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  • After three long months, Real Housewives of Lagos is over, and we don’t know what to do with ourselves anymore. The spin-off of Bravo’s Real Housewives franchise was a massive hit that introduced Nigerians to the dramatic and opulent lives of its six titular characters. We all picked faves as the show progressed, but what does our choice of housewife say about us on a deeper level? 

    Let’s find out. 

    Laura Ikeji-Kanu

    Sis, not only do you love drama, YOU ARE THE DRAMA. In your friend group, you’re the one person who has fought with everyone else. You love attention and won’t stop until you get it, whether or not you ruin the vibe for everyone else. However, as much as your friends secretly hate you, they can’t do without you. Your wahala is the only fun thing they have going on in their lives; without it, they’d be bored to death. 

    Chioma Ikokwu 

    People either hate or love you; there’s no in-between. You have everything from the looks to the money and style, and you know you’re the shit. Your confidence is great, but sometimes, it prevents you from taking accountability for your fuck ups. In your friend circle, you’re the one who always shows up for a hangout two hours late and without a reasonable explanation. Do better, sis!

    Caroline/Carol/Carolyna Hutchings 

    You’re the queen of your little kingdom, and no one can tell you shit about it. You’re borderline narcissistic, but there’s a sweet side to you very few people have access to. There’s also a high chance you’ve rebranded so many times that most of your friends can’t even spell your name correctly. You seem calm and proper, but when someone messes with you, you’re not above dragging them and their family (especially their family). 

    RECOMMENDED: I Watched The Season Finale of The Real Housewives of Lagos So You Don’t Have To

    Iyabo Ojo 

    Honestly, you’re unproblematic. You know your head is not alright, so you avoid fighting with people before you remove their eyelashes. Your definition of a good time is instigating fights between your friends so you can grab popcorn and enjoy the drama. Even though everyone knows you will open their bumbum in public, they still feel comfortable sharing their deepest darkest secrets with you. You love a good time and hate it when Gen Zs greet you with “Sir”, “Ma”, or “Aunty”. Ewww. 

    Toyin Lawani 

    At the core of everything, you’re a good person. You used to fight up and down back in the day, but you’ve calmed down. After all your years of “hard guy, hard guy”, you’re finally in love, and you won’t let anyone around you rest. It’s adorable. Do you want to know your biggest flaw? It’s the fashion, sis. What’s going on? You keep dressing like a cross between a fine arts project and a disney villain. 

    Mariam Timmer 

    Your motto is “Chop life, make life no chop you“. All you care about is good vibes and a good time, but your friends are always fighting. Because of these problematic friends, you’ve picked up the habit of creating your own drama so that you’re not excluded. No one remembers what you’re shouting about, sis. Pipe down… There’s a high chance anything anyone thinks they’ve done, you’ve done it already and added extra because you’re wild AF!

    ALSO READ: These Chaotic Reality Shows Need to Make Their Way to Nigeria ASAP!

  • It’s still pride month, and we’re queering it up one day at a time. We’ve given you a playlist of the best bops to get down to this season. Now, let’s move on to the best African queer documentaries. From underground ballroom culture to the dangerous intersection between religion and homophobia, these documentaries present a wide range of queer history and current struggles. 

    The Legend of the Underground 

    The American TV show, Pose, introduced the general public to New York’s underground ballroom scene when it premiered in 2017. But what if we told you that Nigeria had a ballroom scene just as resilient and beautiful? The Legend of the Underground is a documentary that explores different characters from Nigeria’s colourful ballroom scene. Shedding light on the complicated lives of members of Nigeria’s LGBTQ+ community both at home and abroad, it’s a must-watch that is both celebratory and eye-opening at the same time. 

    Born This Way 

    No, this is not a Lady Gaga project. The two characters this documentary follows are super obsessed with Lady Gaga and Rihanna, though (We stan taste in this house.) Set in Cameroon, Born This Way looks at the inspiring queer community in the country against the backdrop of a law that punishes homosexual relations with up to five years in prison. 

    God Loves Uganda 

    History has shown us time and time again that queer people existed in Africa long before the arrival of colonisers. And while “modern” religion brought a considerable amount of progress (Shoutout to the good sis, Mary Slessor), it also brought a large amount of homophobia. 

