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Considering that there’s an entire station on DStv dedicated to epic movies, you would think that Nollywood would’ve nailed the art of making them.

No. No they haven’t.

If the movie isn’t about going into an evil forest to get some magical MacGuffin to save their village (it was fun the first two times), then it’s about a patriarch’s family members fighting amongst themselves about who gets to succeed him while they wait for him to die.

They keep making the exact same storylines with different casts even though there’s enough material in our mythology to make whole ass franchises. Imagine it: a shared cinematic universe with gods from the African pantheon as characters. Kinda like 2016’s “Gods Of Egypt,” but not as terrible.

Here are five Yoruba deities whose stories – if done right – would make entertaining movies.

*Because a ton of stories exist for each character in mythology, I’ll be picking the stories that’ll work best as movies.

Oduduwa:

POTENTIAL PLOT: Before becoming the king of the Yorubas, he and his younger brother, Obatala, were sons of Olorun (god of creation). Obatala asked their father to create a new realm (Earth as we know now it). Olorun is like, “Okay” and gives him a shell full of magical soil to get things going. Obatala actually does the damn thing (creates mountains, valleys etc) but gets distracted when he discovers alcohol and becomes too shit-faced to finish the job.

Angered by his son’s new status as the world’s first alcoholic, Olorun sends his other son, Oduduwa, to salvage the mission. Oduduwa does this and makes himself king of the city of Ile-Ife and Obatala is not pleased.

I don’t know about you but I would watch a “Clash Of The Titans” style thing where Oduduwa tries to rule over Ile-Ife in peace while Obatala raises hell every opportunity he gets. And then we get random shots of Olorun in his sky palace sighing and wondering why the hell he didn’t just go do this himself.

Sango:

Sango was the third Alaafin of Oyo. He was the second son of Oranmiyan, the founder of the Oyo Empire, and the youngest grandson of Oduduwa. He had three wives; Oba (the first wife), Oshun (the second), and Oya (the third and technically a concubine because no bride price or dowry was paid).

POTENTIAL PLOT: The third wife Oya was said to be a spirit who had the ability to transform into animals and summon rain. Together with Sango’s thunderbolt, they have many victories together in battle, leading to her becoming his favourite wife and keeper of the thunderbolt. Oba and Oshun become hella jealous. (More on that in the next entry).

A couple of generals in Sango’s army start moving mad and he decided to show them who’s boss, so he goes to get his thunderbolt from Oya but finds it covered in period blood. (An act of sabotage carried out Oba and Oshun.) Super pissed, he goes to a mountain top to make sure the thunderbolt still works right, accidentally calling thunder so powerful, it destroys his palace AND KILLS HIS ENTIRE FAMILY.

Ok. He didn’t kill his family. That was me making the story more exciting for audiences (like how Hollywood did with the story of Noah).

Oba, Oshun, and Oya (Sango’s Wives)

Some variations of their story say that the first two wives, Oba ad Oshun, were jealous of the third wife, Oya because she was Sango’s favourite. This led to them doing all they could to make life terrible for Oya (and sometimes, each other).

POTENTIAL PLOT: After Sango brings Oya home and she becomes his favourite, Oba and Oshun vow to frustrate her out of their home. What they don’t know is that Oya is a spirit with special powers of her own. What will follow is a romantic comedy where Oya, after playing nice at the beginning, messes with the other wives in hilarious ways after finding out about their jealousy for her. Will this movie completely fail the Bechdel test? Yes. But what movie does these days?

A Cross Over Involving Everyone!

RIGHT?!!

Imagine an Avengers-style team up of all the gods working together to save mankind from some terrible threat brought about by Eshu (the trickster god) in his quest for power and respect.

The threat could be titans! Are there titans in Yoruba myth? It doesn’t matter. We can make it work. .
WARNING: AVENGERS ENDGAME SPOILERS AHEAD.

Also, it’s been out for two weeks already. If you haven’t seen it, what have you been doing with your life?

So after 11 years, 22 movies, and over $20 BILLION, the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s “Infinity Saga” has come to an end.

Yay 🙌

However, having watched the movie twice since it was released, I’m here to demand answers to several questions Endgame raised with its own plot and logic. Questions like:

1. After present day Nebula realized that 2014 Thanos knew about the Avengers’ entire plan (due to her memory connection with 2014 Nebula), why didn’t she just leave 2014 with Rhodey?

Seriously. If she had just gone back to the present with Rhodey, Thanos would’ve had no way to follow. I mean, he would’ve found out about the plan (quantum realm and all) but without access to the technology, he would’ve had no way to follow them.

I stan Nebula but homegirl fucked up sha.

