If you’re trying to decide on your next tattoo or you’re trying to get a tattoo for the first time and aren’t sure what exactly you want, take this quiz let us tell you what tattoo to get to specifically give your parents a heart attack.
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Everybody complains about 30+ men, yet so many people are also dating them. Why dis? I’ve decided to take it upon myself to do the research and find out the pros and cons of dating these
oldyoung men.Pro: They’re more mature
I know that maturity ≠ age (trust me, I learnt that the hard way). But most of the time, 30+ men are more mature and more put together. Many of them kuku don’t even have the time — or energy — to play childish dating games. They’re quite straightforward and mature when it comes to communication and handling certain situations.
Con: They’ll belittle your struggle and achievements
You’ll be upset or sad about something, and your dear 30+ boyfriend will be looking at you somehow, wondering why you’re upset about something so “little”. You can’t complain about work or about the things that annoy you to him because they seem so trivial in his eyes. He’ll either tell you that when you get older, these problems won’t matter or that there are bigger problems at hand. God o!
Pro: They have more experience
Because he’s been on this earth for many, many years, he’s experienced quite a few things, good and bad. That means if you’re having a problem or you need help or advice, he’ll be able to help you or connect you with people that can help you.
Con: They’ll use your age to insult you many times
“You’re too young, you won’t understand” is something you’ll hear from your 30+ man so often you’ll want to punch him in the throat. Any small thing, he’ll be using your age to insult you. He’ll tell you that when you’re older, you’ll understand. Understand what, ehn, arugbo ojo? I don’t know why 30+ men like to feel like they’re the oldest and most experienced group of people. Only three decades that they’ve been on this earth o!
RELATED: The Pros and Cons of Being in The Streets
Pro: They have money
They’ve been working for much longer than my GenZ happening babes, so it is more likely that they have plenty money and investments.
Con: They’re no fun
They rarely ever want to go out or do any activity that involves too much movement. Their own idea of fun is watching their favourite TV series while eating in bed. Best in back ache. God help you, you now mention going to an event at past 8 p.m. and they’ll almost want to cry. You want to keep them out past their bedtime? They’ll fight you.
Pro: They won’t break up with you
30+ men don’t have the strength to be in the streets. Do you think they want to be asking people their favourite foods and colours in this their old age? That’s why the moment they start dating someone, it takes a lot before they break up. If you like, come with all the wickedness in the world, they’ll date you like that.
Con: You come from two different eras so you may not be able to relate to them
There’s a chance that both of you won’t be able to relate to a lot of things in regards to pop culture. (except you’re both interested in these types of things). I have a 30+ friend who just discovered that Skepta and Stormzy are two different people, and I’m still ashamed on his behalf. The worst part is when your 30+ man can’t understand GenZ slangs. You’ll text him, “I don’t think that’s right imo,” and he’ll be wondering what Imo state has to do with the topic you’re discussing.
RELATED: 10 Things Nigerian Women Want Nigerian Men to Know
Pro: They’ll get along with your parents
Simply because he’s closer to their age (I said what I said) , and they may share similar interests.
Con: They’re always tired
30+ men get tired easily. They never have energy for anything. All they want to do is rest. They can’t even stand or sit up for too long; their backs will start aching. This can also be a pro sha, because it means they also won’t have the strength for fights. If they notice any potential couple fight brewing, they’ll quickly apologise.
Pro: They want to marry early
If you’re someone who’s looking to get married in the next two to three years of your life, you should date a 30+ man, especially the ones that are edging closer to 40 and feel like the next big step for them is to get married.
Con: They want to marry early
Then again, if you’re someone who isn’t ready to get married anytime soon, don’t let your eyes look in the direction of a 30+ man. Because they may not understand why you aren’t ready for marriage when they are ready.
ALSO READ: 9 Nigerian Women Talk About Dating Men vs Dating Women
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An African Reality TV Show on Netflix??? We’re most definitely here for this!! Netflix is bringing on the drama this year by giving us Young, Famous & African, a seven-part reality tv series set in Johannesburg, South Africa. The show is going to showcase the who’s who of fashion, music, and social media from different parts of the continent.
Now here’s why we’re excited about the show and why we think you should watch it.
1.Exclusive tea
This show gives you all the exclusive tea of the Young Rich and Famous stars featured. You’ll get to find out about their rivalries, new friendships, romantic connections, and other exquisite tea spills.