    God Loves Uganda is a 2013 documentary examining how American evangelicals are encouraging homophobia in Uganda after failing in America with the passage of the Same-Sex Marriage act. The documentary takes a deep dive into the intersection between race, religion and homophobia in Uganda. 

    I Am Samuel 

    This Kenyan documentary about the life of a gay man navigating life in a conservative country was banned because it was seen as an attack on the country’s culture and identity. Sis, what? Anyway, I Am Samuel looks at the life of the eponymous character, Samuel, and his partner, Alex. Shot over five years, it explores Samuel’s relationship with religion, his family, and the queer community in Nairobi, Kenya. 

    It’s almost an hour long, but trust us, it’ll be an hour well spent. 

    The Pearl of Africa 

    Ugandans are steady with the queer  content, and I live! The Pearl of Africa tells the story of Ugandan transgender activist, Cleopatra Kambugu, and her fight for the fundamental right to live and love alongside her husband, Nelson. It shows the battle one woman has to face just to be accepted as a human being and loved in a country that fails to acknowledge her existence. This documentary will surely have you in your feels, so be ready to sob a little and be inspired like crazy.

    Stories of Our Lives 

    This Kenyan project is more of a collection of short films than a documentary. Created by filmmaker Jim Chuchu, Stories of Our Lives shows queer life in Kenya through a series of five black-and-white short stories. Covering a broad spectrum of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and intersex, the film, banned in Kenya, tells a collective story of people who have been relegated to the back of the line. It doesn’t give a voice; instead, it amplifies voices that the noise of bigotry have drowned out. An incredible project everyone should see even beyond this period.

    Paris is Burning

    While this documentary isn’t African, it’s an undeniable queer classic and an essential documentary. Paris is Burning is THAT girl. It follows the lives of drag queens living in New York City and the house-ballroom culture that provided them with chosen families and safe havens.

  • Names are important to artists and, in some ways, contribute to whether or not they blow. While music artists like Odunsi and Tems use their real names on stage, some others don’t. And that’s fine. However, it’s one thing not to use your name, and it’s another thing to look nothing like your government name. 

    If you think I’m playing, check out these 10 alté musicians. 

    Stage Name: Cruel Santino

    Real Name: Osayaba Andrew Ize-Iyamu 

    I honestly thought Cruel Santino would have a more gingered name like Isakaba or something. Mr. Subaru’s real name, Osayaba Andrew, feels like a big scam to me. 

    Stage Name: Lady Donli 

    Real Name: Zainab Elizabeth Donli 

    There’s nothing about this picture that screams, “I share the same name with the immortal Queen of England!” 

    Stage Name: Psycho YP 

    Real Name: Nicholas Ihua Maduenyi 

    I’m supposed to believe this man’s name is Nicholas? Say sike. 

    Stage Name: Obongjayar

    Real Name: Steven Umoh 

    Sir, your real name is not Obongjayar? You don’t mean it. I don’t know how to explain it, but he looks more like an Obongjayar than he does a Steven. 

    Stage Name: Wurld 

    Real Name: Sadiq Onifade 

    Something about a Sadiq singing about mad sex feels off. Why are you even having sex? 

    Stage Name: Omah Lay

    Real Name: Stanley Omah Didia

    Okay, let me not even lie, this guy looks like a Stanley. No wonder babes keep collecting his necklace pendant. Stanleys are always loverboys, no cap. 

    RECOMMENDED: 11 Nigerian Artists Who Look Nothing Like Their Real Names

    Stage Name: Wavy the Creator 

    Real Name: Jennifer Ejoke 

    Jenny baby, is this you? I never experred it. 

    Stage Name: Ignis Brothers

    Real Names: Edwin Madu and Ruth Zakari

    Why does their band name sound like the name of an all-white country band in Nashville, Tennessee? Also, if there’s a sister, why not just call it Ignis Brother and Sister? 

    Stage Name: Ajebutter 22

    Real Name: Akintoye Balogun 

    Akintoye sounds like an uncle’s name and not the name of a guy responsible for a song called Serenre. Then again, only millennials still use that word, so maybe it works? 

