single people in nigeria

Being single is great — until you realise it’s been months since someone held your hand for longer than five seconds. Whether you just got out of a relationship, have been single for years, or are currently experiencing a touch drought, the struggle of touch deprivation is real AF.

So, how do you cope when there’s no partner to cuddle up with? We asked five single Nigerians to share their experiences.

“Book regular massages, it’s a touch cheat code” — Ayo* 27

When did you first realise you were touch-deprived?

I was watching a rom-com and got jealous over a forehead kiss. That’s when I knew.

How do you deal with it?

Massages. Full stop. I get one at least twice a month. It’s not even about relaxation — it’s just human contact. I tried to downplay it, but the first time a masseuse worked on my shoulders, I almost moaned. That’s when I knew I had been starving.

Would you rather be in a relationship just for the physical affection?

Honestly, no. Relationships come with stress, and I don’t want to date just because I want to be touched. But will I book a spa session to trick my brain into thinking I’m loved? Yes, I will.

“Hug a pillow. It’s not the same, but it helps” — Amaka*, 30

When did you first realise you were touch-deprived?

I was watching a TikTok where someone said, “If you haven’t been hugged in six months, your body is literally starving for touch,” and I felt that in my soul.

How do you deal with it?

I have a ridiculously huge pillow that I sleep with every night. I wrap my entire body around it like I’m hugging a tree. It’s not the same as real human touch, but I can almost fool myself if I position it just right.

Would you rather be in a relationship just for the physical affection?

Sometimes, yes. I won’t lie, sometimes I consider getting into a situationship just to have someone to cuddle. But then I remember men will embarrass you, and I hug my pillow tighter.

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“Don’t rule out the gym, lots of casual touch” — Tunde*, 31

When did you first realise you were touch-deprived?

A few months ago, my female colleague touched my arm while laughing, and I swear, I felt it in my soul. I almost asked her to do it again.

How do you deal with it?

The gym. People don’t realise how much casual touch happens there. A pat on the back, a handshake, or someone spotting you while lifting weights helps. There’s no weirdness, and I don’t have to explain why I’m craving human contact.

Would you rather be in a relationship just for the physical affection?

Not at all. I enjoy my personal space and my peace. I just wish I could order casual hugs the way you order shawarma.

“Get you a platonic cuddle buddy” — Fatima*, 29

When did you first realise you were touch-deprived?

I’m the friend who always holds hands, hugs, or leans on people. But lately, my friends are in relationships, and nobody touches me like before. That’s when I knew I was down bad.

How do you deal with it?

I have a friend who’s also single, and we’ve made a pact to be each other’s “platonic cuddle buddies.” We’ll watch movies and just casually lean on each other. It sounds weird, but it helps. Also, I play with my own hair a lot. It’s a small thing, but it calms me.

Would you rather be in a relationship just for the physical affection?

I used to think no, but now? Maybe. I can’t be out here shaking over the lack of hand-holding.

“Get a haircut or pedicure session” — Qudus*, 26

When did you first realise you were touch-deprived?

I went for a haircut, and when my barber gently brushed off the loose hairs from my neck, I nearly melted. That’s when I knew my body was crying for touch.

How do you deal with it?

Regular haircuts. It sounds ridiculous, but there’s something about having someone literally care for you, even if it’s just shaping your fade. I also get pedicures sometimes—not because I care about my feet, but because I just like the feeling of human contact.

Would you rather be in a relationship just for the physical affection?

I’ve considered it. But then I remind myself that emotional stress is worse than being touch-deprived. I’ll just keep tipping my barber well.

While we hope these suggestions give you an idea of how to deal with touch deprivation, here’s an article with practical guides on how to hug yourself.

TAKE THIS QUIZ: When Next Will You Have Sex?
Everyone thinks single people are suffering. Every time, they are asked to show their partners, as if there is no value to staying single. For those who want to know, here are 8 things you gain from being single:

1. You get to chop your money by yourself.

It’s just you, spending on yourself with no man or woman coming to drag it with you.

2. No one steals your clothes.

You can rest assured that your hoodies and cute t-shirts will remain just where you kept them.