2. The glitz and glamour.
If you’re a lover of fashion, you’d enjoy this show so much because you get to see all different types of fashion looks. Including the good, the bad and the tacky. This show is called Young, Famous & African, so we’ll definitely be getting to see the glamorous lives of these stars. You get to see how they spend money on enjoyment like fashion, cars, houses, red carpet moments, private jets, etc.
3.Reality TV Drama
Who doesn’t love a good dose of drama? It’s even more interesting because the drama is surrounding some of our favourite African celebrities. We can’t wait to see the chaos our darling Annie Idibia is going to cause. Also, we’re sure there’ll definitely be country wars. You can’t put people from different countries together and not expect a clash.
4. The beauty of Africa
We’re pretty sure we’re all tired of seeing Africa displayed as the jungle that people should visit for adventure. Thankfully, with its many African shows, Netflix has been changing that narrative. And the “Young, Famous and African show is another show that is doing that with its glitzy and sexy images of Africa. Love to see it.
5) Annie Idibia and Swanky Jerry are repping Naija.
Young, Famous, & African features a diverse cast consisting of entertainers from around Africa (South Africa, Nigeria, Tanzania, and Uganda) and repping Naija are actress and model, Annie Idibia, and celebrity fashion stylist, Jeremiah Ogbodo aka Swanky Jerry.
6) 2baba shows up as a guest star.
You read that right. 2baba will be a part of this show. Fans of the iconic singer should keep an eye out for his appearance.
The show premiers on the 18th March 2022, so be sure to mark our calendars and set your reminders. An unscripted and unapologetically African reality TV series is not one you want to miss. Here’s the trailer.
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Yesterday, Nigerian men took to Twitter to share stories about how Nigerian women have billed them in the most random ways. And woosh, I can’t lie, at some point, I started to feel bad for the men. So, my Gees, it’s time to do Nigerian women back, so here’s how to even up the stakes by dodging billing and pulling out a reverse uno card.
Disclaimer: Before you can bill a Nigerian woman, she has to like you o. Or else, anything you see, take it like that.
Agree to go on a date and forget your ATM Card
This could go in many ways. Either both of you will wash plates, because she doesn’t have the money (which is a lie cause Nigerian women are rich) or she’ll walk out on you and you will be the only one to wash the plates. The best way to go about this is, just tell her to pay and that you’ll pay her back — of course you won’t. And everytime she asks for the money, come up with excuses.
Mention other women
Talk about how you’re getting this and that from Folake and Amaka. Women don’t like competition so she’ll either try to outgift the supposed Folake and Amaka, or not even try at all and just ghost you. Brace yourself.
Have bad eating habits
One question a Nigerian woman will always ask is, “Have you eaten?” The first time you say no, she may just tell you to go and find something to eat. But the more you tell her that you get so busy you forget to eat or even buy food, she’ll start getting worried about your eating habits and start ordering food delivery to your house.
Tell her you don’t want to disgrace her
If she invites you somewhere, tell her you don’t have anything to wear. Or wear a bad outfit and send her a picture and tell her this is what you have and if she doesn’t want to be embarrassed, she should buy you an outfit.
RELATED: Nigerian Men Lie, But Only For These 7 Reasons
Use the fuel scarcity to your advantage
Tell her that the reason you can’t see her is because fuel is expensive and transportation cost has increased. She’ll ask for your account details straight up.
Change up your birthday dates
Take a page from Nigerian women’s playbook and have ten birthdays in a year. The moment you meet a woman you like, subtly mention that your birthday is coming soon. Then a few days later, tweet about that new game or new pair of shoes on your wishlist.
RELATED: 11 Things Nigerian Men Do, That Women Absolutely Hate
Data has finished
Make yourself unavailable online. When she calls you to ask what happened, tell her your data has finished, so you can’t chat or Facetime, and your bank is acting up and isn’t allowing you to buy data. Before you know it, she has bought you a whole MiFi and paid for unlimited data for one year.
Get her to add you to her subscription accounts
Tell her to add you to her family account on every streaming platform she’s subscribed to. If she asks why, tell her it’s because you see both of you becoming a family someday and you’d like to start with the little things. Or tell her that Apple Music or Netflix isn’t accepting your card, and ask if she can add you to her family accounts. That way, you may never pay for any streaming services again.
Bill her with your chest
Nigerian women don’t know how to take hints. If you don’t ask, they won’t even answer you. Better open your mouth and say what you want. Bill them directly.