    Stage Name: Ayra Starr

    Real Name: Oyikansola Sarah Aderibigbe 

    Ayra Starr may not be the most alté artist on this list, but she sure as hell doesn’t look like a Sarah to me. Not Abraham’s wife being a bloody Samaritan. Love it!

    ALSO READ: The 7 Nigerian Singers Guaranteed to Give You a Hit Song in 2022

  • Behind every big K-pop idol or group is a fandom dedicated to supporting them through thick and thin. And there are many K-pop groups and artists, so of course, there are a lot of fandoms. The most popular one is undoubtedly ARMY — the Adorable Representative M.C. for Youth — a group of fans dedicated to BTS. But for this article, we want to talk about other K-pop fandoms that deserve recognition. 

    As soon as an artist or group debuts, their management releases information about the fandom name and, for some of them, custom lightsticks. Each fandom’s name is how the K-pop artist or group refers to their fans and how the fans refer to themselves. The fandoms wave their different light sticks during concerts and use them to tell themselves apart from the various other fandoms gathered in the same place. 

    The difference between fandoms and regular fans is that they go the extra mile to show their support for an artist or group they love. They buy albums, stream songs religiously, buy merch, host charities, celebrate their idol’s birthdays, you name it. 

    After all my talk talk, I don’t know for you if you still don’t get what a fandom is. Sha, here are some you should know: 

    BLINK – Blackpink

    BLINK is a mix of BLACK and PINK — the name is supposed to represent Blackpink’s girl crush (the black) and bubblegum pop (the pink) concept. BLINKs are so good at streaming and raising numbers, and are loyal AF to Blackpink, that every song the group drops breaks at least one YouTube views record. They don’t get music as often as most, but quality over quantity, I guess.

    RELATED: K-pop Stans in Nigeria Can Relate to These Struggles

    Once – TWICE

    The easiest way to explain their name is that if fans can show love to the group once, the girls will repay their support “twice”. If that is not the cutest thing. They are usually very friendly, but you hardly meet a Once that likes Blackpink. They are adorable and can be very stylish. We should all aspire to be them.

    ReVeluv – Red Velvet

    Their name combines the first two letters of “Red” and “Velvet”. The “luv” is just a cute way of spelling “love”. Most ReVeluv just minds their business and don’t get into fandom fights. They also tend to be multi-stans because it’s not a crime to like more than one group. Sha, don’t make a nasty comment about Irene, or you will hear shege. 

    EXO-L – EXO

    EXO-L is simply just the name of the group plus “L”, which means “love”. These guys are unproblematic, but you would be too if you had that much money to buy albums. They had moments when two of their Idols were in the news for negative reasons, but they stayed strong and are in their tenth year now. They’re primarily quiet these days. I love their energy. 

    NCTzen – NCT

    NCTzen means a citizen of NCT, and NCT stands for Neo Culture Technology. It’s not hard to spot NCTzens because they are very loud and chaotic. As large as the group is, NCTzens still manage to stan all 23 of them. Yes, 23 members. Talk about wholesome. They make the best memes about NCT, so we forgive them for their noise-making. They are also the most spoiled fandom because they get so much content regularly. 

    RELATED: QUIZ: Only Kpop Stans Can Make it to the End of This Quiz

    MOA – TOMORROW X TOGETHER (TXT)

    MOA means “Moments of Alwaysness”, which is supposed to describe how the fandom makes TXT’s dreams come true. As you can tell, these guys are the softest and are super protective towards TXT, especially their maknae, Huening Kai. A lot of them are also stan BTS because they are under the same company. They are probably one of the most friendly K-pop fandoms. 

    Stay – Stray Kids

    Stray Kids’ fans give them a reason to “stay”. Get it? They took the “r” out of “Stray”, leaving them with “Stay”. If you meet a Stay, and they don’t lowkey have a Converse obsession, you’re in the wrong place. One thing about them, they will make Hyunjin, their visual member, trend for no reason. Sundays are sacred to Stays because Leader Chan will always go live, surgery or storm. At least, they are unproblematic… for now. 