2. Why didn’t Nebula inform the Avengers that getting the soul stone from Vormir requires human sacrifice?

In Infinity War, when all the characters on Titan ambush Thanos and attempt to take the gauntlet from him, Mantis puts Thanos in a trance and realizes that he is in mourning. Starlord asks what Thanos could possibly be mourning and Nebula puts 2+2 together to reveal what we (the audience) had already witnessed.

That he killed Gamora to get the soul stone.

So tell me why Nebula left out that super important detail when she informed them of the soul stone’s location. She even gave that depressing speech during the planning session. Nawa oh.

3. Do you realize how insane it is that out of the 14,000,605 possible futures that Dr Strange saw, the only one that spelt victory for the Avengers involved a rat accidentally flicking a switch?

Antman is the most important character in Endgame because he if never got out of the quantum realm, there would’ve been no one to tell the Avengers about its time travel capabilities. So it’s just really lazy that the writers couldn’t figure out a better explanation for Antman’s escape than “rat accidentally flicks switch.”

4. Is no one worried about the ruined 2012 timeline where the Avengers let Loki get away with the tesseract after the battle of New York?

The Ancient One gave the Hulk strict instructions to return the infinity stones to their respective timelines after they were done using them, to avoid destroying the futures of said timelines. So tell me why no one gave a shit that Loki disappeared with the tesseract after their botched mission to get the space stone. They didn’t even give it a second thought. They just went to the 1940s in another timeline to take the stone from there.

5. What happened to 2014 Gamora?

Present day Nebula was able to convince 2014 Gamora to turn on Thanos and fight with the good guys. We see her kicking ass on the battlefield and save Star Lord’s life even. But when Star-Lord attempts to touch her face (thinking she’s the Gamora he knows), she kicks him in the nuts and walks away, disgusted.

That’s the last time we see her.

By the movie’s end, we see Star-Lord using his ship’s systems to scan for signs of her life force but he finds nothing. So, what happened? Did Tony’s snap affect her too?

6. How do you think Captain America reacted when he ran into Red Skull on Vormir?

You know this definitely happened. Before deciding to spend a lifetime with Peggy, Cap was tasked with returning the stones to their proper timelines. This would’ve made a hilarious post-credits scene. Marvel missed an opportunity with this one.
I was in junior secondary school when El Cuerpo Del Desco (Second Chance) premiered on AIT (aka the home of telenovelas in Nigeria) and made 80% of the country lose their damn minds.

Not me though. I never saw it.

A lot of people claimed they loved it because of the storyline but I think it was because of the extremely good-looking cast. Specifically, the actor who played the main character, Salvador.

Now, even though I never watched it, I heard details about it. Enough details to pique my curiosity, but not enough to actually watch the show. So now I have questions.

Questions like:

Where did original Salvador’s soul go when Pedro’s soul took over his body?

Let’s even excuse how fucking rude it is to just knock someone out of their body and take over their life for months. Where did original Salvador’s soul go when Pedro’s soul took over? Limbo? Do you realize how mad confusing and terrifying that must’ve been for him?! Jesus Christ.

Seeing as the show never gave an explanation for what happened, can we assume that it was a mistake made by the angel(s) who handle(s) afterlife proceedings for the recently deceased?

Is this a thing that happens often? If so, heaven really needs performance reviews for its staff. What if he had woken up in a poor person’s body in a country thousands of miles away (as opposed to someone close by)? He never would’ve found his way home.

If it wasn’t a mix-up, why did Pedro (of all the people that die every day) get this opportunity?

Is it because the angels in charge knew he had family secrets to uncover and wanted the problematic events to play out for their entertainment? Ugh, I love messy celestial beings that live for drama!

I heard that Pedro’s much younger wife, Isabel, kills herself and Salvador at the end so they can be together in the afterlife. What if they ended up going to different places?

I mean, she did cheat on Pedro with his employee and married said employee not long after Pedro died. Only for her to MURDER THE EMPLOYEE after she set her sights on a young, hot farmhand named Salvador (possessed by Pedro’s soul). All I’m saying is, she clearly wasn’t a good person, and her going off to lover’s paradise with Pedro at the end was bullshit.

Did anybody even care what original Salvador’s family went through the entire time he wasn’t with them?

Original Salvador’s wife on the phone with the police when he didn’t come home that night.

I mean, they had no idea where he was or what happened. All they knew is that he went to work one day and never came home. Did he run out on them? Did he die? He was the family’s sole provider for God’s sake. Pedro is such a douche for not even sending them money at least.
Singer/songwriter Oluchi first began to take music seriously after she left Project Fame in 2016.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BIktrz2A8HS/

She had made it to the top 10 but it wasn’t her day or her edition.

“I had been making music since after secondary school but I started taking it seriously after (Project Fame),” she tells me.

Her first release, “Chi Ihunanya” came shortly after in the same year.

The song, produced by YBNL’s in-house beatmaker, Pheelz is an African contemporary folk song about a woman’s search for love.

