Muhammadu Buhari | Page 3 of 4

As a Nigerian politician, having a sweet mouth is a highly desirable skill, no doubt. You can have great plans for your voters, but you need proper storytelling skills to stimulate them. You know? Something to keep the people going.

It’s not enough to say you’ll provide free education, you have to remind your voters that you couldn’t go to school when you were young because there was no one to provide free education for you. Or that you were forced to travel to school on foot across seven seas and mountains because there were no schools in your community.

But as a voter, it’s useful to have it in the back of your mind that politicians are trying to game you. If politicians have to deceive or manipulate you to get what they want, they will — and they do. The goal is the elected office they want, and sometimes they’ll tell you sob stories to appear more relatable to you so you can vote for them.

You have to jazz up and always look at the merit of their actual plans, and not just their corny grass-to grace stories.

With the campaign season for the 2023 elections kicking into gear, we compiled Nigerian politicians’ greatest hits of sob stories. And you should expect to see more of them.

Goodluck Jonathan (2010)

“In my early days in school, I had no shoes, no school bags. I carried my books in my hands but never despaired; no car to take me to school but I never despaired. There were days I had only one meal but I never despaired. I walked miles and crossed rivers to school every day but I never despaired. I didn’t have power, didn’t have generators, studied with lanterns but I never despaired.

In spite of these, I finished secondary school, attended the University of Port Harcourt, and now hold a doctorate degree. Fellow Nigerians, if I could make it, you too can make it.”

Muhammadu Buhari (2014)

“It’s a pity I couldn’t influence the reduction of the cost of nomination forms. I felt heavily sorry for myself because I don’t want to go and ask somebody to pay for my nomination forms, because I always try to pay myself, at least for the nomination. N27 million is a big sum.

Thankfully I have a personal relationship with the manager of my bank in Kaduna and I told him that very soon the forms are coming. So, whether I am on red, or green or even black, please honour my fund request otherwise I may lose the nomination.”

Atiku Abubakar (2018)

“I started out as an orphan selling firewood on the streets of Jada in Adamawa, but God, through the Nigerian state, invested in me and here I am today. If Nigeria worked for me, I owe it as my duty to make sure that Nigeria also works for you.”

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Rotimi Amaechi (2022)

“I don’t come from a privileged background. I grew up poor. I understand how it feels to go without some meals in a day. I know the pain of lack and the agony of want. I know what it means to see your parents toil just to keep a roof over your family’s head. I know what it is to feel the weight of expectation when you are the only one in your family who enjoys the opportunity to attend university. I know what it is to scrimp and save and struggle.”

Atiku Abubakar (2022)

This guy, again.

“Who could have ever imagined, an 11-year-old village orphan, who had to rear other people’s cattle to raise money to feed his family, would have the opportunity to go to school for free, rise through the cadre of a decent profession, establish successful businesses, and become the Vice President of this country? That’s the Nigerian dream and that’s my story. That’s the possibility I want to pass to you and your children. No matter your current circumstances, that shouldn’t limit your success in life. There shouldn’t be any limit to what you want to achieve if you’re willing to work for it.”

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If there’s one thing about President Buhari, it’s that he hates corruption. Or, at least, he says he hates corruption — it’s all he ever talks about. He rode to power on the back of a firm promise to make corruption disappear, as if Nigeria is a circus and he’s a skillful magician.

Seven years down the line and corruption is still taking bites out of Nigeria’s national cake like it’s agege bread. The Buhari administration has failed to convince Nigerians of its capacity to effectively fight corruption. The statistics also show he’s not been doing a great job.

Buhari’s most common defence for his terrible performance is that corruption is fighting back — whatever that means. And to prove that he’s trying his best, he regularly points to the fact that two former state governors were jailed for corruption under his administration. That used to be a reasonable defence until very recently.

Who are these former governors?

NOT the former governors

Jolly Nyame was the governor of Taraba State between 1999 and 2007. The High Court in the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) found him guilty of stealing over N1.6 billion and sentenced him to 14 years in prison in 2018. The Court of Appeal and Supreme Court later reduced the sentence to 12 years.

Like his brother-in-crime, Joshua Dariye was the governor of Plateau State between 1999 and 2007. He also represented Plateau Central senatorial district in the Senate between 2011 and 2019. In 2018, the FCT High Court found him guilty of stealing over N2 billion and sentenced him to 14 years in prison. The Supreme Court later reduced the sentence to 10 years.

Jolly Nyame to the left and Joshua Dariye to the right

Fun fact: Nyame and Dariye were jailed by the same person.

Her name is Justice Adebukola Banjoko.