CONTINUE READING: Dear Nigerian Women, This Is How Nigerian Men Want to Be Toasted
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No matter the type of personality they have, and no matter where they live, every Nigerian bachelor has eight out of these nine things in their apartments.
1.TV
Nigerian men will use the last money they have in their accounts to buy massive TVs, and they’ll feel fulfilled in life. As long as they have their big ass TV, they are fine. They can sleep, sit and eat on the floor.
2.Game console
And the game console must have FIFA 20 something or a fighting or killing game that has way too much blood; if not, the set up is not complete.
3.Mattress on the floor
What is it with Nigerian men and not getting bed frames? Did they curse you people?
4. Crusher
The crusher may not necessarily be theirs, because not all Nigerian bachelors smoke (even though they all behave like they are high all the time), but you must find a crusher in their house. Sometimes they like to use the crushers as decorative pieces.
5. Ashewo Shorts
This is one of the things that make up the Nigerian bachelor starter pack, so of course you’ll find it in their homes and in many colours.
RELATED: What Is With Nigerian Women and Having These Things In Their Apartments
6. Alcohol in the fridge
You must always see an unhealthy quantity of alcohol and energy drinks. If you find anything more than that, you’re not in a Nigerian bachelor’s house.
7.Disposable packs
Because Nigerian men would rather die than cook. If it’s not take-away packs from Instagram food vendors, it’s foodflasks that formerly contained food cooked by their fuck-buddies or mothers.
8.Too many perfumes
After TVs, the next thing Nigerian men finish their money on is perfumes. Enter their rooms and you’ll find at least 20 bottles of perfume in their closets. They’ll now come online and say they don’t have money.
9.Condoms
They have a bed-side drawer filled with different brands and flavours. They are always ready for mekwe.
CONTINUE READING: 7 Nigerian Men Confess Their Biggest Big Dick Struggles
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Pop culture tends to hype big penises a lot. Half the time, it’s because we’re of the impression that the bigger the penis, the better the sex. But that’s not always the case. These seven Nigerian men have told us their struggles with owning big dicks.
Chinedu, 26
Dick length: 8 inches
It’s only online that women like big penises. In real life, it’s a different ball game. I think one of the major struggles I face is that I have to be very careful during sex so I don’t go too hard or fast during sex for most people so it doesn’t hurt them. Sometimes the sex is tiring because most of it involves me taking it too easy in trying to be careful, so I can’t fully immerse myself or enjoy it. Also, I’ve had girls refuse to sleep with me because of my penis size. It even happened just last week. Having a big penis is more of a curse than a blessing. I’d prefer to have a medium-sized penis, to be honest.
Femi, 19
Dick Length: 9.5 inches
I’ve given up on sex. I’m bisexual, so trying to have a sexual life with a big penis can be exhausting. The last time I had sex was in December, and it just didn’t work out. My penis is curved, so it was hurting the person even more, and it’s not like I have that much experience with sex yet. The man couldn’t walk, and I swear, I’m not exaggerating. We couldn’t even finish; we just made out for the rest of the night. And it’s more difficult with women. The two girls I’ve tried to have sex with couldn’t take it at all. I’ve decided to stick to only making out and foreplay for now.
Emeka, 27
Dick Length: 9 inches
It’s hard to find women that actually want to have sex with me the way I want. I like it when it’s intense and when it’s with someone that genuinely wants to have sex with me too. And for someone with a penis my size, it’s rare AF.
RELATED: 5 Nigerian Men Talk About Being Made Fun of Because of Their Penis Sizes
Jude, 27
Dick Length: 9 inches
As a grower, I’ve had a lot of women who wanted to get sexual with me think my size is fine. But when it’s time to have sex and it gets fully erect, they’ll run away and never come back. Funny, because my penis isn’t even as big as I want it to be yet.
Let’s not even talk about the embarrassing erections that can never be hidden no matter what I do or wear. One time during my NYSC service, I slept off during one of those long boring talks, and when I woke up, I had a crazy hard-on. The girl next to me had to tell me to pat it down. I was so embarrassed.
Ahmed, 39
Dick Length: 7.5 inches
When you have a big penis, you have to take extra care not to hurt or bruise your partner. You have to be inventive with positioning and you can’t afford to go out of control or get lost in the heat of the moment. And that can be really difficult. It takes a lot of patience and practice. For most women I’ve been with, it took a while to adjust, but lube and foreplay have helped. Buying the right size of condoms has also been a struggle for me, especially when I travel to countries where the average size they have is less than 7 inches. I once had a weird experience in Portugal where I was searching all over town for extra-large condoms.
