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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.

    Image Source: Pexels (Actual interview subjects are anonymous)

    20-year-old Kabir is an NYSC member who believes in expressing love through gifts. In this interview, he talks about his money anxieties, moving from “Fanta and meat pie” dates to proper restaurant outings and exploring sex with multiple partners in his open relationship. 

    Occupation and location 

    A freelance writer serving with the NYSC in Jos. 

    Average monthly income

    I get a ₦30k allowance from my dad and ₦33k from the government. My PPA pays me ₦10k, and I make the occasional ₦20k on small writing gigs. 

    Relationship expenses 

    Birthday gifts: ₦25 – 35k

    Transportation to Abuja: ₦7k monthly

    How did you meet your partner? 

    Through my secondary school bestie who was dating him. 

    Hollup

    It was sometime in July 2019. I was with my friend at his house when he said Allen, his boyfriend, was coming over and suggested I wait to meet him. The three of us spent the rest of the day gisting and walking around the estate. 

    Allen was not as expressive as my best friend wanted, which led to quarrels that led to a three-month breakup, with me playing mediator the whole time. After they got back together, my best friend created a group chat with all three of us, and that’s how I got Allen’s phone number.

    Tell me you didn’t?

    LMAO. No jo. We only texted because he posted this fine 10/10 man on his status. I asked who he was, and he replied that it was his cousin. We bantered about how they were fine in their family. 

    Talking to him, I felt horrible because we had a genuine connection. Although he and my friend broke up two months later, it took a year in talking stage, bonding over shared trauma, before we started dating. 

    What shared trauma? 

    We were healing from the relationship with my best friend. Making new friends when I got into university later that year helped me realise how toxic the friendship was. He always made me feel less, made fun of my work and gaslighted me every chance he got. So when he sent me a long-ass paragraph about how I didn’t text, I told him we couldn’t be friends anymore because I was tired of reducing myself. 

    How did it go with Allen after that? 

    I was schooling and living in Osun state, while Allen lived in Abuja. So we only saw each other when I was in Abuja. We went to the park once, but most of our dates were at the cinema. He’d pay ₦3k for both our tickets sometimes, other times I got my own ticket. And we’d get snacks — meat pie and Fanta after. 

    Cute 

    He was a graduate in his mid-20s, and I thought he was very tight-fisted at the time. My dad had money, so it’s not like I wanted his. I just couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t allow himself to enjoy small luxuries like using Uber instead of public transport or changing his phone instead of continuously fixing it. 

    But later, I realised he was only like that because he was unemployed and broke.

    What’s changed now? 

    We go on dates to fancy restaurants, drink wine and eat Indian food. Both times we’ve done this, it cost ₦50k. He’s also very thoughtful and buys me things I like. For my birthday in 2020, he bought me a pair of Chelsea boots, perfumes and pringles. Last year, he got me scented candles, a diffuser, two perfumes, a planner, a tote bag and kilishi. He also got me an Apple watch a few months prior. 

    What about 2021? 

    Oh, we’d broken up for six months. 

    Sorry?

    I already knew he wasn’t the most expressive. But between being unemployed and living at an aunt’s place, he was going through a lot, which affected us even more. It didn’t help that I was in Osun state. At the beginning of 2021, I sent a text telling him I didn’t think he was reciprocating my energy, nor did I feel loved. He called me upset because he couldn’t believe I thought that. 

    The following day, I burst into tears in the middle of prayers with my family and ran out of the mosque. My brother had to come check on me. I told him what had happened, and he advised me to keep the friendship since Allen obviously meant so much to me.

    So I called Allen back some days later, and we went back to talking every day and just being close friends. By mid-2021, when I was going through a lot mentally, I leaned on him a lot. And he’d also just gotten an engineering job that paid him ₦75k monthly. At some point, the relationship started again. 

    I need the deets

    When I returned to Abuja, we agreed to meet up. He had a place, and I went there to see him. It started with casual talk about life then moved to intense talk about what we meant to each other and our lives together. 

    Do you have conversations about money? 

