There are so many activities you can do for pride month without breaking the bank. From planning a picnic, speed dating or binge-watching queer movies. Here are seven fun activities you should try this Pride Month.
Organise a picnic with your friends
Write the names of all seven colours of the rainbow on individual stripes of paper. Make everyone pick a colour randomly and then have them bring food items in that exact colour and dress up in the same colour. If your friend group isn’t up to seven, invite more people — the more, the merrier.
Invite your friends to a party where they have to dress as their favourite musician
You don’t even have to spend much money. Ask everyone to come with something to share with others. Set up karaoke and have them sing along to the musician they’re dressed as. Nothing says pride like a bunch of queer people singing Odunsi (The Engine’s) “wicked, sexy!” at the top of their lungs
Go to a poetry night
For queer people that enjoy reading and listening to poetry, you can attend any poetry night event or even host one yourself. Be ready to cry, laugh and have an all-around good experience listening to people’s stories and struggles.
Invite friends to binge-watch queer movies
You don’t need Pride to watch queer movies, of course, but Pride Month just makes binge-watching with your chosen family feel extra special. You have thirty whole days to go through as many full-length films, short films and animated films as possible. Be ready for the loud laughter, the God-when’s, and the tears.
Attend online pride events
For people that can’t physically attend any event, you can live vicariously through an online Pride celebration. Just talking and being in the presence of people that understand you makes all the difference.
Do something nice for someone
You can donate to a safe house or any GoFundMe of your choice. Buy queer books for younger queer kids, and write letters to your friends or those your social media mutuals. Think of Pride as queer Christmas.
Buy Pride merch from queer-owned companies
It may cost a little more to patronise small queer businesses but think of it as giving back to the cause. Buy as many accessories or flags as you can afford for friends and try to have a good time.
If you notice that you’ve been making any of the gestures mentioned in this article for a while, you’re not alone. But remember not to do some of them in public sha.
Covering your mouth when you laugh
Koreans cover their mouth when they laugh as a sign of respect. If you’ve watched a lot of K-drama, you may have copied this habit subconsciously. Sha don’t do it in front of older Nigerians before they tell you that you think their mouth is smelling.
In K-drama, the main characters slap their heads a lot. As a Nigerian, adopting this would probably come easy because older people have randomly hit your head since you were a child to date, what difference does it make if you now do it on your own? Make sure you say, “Aish,” after slapping your head for added effect.
Flicking peoples heads
Flicking people’s heads is the Korean version of knocking someone’s head in a friendly manner in Nigeria. Does it hurt? Yes, but it’s not your fault you learned bad thing. Everybody go dey alright.
Clapping when you laugh
As a k-drama fan, it’s not strange to find yourself clapping while you laugh. No, you haven’t been possessed. You’re just copying what you’ve been watching. As a Nigerian sha, be careful how you do it outside before they think you’ve lost your mind.
Throwing the peace sign
One day you saw your favourite character in a drama series throw the peace sign, and now you can’t pose for a single picture without doing the same. Don’t worry. You’re not alone. Plus, it’s super cute.
Making a heart with your whole body
The transition from doing this as a K-drama fan to a K-pop fan is insane. All your friends are sick of you posing this way in every picture. Not us, though. We’d take pictures with you any day.
Making two fists and shouting, “Fighting!”
You can’t imagine yourself cheering someone on without making a fist and shouting, “Fighting!” as loud as you can. How else will your friends know that you believe in them?
Bowing your head before receiving things from people
People probably think you’re the most respectful person they’ve ever met, especially if you live in a Yoruba-dominated city. But don’t overdo it sha, because some people deserve to be disrespected. Don’t let your head stop you from giving it to them hot-hot.
Have you ever watched a romantic film with the relationship of your dreams and it suddenly clicked that you deserve more, or that your expectations aren’t too high? I picked seven Nigerian movies that will make you raise your standards for love.
Isoken
Isoken remained single at 34 in a Nigerian household, and when she finally falls in love, it is with a white man. Anyone willing to overcome their family and parents’ conventional beliefs to be with you is definitely a green flag.