    CARAT – SEVENTEEN

    At the end of one of SEVENTEEN’s concerts, their Leader S.Coups said, “We have an announcement. You guys made us shine so bright. So you guys are now going to be our CARAT”. These guys are sweet to each other and every other fandom. They support and hype their group, but you won’t see them getting into fights. 

    MIDZY – ITZY

    There’s no drama to how they got their name. MIDZY means “trust”, so fans trust ITZY and ITZY trust MIDZY back. For a fandom that doesn’t seem to have a personality yet, they still somehow manage to get the numbers ITZY needs, and that’s all that matters. 

    V.I.P – BIGBANG

    Before ARMY and EXO-L, V.I.P.s. were the biggest fandoms. Even though BIGBANG separated for a while and only had a comeback this year (2022), V.I.Ps are still worth mentioning because imagine a fandom worse than ARMY? BIGBANG played a significant role in making K-pop international, and V.I.Ps played an essential role in pushing their music. This fandom also doesn’t treat their idols as sacred as most fandoms. If you find someone trolling BIGBANG, it’s most likely a stan, and it’s all in good humour. 

    ALSO READ: These 10 K-Pop Bands Should Be on Your Next Playlist


  • The last time Falz dropped an album, we hadn’t experienced a panini or the life-changing #EndSARS protests. It was 2019, Miss ‘Rona was still preparing for her tour, and all was relatively alright with the world. Back with a six-pack, Falz is ready to make a surprising statement with his new album, Bahd. 

    Considering 2019’s Moral Instruction and the significant role Falz played during the protests, you’d immediately think Bahd would be drenched in social justice anthems. Choosing the soft life instead, this album finds Falz in his most chill era yet, avoiding stress and being a baby boy. While we’re here for his obvious sonic growth and much-needed dive into escapism, we’re not sure everything slaps. 

    The Breakdown

    Bahd opens with the smooth and simple Another Me. Carried by a super seductive bass guitar, we’re also introduced to Falz doing his best Don Toliver impersonation (spoiler alert: it works). Another Me kicks things off early on, on a positive note, managing to blend both the nostalgia of 90s baby-making R&B and the mumble rap that kids on TikTok fuck with these days. Listening to the past and the future in one song is always welcome experience.

    Falz does well to deploy some of the album’s best tracks to the front in a five-song stretch. Another me is followed by All Night, the album’s first potential radio hit and a romantic bop that needs its video like yesterday. Tiwa Savage lends her in-demand vocals to Beautiful Sunflower, the album’s third track and first collaboration. It’s a cute song, but there isn’t a lot of meat on the track, which is slightly disappointing considering what both stars are capable of. 

    RECOMMENDED: Do Nigerian Music Albums Need to Be Cohesive?

    Parampe is the second standout track on the album and an obvious nod to the work of the Kutis, but without the gragra of a certain African Giant. It borrows from these icons without drowning out Falz’ identity in the process. Knee Down marks the first collaboration to make a statement, with Chike deep in his Nollywood “I will die for you” lover boy bag on the track’s chorus.

    These songs are unfortunately followed by the uninteresting Pull Up, which sounds like a 2017 Runtown or Mr. Eazi bonus track, and Gentleman, where Falz frustratingly does his best to make a song out of every rhyming word in the dictionary.  

    Highlife brothers, The Cavemen, help Falz find his groove again on Woman, before we’re introduced to Tender Love, which packs a tender punch. The last three songs are features, with Timaya and new Mavin signee Boy Spice making an appearance on the Duktor Sett-produced, Inside — a highlife “let’s groove” banger that works on it’s own, but fails to tie in with the overall production vibe of the album. 

    L.A.X and BNXN round up the album with Roger Milla and Ice Cream respectively. Roger Milla feels like an album filler, and for someone who’s last album had just nine tracks, this feels unnecessary.  BNXN continues his winning streak with the infectious line, “I scream, you scream, we scream for ice cream.”  What do you all know about being a lyricist? 

    Our Verdict

    Falz has built a reputation for making digestible rap with a pendulum that’s swung between conscious and overly playful. But with Bahd, we see the rapper leave both identities behind for something more laidback. He’s not out to make a major statement with this album, but we can’t complain. Not all the songs on Bahd are winners, but the ones that hit? They really hit.

