My friends with benefits proposed it one random day. He had a friend who also wanted a threesome and so he planned it will be with his friend. The friend and I made out and almost had sex before the friends with benefits came back from work. When he came back, I was really lost in it and then realised he was the only onw I wanted to sleep with. His friend could like to gtfo. I got dry when the friend touched me, so I got sore really quick. In general it was just annoying.

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    Ginika, 21

    The first actual threesome I participated in was when I was 19. I was ambushed into it. It was not planned, but it was great. The babe was my sexy friend, and I was at her house when her friends with benefits came around. We got really high and it just happened. I was overthinking it at first, but I think the penis cleared my doubts.

    Elizabeth, 28

    It was not like I expected. It was fun, but quite disappointing. At a point, the dude and my friend were fucking like I wasn’t in the room, like I was invincible. I complained to my friend about being left out, and I was allowed my turn. Problem was after we were done, his friend came to knock, begging to join. I did not want to seem so uptight, so I said okay. I was upset, quite an uncomfortable experience.

    Adaeze, 28

    The first one I regret because it was at the dude’s house and his place was dirty as fuck. Roaches everywhere, dirty dishes and clothes everywhere. Don’t judge me, I know I should have got up and left, but I was young and silly, plus he had alcohol so I was just looking for a fun time. It was not even worth it, him and his friend were mediocre.

    Chika, 22

    So, it was two women plus me. The two other women were in a relationship at the time, and one had discussed having a threesome with me and her girlfriend some time ago. I agreed because I wanted to cross it off of my bucket list, plus I also knew both of them and did not have any attachment towards them. We had the threesome when I came visiting. It just happened, and since we were not all sober, I guess it was easier and less awkward that way.

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  • Threesomes rank very high on the list of many people’s biggest sexual fantasies. If sex with one person can be so great, it’s fair to assume that adding an extra body would only elevate the experience.

    So, we decided to ask Nigerians to send in their most memorable threesome stories. From getting ignored right in the middle of it to going at it for a whole weekend, here are 7 of the best stories we got.

    James, 26/Male/Straight

    I’ve always fantasised about having threesomes, but none of the girls I dated were ever really into the idea of sharing me. Thankfully, it’s finally happened, and it was good. Like, really good. 

    My babe invited one of her old friends to stay with us for a weekend. One night, while we were all drinking, her friend started joking about how she could hear us having sex from her room.

    She then asked if she could watch us do it and we agreed. From watching, she eventually joined in. My girlfriend was slightly jealous, but I convinced her to just go with the flow. It ended up being an amazing night.

    Dami, 27/Female/Bisexual

    I used to have a lot of threesomes last year, but that’s not the case anymore. My boyfriend at the time was really into it, and I was also pretty curious, so I just went with it. 

    My most memorable experience was actually very funny. There’s this guy I had a fling with about 2 years ago, and I really wanted to have a threesome with him. I told a friend about it and she said she was down. 

    I asked him and he said he was up for it too. When we got to his place, things got awkward very quickly. Maybe it was the thrill of being with a new person, but both of them were focused solely on each other. 

    I just pretended to fall asleep. I don’t think they bought my act, though, but that didn’t stop them from still going at it. I really just wanted it to be over. I guess I deserved it for trying to cheat on my boyfriend.

    Chike, 31/Male/Gay

    I’ve had a few threesomes in my lifetime, but it’s not something I particularly enjoy. I’m not the best at multi-tasking, and threesomes are the ultimate (and most awkward) way to test that skill.

    My most memorable experience happened in my 20s, and it was my first time. I had this fuck buddy who had talked me into trying it. He set everything up, from finding the other guy to paying for the hotel room.

    Immediately I saw the other guy, I completely forgot about my fuck buddy. I mean, we still had the threesome, but he was barely a part of it. Then when he finally slept off, the guy and I had sex three more times in the bathroom.

    Cynthia, 28/Female/Straight

    I don’t do threesomes often, but it’s definitely happened a few times. My boyfriend and I had been talking about doing it for a while, so we finally decided to just make it happen. 

    The babe I hit up had been a mutual acquaintance for years. I knew she was already into me because we’d kissed sometime in the past. So, as soon as I suggested it to her, she jumped at it.

    We made it into a full-blown sex party. We were basically a throuple for the weekend. It was amazing. We swam together, did a shit ton of drugs, ate off each other, played games and fucked a lot.

    Tochi, 29/Male/Straight

    I don’t have threesomes as often as I’d like. It’s not that easy to find two people who are down to do it. That being said, I’ve been in a couple of MMF threesomes that were really nice.

    My most memorable one wasn’t spontaneous. There was a conversation between the other guy and the girl, and they had agreed to it. Then she hit me up, and I was down. 

    On the day we were meant to hook up, we went out and got drunk. It helped ease the initial awkwardness. The sex itself was really fun. The guy and I are both straight, so she had all our attention.

    We took turns fucking her. There was also a lot of oral sex and foreplay. I know people tend to say threesomes are overrated, but if you’re with two people you have chemistry with, it’s really great.

    Tolu, 23/Female/Bisexual

    I don’t have threesomes often, but I have an experience that really stands out to me. It actually started with my girlfriend and boyfriend at the time lodging in the same hotel.

    We ended up hanging out in my room and got very high. Like stereotypes, we started playing truth or dare. He dared me to kiss her. I already had it at the back of my mind that it was going to go down, so I was ready.

    Anyway, our kiss turned into one of our raunchiest makeout sessions, and we took it from there. It was amazing. A lot of sucking and fucking went down that night.

    The next day, we moved to a new hotel and all three of us stayed in the same room this time. It felt like a love triangle, but like everything Nigerian, it ended in tears. I found out they slept together without me. 

    David, 30/Male/Bisexual

    I had my first-ever threesome this year, but I have had quite a lot since then. For me, my most memorable experience was with a babe and a guy (who had never had one with another guy before).

    I think what shocked him the most was that he seemed to enjoy being with me more than the babe. He really couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that being with a man was that pleasurable.

    He came twice from me giving him head, and at some point, he completely forgot about the babe. It ended up being very awkward. I actually prefer when we are all equally into each other.