Do you realise how brave you must be to recognise that your Igbo and Indian parents act irrationally when it comes to marriage, and then try to go against them? You may have a death wish, but there is nothing more romantic than defying your parents’ desires for the sake of love.
The Royal Hibiscus Hotel
If a man doesn’t come to buy my family’s legacy hotel, fall in love with me in a week, plan the most elaborate date and then buy said hotel just to give it back, I don’t want. Watching this movie will remind you that Nigerian men can be romantic, and maybe it’s time to dump that guy in your dms who texts you once in three days.
Flower Girl
Nothing is cuter than a woman trying to reinvent herself for a dumb man with the help of a friend and then falling in love with herself. But that isn’t why we’re here. Do you realise how hopelessly in love you must be to have a daughter like the protagonist Dami? Her parents stole the show with how adorable their relationship was. They were both nosy about their daughter’s love life. They bullied each other like friends and made me feel like you could hack this love thing if you just marry your best friend.
The Wedding Party
Never mind Dunni and Dozie’s snooze fest of a love story; instead, focus on Dunni’s parents’ connection instead of. A Nigerian woman who didn’t kill her husband for making them impoverished again, a man who supports all of his wife’s rights and wrongs, and parents who were willing to call off the wedding at any time for their child? Come on. I don’t care for the part where they started from the bottom and are now at the top, but look at Dunni’s and Dozie’s parents and tell me why these guys shouldn’t be the standard.
Blood Sisters
I know that this movie isn’t about romance but hear me out: Yinka and Femi. That’s it. Were they extraordinarily foolish and good at making bad decisions? Yes, but at least they made it together as a couple. And how often do we see couples in films who are that devoted to one another? If they don’t raise your standards, they’ll at least increase your expectations for how much sex a married couple should have.
Telling my kid’s that this is Romeo and Juliet.
Knocking on Heaven’s Door
How many men would be willing to fight spiritual and physical battles to get you? Not a lot tbh and I don’t blame them. It was one thing for Majid Michel’s character to fight his addiction and get clean so that Adesuwa might give him a chance, but when he was ready to fight the church for her sake? Yessss! Have you ever had to fight people in a Nigerian church? is that not true love?
If you’re trying to get into the amazing world of K-pop, it can get a little confusing because there are many groups. You might already know BTS, BLACKPINK, Monsta X and TWICE, but here are ten other amazing K-pop bands you should know that’ll take your playlist to the next level.
TXT (Tomorrow X Together)
TXT is BTS’s younger group from the same entertainment company, so you’d be dulling if they weren’t on your playlist. Their sound is a mix of alternative R&B, pop-rock, and pop-punk. They have that good vibe that makes gloomy days feel brighter with their music. Add “Blue HOUR” and “Good Boy Gone Bad” to your playlist, and you won’t regret it.
If not for anything, add Stray Kids to your playlist for Felix’s deep ass voice on “Christmas EveL” and“God’s Menu”. Their sound is unique, and you just know they are funny because of how they play with their songs and album titles, e.g. “ODDINARY” and “NOEASY”, a play on ordinary and noisy. If you weren’t already a STAY, you’re about to become one.
Dreamcatcher
Dreamcatcher has the most unique video concepts in K-pop girl groups, with their mysterious horror and fantasy fusion visuals. While they have a couple of dance-pop songs, they mostly dabble with rock and metal. Having them on your next playlist is proof of good taste.
ITZY
If you’re looking for girl boss music that will make you feel badass, ITZY has you covered. They work for those moments at 3 a.m. when you are manic and awake, and all you want to do is dance. If you listened to older bands like Miss A, you’d appreciate ITZY’S music. You may have heard “LOCO” or “Not Shy” on a random K-pop radio, but take this as a recommendation, if not.
Any good playlist should have a mix of different songs, and what better way to shake up your playlist than with a song by (G)I-DLE? They have a song for every genre under the sun, and their music is an effortless blend of everything from house, Latin pop and hip-hop. Do yourself a favour and add “TOMBOY” by them to your playlist.