    Highs: Another Me, All Night, Parampe, Knee Down, Woman, Inside and Ice Cream

    Lows: Pull Up, Gentleman and Roger Milla

    We don’t know: Beautiful Sunflower and Tender Love

    ALSO READ: Forget the Music, Why Is Everyone Still Obsessed With Naira Marley?

  • I live for romantic K-dramas even though all they do is make me moan, “God when?” Nothing comes close to their found family/best friend trope, though. 

    Warning: Watching any of the movies with our favourite K-drama friend groups will have you calling all your friends at 3 a.m. to tell them how much you love and miss them. 

    The gang from Reply 1988

    I wasn’t even born in 1988, nor do I live in South Korea. Still, this series made me nostalgic for the age when kids used walkmans, rocked denim on denim and used dial phones. 

    In Reply 1988, the gang of four guys and one girl all lived and grew up in the same neighbourhood watching movies together, listening to songs and looking after each other. Even though they sometimes argue, their quarrels never got in the way of their love for each other. 

    The Reply series is goated and deserves all the love it gets. If you need a good laugh or cry and want to learn what it means to be a good friend, watch this series because these guys understand friendship. 

    RELATED: If You Have Any of These 8 Habits, You’re a K-drama Addict

    Our favourite five from Twenty Five, Twenty One

    One thing K-drama will do is give you a new interest in sports that you never bothered with before. Twenty Five, Twenty One follows the life of Na Hee Doo, who wants to be the world’s best fencer. She meets Baek Yi Jin, a former rich kid whose family went bankrupt, forcing the family to live apart. Hee Doo and Yi Jun become friends and find joy in making the other happy. 

    How the rest of the squad comes together is messy. But still, things take up shape so beautifully as these kids struggle with their chaotic personalities, financial backgrounds, school and relationship drama, and still find time to show up for each other. The five have such an excellent on-screen connection you’ll find yourself tearing up more often than you’d like. 

    The doctor squad from Hospital Playlist

    If hospital dramas are not your thing, these guys are about to change that. The series follows a group of doctors who have been friends since medical school and somehow end up working in the same hospital. The series follows their friendship, relationship with their patients, romantic lives and, of course, the fact that they’re in a band. Best in time management, innit? 

    These guys will make you laugh with their easy banter. They always make time out of their busy days to check on each other, also making sure to hang out often enough to have us all in our feels. If there’s any friend group I’m most jealous of, It’s this one. 

    RELATED: These 7 Medical K-Dramas Will Wreck You Emotionally

    The Swag Squad from Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo

    You know a friend group is real when they bond over food. This trio are weightlifters in their university, and while their love for food is the only thing they have in common, the friendship still works. Every time they do something they find cool, they say, “swegg!” simultaneously. They fight for each other and always take each other’s side, whether wrong or right. 

    The girls from Hello, My Twenties

    At first, these girls don’t seem like they’ll be good friends because of their different personalities. But,  you can’t have six university girls living in a house without butting heads on their road to friendship. 

    This series did a good job showing what female friendships look like: the stupid dating advice they give each other, their struggles being in school while working part-time jobs, living with slobs and dealing with a stalker, etc. These girls went through it, and all you’ll want to do is give them hugs, but at least they had each other, so you know they can face anything together. 

    The plaza crew from Vincenzo

    This bunch of weirdos are still the most heartwarming found family/ friend groups I’ve seen in K-drama. The plaza crew consists of13  clowns who bonded over their disdain for anyone that tried to buy them out of the plaza that housed all their very different businesses. Until they met Vincenzo Cassano, a Korean-born Italian lawyer and Mafia consigliere who, unknown to them, was the actual owner of the plaza. 

    At first, they didn’t trust him when he said he didn’t want to break down the plaza because so many people had tried to deceive them. Unknown to them, baba had gold under the building, and that’s all he came for. 

    This chaotic gang of misfits sha ended up loving Vincenzo and would do anything for him, including acting as zombies to mess with the mind of a witness just to help Vicenzo with his case. The best part is that they get a happy ending and remain friends even after Vincenzo left.