    All the time. He’s the more financially literate, so he knows all about the stocks and bonds market. While I save my regular ₦10 – 15k, he has stocks with a telecommunication company in Nigeria and some his dad left him when he passed. He mentioned in July 2022 that he wanted to get me stocks, but due to the fall in the stock market, he hasn’t gotten around to it. 

    Do you ever ask him for money?

    I can ask him if I don’t have, but I’d hate to make it a habit. I could say I don’t have money, and he’d send me ₦5 – 10k. 

    Do you get him gifts? 

    For his birthday, I got him a gold bracelet which cost ₦20k, and a wireless charger which cost ₦35k. Sometimes, he reminds me that I don’t have to do so much because he knows how much I earn. But I believe in expressing my feelings through gifts, so if I see something I think he’ll like, I get it. For instance, his watch strap is bad, so I want to get him a new one.

    That’s sweet

    We’ve both grown so much together. He’s gone from not having a job to getting one that takes him on international trips. And I’ve allowed myself to love someone enough to be vulnerable with them. I grew up with a misogynist father, and I was always against commitment because I didn’t want to be caged. 

    What changed? 

    We’ve worked hard at communicating our feelings better. He makes me feel cared for and listened to. I also made sure to leave the relationship open. Although sex is not that deep to me, being able to experience it with other people makes commitment feel less like a cage. Because I don’t think being in a relationship with one person means sexual urges or desires will shut down. It’s easy for me to separate sex from emotional connections. So I may hook up with people I meet on Twitter, but it’s nothing serious. Allen and I ensure we never get involved without the other person knowing. 

    In September 2022, my now ex-best friend, Allen’s ex, called him trying to come over to his place, but he told him his baby was coming over. And then revealed who the baby was. 

    OMO. How did he take it?

    I don’t know. I never reached out. We’d cut all communication, so I didn’t see the need to tell him. 

    True. What’s your ideal financial future? 

    I like nice things but we’re not flashy people. We just want to be able to afford things we want, buy a house, and go on vacation maybe twice a year. Allen’s career has already taken off and is doing quite well, hopefully, after NYSC I’ll get a good writing job that pays well.

    Do you have a financial safety net? 

    I try to save a lot because I’m very anxious about money, and poverty scares me. I want to be able to fund the life of comfort I grew up with by myself. So whenever I get my allowance or money gifts, I keep a portion of it aside. I have about ₦300k in my Piggyvest safe lock.

    You can also read: Dating in Lagos on an ₦80k Administrative Officer Income 

    If you’re interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship, this is a good place to start.

    Yes, I want to share my story

  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.

    Image Source: Freepik

    Oge (33) met Ugo (31) on Twitter in 2021. Two years and 30+ love emails later, they’re engaged and planning their future together on a combined income of ₦280k. 

    Occupation and location 

    Admin officer living in Lagos 

    Monthly income

    I earn ₦80k. 

    Monthly and recurring relationship expenses

    2022 birthday gifts: ₦20k

    2023 birthday gifts: ₦30k

    Occasional dates: ₦10 – 15k

    Ajo savings: ₦30 – 40k  

    How did you meet your boyfriend?

    We were Twitter mutuals who occasionally interacted on each other’s tweets. He’s a dietician, so one day in March 2021, he made a post about losing weight. I commented asking why he never talked about people trying to gain weight. He asked me to send a DM. I did and after a consultation, he gave me a meal plan. 

    For free? 

    He charges ₦15k for that but asked me to pay ₦5k because we were mutuals. I paid ₦3k upfront and planned to pay the ₦2k balance as time went on, but I never did. I also didn’t have time or money to afford the diet. Every time he followed up on my progress, I gave him an excuse for not starting yet. 

    He reached out to me about once a week for a month. So when I didn’t hear from him for two weeks, I decided to check up on him. He explained that he was busy, and I joked about him needing pampering. He asked if I was willing to take up the job. I said only if he applied via email. And that was the beginning of our cute emails to each other. They were random emails we sent to apologise, resolve arguments and express love.

    I was a bit concerned he was almost three years younger than me, but that was easily forgotten as I got to know him. We started dating by the end of June. 

    How do you feel about the age gap now? 