EXO
Get ready to stan. That’s just it. EXO has wholly mastered the fine art of sexy R&B with their vocals, bad boy vibes, and music video concepts that are out of this world. Start your morning listening to “The Eve” or “Love Shot”, and you’ll definitely have a good day.
NCT
Here’s the thing, NCT is a 23 member boy group divided into four units, NCT U, NCT Dream, NCT 127 and wayV. The bigger the group, the better the sound, right? The answer’s yes. Their genre is a fusion of hip hop, R&B, EDM and teen pop. You can’t go wrong with a song from each unit in your playlist. Also, if you’re a fan of Hotel Del LunaandTwenty-Five Twenty-One K-drama, you probably heard NCT’S vocals in their OST.
ATEEZ is basically the male version of Dreamcatcher. This group arguably had one of the most powerful debuts in K-pop history. They have strong vocals, powerful flows and intense choreography. Ever heard Koreans sing trap music? No? Well, you’re in for a ride. Add “Deja Vu” to your playlist today for clear skin.
ENHYPEN
ENHYPEN has that rainy day vibe that makes you feel like you’re in a coming of age movie. It’s probably why their song “Polaroid Love” went viral on TikTok because every video under that sound just has good vibes. Whether it’s getting you into your feels with “FEVER” or preparing you for a good day with Polaroid Love, ENHYPEN works for any playlist.
Treasure
If you spend all your time on TikTok, chances are you already know one of their songs, “DARARI”. It went viral, and it’s not even the title track “JIK JIN” from the album. That’s just how good this young boy group is. Don’t be a dead guy; spice up your playlist with Treasure’s songs today.
Dating a k-drama fan is not as easy as you think. They’re obsessed with some of the most gorgeous people in the world, and you want to compete? Here are some cheat codes to help your case, don’t thank us too much.
Learn how to speak Korean
Hear me out. I’m not saying you should learn it all because that will take a while. Just remember some cute phrases here, a couple of popular expressions there, and you’re good to go. If you say, “sarangae,” to someone who watches k-drama and then do the finger heart, they will marry you.
Beg those babalawos in your Instagram DMs to change your looks. If they can’t help, perm your hair, comb it out, and pray to your ancestors. If everything else fails, maybe the thought will count.
Get into K-drama.
How do you think you’ll be able to have a conversation with them if you’ve never seen any k-drama? Even if you want to cheat in an exam, you will read small na. Also, don’t just watch the popular ones. Try watching the not-so-popular ones for extra points.
Always have an umbrella
You have to own an umbrella, and it has to be yellow. I promise it’s a thing. You never know when it’ll rain out of the blue, and you can hand your umbrella to them while you walk away, soaking wet. A for alaye; you’ll win Best in Romanzz. Buy your umbrella today.
Upgrade your fashion sense
I know Nigeria is hot, but you need to buy lots of coats, suits and white shirts. If you can’t look like their K-drama idol, you can at least dress the part. Plus, what’s the harm in having a good sense of style? It’s a good side attraction.
Suppose you have lots of cash to spare, you can even buy fancy Korean noodles and invite them over to try different noodle recipes. To seal the deal, take your person to a mai shai and eat the noodles in his shop.
Learn how to cook at least 10 side dishes
Now that you’ve mastered all these, you have reached the ultimate boss. Korean side dishes are easy to make, and the money you’ll spend on the ingredients will be worth it because it’s marriage straight once you hack it.
Nigerians are the most expressive people in the world; don’t ask us how we know, but if you’ve never watched anime with a group of Nigerians, you’re missing out on a good time.
Here are seven reasons why watching anime with Nigerians is hilarious.
Every genre becomes comedy
The anime character will slice someone’s head, and one silly person will be like, “See as dem slice my guy head like goat.” it makes no sense, but everyone will burst into laughter. If you’ve been putting off watching a particular anime because it’s too scary, just invite a bunch of Nigerians to watch with you and be ready to laugh through the horror.