    ALSO READ: How to Write the Perfect Romantic K-drama Series

  • If you took our advice and watched Spy x Family, don’t you love Anya, Loid and Yor now? If you don’t, we don’t know how to help you oh. Spy x Family is funny, and as a Nigerian, I could connect with so many parts, so I had to write this.

    Here are six of the most relatable moments in Spy x Family. 

    Parents forcing kids to get into a “prestigious” school

    Did Anya have to get into the school for the sake of world peace? Yes, but what does that remind you of? Getting into that ridiculously overrated federal university just so your parents can boast only to spend eight instead of four years. Watching Spy x Family as a Nigerian will have you saying “been there” every two seconds. 

    RELATABLE: Why Watching Anime With Nigerians Is Always Hilarious

    Lying politicians

    These people are everywhere in anime. They’re doing campaigns instead of picking out caskets. And of course, they’re always the beginning of all the problems: stealing from citizens and living lavishly. At least Spy x Family has Loid to stop them. 

     Everyone forcing you to get married

    Or the world would crash and burn. Sounds familiar?

    Cows are everywhere

    Art imitates life because why were cows pursuing the characters in Spy x Family? 

    Teachers being unnecessarily mean to children

    After that entry interview, Anya definitely needs at least three therapists. And so do all of you reading this. Meanwhile, people that are mean to kids deserve the worst. 

    Policing arresting people for no reason

    I was so triggered by the police arresting innocent citizens and torturing them. Spy x Family, I’m trying to laugh, please. . 

    RELATABLE: Desperate for Serotonin? Watch Spy X Family

  • I’m anticipating the magical experience that’ll be the BTS Proof album release tomorrow. It’s exciting because each member had to pick two songs, and while Proof mixes all our favourite old BTS songs, we still get three new ones. I wanted to remind myself why each BTS member chose their two songs for the album, so I rewatched the BTS Proof of Inspiration videos — the seven-part short video series named after each band member — for the millionth time. To help juggle your memory, here’s a reminder of each member’s thought process behind their song choice. 

    Proof of V

    In Proof of V, he spoke about choosing Singularity because of his struggles, eventual acceptance of his idol self, V and the person he is to his friends and family, Taeheyung. He also chose 00:00 because it signifies a new day void of all the problems from the day before. Who doesn’t need a reset like that? Everyone, say thank you, V! 

    RELATED: QUIZ: Only Kpop Stans Can Make it to the End of This Quiz

    Proof of Jin

    Jin chose to include Moon because just like Earth and the moon are inseparable, that’s how inseparable he is from BTS Army, and he did not lie. For Jamais vu, Jin mentioned a part of the song about how when he gets exhausted, all he has to think about is the BTS fandom, Adorable Representative M.C. for Youth (ARMY), and he feels better. It’s great that he feels this way, especially since they regularly save our lives. Please, who is cutting onions? 

    Proof of Jimin

    Jimin wanted Filter and Friends in the album to show how he might have come across as colourless instead of colourful in a bid to show different sides of himself. But Jimin knows that ARMY will always be here to remind him about his essence and keep him centred. Ah yes, cue the waterworks. 

    Proof of Jung Kook

    Jung Kook added Euphoria and Dimple to the album, which is fitting because of his explanation. Jung Kook spoke about how much he loves to sing and dance and how glad he gets when people react positively to his performances. His Proof is in our smiles and joy; how can we not stan? 

    Proof of RM

    RM  went for a more serious vibe, choosing Intro: persona and Stay for the album. In his video, he spoke about his different personas and how he has come to love them, realising they’re all him. RM also made a pun about how the members of BTS and ARMY have “Stay” ed through all his personas, and It’s the cutest thing. Someone tell him that we’re not going anywhere. 

    Proof of Suga

    Trust Suga to pick two songs in a completely different style. He chose Trivia: Seesaw, a calm song and BTS Cypher PT3: Killer, a very energetic song. With Suga, music is about exploring challenges and executing your great ideas. In a few minutes, Proof of Suga encourages us to take risks, push the limits and enjoy all the many joys of life. 