ALSO READ: Buhari’s Weirdest Decisions We Thought Were April Fool’s Day Jokes But Weren’t

Buhari’s Easter gift

As Nigerians prepared for Easter on April 14th 2022, the Buhari administration announced the pardon of Nyame and Dariye. They were among 159 prison inmates and ex-convicts who received a presidential pardon by simply asking for it.

What’s a presidential pardon?

Section 175 of Nigeria’s 1999 Constitution (as amended) grants a Nigerian president the power to pardon convicts and ex-convicts in the country. This pardon may come in the form of total freedom, replacing a death sentence with a prison sentence, or reduction of a prison sentence. This is called a prerogative of mercy.

The president exercises this power in consultation with the National Council of State (NCS).

What council is that?

The NCS is an organ of the government given life by Section 153 (1)(b) of the constitution. The council is empowered to advise the president on at least six specific subjects. One of such subjects is the prerogative of mercy.

The president is the chairman of this council and the vice president is the deputy chairman. Members of the council include all former presidents and heads of government, all former Chief Justices of Nigeria, the Senate President, the Speaker of the House of Representatives, all current state governors and the Attorney-General of the Federation (AGF).

The council is crowded and very male.

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How did Nyame and Dariye get pardoned?

Buhari reconvened the Presidential Advisory Committee on Prerogative of Mercy and Clemency in September 2021. The objective of this committee was to visit prisons across Nigeria and make recommendations to the president on who deserves mercy.

Members of the committee were drawn from the Federal Ministry of Justice, Ministry of Special Duties and Intergovernmental Affairs, Christian Association of Nigeria, Islamic Society of Nigeria, National Human Rights Commission, Nigeria Police Force and Nigerian Correctional Service.

By the end of September 2021, the committee already had 320 applications to sort through to determine who deserved a presidential pardon. The committee presented its report to the president who then presented a memo of that report to the NCS where a final decision was made.

Nyame and Dariye managed to make this list somehow, for unclear reasons.

What does the pardon mean for Buhari’s anti-corruption stance?

The cases against Dariye and Nyame each took 11 years to conclude in court. And Buhari’s decision to pardon them after three years in prison washed all that hard work away. It’s unsurprising that the pardon hasn’t enjoyed public support.

More than anything, the pardon of Dariye and Nyame ridicules Buhari’s anti-corruption stance as one big lie. Especially since critics believe releasing the two former governors is a barter arrangement for them to provide political assistance for the 2023 general elections.

The next time Buhari laments that corruption is fighting back, he should look in the mirror where he’ll find the man responsible.

ALSO READ: What Does Buhari’s Anti-Corruption Report Card Look Like? (Hint: It’s Terrible)
The President Buhari administration has broken a few records: record unemployment rate, record poverty rate and the world’s largest rice pyramids. But one other little-known trail-blazing feat of his government is how much he loves an executive order. Before you ask, no, it has nothing to do with the Peaky Blinders.

Let’s focus.

Since Nigeria’s return to democracy in 1999, none of its three presidents before Buhari signed an executive order. But the former military dictator from Daura has signed 11 since 2015.

Best in Signing.

What’s an executive order?

There’s no precise judicial definition of what an executive order is but think of it as a wuru-wuru-to-the-answer kind of legislation. Before a law is passed, it has to go through a lawmaking process in the National Assembly. This lawmaking process can take months or years before it lands on the president’s table.

On the other hand, an executive order is a shortcut to this long process. A president can use it to issue a directive without going through the painful process of begging the National Assembly for approval.

How useful is an executive order?

Even though executive orders allow a president to shortcut legislative review, they still need to not clash with established laws, especially the constitution. For example, the Buhari administration ran into problems when Executive Order 10 violated this principle.

ALSO READ: Supreme Court Tells Buhari to Drink Executive Order 10 And Mind His Business

It’s important to note that the signing of executive orders is fairly new in Nigeria’s political establishment, so there’s not a lot of material on its inner workings. But we know it largely follows the format of the American system.

Basically, an executive order is used to manage the operations of the Federal Government. It’s a document the president uses to give teeth to certain policies.

Here’s a rundown of all 11 executive orders signed by President Buhari’s administration.

Executive Order (EO) 1

While Buhari was on his record-breaking 103-day medical leave in London in 2017, his vice president, Yemi Osinbajo, signed the administration’s first four executive orders while he was acting president. He signed the first three executive orders on May 18th 2017.

Executive Order 1 addressed the promotion of transparency and efficiency in the Nigerian business environment. It was designed to facilitate the ease of doing business in the country.

EO 2

This executive order mandated the timely submission of annual budgetary estimates by all government agencies.