If a character has a big head, someone will suddenly remember to mention that it looks like their secondary school principal. Another person will tap the closest person to them and say, “No be your mama, be that?” Nigerians are rude.
The commentary is comedy gold
Nigerians can’t watch something and keep their thoughts and opinions to themselves, and anime will always give you a lot to talk about. If the hero is losing a fight, they’ll start encouraging them as if the hero can hear them. If the character is about to make stupid decisions, the insults they will receive will make you laugh till you fall sick.
Nigerians are always hyped up
Be ready to forget what happened in some episodes, because if the hero wins a big fight, people will start shouting or singing. The best thing you can do is to pause that anime and enjoy that hilarious moment where your friends are super-hyped for no reason. You don’t want to have to keep rewinding.
They are overdramatic as hell
If a side character dies, everyone will become solemn because one yeye person will now start saying shit like, “And he probably had a wife and kids at home oh! Chai, his family will be looking for him,” meanwhile, the character could be a 14-year-old orphan. Next thing you know, they’ll start trading their most painful anime character deaths because Nigerians love a good Sufferhead Olympics.
The moment they show a food scene, it’s over
Nigerians are competitive, especially when they shouldn’t be. The main character will be eating fancy-looking ramen with his friends, and someone will just be like, “Omo, I can make this thing na. Is it not noodles and egg with vegetables?” Then they’ll start talking about all the ways they make their noodles. Next thing you know, someone is cooking it to prove a point.
They can vex ehn
One minute you’ve paused your anime to talk about the mad fight scene you guys just watched, and the next moment somebody is insulting your dad because you called a character weak, it’s all jokes, though, and while it can be annoying at that moment, when you think back at the memory you’d surely laugh
Zikoko is launching a new series where we explore those friendships, familial and romantic relationships that are no longer sailing.
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness is finally out, and I’m living for the chaos. From Wanda serving Khaleesi realness as the Scarlet Witch to Doctor Strange finding out he has zero hoes across the multiverse, this movie gave us everything. Listening to Wanda talk about villains and heroes had me thinking: Why is it that when Nigerians practice witchcraft, it’s a sin, but when white people do it, it becomes an award-winning book series about teenagers fighting a bald agbaya that doesn’t have a nose?
This had me wondering what Doctor Strange’s adventures would look like in Nigeria. Here’s what I came up with.
1. Doctor Strange would’ve been a Yoruba man
Because only a Yoruba demon would think it makes sense to attend his ex’s wedding when he still likes her. He’s also technically the reason that the monster appeared — if the other universe’s Doctor Strange didn’t try to take America’s powers, she wouldn’t have freaked out and opened the portal by mistake. So he also ruined her wedding. Doctor Adekunle Strange, we see you and your gold chain.
2. Doctor Strange would’ve taken America to MFM the minute he realised The Scarlet Witch was after her
As Nigerians, we don’t mind doing a little ritualism or jazz, but when it’s about to backfire, we find our way back to the Holy Father. A real Nigerian man would’ve taken America to the nearest Mountain of Fire Ministries (MFM) the minute he found out Wanda was after her. Nothing like a good binding and casting session to remove bad luck from someone’s body.
3. Wong and the other sorcerers would’ve handed America over to Wanda the minute she showed up in her red jumpsuit
Imagine losing your friends and home for some random girl you just met yesterday, all because she says her name is America and she has some immigration powers she can’t even control. God forbid! Aunty Wanda, please take her. They would’ve literally tied her up and shipped her on a night bus to Wanda.
4. Buhari would’ve told Lai Mohammed to ban magic
Bubu doesn’t waste time with things like this. He might not sign an important bill on time, but he will definitely ban anything that stresses him. The minute witches and wizards start flying up and down without shame, Lai Mohammed will make an announcement on NTA sharp sharp. It won’t make a difference but when was the last time any policy from this government made a (positive) difference?