It was Oluchi’s foot in the water – and you can hear the early form of what she now describes as her “Afro-Soul” sound taking shape.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bbt-kAtB6oO/

Love and the people she shares it with are key themes in Oluchi’s music. She’s not afraid to tell deeply personal stories.

On “xxxx”, an unreleased track from her forthcoming EP, she recalls her mother’s sacrifices.

It is brutally thankful, as a grateful child would do to a mother she adores but with a tinge of anxiety as if she worries if she could deliver on the faith shown in her.

Recently, Oluchi has been spending her time chasing her Master’s Degree.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BtGsgWIg-c9/

It’s been a good couple of months but that chapter is done now.

And it’s back to her first love.

She’s currently working on her debut EP.

It’s set for release sometime this year. Here’s what we can tell you.

Just. Wait.
The search for the next big voice in Nigeria has been on for the past for one month. With each episode of The Voice, the excitement mounts, and we can’t wait to find out which of the talented contestants will sing their way to the grand finale.

Here are some of the most exciting moments you dare not miss if you love yourself a good show and some enjoyment.

1. The danger zone

Amidst the fun and excitement, there are tense moments. You never know which team your fave contestant is going to select, which coach us going to steal who, or who will not make it out of the danger zone. Phew.

2. The performances

When the contestants emerge all glammed up and ready to face the battle, you can’t help but be wowed. Talent overload!

3. The coaches dramatic entrances

From coach, Falz to Dare, Waje and Yemi Alade, each judge keeps you rivetted with their dramatic entrances every single time.

4. The humourous moments

With Falz as part of the coaches, there’s no way you’d keep a straight face all through the show. You must shine teeth small. Lol!

5. The grand finale

Who will emerge as the ultimate star of the show, and from which team? The excitement is building as we get ready to find out.

Last weekend was filled with intense moments as talents from #TeamWaje took to the stage to delight us with powerful performances.

In the end, @Officialwaje walked away with 3 super-talented talents moving to the battles, while @yemialadee stole one talent from the team. pic.twitter.com/rd4Gu5xoZZ
— The Voice Nigeria (@thevoice_NGR) May 24, 2021

Don’t miss out this on The Voice Nigeria this weekend. Catch the show by 9pm on Saturdays and the repeat broadcast 8pm on Sundays on Airtel TV.
Despite the scorching sun that spread over Lagos on Sunday, I made my way to Bud Fest, live at La Madisson Place, a Budweiser-sponsored party that marked the end of the 2022/2023 English Premier League (EPL) season. It was a unique experience; I watched football and partied hard. I can’t remember the last time I lost my voice due to a rave. Here’s how it went down.

Immediately the show started, the host Toby Shang introduced himself, the lovely DJ DayZee whose set didn’t fail us, and the opening act Byno. All the couples in the building were awwwning, acting all cute and holding hands during his beautiful performance. I wasn’t jealous sha, I just held onto the cold can of Budweiser that welcomed me at the entrance.

Afterwards, another artiste known as Lenny D also performed. Then Toby Shang, the self-acclaimed King of Vibes came to ginger us for the final EPL’s last matches of the season.

After watching the Man City vs Brentford match for a while, we switched to Chelsea vs Newcastle United, then finally, Arsenal’s match against Wolverhampton. Though most of the viewers already knew who topped and won the League, there was good-natured banter about Arsenal’s old chance of winning and Chelsea’s fight for pride. The matches were intense but entertaining.

Manchester City won the finals, and when the match ended, all the Man City fans in the building were called on to celebrate their feat as champions of the League; they even had a mock stage and EPL Cup. I was hating from my seat because my club didn’t even make it to the semi finals. But it didn’t last long, because a lip sync competition followed and people came on stage to perform their favourite artiste’s songs. The way most of them were chopping their mouths had me laughing at the ridiculousness.

After the lip sync battle, the main PARTY started!

Khaiid got on stage and performed his hit track, “Carry Me Go” featuring Mavin artiste Boy Spyce who was next on stage. He also performed “Carry Me Go” followed by his latest single, “Relationship”. Labelmates Magixx and Crayon followed to give us fantastic solo performances before their collective performance of their label hit song, “Won Da Mo”. I sang along at the top of my voice.

While we were still recovering from the Mavin’s performance; is when OdumoduBlvck, a fast-rising artiste, got on stage next. The charismatic artiste accepted his mum’s video-call when he was on stage and shared the spectacular moment with the audience.

Reekado Banks performed last, ending the Fest with a series of hit singles that made us scatter the dancefloor. His energetic performance reminded us he is still HIM.

The party was an epic way to end the epic football season. The experience at Bud Fest proved it’s the number one go-to for anything that intersects football, music and fun. Budweiser showed solid support for the football community. The Fest encourages the fans to come together to enjoy the great game, vibe to good music and have a fantastic time.