    Proof of J-hope

    J-hope’s addition to the album is  Outro: Her and Ego. He chose Her because of the misunderstood interpretation of the song and how it’s still valid. And I could relate to how ego makes people hide parts of themselves from others. J-hope explained that coming to a place where he could accept himself was easy because the members and ARMY accepted all of him. 

    READ ALSO: Top 7 BTS Music Videos Everyone Should Watch

  • Can we all agree that the DJ who kept dropping bops was the best part of last night’s APC convention? While we sat and watched contestant after contestant come on stage to either step-down or drop hot lies, the DJ turned each break into a dance party. Inspired by his incredibly shady playlist, we’ve decided to give each presidential candidate a song that accurately matches their chaotic energy. 

    1. Bola Ahmed Tinubu — Buga (Lo Lo Lo) by Kizz Daniel 

    This election has given Tinubu more nicknames than your local up and coming rapper. The self-declared kingmaker who’s decided that he must be president before he turns 100, was welcomed to the APC convention stage with “Collect your money. Wake up” from Kizz Daniel’s Buga (Lo Lo Lo), playing loudly. After hearing the lyrics to that song, we’re not surprised other candidates started withdrawing from the race. It’s almost like the ₦100 million they spent in buying the presidential form was shawarma money. 

    2. Professor Yemi Osinbajo — Playboy by Fireboy DML 

    No other song describes our BDSM king like this banger from Fireboy DML. A true Yoruba demon tune, Professor Yemi Osinbajo is the biggest political playboy of the presidential race. He has the swagger, the white agbada, the sweet mouth and most importantly, the gaslighting tricks. This man promised to change Nigeria and literally give us the moon like he hasn’t been a part of the current government for seven years. We see you, Christian Grey. Ooof!

    3. Atiku Abubakar — Stand Strong by Davido 

    This has to be Atiku’s morning devotion song. After running for president five times, this man is still standing strong, even though most of us would prefer it if he just sat down. It can’t be that deep, sir. It’s almost like he forgot something in Aso Rock, because why has he been running for president way before we even had Nokia 3310? On Stand Strong, Davido sings about having more than nine lives, which might mean Atiku has three more elections if he loses the one in 2023. Wahala. 

    4. Rochas Okorocha — Levels by Flavour 

    It’s only in Nigeria that a presidential aspirant will confidently announce at the primaries that less than a week ago, he was in detention based on corruption charges. Rochas came on the stage to shade all the other aspirants and remind them that he was rich before he even went into politics, unlike the other brokies using government funds to run. With that type of energy, there’s no way Levels by Flavour isn’t this man’s theme song. Shade aside, that statement is rich, coming from someone who allegedly stole over ₦2.9 billion from public funds. Glass houses, Rochas, glass houses. 

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    5. Peter Obi — Gentility by Melvitto and Wande Coal 

    Peter Obi definitely listens to Gentitility, and we aren’t talking about the sped-up TikTok version. The former Anambra state governor has moved from vice presidential candidate to presidential aspirant at the PDP and now, Labour Party presidential candidate. He may not have the initial ginger of all the other presidential candidates, but he has managed to become an underdog ahead of the 2023 polls. You can definitely tell that this man recites the lines “Gentitlity oshey stupidity” every time he wakes up. 

    6. Nyesom Wike — Free Madness by Terry G 

    Is there anyone Nyesom Wike hasn’t fought with? From Bubu to Edo state governor, Godwin Obaseki, this man is famous for giving you gbas gbos if you mistakenly breathe in his direction. Since he lost the PDP ticket to Vin Diesel Atiku Abubakar, we doubt we’ll be seeing that energy in Aso Rock. Either way, Free Madness is definitely his morning alarm song. 

    7. Uju Ohanenye — Sweet Mother by Prince Nico

    We should’ve known something was wrong when she started her speech by saying,” Naijas”. Where is the “s” from? Who says that? Because her motivation to run hinged on the assumption that Nigeria needs a mother, it feels apt that her official theme song be Sweet Mother by Prince Nico. Thanks for coming ma. 