5. Wanda would’ve tried other means to get her children back
Mama Ibeji was really doing the most for her Powerpuff children she created using magic. Why didn’t she just remake them? It can’t be that hard. If the Wanda’s in other universes got it right, that means she could too.
6. Wong would’ve poisoned Dr Strange a long time ago
We love Dr Strange, but he’s always rude to Wong and constantly stresses that poor man out by doing things he’s not supposed to. Imagine how easy Wong’s life would be if Dr Strange gets taken out of the picture. There’s also the fact that Wong is superior in ranking, but Dr Strange keeps insulting him like he’s doing NYSC with the sanctum. Wong, it’s time to tap into your inner Chiwetalu Agu and make your life easier. No one will judge you.
7. Doctor Strange would’ve asked the Illuminati for a music career
Imagine meeting the same Illuminati that blew up Jay Z, Beyoncé, and Rihanna’s careers and not asking for them to do your own. American Doctor Strange might be white and slow, but the Nigerian version is a soji guy that knows that opportunity only comes but once. Wanda can carry Australia or whatever her name is. The time has come to win Grammys!
8. Wanda would’ve exited the temple before destroying it
So you want to tell me that the woman that turned Mr Fantastic into Golden Penny spaghetti can’t destroy a temple without leaving first? Marvel, y’all are detty liars. If Wanda was Nigerian, she would’ve gone a safe distance before blowing up that temple. Self preservation is important to us. Our existence might be hell lite but we love staying alive.
You can tell a lot about a queer person based on their favourite movies about women loving women. To save yourself from stress and eventual heartbreak, this should be on the list of first date questions. Keep reading to find out why.
D.E.B.S. (2004)
If you’ve seen and liked D.E.B.S, you’re usually the most interesting person in the room, and you know it.You mistakenly watched it as a child, thinking it was a spy movie and it guided you to the early realisation that you like women. You’re confident in a way that isn’t intimidating. Everyone thinks you’re a whore, but you’re actually in a committed relationship.
You’re that person in the community that has dated everyone’s ex. You grew up watching The L-Word and were either obsessed with Shane and grew up to be a serial heartbreaker, or you liked Jenny and write poetry for fun now. The most problematic thing about you is that you keep falling in love with straight women.
Rafiki
If you like Rafiki, you have the best taste in music, which has made you the supreme handler of the aux cord during hangouts. You believe in astrology don’t date certain star signs. You claim to hate drama, but you’re constantly at its centre. You’re willing to swim through the kiddie pool full of urine (the dating pool) as many times as it’ll take to find the one. Never change.
Handmaiden
You’re super intelligent and super intelligent and incredibly patient, which is understandable because you sat through the whole movie and had to read subtitles. You’re probably in therapy, which is good because you’re clearly going through a lot if you like Handmaiden. You’re adventurous and into kinky shit. You also lie a lot because you keep saying you watched Handmaiden for the plot. when we all know it has no plot and is basically high budget softcore porn.
But I’m a Cheerleader
You are outgoing with a good sense of humour. You make friends effortlessly, and you love a good enemy-to-lovers story. You also love drag race, but you haven’t gotten into it properly.
Carol
If your favourite lesbian movie is Carol, you only date older women for sport or as a form of self-harm. You still text your ex often and lie about it. You’ve also slept with half of your friends. These people are usually creative and can be a little eccentric, which is why people keep falling for them. You also have a wine addiction.
I am not saying you are a red flag if you like this movie, but the colour of your flag is not green. You’re all about the yearning and longing for love. You keep getting heartbroken by people who aren’t dating you. If there were an award for getting into situationships, you’d win it.
Elisa & Marcela
You say you like Elisa and Marcela because you are pretentious, and you like being the only one in the room that wants something “different” even though the only thing different about it is that it’s in black and white. You’ve also never been able to finish this movie because you only watched the sex scenes and avoided the trauma, and I stan.
The Happiest Season
The only reason anyone would like this movie is that they had a Twilight phase and are now obsessed with Kristen Stewart. Either that or you just really enjoy celebrating Christmas. You are super cute and want to do adorable things like wearing matching sweaters or making TikToks with your partner.