EO 3

This executive order addressed support for local content in public procurement. All Ministries, Departments and Agencies (MDAs) of the government were directed to grant preference to local manufacturers of goods and service providers.

ALSO READ: Buhari’s Weirdest Decisions We Thought Were April Fool’s Day Jokes But Weren’t

EO 4

This executive order addressed the Federal Government’s Voluntary Assets and Income Declaration Scheme (VAIDS). The government offered tax amnesty to taxpayers who hadn’t been fulfilling their tax obligations. Defaulters were asked to regularise their tax affairs before March 2018.

This is the fourth and final executive order signed by Osinbajo as acting president on June 29th 2017.

And it was the last time he was ever acting president

EO 5

This order was Buhari’s debut, signed on February 6th 2018. With Executive Order 5, Buhari ordered government agencies to give preference to Nigerian companies and firms over foreigners when awarding contracts. The order also stopped the Ministry of Interior from giving visas to foreign workers whose skills are readily available in Nigeria.

EO 6

This executive order addressed the preservation of suspicious assets connected with corruption. The order allowed the government to assume control of assets linked to ongoing criminal investigations and trials. Buhari signed the order on July 5th 2018.

EO 7

This executive order enabled private sector entities to construct and refurbish roads across Nigeria in exchange for tax benefits from the government. Buhari signed the order on January 25th 2019.

EO 8

This executive order provided a 12-month period of grace for Nigerian taxpayers to voluntarily declare and pay tax on their offshore assets through the Voluntary Offshore Assets Regularisation Scheme (VOARS). In exchange, they wouldn’t be prosecuted for tax offences and offences related to offshore assets.

Buhari signed the order on October 8th 2018.

EO 9

Buhari used this order to mandate that Nigeria must become open defecation-free by 2025.

The order directed that all public places including schools, fuel stations, places of worship, market places and hospitals must have accessible toilets within their premises. Buhari signed the order on November 20th 2019.

EO 10

With this order, Buhari directed the financial independence of the state legislature and judiciary whose purse strings are controlled by their governors. The president signed the order on May 22nd 2020, but the Supreme Court nullified it on February 11th 2022. The court ruled that the order violated the principles of the separation of powers set by the constitution.

EO 11

This order addressed the maintenance of national public buildings. Buhari directed all Ministries, Departments and Agencies of government (MDAs) to set up maintenance departments and make them functional to preserve government assets. Buhari signed the order on April 6th 2022.

Since executive orders are fairly new to Nigeria’s dispensation, it’s still difficult to appropriately measure their implementation and impact. As things currently stand, no one really knows if executive orders change things significantly, but they’re provocative. One thing we do know for certain is that Buhari loves signing them as much as he loves flying to London.

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Leadership is hard. Being the president of a multi-ethnic and multi-religious country of over 200 million people like Nigeria must be even harder. So, maybe we have some sympathy for whoever dares to occupy that seat.

But there are certain actions that presidents take that make us scratch our heads, wondering if they’re being serious or messing with us like it’s April Fool’s Day.

President Buhari is no stranger to making some of these baffling decisions and leaving Nigerians caught in a confused state of crying and laughing.

For April Fool’s Day, we compiled some of President Bubu’s decisions that should have stayed in the drafts.

Twitter ban

All Twitter did was delete an offensive tweet that Lord Commander Buhari tweeted on his account, and he went into 48 Laws of Power mode to suspend the social media service in June 2021.

Law 15: Crush Your Enemy Totally

Buhari lifted the suspension in January 2022 but has refused to tweet on his personal account. All that aggression for what?

Cutting down trees to fight dollars

One of Buhari’s most defining battles as president in the past seven years has been to defend the dignity of the naira against the dollar. He’s not doing a great job because $1 was ₦197 when he assumed office in May 2015, but $1 is now ₦416 in 2022. However, his failure to arrest the decline of the naira doesn’t mean he hasn’t put up a spirited fight because he once cut down trees to make the naira valuable.

What did these trees in Abuja do to harm the naira? Well, they provided shed for money changers who were selling dollars at black market rates considered to be harmful to the value of the naira.

Closure of land borders

Supreme Leader Bubu woke up one morning in August 2019 and ordered that Nigeria’s land borders be shut down, because of rice. The man took “There’s rice at home” too literally and crippled international trade with neighbouring countries because he wanted to stop the smuggling of foreign rice into Nigeria.

Immediately the borders were shut, the inflation rate increased consistently for the next 19 months. Buhari approved the reopening of the land borders in December 2020 and has said that the policy failed, but that it also succeeded. There’s a set-up for a good joke here, but we’re not great at the comedy thing like the president.