    Apart from the bants — I joke that he doesn’t have respect for his elders while he tells me I’m an agbaya — the age gap is insignifcant and we respect each other.. Although, I try to ask occasionally if there are times he felt like I disrespected him because I’m older. 

    I’ve learnt to be expressive and intentional because of how open and accountable he is. He tells me everything, from how much comes into his account to what his coworkers did at work. It’s how we were able to cope when I was in Ghana. 

    Ghana keh?

    I got a job as an admin officer at my uncle’s construction firm in Ghana just a month after we started dating, and I had to move. 

    How was life in Ghana? 

    It was actually pretty good. I was earning GH₵2k (₦160 – 180k depending on the exchange rate at the time of conversion). I lived in my uncle’s house and the company covered most of the transportation cost. I also bought perfumes from Nigeria to sell there. 

    Why did you come back to Nigeria? 

    I came to visit in September 2022, but someone I’d worked with previously reached out to me to help her oversee her business because she’d relocated. My uncle’s construction project had ended, so I decided to extend my stay in Lagos. I met my boyfriend’s family the following month. 

    Formal introduction? 

    Sort of. He met my mum and dad, and I met his as well. They already knew about me, but when I met them, there was a lot of scrutiny about my age. You know how the typical Nigerian thinks when a woman is past 30, it’s harder for her to conceive and impossible for her to be submissive when she’s older than you. None of those stopped Ugo from proposing in January though. 

    You can have kids in your 40s: What She Said: I Didn’t Know I Was Almost Six Months Pregnant

    How did that go? 

    It was a flop. He knows I hate public proposals, so he was planning a surprise at the beach with about three of my friends. Weeks before the day, his mum called me to ask about the engagement and why we chose the beach. 

    OMG

    I was with him, so he heard the conversation and was livid. The day he actually proposed, it was via email. We had an argument earlier in the day and were barely speaking. I went to bed pretty upset with him, but when I woke up hours later in the night, I saw he’d sent messages to my phone asking me to check my email. We spent the night reading all the emails we’d sent to each other since we met, and the last one was him apologising and if I wanted to marry him, I should reply with a “Yes”. I did.

    Do you have conversations about money? 

    Since 2021, when he was earning ₦80k, till now that he earns ₦200k, he’s been transparent about how much money comes in, goes out, and how much he saves. He knows how much I earn and I save too. We’re both part of an ajo. We save ₦30k each, and I try to save up to ₦40k in some months. 

    From your ₦80k salary? 

    It’s hard, but I try to stay within budget. I cook all my meals, and I don’t buy things for myself as often. I stay in my apartment most of the time, so I don’t spend a lot on transport. 

    How much money goes into the relationship? 

    We don’t really go out. Except for family events and church programmes, we’ve gone on about two dates at a restaurant under ₦15k. But the picnic date we had at the beach cost well over ₦20k because we bought snacks, drinks and fruits. I usually prefer we cook, watch movies and just gist indoors instead of eating out. Most of the money we spend is on gifts.  

    How often do you give each other gifts? 

    For his 30th birthday in January 2022, I got him a bracelet and a watch. I also got him a cake because he said he’d never gotten one. Everything was about ₦20k. I was still in Ghana during Valentine, so he sent a wig and dress through my mum who was coming to see me. He also randomly gets me bracelets, earrings, shoes or whatever he thinks I’d like when he sees them. 

    That’s sweet

    This year, I made a traditional outfit for him with slides to match for his birthday. I got the material from the market myself and made an ankara gift box, so everything cost about ₦30k. 

    I also got him two t-shirts, bracelets, a chopping block and wooden spoon set on my way from Ghana. 

    Do you have a financial safety net? 

    I saved a lot during my year in Ghana, so I have about ₦300k in my fixed deposit account. 

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple? 

    Asides his practice as a dietician, Ugo has a packaged date palm business. We’re hoping to expand distribution to supermarkets after he gets it registered with NAFDAC. I also plan to quit my current job in March, so I’m looking to get a better paying job, probably one remote as a virtual assistant. We’re praying and hoping something good happens because we can’t possibly start a family on our current income. 

    If you’re interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship, this is a good place to start.