Prom
You don’t tell anyone you like this movie because everyone hates it, and you don’t like petty arguments. You watched this specifically for Meryl Streep because you want to date older women, but you’d never actively pursue one. You are also very romantic, and you still believe in fairytale types of love, which is precious.
Below Her Mouth
You are a baby gay. You don’t do relationships and just like to vibe, which is interesting because you also catch feelings quick. Below Her Mouth was probably your first lesbian film, and even though you’ve seen better, you’re still holding on to it. You thrive in toxic situations, and you like Blue is the Warmest Colour.
Zikoko is launching a new series where we explore those friendships, familial and romantic relationships that are no longer sailing.
It’s easy to shout “Afrobeats to the world” and talk about all the incredible artists breaking records these days, but the truth is that Nigerian music is nothing without its producers. With new age producers like P.Prime, Niphkeys, London, and Rexxie getting the praise they deserve It’s time to give flowers to some producers who started experimenting years ago and remain relevant to this day.
1. Young Jonn
Producing back to back hits for Olamide and Lil Kesh, Young Jonn quickly earned his title as “The wicked producer”, with the hits he made during his time with YBNL still being talked about today.. You’ve got to give it to the man responsible for Bobo.
Hits:Mama with Kiss Daniels, Story for the Gods with Olamide, Don’t Call Me Back with Lil Kesh and Biggest Backside with Davido.
2. Don Jazzy
Do we have to say anything here? The man is Don Jazzy. That’s enough.
Hits:Dorobucci, Oliver Twist with D’banj, Lift Off with Jay Z, Kanye West and Beyoncé, Bounce with Rema, Surulere with Dr Sid and Eminado with Tiwa Savage.
3. Masterkraft
It’s safe to say that Masterkraft has worked with all the big names in Nigerian music, from Wizkid to Bella Shmurda. Starting out making hits for Flavour and Bracket back in the day, Masterkraft has evolved into one of the most versatile producers in Nigeria. He even makes his own music now.
Hits:Jasi with Banky W, Fine Lady with Lynxx and Wizkid, Ukwu with Timaya, Kwarikwa with Flavour and Hallelu with Bella Shmurda and Zlatan.
4. Del B
Remember when Kcee had the world in his hands thanks to Limpopo in 2013? Del B is the producer we have to thank for that boppity bop. Famous for songs that incorporate highlife and makossa, Del B has continued to make hits year after year, Mad Over You, duh.
Hits:For Your Matter with Wizkid, Shake with Flavour, Reggae Blues by Harrysongs and Tilapia with Mr. Eazi.
Shizzi is the incredible producer responsible for giving us baby Davido hits like Dami Duro and Skelewu. He also worked on Wizkid’s Love My Baby and, more recently, Beyoncé’s The Gift. It’s giving range, and we’re here for it.
Hits:Blow My Mind with Davido and Chris Brown, Show You Off with Wurld and Who You Epp with Olamide and Wande Coal.
6. D’Tunes
You would have had to be living under a rock in 2012 if you didn’t hear or dance to Iyanya’s Kukure. After winning project fame years before, this was the song that finally put Iyanya on our radar. Fast Forward to 2013, and Sean Tizzle’s Sho Lee had become a bonafide hit. What do these songs have in common? D’tunes. The moment you heard, “It’s D’Tunes again o”, you just knew your waist was about to be destroyed. Good times for real.
Hits:Your Waist with Iyanya, Mama Eh with Sean Tizzle and For My Matter with Emma Nyra.
7. Cobhams Asuquo
Can you believe the same guy who produced Catch Cold by Maintain also produced Jailer by Asa and Strong Thing by Banky W? That’s Cobhams Asuquo‘s power. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a heartbreak song to make you cry hot tears or a love song to make your enemies say, “God, when?” When it comes to emotions, Cobhams is your guy.
Hits:If You Ask Me with Omawunmi, Ego with Djinee, No Lele with Dekunle Fuji and Iyawo Mi with Timi Dakolo.
