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  • Another week of surviving capitalism and T-Pain has come and gone. But what’s before us isn’t just any weekend. Friday is salary payment day, AKA the 9-5ers’ favourite day of the month. In the excitement and thrills of that credit alert that carries your company or employer’s name in its note, we made a playlist of Nigerian songs that justify your hard work and spending habits.

    You only live once, dear. Enjoy your money, enjoy your life.

    Billions — Sarz and Lojay

    As a 9-5er, as you get up from bed on the 25th of any month, this song should be the first to play because you’re waking up to money. It’s the strongest motivation.

    Money — Adekunle Gold

    It’s only right to desperately call on money like AG did in the song’s chorus, especially when you’ve been praying for the salary week to come faster and the payment day finally arrives, but you’re still waiting for the alert. 

    Squander — Falz feat. Niniola

    Now that money has entered your bank account, it’s perfectly okay to get your shoulders up and lavish on cravings. After all, you worked for it.

    Commas — Ayra Starr

    It’s a great feeling when your salary reflects the work you do. Even greater if the money still covers major expenses in this T-Pain era.

    HEHEHE — Rema

    This is your moment of ultimate flex on our debts, opps (if you have any) and all the cravings you’ve denied yourself before salary entered. They can be sorted now. What’s not to laugh at?

    All My Money — Kashcoming

    “All my money, take all my money to” is the most repetitive line in this song. We don’t support unwise financial decisions, but you shouldn’t deny yourself what you love to spend on.

    Uhh Yeahh — Asake

    If clubbing is how you unwind, take out that salary and go enjoy some overpriced drinks and loud music. You’ll never be a big baller until you ball big.

    Whatever that means, the mood here’s a big “We are outside tonighttttt!”

    Aye Nlo — Masterkraft and CDQ

    This song tells me not to think too much about spending. Don’t worry about the house or car you could have built or bought if you didn’t spend your money on shawarma and other cravings. Enjoyment won’t pause for you.

    Bank Alert — Ice Prince feat. Sarkodie, Magneto & Rexxie

    If your ego (money) matches your ego, then by all means, flex it. In the famous words of Sarkodie, “Money no be problem.”

    Owo — Reminisce

    If your mood is spending cash like It’s an Owambe party, this Reminisce’s neo-Fuji jam is your fix.

    Listen here:

  • Don’t get excited

    Why are you expressing joy? That’s a sign that things are soft and you have money. Don’t do it. You need to make the people who’ll bill you think there’s no money on ground.

    Stay inside

    Out of sight is out of mind. People can only bill you when they see you. If you stay inside this week, you’ll definitely escape billing.

    If you must go outside, frown

    If you have a resting ‘vexed’ face, put it on. Let people know they’re taking a risk by asking for anything.

    Or print your account number on a shirt

    It’s cheaper to just stay inside. But who knows? Maybe you might get fuel money for another week if you try this.

    Put your phone on DND

    This is a good time to unplug for the month. There’s money, so you can put your phone on do-not-disturb for a week without feeling like you’re playing with fire.

    Complain about Nigeria on Twitter

    We all know things are more expensive now. That’s why you need to actively complain about the increasing cost of living on Twitter so no one mistakenly comes near you.

    Bill them first

    Identify the people who are most likely to bill you, and bill them first. Preempt their move before they make it. You don’t need the money, but it definitely works if you want to keep these people away.

    Use your bank as an excuse

    Tell them your bank app has issues and you can’t log into it. If you’re using a Nigerian bank, chances are you won’t be lying to them. 

    NEXT READ: 14 Signs Your Partner Isn’t Your Best Friend 

  • Feel free.


  • When you’re broke but still need to go to work

    If you’re not working remotely, this is the genesis of your problems.

    And you don’t have a car but still need to pay for transportation

    Two options:  you can either call in sick or pretend it’s the weekend.

    When you try to borrow from people but they’re broke too

    Everyone else is waiting for their salaries too.

    And you start to convince yourself that it’s only a few more days before your salary drops

    It’s the hope that kills, but you have to stay alive till it comes.

    You start budgeting because you’ve finally realized that you need to do better with money

    All those money skills that only work when there’s no actual money.

    You start to regret your terrible spending habits

    You flashback to the times when you were (acting like) a baller.

    Salary day comes, it’s 2 pm, and the alert still hasn’t dropped

    The anxiety is second to none.

    You also can’t go home because how will you trek from Yaba to Berger?

    This is where you start pretending to work late but you’re actually losing your mind.

    Your salary finally drops and you breathe a sigh of relief

      Your enemies have been put to shame.

    Then you forget your budget and start spending like you’re Otedola’s long lost child

    Budget who? You’ve suffered too much to not spend this money.

    NEXT READ: A Case for Doing the Barest Minimum at Work