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Amnesty for Boko Haram terrorists

There’s a Nigerian tailor making a killing every time Boko Haram members graduate as “repentant” terrorists

Boko Haram terrorists are directly responsible for the death of around 35,000 people and the displacement of more than two million people since 2009. A 2021 report by the United Nations Development Programme (UNDP) noted that the terrorists’ activities have indirectly led to 314,000 additional deaths.

Yet, Buhari in his wisdom started a rehabilitation programme called Operation Safe Corridor for terrorists to surrender in exchange for amnesty. More than 1,000 former “repentant” terrorists have graduated from this programme and have been reintegrated back into society, and more than 35,000 are waiting in line.

ALSO READ: How Buhari Has Freed 1,629 “Repentant” Boko Haram Members

Despite the international support that the rehabilitation programme has, local support has been impossible to get. The still terrorised communities that have to embrace these supposedly-repentant terrorists have especially not been very welcoming. Some of these communities have asked Buhari to host the “repentant” terrorists at Aso Rock instead. That’s not an unreasonable demand.

Souvenir killjoy

“Buhari bans souvenirs at government events” is not a headline that made the rounds enough, but that’s something the president did in 2016. Buhari banned Federal Ministries, Departments and Agencies (MDAs) from buying and distributing bags, t-shirts and other souvenirs at events such as conferences and seminars. He did this to cut down on government spending.

Seeing as Nigerians love to party, we assume the MDAs received Buhari’s memo, laughed it off as an April Fool’s Day joke and ordered more rechargeable mini hand fans to distribute at the next government owambe.

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Nigeria’s Game of Thrones for the 2023 presidential election is currently at the point where everybody and their grandmother is laying claim to the Iron Throne. We recently made a list of some of the aspirants in the race, but a few more people have declared their intention since then to replace President Buhari in 2023.

Let’s see who’s shooting their shots at the most difficult job in the country.

Atiku Abubakar

You may remember Atiku Abubakar as Nigeria’s vice president between 1999 and 2007. What you may not know is that he’s been involved in every single presidential election since 1993. To clarify: he’s been either a vice presidential candidate, presidential aspirant or candidate in Nigeria’s past seven presidential elections since the 1990s. But he’s only made it to the general election ballots for the presidential position twice: in 2007 and 2019.

When he officially declared his intention to join the race for the 2023 presidential election on March 23rd 2022, the former vice president said he was obeying the “brave voices” of Nigerians who told him to try again. He wants Nigerians to remember him as the 11-year-old village orphan that reared cattle and rose through adversity to become successful.

Atiku’s big rallying cry for the 2023 election is to unify Nigerians, and we’re guessing he’s going to need more than cellotape to pull that off.

Peter Obi

Politicians lie all the time about how they joined an election race because ordinary people pressured them to run, but that’s hardly the case for Peter Obi. Since he stopped being Anambra State governor in 2014, his name has always popped up as a viable potential for the presidency.

For the 2019 presidential election, Obi settled for being a vice presidential candidate alongside Atiku. This time around, he’ll be running head-to-head against Atiku for the ticket of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP).

For his campaign, you can expect a lot of promises about saving Nigeria by saving money, and a lot of statistics about China.

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Aminu Tambuwal

Aminu Tambuwal has been a busy politician by all standards. He won his first election to enter the House of Representatives in 2003 and won two more before he left in 2015 as Speaker. From the National Assembly, he jumped right into the governorship seat for Sokoto State in 2015 and won a second term in 2019.

He’s also jumped parties as regularly as the national grid collapses. He started from the All Nigeria Peoples Party (ANPP) before he jumped to the Democratic People’s Party (DPP) and back to the ANPP and then almost immediately to the PDP. He stayed with the PDP for seven years before he jumped to the All Progressives Congress (APC) in 2014, and then back to the PDP again four years later.

This is not the first time Tambuwal is eyeing the presidency too. He finished second behind Atiku in the PDP’s primary election four years ago, and the two will do battle once again for 2023.

Nyesom Wike

Without context, Governor Nyesom Wike of Rivers State does things like this:

Wike has been a cornerstone of the PDP for years and his retirement plan after eight years as Rivers State governor is the presidency. When he officially announced his intention to run for the top seat, he mentioned that his strategy is to take power from the APC and save Nigeria.

We’ll let him use his own words to describe his claim to the presidency, “When a mad man flogs you, don’t run. If you run, the mad man will pursue you. If he flogs you, take a stick and flog the mad man. If you do that, the mad man will start running. This APC requires people to say, ‘Enough is enough,’ and I’m that person that can tell them.”

We can be sure that the 2023 presidential election will be anything but boring with this one around.

With primary elections set to start in April 2022, more people may join the 2023 presidential race. But not to worry, we’ll keep you updated.