    Yes, I want to share my story

    Read next: Dating on a ₦40k Monthly Teacher Salary in Port Harcourt

  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.

    From a student’s first Valentine with his girlfriend to the long-distance married couple and the writer receiving gifts from three different partners, this special #LoveCurrency edition explores the cost of Valentine’s Day for Nigerians in different types of relationships. 

    Product designer living in Lagos on a ₦400k salary

    How did you meet your boyfriend? 

    We were in our third year working on a group project, and he asked to get a recording I’d made during the class. I was in a relationship at the time, and he was breaking off his relationship. By our final year, we’d become close friends who talked and hung out. Since we were both single, we started dating in 2018. 

    How do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? 

    Between our busy schedules and Lagos traffic, we spend most Valentine’s Days at home. I don’t even remember it’s a special day, but sometimes, he buys me gifts. 

    Do you have a memorable one? 

    In 2021, we had a car movie date. We usually do this once a month, so for February, we used Valentine’s Day. We went to Ikeja City Mall to buy snacks, chose the two to three movies we’d see in sequence and set up his laptop in the car outside his house, while we snuggled up in the backseat. 

    He also got me a ring light and make-up — foundation, lip gloss, powder and eyeshadow pallet, all Maybelline products — because he knew I’d been saving their posts on IG.

    Did you get him anything? 

    I sent a small chops tray to his office with a note asking him to be my Valentine. I also got him these Chelsea boots I saw he’d bookmarked on his Twitter. Everything cost about ₦35 – 40k. 

    How much were you making at the time? 

    I worked as an account manager, and my monthly income was between ₦150 – 250k, commissions included. 

    University student schooling in Kaduna on a ₦25k+ income

    How did you meet your girlfriend? 

    Our parents knew each other, and we attended the same church. I always thought she was pretty, but I didn’t know how to approach her. Towards the end of 2018, I sent her a friend request on Facebook. We didn’t start chatting until April 2019. 

    In the three months that followed, we texted and talked over the phone a lot. I could tell she liked me as much as I liked her, so I asked her out in August, and she said yes. 

    Tell me about your most memorable Valentine’s Day with her 

    We’ve never really celebrated Valentine. I get her gifts, but because we were in different boarding houses when we were in secondary school, we didn’t see each other till the holidays. 

    What gifts have you gotten her over the years? 

    In 2021, I got her a bracelet, rings, perfume and necklace set for about ₦5k. In 2022, I got her four teddy bears — one big one and three small ones. They cost about ₦10k in total. This will be our first Valentine together physically. We’ve both graduated from secondary school, so I’m hoping this year is really special. I got her a Valentine package with flowers, cake, wine, card, bracelet and a customised mug. It cost ₦25k. I’m also planning to take her on a date. 

    How can you afford gifts? 

    I work at my mum’s farm, and she pays me ₦1- 2k per day, but it’s not consistent. I also trade forex and give my friend money to place bets for me. He enjoys betting, and he’s good at it. Last week, I gave him ₦20k; he won ₦46k, which is what I’m spending on this Valentine. 

    Writer living in Osun State on a ₦200k salary

    How did you meet your partner?

    I met my main partner on Twitter in January 2020. We were both in relationships then, but we spent a lot of time talking to each other. So we got together in July 2020, when our relationships ended. 

    I met my second partner in November 2021, at a university party, and we hit it off. We weren’t in a defined relationship, but we were together. I met someone else on social media, sometime around December. I had a work event, and I had to reach out to her about it. After the event, we stayed in contact. We didn’t date but we liked each other. 

    How do you celebrate Valentine’s Day with them? 

    In 2022, I told them I didn’t want to celebrate it, but I got a charger for my third partner because she’d been saying she needed one. That cost about ₦8500. My first partner got me a really cute dress, the second one got me lunch of about ₦7 – 9k, and my third partner gave me a foot and back massage and we also got ice cream for about ₦5k. 

    God, when? What are your plans for this Valentine? 

    I’m actually single for the first time in a while. So, I’ll just spend the day working and watching movies with my ex.

    Ex? 

    The first partner. We broke up some months ago but we’re still pretty close, so why not? 

    Content creator living in Lagos on a ₦250k salary

    How did you meet your partner? 