Temi, 24
Dick Length: Almost 9 inches
In secondary school, people liked to mention my penis size a lot. While having my bath, a lot of boys would look at my penis and call me “Small But Mighty”. And not just boys: one time I was seen having my bath by a female lieutenant (junior rank in the navy) and she started calling me by my English name, Armstrong, but with too much emphasis on the “strong”.
To be very honest, the part I don’t really like about having a big penis is the insertion. It takes extra foreplay and lubrication to go in. For the first few minutes, it’s all adjustments and trying to be careful. Sometimes I forget and go all in and then. boop! I’ve caused pain or discomfort.
Backshots aren’t really as “backshotty” as they should be, and that’s because I can’t go all in, and hence there’s no clapping, and that’s not enjoyable.
Tobi, 24
Dick Length: 9 inches
I was sexting a girl once, and as we were talking on the phone, I sent her a picture of my penis on Snapchat. I told her to check her snap and when she did, she said, “Jesus,” and cut the call. We haven’t spoken since then. Some women are skeptical about having sex with me due to my size. One ghosted me on and off, and she tried to pass me off to her friend, but nothing materialised from either.
Apart from that, there’s the bleeding. Basically, no matter how wet she is, she might dry up a bit due to friction. To avoid this, I make sure the women cum first through foreplay. This is good lubrication, and also so that they are satisfied, so that when I start satisfying myself, I don’t hear story.
CONTINUE READING: 6 Nigerian Men Talk About Paying Their Girlfriends Allowances
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If you’ve ever thought about why you never seem to move forward with your weight loss diet goals, I’m here to tell you that it’s due to your inability to stay away from the Nigerian foods below. And don’t worry, I’m not judging you. I totally understand.
Banga and starch
Banga and starch will forever be a top tier combination. But if you’re trying to make any progress with your weight loss and diet, this combo will take you 10 steps backwards. I mean, banga soup is literally 50% oil. How can you be drinking oil and complaining that your summer body is not bodying? And starch is literally the ingredient everyone tries to avoid in meals, but Nigerians are mixing it with palm oil and calling it swallow. God safe us.
Garri
If you’re drinking garri with just water, you’re fine. As the Nigerian that you are, you’re most likely mixing your garri with milk, groundnut, sugar and (for the psychopaths out there) salt. This concoction is where the problem lies.
Akpu
From saying the name alone, you can already tell this food is heavy as hell.. If you eat Akpu often, be sure that the body goal you’re trying to reach has been delayed. You’ll eat akpu and sleep for three days, while the calories just settle and create a home in your stomach.
Yam
Yam is such a sneaky bitch. You’ll think you’re eating healthy by eating boiled yam, only to find out that half a slice of yam is 118 calories. And here’s the thing; —you and I know that no one eats just half a slice. So imagine what 3 full slices will do to your body. And that’s even before you pair it up with a side like fried eggs. Omo!
RELATED: We Ranked These Yam Dishes From Worst To Best
Akara and pap
You’re eating akara in the middle of a big loaf of agege bread, combined with pap filled with half a container of milk and three big tablespoons of sugar and you have the audacity to wonder why the trousers you wore last week are suddenly tight around the waist? Please come off it.
Dodo
God help you if it’s the over ripe, soggy dodo that soaks up enough oil to give somebody a heart attack. (That’s the only dodo I recognise by the way). Diet in the actual mud.
Small chops
Small chops are the major reason half of Nigerians haven’t reached their supposed fitness and health goals yet. There’s nothing healthy in a small chops pack because all the things inside are deep fried in oil. The worst part is that you can’t even avoid small chops as a Nigerian because it’s in your face everywhere you go. If you don’t see it being sold in traffic, you’ll find it at a wedding reception, or your office party.
Ewa Agoyin
The problem with ewa agoyin is not the beans, it’s the “stew” that is basically oil with a dash of tomato and pepper. And some cultists will still have the audacity to eat it with yam because they want a “balanced diet”. LMAO.
CONTINUE READING: 6 Hard Exercises That’ll Make You Abandon Your Body Goals
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Can you identify random everyday objects in Hausa, Igbo and Yoruba? Polyglots, rise, don’t waste our money.