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If your city’s name is not London, then it’s not every day that it’s blessed with the presence of travel blogger, President Buhari. The United Kingdom has seen his gap-toothed smile more times than Lai Mohammed has spoken the truth.

But the president will make a local stop in Lagos State on Tuesday, March 22nd 2022 on a work visit.

What’s he looking for?

President Buhari is in Lagos State for four things, and none of them is about the heat cooking the city.

The high point of his visit is the commissioning of a new international terminal at the Murtala Muhammed International Airport. The last terminal was commissioned in 1979.

That’s 43 years if you were counting

The new terminal is expected to process over a dozen million passengers annually and decongest the operations of the old terminal. But will it stop airport officials from still harassing you to drop something for the boys? We can’t say at this time.

Buhari’s second order of business is to commission the Dangote Fertiliser Plant in Lekki. He’ll also do inspection tours of the Lekki Deep Sea Port and Dangote Refinery.

Unfortunately, Chief Inspector Babatunde Fashola won’t be there to find cameras

How should Lagosians react?

Buhari leaving Abuja for anywhere inside Nigeria is a big deal, because you know he actually wants to be in London instead. But when he decides to step into your city, what are your options?

Be a human red carpet

If you’re a Buharist, the president’s visit to your city is easily the best thing to happen to you that week. Or month, if you don’t have a lot going for you. A presidential visit presents the opportunity to activate that Sai Baba devotion and show that you’re his Number 1 fan. Rolling out that red carpet for him is so outdated; you can become the carpet yourself.

Take a sick day off work

If you’re a Buhari hater, the president’s visit to your city will likely make you feel sick. Take a day off and tell your employer that your pet goat died or something and working is not on your list of priorities that day.

ALSO READ: Why Is Buhari Using Nigeria’s $1 million to Do Giveaway for Afghanistan?

Remind him of youth unemployment

You also want to take a sick day off work, but you don’t have any work because you’re one of the 22.3 million Nigerians who are unemployed. You can join Buhari’s welcome party and display a placard to remind him that he’s not doing his job well. He may spot you as his convoy drives past, or he may be too busy not caring.

Stay at home

For a place like Lagos, a presidential visit is also a test from God or the Devil — it’s hard to tell. Roads are blocked, there’s a lot of vehicular diversions and you’re stuck in traffic sweating like a Christmas goat. Your recourse is to stay home and pray the president leaves as quickly as possible. Going outside for anything that needs four wheels may lead to “Had I known.”

Flee the city

The thought of Buhari drawing the same oxygen in the same city as you is not one you even want to entertain. Run.

ALSO READ: How Buhari Has Freed 1,629 “Repentant” Boko Haram Members
You know how it is when you host a guest and tell them to feel at home, so they enter your kitchen and take a shit in the sink? That’s what this ongoing fuel scarcity is starting to feel like.

It all started when someone slept on their job and allowed the importation of contaminated fuel. It was a terrible lapse in judgement, but nobody is above mistakes, so we’ll let it slide. That being said, why are we still dealing with fuel scarcity more than six weeks later?

We all thought this mess would be sorted in a matter of days, and we’d return to our stress-free Nigerian lives. But after all this time, we’re still queueing for fuel and dealing with the rising prices of petrol and diesel. Hell, some people are even stealing generators in the middle of all this.

We’ve heard all the excuses and midnight apologies from President Buhari, but this fuel scarcity is feeling too at home. It looks like we’ll need to take extraordinary measures as a nation to earn the favour of the god of surplus. We have some suggestions on the things that need to happen to end this crisis.

Buhari gets treatment from a Nigerian doctor in Nigeria

There’s nothing wrong with him that a few misplaced plasters can’t solve.

Buhari has been president for nearly seven years, and he hasn’t taken anything as basic as paracetamol from a Nigerian doctor. This is despite the fact that taxpayers have sunk billions of naira into the State House Clinic for him and his family to feel fresh. In the middle of this fuel scarcity chaos, he still found time to travel to London to chill with his doctors for two weeks.

The very first sacrifice we need to make to end the scarcity is for Buhari to return home so a Nigerian doctor can treat the earache preventing him from hearing the cries of Nigerians. Seriously, what can Dr Higginbottom do that Dr Komolafe can’t?

Tinubu tells us his real age

If there’s one thing we don’t like, it’s controversy over the age of our leaders. We’ve gone through this with Buhari, and now Bola Tinubu wants to be president with too many question marks hanging over his head. Is he 69 as he claims, or is he a World War I veteran like his haters allege? He should confess. There’s no shame in being old. After all, there’s a 102-year-old woman also running for the president’s seat and we think she rocks.