    We met at a friend’s beach party in October 2021 and exchanged IG handles and followed each other. But we didn’t really talk till January 2022 when he replied to a story I posted about taking 17 shots. By January 22nd, he asked me out on a date. We went to Rufus and Bees some days after, and from there, we started going out. 

    When did it become official? 

    February 27th. The plan was to spend the weekend at a hotel in Ikeja, so we stopped to buy food — he got me my favourite cheesecake. And when we got to the hotel, he asked me to be his girlfriend.

    So this is your first Valentine together?

    Sort of. Even though we weren’t dating till a week after Valentine, we still exchanged gifts. He got me a romper — I love rompers. I got him a wallet, two-piece co-ord and a man purse, all for about ₦30k. This time, we agreed not to do too much because our anniversary is in two week’s time. My budget for that is about ₦50k. I want to get him one of those gift boxes with shoes in them. But for Valentine’s Day, I got him brownies and a pair of sneakers, which cost about ₦23k. I don’t know what his plans are, but I already got my first gift from him on Sunday — a pair of sneakers. 

    Executive and HR assistant on a ₦150k salary

    How did you meet your partner? 

    On my birthday in November 2015, a friend of mine posted my picture on BBM. He saw it and fell in love. 

    FR? 

    LOL, just kidding. He asked for my BBM pin and we started talking. I wasn’t looking for anything serious because I’d just gotten out of a relationship while he was dealing with an ex. But during one of our midnight calls in March 2016, I asked the “What are we?” question and we agreed it made sense to make it official since everyone already thought we were dating. 

    And what were you?

    A long-distance couple. We were schooling in different universities and even when we were both back to Lagos, he lives in Surulere, while I live in Ibeju-Lekki. But it was still better than him abandoning me in the trenches. In 2018, he went to Canada for his master’s degree. 

    That’s a heck of a distance

    It was. We were barely speaking. Between school, work and the time difference, there was no time When we did speak, it couldn’t be for long. We started to have arguments and eventually, I told him he had to make me a priority too. Communication started to improve after that.

    When he finished his master’s, he had more time. 

    Good 

    Our relationship took a new turn once he got back. He returned in October 2019 for his sister’s wedding, and visited my dad to introduce himself. I realised he was serious about me. 

    But when he asked me to marry him in March 2021, I was both scared, nervous and excited. I knew I wanted to marry him, but I just didn’t think I’d get married at 24. 

    Valid concern 

    My plan had been to go to Canada for masters, but then it kept taking time because the money wasn’t forthcoming. His plan was for us to get married so he could start processing my spousal visa. So he came back to Nigeria in December 2021 for the wedding.

    How do you celebrate special occasions?

    He usually sends money, anything between ₦100 – 200k. But for Valentine in 2022, he sent money to my friend and they got food from my favourite restaurant, chocolates, and drinks.

    Do you gift him?

    I buy him things I think he likes — clothes and jewellery, and either wait till he comes or send it through someone travelling to Canada. Last time I sent a gift was in September 2022. Everything I got was about ₦50k. 

    Do you have plans for this Valentine? 

    We honestly don’t go crazy for Valentine. I’m going to work, then coming back home to sleep. I’ve gotten him some t-shirts that cost about ₦20k, but I’ll add some things to them as time goes on.

    Media executive living in the UK 

    How did you meet your partner? 

    We met on Twitter in November 2018. I asked people what they wanted before the end of the year and he said a date with me. He slid into my DM and we fixed a date but then I didn’t hear from him till weeks later. He apologised and said he was busy with work and wanted us to reschedule. 

    Did you? 

    The next time we met was at a mutual friend’s dinner, a few months later. After the dinner, we started talking more on Twitter and hanging out after work. We bonded over Game of Thrones and pedicures. We also had a lot of common beliefs and by lockdown, we were already dating and spent a lot of time together. 

    When did you start talking about money? 

    During lockdown, when we were staying together, we used to pull our finances together to buy things. 

    How do you celebrate special occasions?

    We buy gifts for each other regularly, and the more we grow, the more money we have and the higher the quality of gifts. For Valentine in 2021, he got me wine, chocolate and flowers. While in 2022, he got me a camera.