3. No one disturbs your sleep.

You don’t have to wait for one person to sleep off before you sleep too. You sleep whenever you want and wake up whenever you want.

4. No one steals your food.

Whenever you go to a restaurant, you don’t have to worry about someone eating from your plate. You are your own competition, dear. Enjoy it.

5. You can sleep with the whole world.

And there will be no one to hold you back.

6. You don’t have to fight anybody for pressing the toothpaste from the middle.

Unless you do it, so you have to fight yourself.

7. You don’t have to buy two pieces of anything.

Because it’s just you and you alone. Except you want the two items for yourself, sha.

8. And last but not least, your orgasm is assured.

You yourself will have to bring yourself to the pleasure land. And if you last one minute or thirty seconds, nobody is going to hold you or tweet about you. So, why no choose singleness today?

If you are in a relationship, this one is for you:

10 Ways To Make A Nigerian Woman Spend Her Money On You

Thank us later.

[donation]
“Why are you single” seems to be the new million dollar question for busy bodies and lifestyle detectives in Nigeria. Because silly questions deserve equally silly answers we’ve coined 5 bomb responses you can easily reach for the next time anybody asks you.

Why are you single? – Because nobody is worthy.

Yasssss, there’s a geng named “too fab for commitment” and I hold chair lady position so go figure.

Jesus is the only man for me.

Jesus is the only man I need. And I hope you know he sacrificed his life for me so our bond is pretty tight.

I am actually waiting in line for your boo. So let me know when it’s over.

This is for the people in relationships who keep badgering you about your single status. This response will put an end to their badgering and most likely your friendship with them too. Which would probably be a good deal.

Oops, nobody told me it was against the law to be single.

People be acting like staying single is a known way to break the law. Well i’m single so sue me.

Why are you so obsessed with me? Don’t you have a life to live? What’s the obsession with mine about?

For the nosy people who have a trouble with minding their own business.

My soulmate is still stuck in traffic somewhere in the world. I was even planning on borrowing yours while i wait.

I actually ordered for a boyfriend but the package is still in quarantine. Which store did you get yours from?

Since silly questions are now the order of the day.

While you’re still here we need you feedback on our “What she said” pieces. We know you love them and we would love a review from you. Click here.

“Book regular massages, it’s a touch cheat code” — Ayo* 27

When did you first realise you were touch-deprived?

How do you deal with it?

Would you rather be in a relationship just for the physical affection?

“Hug a pillow. It’s not the same, but it helps” — Amaka*, 30

When did you first realise you were touch-deprived?

How do you deal with it?

Would you rather be in a relationship just for the physical affection?

“Don’t rule out the gym, lots of casual touch” — Tunde*, 31

When did you first realise you were touch-deprived?

How do you deal with it?

Would you rather be in a relationship just for the physical affection?

“Get you a platonic cuddle buddy” — Fatima*, 29

When did you first realise you were touch-deprived?

How do you deal with it?

Would you rather be in a relationship just for the physical affection?

“Get a haircut or pedicure session” — Qudus*, 26

When did you first realise you were touch-deprived?

How do you deal with it?

Would you rather be in a relationship just for the physical affection?

1. You get to chop your money by yourself.

2. No one steals your clothes.

3. No one disturbs your sleep.

4. No one steals your food.

5. You can sleep with the whole world.

6. You don’t have to fight anybody for pressing the toothpaste from the middle.

7. You don’t have to buy two pieces of anything.

8. And last but not least, your orgasm is assured.

10 Ways To Make A Nigerian Woman Spend Her Money On You

Why are you single? – Because nobody is worthy.

Jesus is the only man for me.

I am actually waiting in line for your boo. So let me know when it’s over.

Oops, nobody told me it was against the law to be single.

Why are you so obsessed with me? Don’t you have a life to live? What’s the obsession with mine about?

My soulmate is still stuck in traffic somewhere in the world. I was even planning on borrowing yours while i wait.

I actually ordered for a boyfriend but the package is still in quarantine. Which store did you get yours from?