ALSO READ: Why Nigeria (Probably) Needs a 102-Year-Old President

Someone must explain why lawmakers get hardship allowance

What do Nigerian lawmakers do that entitles them to a monthly hardship allowance of over N1 million? Sitting on comfortable seats to shout “Aye” and “Nay”? Or rejecting sensible reforms to our laws? What’s hard about their jobs? If anyone needs hardship allowance, it’s you that’s reading this article while standing in your 157th fuel queue since February 2022.

We need to know how Lai Mohammed sleeps at night

Lights on or off? On his stomach or back?

We’re not going to call Lai Mohammed a liar, but we’ll say that he’s not a huge fan of telling the truth. What we’d like to know is his creative process and how he manages to sleep at night doing the things he does.

Does he sleep with one pillow or two? Is his bedsheet made by Abba Kyari’s tailor? Does he sleep standing up or hanging upside down like an old-timey vampire? We need to know so this fuel scarcity can end immediately.

What does Governor Ayade smoke?

No one is as creative at naming annual budgets as Governor Ben Ayade of Cross River State. From “Budget of Infinite Transposition” to “Budget of Kinetic Crystallization” and “Budget of Quabalistic Densification”, this guy is the Shakespeare of naming ceremonies. Let’s not forget the “Budget of Olimpotic Meristemasis”, “Budget of Blush and Bliss” and “Budget of Conjugated Agglutination”.

Clearly, there’s some ~~illegal~~ unnatural substance involved in his creative process, and he needs to tell us so this fuel scarcity can end. Or he can just introduce us to his English teacher. We’d like to have a couple of words.

Okorocha must explain those statues

At a time when he was owing pensioners as governor of Imo State, Senator Rochas Okorocha spent millions of naira erecting statues of “heroes” like Jacob Zuma of South Africa. He said it was to improve Imo State’s tourism profile, but we really need him to tell the real truth, especially as he wants to be president. What was the reason?

Expose who’s “stealing” our fuel

We found out this week that about 107 million barrels of crude oil lifted for domestic consumption disappeared without a trace in 2019. This amounts to billions of naira ending up in private pockets.

Mr Billionaire, Tony Elumelu, also complained that only less than 3,000 barrels of crude oil make it to one terminal that should be receiving over 200,000 barrels a day. These are not criminals coming like thieves in the night. These ones are knocking on doors and taking out all your furniture because someone in the house sold them without putting the money in the family account.

And if we cannot get to the bottom of this blatant stealing, Buhari should do the reasonable thing and sack the Minister of Petroleum Resources for being terrible at his job. But we don’t imagine Buhari is so eager to sack himself.

ALSO READ: Fuel Scarcity + National Grid Collapses — How are Nigerians Coping?
There used to be a time when mass murder was news in Nigeria. But it’s just another Saturday these days, which is a tragedy of its own.

Many parts of the country have become killing fields ruled by armed groups with no clear purpose. This week, Kebbi State was the witness of two different massacres that are already taking the backseat.

Here’s everything we know about these attacks.

Slaughter of vigilantes

When residents received reports that bandits were attacking villages in Sakaba Local Government Area of Kebbi on March 6th, 2022, vigilantes mobilised to confront the bandits. The vigilantes were members of Yan Sakai, an ethnic militia group that was established to fight crime in many parts of northern Nigeria. The group has been banned by governments in a few states over extra-judicial activities. But the Yan Sakai keeps operating because, apparently, Nigeria’s security forces are already spread too thin.

Unknown to the vigilantes responding to the March 6th attack, the bandits were luring them into the forest. According to traditional rulers who spoke to BBC Hausa thereafter, the bandits hid on top of trees, herded the vigilantes to a target spot and opened fire on them. 63 vigilantes were reported killed in the attack, but the death toll has been reported by residents to be higher.

Buhari’s strong words

President Muhammadu Buhari has made many failed promises to contain insecurity across Nigeria. He has even resorted to warning the criminal groups to stop. In reaction to the massacre of the vigilantes in Kebbi, he offered condolences and more strong words.

He said, “This egregious level of criminality is shocking and I want to assure Nigerians that I will do all it takes to tackle this monster decisively. My greatest preoccupation is the threat to life posed by these murderous gangs and remorseless outlaws who have no slightest regard for the sanctity of life.”

President Buhari also directed security forces to be more proactive and double their efforts to stop future attacks.

ALSO READ: “We Are All Smokers in This City!” — The Life of Port Harcourt Residents Under the Soot

Slaughter of soldiers

Buhari’s strong words did not get across, as the bandits struck again on March 8th, 2022. This time, they attacked the convoy of the deputy governor of Kebbi State, Samaila Yombe, who was visiting Kanya community in Danko Wasagu LGA.