    What are your plans for this year? 

    I got him some gifts. Nike gear, sneakers, loungewear, a backpack, body massager and some other things. They cost about £500. I don’t know what he got me, but he said he spent £1k. We’re going to see a movie on Friday night and a mani-pedi date on Saturday, but for Valentine’s Day itself, we’d probably just sit home and drink wine.

    If you’re interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship, this is a good place to start.

    Yes, I want to share my story

    Read next: Dating on a ₦40k Monthly Teacher Salary in Port Harcourt

  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.

    Image Source: Freepik

    After losing a marketing job in Lagos, 30-year-old Chidi moved to Port Harcourt. Five years later, he’s managing a ₦40k teaching job, zero savings, ₦300k debt and a supportive girlfriend who believes his hard work will pay off some day. 

    Occupation and location 

    Secondary school teacher living in Port Harcourt. 

    Monthly income 

    My salary is ₦40k. But I get between ₦20 – 65k from home lessons. It’s not consistent. 

    Monthly and recurring relationship expenses

    Girlfriend’s birthday: ₦5k each in 2021 and 2022

    Miscellaneous: ₦5 – 10k whenever she asks

    How did you meet your girlfriend? 

    She was a beautiful youth corper serving in the secondary school where I taught in 2021. I didn’t think anything would happen between us because I’m Igbo and she’s Yoruba. But one month after we met, we started dating. 

    How? 

    Her ex is Igbo, so she didn’t mind dating outside her tribe. And she admired that I was willing to start from somewhere and put in the work, unlike her ex who was unemployed and waiting for an oil company job.

    Was that your first job? 

    No. I had one marketing job in Lagos in 2016. The pay was supposed to be ₦20k for three months before you start earning solely off commissions, but throughout my time on the job, I didn’t get one naira. 

    You say? 

    After six months of roaming the streets of Lagos looking for who’ll buy insurance, my brother asked me to stop. I was living with him, and he was paying my transport fare. Some days, they’d ask us to report to their office at Ajah, and my house was in Surulere. 

    I was 28 years old surviving off random ₦2ks and ₦3ks my sister gave me when I visited her house. I also held on to change from running errands for my brother. That was at most ₦5k a month. Some days, my bet would click, and I’d win big. One time, I used ₦200 to win ₦200k. 

    How did you spend the money?

    I bought a new phone with ₦30k, then I gave my sister over ₦10k for clothes and used about ₦10k for my transport. The rest of the money went to family members and helping with some bills in the house, since I still lived with my brother. 

    What happened after you quit your job? 

    I spent a year at home job-hunting. Even though my brother always tells me not to let my grades define me, getting a job with my third-class degree wasn’t easy. So in 2018, when my best friend from university called me to come to Port Harcourt because he thought I had a better chance of getting a job there, I agreed. I know ₦40k is not much but it’s better than sitting home doing nothing. After my first term teaching at the school, I started taking private lessons. 

    How’s that going? 

    At first, it wasn’t consistent, and the pay was around ₦20 – 30k. Now, I make ₦65k from two students and get referrals from parents. In 2022, I even got my own place for ₦150k a year. I want my babe to feel comfortable when she comes over. 

    How does it go when she visits? 

    We gist, watch movies, and sometimes, she buys foodstuff to cook. Other times, she eats Indomie, cornflakes or whatever I have available. 

    What does she do? 

    She’s a fine arts teacher and earns ₦55k for it. 

    Do you ever give her money? 

    I don’t give her an allowance, but when she doesn’t have money, I can send  ₦5k – 10k. In a month, the most I spend on her needs is ₦10k. 

    What about gifts on special occasions? 

    We didn’t do anything for Valentine’s in 2022, but I want to get her a gift this year. My budget is  ₦5 – 10k. Our birthdays are both in December, which is also when my rent is due. So I just sent her ₦5k for her last birthday, while she got me a perfume. I also sent her ₦5k for her birthday in 2021, but that was because I was in debt to different loan sharks. 

    How come?

    I started borrowing during COVID. Schools were not in session and only the subjects that didn’t involve calculations — English, Social Studies, Civic Education were included in the online plan. Since I taught mathematics, technical drawing and Physical Education, I wasn’t working or making any money. 