Let’s see how you do:
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Everyone is unique and has their own style, but I promise you, every Nigerian woman has these things in her apartment.
1. Plants
Apparently, apart from diamonds, plants are also a girl’s best friend. And that’s why every Nigerian woman’s apartment looks like a mini version of the Amazon rainforest.
2. Sex toys
Because Nigerian women don’t joke with their orgasms.
3. Skincare products
Nigerian women are skincare junkies by birth. Whether or not they naturally have clear skin is not important. You’ll go to their house and see skincare products fighting for space on their dressing tables.
4. Souvenirs
Go to the kitchen and pick a mug in a Nigerian woman’s house, I promise you’ll see “Congratulations Foluso & Amanda” or a plastic bowl that says “Mummy Chioma @ 60”. With the number of party souvenirs Nigerian women bring home, we’re beginning to suspect they do hustle for them primarily to decorate their homes. Why buy plates and mugs when you can get them for free at a Nigerian owambe?
RELATED: 10 Things Nigerian Women Want Nigerian Men To Know
5. Takeaway packs
There’s a cabinet you shouldn’t open in a Nigerian woman’s kitchen, and that’s because if you open it, a big mountain of plastic food packs from different types of food vendors will come falling down. It’s not news that Nigerian women don’t like cooking, especially not after they’ve had to do it for many years under the roof of their Nigerian parents.
6. Men’s shirts
There’s something about women and collecting shirts from men. If you check a woman’s closet, we’re sure you’ll find a section filled with shirts and hoodies she has snatched from different men, from partners to family members to friends.
7. Book shelves
It doesn’t matter whether they enjoy reading or not. As long as the bookshelf is fine and contributes to the minimalist decor style, you’ll see it.
8. Raffia basket
Either you find a big raffia basket, a raffia mat, a raffia handbag or a raffia hand fan laying somewhere in a Nigerian woman’s house. The connection between Nigerian women and raffia needs to be studied deeply. Is there something we don’t know that they know? Is there a war coming soon and is raffia the weapon we need?
9. Full-length mirror
A full-length mirror is the first thing a Nigerian woman buys for her apartment.. Nothing else matters until there’s a full-length mirror in the house.
CONTINUE READING: Why Your Nigerian Girlfriend Is Basically A Cat
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It’s TGIF and we know a lot of you drunkards out there are going to be downing bottles of alcohol tonight like you have spare livers kept aside somewhere.
Tomorrow you’ll wake up with the worst headache, and you’ll tell yourself you’ll never drink again. We both know that’s a lie; it’s the hangover talking. We understand that hangovers are from the pit of hell, and that’s why these remedies — However weird they seem — may help you recover.
Disclaimer: This isn’t medical advice in anyway.
1. Raw eggs and orange juice
This is a top-tier combo. The raw egg contains chemicals that will help restore functions to your body, and the orange juice has Vitamin C, which helps revitalise your body. Plus, the orange juice cancels out the taste of the raw egg.
2. Garri and coke
Do you want your hangover to go away or not? So do yourself a favour and pour half a bottle of coke into a bowl of garri and drink it like you’d drink normal garri and water. The coke is to give you energy, while the garri is to soak up all the alcohol.
3. Agbo jedi jedi
If you don’t already know, Nigerians use agbo jedi to cure every single disease on this planet. So if it can cure cancer, liver disease, stroke, heart disease, what’s now ordinary hangover?
4. Sardines
Yes, just sardines. The oil, fish and salt work together to settle your stomach. Don’t ask us questions, just do it.
5. Indomie and ketchup
First of all, you’re welcome, because this one is tried and tested, so take our word for it.
6. Igbeaux
Because highness >>>> hangover.
7. Alcohol
This is most likely the last thing you want to hear, but the only way to get over a hangover is to drink again. But this time, the type of alcohol you need to drink is the one that comes in a sachet: the kind that only roadside sellers have. Ask for Chelsea. This type of alcohol will burn the hangover right out of your system.
8. Eba and Okra
One way to get over a hangover is by eating heavy food. And what’s heavier than eba? By the time you finish eating the eba, sleep will slap you so hard, you’ll forget about any hangover. We chose okra soup so that the okra would draw out the alcohol in your body. Get it? Draw? If you don’t get it, forget about it.
9. Sex
If you’re having throbbing hangover headaches, sex is a great remedy for that. Having sex releases a hormone that is thought to help control pain. You’ll feel more relaxed and might eventually get some restful sleep.