A unit of about 30 soldiers of the 223 Army Battalion were part of the convoy that was escorting a commanding officer who’d joined the deputy governor for the visit. The bandits — an estimated 150–200 men — attacked the deputy governor’s convoy, and killed 18 soldiers, including Yombe’s security aide. The deputy governor narrowly escaped death himself.

Yombe said, “The bandits mixed up with the inhabitants of Kanya in such a way that it was difficult to differentiate and fight them. The bandits were equipped with PSA AK-P rifles — much heavier calibre weapons than AK-47.”

What is the government doing?

The military has failed to officially confirm the number of solders that were killed, but more have been deployed to Kebbi State after the massacres. The spokesperson of Defence Headquaters, Major General Bernard Onyeuko, said at a media briefing on March 10th, 2022 that “severe action” will be taken to redeem the situation.

President Buhari has not delivered more strong words as he continues his medical leave in London. But the Kebbi State governor, Atiku Bagudu, urged residents to pray for those that were killed, and for more strength for Buhari to fight the bandits.

The wives of some of the soldiers killed in the March 8th attack also protested at the residence of the 223 Army Battalion Commander on March 10th, 2022. They chanted, “Whatever will happen, let it happen,” and burnt tires in front of the commanding officer’s residence.

Wives Of Soldiers Killed In Kebbi Deputy Governor’s Convoy Protest

Some of the wives of soldiers who were killed in Kebbi State when terrorists attacked the convoy of the Deputy Governor, Colonel Samaila Yonbe (retd.) have protested. pic.twitter.com/VnfNDg706S
— Punch Newspapers (@MobilePunch) March 11, 2022

The activities of armed groups in many states in northwestern Nigeria has disrupted thousands of lives with many dead and many more displaced from their communities. Bandits were officially designated as terrorists in January 2022. The designation was intended to intensify the war against the armed groups and contain their reign of terror. But, as Kebbi showed this week, not much has changed.

ALSO READ: Everything We Know About the Murder of Ayanwola Bamise
The hallmark of great philanthropists is that they don’t boast about every good deed they do. We assume that is why the most generous President Muhammadu Buhari didn’t announce that he gave away $1 million of Nigerian taxpayers’ money to Afghanistan.

He would have got away with it too, if not for the big mouth of the people he donated the money to. The Secretary-General of the Organisation of Islamic Cooperation (OIC), Hissein Brahim Taha, announced on March 3, 2022 that Nigeria donated the $1 million to the Humanitarian Trust Fund for Afghanistan.

Remember the Taliban?

When the United States of America withdrew its military presence from Afghanistan in August 2021 after 20 years of fruitless war, the country’s democratic government quickly fell to the Taliban. The jihadist group taking over the country was a bad look for America, so sanctions rolled in. International organisations froze billions of dollars in aid and assets to Afghanistan, plunging the country into a huge humanitarian mess. As a result, millions of Afghans are now facing starvation.

The OIC resolved at a December 18, 2021 meeting to launch the Humanitarian Trust Fund for Afghanistan to address the humanitarian crisis. The organisation begged its members to help prevent an economic collapse in Afghanistan by making donations to help millions of Afghans that are in danger.

What’s Nigeria’s business with an Islamic group?

The Organisation of Islamic Cooperation (OIC) describes itself as “the collective voice of the Muslim world”. The organisation exists to safeguard Muslim interests in economic, social and political areas. It was founded in 1969 by 30 Muslim-majority countries following the burning of a mosque in Jerusalem. Today, the OIC has 57 member states including Afghanistan, and Nigeria, even though our country is not a Muslim-majority state.

So how did we get in?

In 1969, the Nigerian government was fighting a civil war to prevent Biafra from breaking away. General Yakubu Gowon, a Christian from Plateau state, desperate to win the war, tried to shake hands with every potential ally he could find.

This was his groove:

The OIC held its first Islamic Conference in Morocco in September 1969, over two years after Nigeria’s war started. Gowon sent a delegation with Nigeria granted an observer status, which is like the talking stage of a relationship. Over the next nearly 20 years, the OIC fell in love and started pressuring Nigeria to regularise and fully enter into a proper marriage. Many Nigerian governments, including Buhari’s military administration of 1983 to 1985, refused to cement the relationship because of Nigeria’s status as a multi-religious state.

General Ibrahim Babangida eventually made Nigeria a full member in 1986 without the approval of the governing organs of the military government at the time.