8. Spax
Show Dem Camp has always been on another level when it comes to ballsy rap music. And while they teased us with Feel Alright in 2013, nothing prepared us for 2018’s Palmwine Music Vol.1, and we have Spax to thank for that. Known for blurring the lines between alté and pop, Spax has created magic with everyone from rap kings like Lynxx and M.I to new stars like Tems and Oxlade.
Hits:Up to You with Show Dem Camp and Funbi, Marry Me with Falz and Yemi Alade, DKT with Oxlade and Damages with Tems.
9. Legendary Beatz
If these two decide to retire and invest in Akara or Crypto, we won’t be surprised. Do you know what it means to be the group behind hits like Ojuelegba and Essence? These two not only produced Wizkid’s biggest hits, they indirectly produced two of Nigeria’s biggest hits. That’s on periodt!
Hits:Caro with L.A.X and Wizkid, Ibadi with MayD, Take Care of Me with Skales and Crazy with Seyi Shay and Wizkid.
10. Sarz
When Sarz says he’s not your mate, you better believe him. From the moment he dropped Beat of Life (Samba) with Wizkid in 2013, we knew this guy would be a big problem. Since then, he has worked alongside Niniola to make Afrohouse a thing with hits like Maradona, also producing songs for Drake and Beyoncé. When he’s not dropping thirst traps these days, he’s dropping mad ass EPs with artists like Obongjayar, Lojay and Wurld.
Hits:Come Closer with Wizkid and Drake, Bad Energy with Skepta and Wizkid, MAD with Wurld, If You Say with Obonjayar and Monalisa with Lojay.
Some of you have coconut heads and will decide to take these as recommendations. Don’t do it. We’re trying to warn you about the possibility of sleepless nights. It will end in tears.
Devilman Crybaby
Akira, the protagonist, woke up after a night of clubbing and was double everyone’s height, could run super fast and had a demon living inside him. Clearly, this anime was written by a Nigerian parent to stop people from going to clubs. After watching this, you just might.
Berserk was definitely written by one of those secondary school seniors because half of those villains were giving Lady Koi Koi energy. Both the manga and the anime are so unhinged that only a crazy person would watch or read them before going to bed.
Attack on Titan
Is this anime greater than semo? Maybe. Will it scar you? Yes, for life. You don’t know bad dreams until you’ve seen a Titan eat a human being and chew them like hot suya. They’re terrifying to look at, and even though this anime has more to offer than naked Titans eating humans for fun, it doesn’t make it any less scary.
The moment any anime starts with a quiet-looking boy and his equally quiet parents, expect the worst, and Parasyte did not disappoint. Imagine casually walking with a parasite that has taken over your left hand and has a mind of its own. Even though they become a superhero duo fighting other parasites, you’ll never get used to someone’s head randomly exploding in the first episode.
Tokyo Ghoul
If violence and blood are not your thing, you best skip this anime because it has lots of that. The scenes in this anime always occur at night, which is a big red flag. The music that plays during fight scenes alone will give you a heart attack. The main character, Kaneki, was frequently tortured and had parts of his body amputated. Think of those videos Nigerian parents like sharing on WhatsApp, and it’s worse than that.
Elfin Lied
Elfin Lied doesn’t even give you space to breathe with the horror, gore and blood. It’s about the complicated relationship between humans and diclonius, who are mutant humans with horns. The anime starts with kids killing a puppy that belongs to Lucy, the first diclonius, and it goes downhill. Lucy, of course, goes insane from all the torture she went through and now rips up limbs for fun. Please don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Death note
A human with the power to kill anyone with a book and pen, omo? To make matters worse, his sidekick looks like all of Nigeria’s problems on meth. Watch this and be ready for your mount zion films level sleepless nights.
Demon slayer
Demon slayer is mostly funny and full of adventure until the demons come out. Since the title warns you, you’d think that you’d know what to expect, but no, these demons look like the ones your Nigerian mum warns you to pray against, except not even prayers can save you from them. A word is enough for the wise.