    8. Rotimi Amaechi — Kilometre by Burna Boy

    Why Kilometre by Burna Boy? Amaechi was the Minister of Transport, and he also ran a lap around a stadium to prove he’s fit to run for president. We didn’t even have to dig deep for this one. He repeatedly asked delegates not to vote for him if they didn’t think he was qualified. Quick question, sir, are we voting for a president or someone to represent us at the Olympics? 

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  • As an anime fan, I admit that there are some anime dads I once wished would adopt me. For example, Jiraya technically isn’t a dad, but he counts, even if he motivates his protégés by turning into naked women, which is actually not okay. 

    In fact, there are a lot of anime dads who did weird shit that anime writers sold to us as normal. As a kind person, I decided to share their evil deeds with you in this article because why not? Shalom. 

    Endeavor (My Hero Academia)

    You know how Nigerian parents motivate you to work hard, and don’t let you rest, then you start thinking it’s normal not to rest? That’s this man. All he cared about was training his son, Todoroki because he was the only one of his four children to have both parents’ quirks. Endeavor neglected his other children and trained Todoroki tirelessly. I mean, was the training for a good cause? Yes. Did Todoroki learn to be a better hero and person? Yes. But that’s not the point. To be fair, if my name was Endeavor, I too would move mad sha. 

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    Grisha Yeager From (Attack on Titan)

    It’s hard to say whether any character in Attack on Titan is good or bad because sometimes you have to make selfish decisions when your country is at war. Grisha trained his first son to be a spy and turned his second son into a flesh-eating monster to protect them. While the thought was sweet, why did he make Eren eat him just for plot development? Why would he traumatise him like that? Oh, and the best part? Turning Eren into a titan reduced his lifespan to 13 years. I present to you the father of the year. 

    Minato Namikaze (Naruto)

    I wanted to cut him some slack at first because he died before Naruto was born, so he couldn’t have been that bad. But, Minato sealed the nine-tailed monster that killed him in his newborn baby, Naruto, without even thinking twice. The least he could have done was write Naruto a letter preparing the boy for the amount of hate the villagers would have towards him, but did he do that? No, Minato waited until Naruto turned 16 to meet him through Ninja magic. He got punched in their first meeting as he deserved. Minato is a good guy, but what was he thinking? 

    Shiro Fujimoto (Blue Exorcist)

    This man was a paladin, a fancy name for a pastor specialising in exorcisms. This man saved the lives of Satan’s twin babies, Rin and Yukio, and adopted them, which was nice. But the least he could have done was tell Rin he had inherited the devil’s power. Instead, he told Yukio and trained that one to be a paladin to “protect” his demon brother. On top of all this, he still had the audacity to die with many unanswered questions. If I see this man? It’s on sight. 

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    Jouichirou Yukihira (Food Wars)

    Jouichirou is a professional chef, the best chef in this anime world. He made cooking with his son Soma look so fun, teaching him life lessons on the side. It was cute until he woke up one day and abandoned Soma, and their small food kiosk, to supposedly make him self-reliant! Then, he sent a letter asking Soma to apply to the chef school he finished from without preparing the poor boy for how shitty those rich kids can be. He’s just lucky he fathered an “aspire to perspire” son who thinks he can win anything with friendship on his side. If not? Poison straight.

    Kuniharu Saiki (The Disastrous Life Of Saiki) 

    This man is probably one of the funniest anime dads. He was also super sensitive to his kid’s needs and loved his wife. But did he make his psychic son fix all his problems, including the work and marriage-related ones? Yes, and that’s totally not normal. I need this man to find shame and borrow it from wherever he found it. 

    Shou Tucker (Fullmetal Alchemist)

    If ththere’sne thing the anime community agrees on itit’shat this guy is the worst dad in the history of dads. At first, they made him seem like this nice guy who loved his daughter and dog and was just trying to make it in the world of science magic (aka alchemy). His alchemy career wasn’t working out, so the state took his license away. This man of sane mind now decided that the best thing to do was to use alchemy to merge his daughter, Nina, with their pet dog, turning them into a chimera. After doing this, he still tried to gaslight the creature, talmbout how no one understands him. Uncle, even satan will not understand you. Rest.

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