Critics have always condemned Nigeria’s membership as a ploy to “Islamise” the country, a theory that gained more ground since Buhari became president and attended an OIC meeting a day after his second term inauguration in 2019. But former Christian presidents, Olusegun Obasanjo and Goodluck Jonathan, have similarly attended OIC meetings and ignored calls to pull Nigeria out of the organisation. The late Umaru Musa Yar’Adua also attended.

Back to that $1 million

The Nigerian government has failed to address last week’s announcement, but it’s easy to draw a straight line between Buhari’s donation and Nigeria’s OIC membership.

And despite whatever good intentions were behind it, critics have questioned why a country that’s a recipient of foreign aid itself is spreading aid around.

Some critics are also quick to point out that the humanitarian problem Buhari is trying to solve with that donation is also an immediate concern in Nigeria. 22.8 million Afghans face acute food shortages, according to the United Nations’ World Food Programme (WFP). The same agency estimates that 13 million Nigerians are facing hunger, including 4.4 million of them in Borno, Adamawa and Yobe. Other critics are just worried the money is going into the pockets of the Taliban even though the OIC has pledged to have safeguards against that.

More than anything, the big picture of this whole episode is that Section 10 of the 1999 Constitution forbids Nigeria from adopting any religion as the state’s religion. Yet, Nigeria is a member of an OIC whose overriding objective is to safeguard the interests of Islam.

Buhari’s donation should once again resurrect debates about whether Nigeria should continue to be a member.
President Muhammadu Buhari’s administration is finally taking some major steps to address a troubling challenge with educating millions of Nigerian children.

There are more out-of-school children aged 5-14 years in Nigeria than there are people in Togo.

The United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) says there are at least 10.5 million out-of-school children across the country — the highest globally.

Lagos state governor, Babajide Sanwo-Olu, removed two of them from the streets in January 2022.

Best in Photo Ops. PhD.

How did we get here?

The swelling population of out-of-school children has been fuelled by socio-cultural and economic factors that have worsened over the years. Repeated attacks on schools that have led to the death and abduction of hundreds of students, especially in the north, have also not helped.

Some of the children most affected are girls, children with disabilities, children from the poorest households, in the streets, or affected by displacement or emergencies, and children in geographically distant areas.

The danger of having millions of out-of-school children who have limited future prospects is clear to everyone.

The almajiri “school system” has illustrated this many times (Image vis BBC Hausa)

Nigeria has been trying to deal with the problem for years, which is why there was an idea.

Alternate School Programme

President Buhari in January 2021 inaugurated a Presidential Steering Committee (PSC) on the Alternate School Programme (ASP) and charged members with a simple goal — take the gospel of education to children on the streets.

OMG, will they be snatching kids off the streets?

No. Well, yes; but it’s complicated.

The out-of-school children being targeted by the programme are those loitering at the markets, motor parks, mechanic and spare parts villages, almajirai and street beggars.

The children will be gathered in groups by the government and taught four subjects including mathematics, and English language.

Talking about the programme at a media briefing on February 17, 2022, the Minister of Humanitarian Affairs, Disaster Management and Social Development, Sadiya Umar Farouq, said, “We’re going to take the schools, teaching and learning to the places where these children are; be it in the sangaya setting, or in workshops where children are being used or in the shops where we have this kind of children.”

Why is an education programme being led by the Minister of Humanitarian Affairs, Disaster Management and Social Development, you ask?

That’s where the food comes in

The Alternate School Programme is not just about the education of out-of-school children, but also about their social protection.

The Federal Government claims to feed almost 10 million schoolchildren with its National Home-Grown School Feeding Programme (NHGSFP). The programme started in 2016 and provides a daily meal for pupils in year one to three in public primary schools.

The feeding cost of ₦70 per child was recently increased to ₦100, raising daily spending to ₦1 billion.

One of the programme’s main goals is to encourage enrolment of students. But critics have faulted it because they don’t trust that it’s helping to improve enrolment and believe it’s just another outlet to divert public funds.

The NHGSFP will now be adapted for the Alternate School Programme for out-of-school children too. Farouq says children will be fed as they are educated.

And we all know lunch period is the best part of school.

Is that all?

The steering committee adopted a work plan to guide the effective implementation of the Alternate School Programme in October 2021. Part of the plan includes onboarding the children to traditional schools after the end of the programme. They will be onboarded for further vocational skills acquisition and to relevant National Social Investment Programmes.

“Will there still be food?”

Status of Alternate School Programme

The committee has been meeting for more than a year now, but the implementation timeline is unclear.

The minister, Farouq, said at the February 17 briefing that spots where the children will be reached are being identified all over the country.

But if implementation fails, we can always trust Agent Sanwo-Olu to ~~use them for photo ops~~ save more.

Two at a time, baby!