    I was ready to return to Lagos, but my brother didn’t think it was the best for me. 

    After I exhausted my savings, he sent me the occasional ₦5k or ₦10k. My friend from work, an older married woman, also gave me and my roommate some foodstuffs. But I still needed money to help with upkeep, food and data, so I turned to loan organisations.

    No savings? 

    With the high cost of living in this country, it’s impossible to save. I tried to in 2019, but when the COVID lockdown started, I had to dip into my ₦50k+ savings. Whatever money I get now is to survive.

    I started by borrowing ₦10k to repay ₦13k. Then I borrowed from another loan company to meet the payment deadline.  Sometimes, my three younger siblings would call to ask me for money — two are in school — and I can’t say I don’t have. I’d have to send ₦3 – 5k. I was also sending my mum ₦10k, but it wasn’t consistent. In two years, I’ve used over 15 different loan sites, and I’m still owing them a cumulative of ₦300k. 

    How do you plan to pay? 

    In December, the government announced that those loan sharks were illegal, so I’m not paying. I used to be scared of their threats, but now, I’m a comrade. I’ve cancelled borrowing sha. I’m trying to leave this school and look for a better-paying job. If I can find a school that’ll pay ₦150k, that’d be great. 

    Do you have a financial safety net? 

    If something happens and I need money, I’ll try family then friends. After that, na God hand I dey. 

    Fair. Does your girlfriend save? 

    Maybe. On my birthday in 2021, she surprised me with a cake, small chops, food, wine, Hollandia and even shortbread cookies. That must’ve cost a lot of money even with her ₦33k allawee and ₦10k salary from the school. 

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple? 

    My babe and I are trying to work on our finances. Her uncle wants to get her a state job that comes with accommodation and a salary of over ₦100k. When she gets it, we can start saving together, maybe in a joint account. 

    How do you feel about her earning more than you? 

    I don’t feel intimidated by that. Even if we get married and she earns ₦1m while I earn ₦200k, I’d still be happy for her. It’d be nice to have a solid support system. She’d pay for things like foodstuff, and I’ll handle rent. 

    Nice

    I don’t plan to be a teacher forever. The future is tech, so I want to learn to program. I could learn online or from my babe’s brother-in-law who’s offered to teach me. I just haven’t gotten money for a laptop yet. My brother also promises to teach me forex once he finishes learning this year. 

    If you’re interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship, this is a good place to start.

    Yes, I want to share my story

    Read next: Dating life of an undergraduate on a ₦160k+ monthly allowance with two boyfriends

  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.

    Image Source: Unsplash

    Peace*, at 23 years old, is working two jobs, saving more than half her salary and planning her relocation to the UK. In this #LoveCurrency, she talks about saving since she was 10, getting back together with her ex after a year and her father’s disapproval of marrying at a young age 

    Occupation and location

    Medical Lab Scientist living in Port Harcourt. 

    Monthly income 

    I currently earn ₦249k monthly. ₦150k from my main job, and ₦99k from my internship. 

    Monthly bills and recurring expenses

    Data: ₦12k 

    Transport: ₦16k. Twice a month, she spends an average of ₦8k per trip to and from Warri, Delta state, where she works. 

    Snacks: ₦10k on random cravings 

    Tithe: ₦24,900

    Savings: ₦150k total. ₦100k from ₦150k salary, ₦50k from ₦99k salary. 

    She doesn’t pay rent because she lives with her parents.

    How do you have two jobs? 

    Technically, I have one job and housemanship that I’m ghosting. It’s at a government hospital, and I barely go there. But I work at a private school health company in Warri. I’m there for two weeks every month. 

    Does that affect your relationship? 

    Not at all. The work is not time-consuming, so my boyfriend and I text, talk over the phone and send snaps whenever I’m away. 

    Nice. How did you meet? 

    You know how you have a cool friend you enjoy talking to online but have never met? That was Tobi in 2015. We had just graduated from secondary school, he claimed to know me from school. Our schools were close to each other, and I’d also heard of him. So we became Facebook friends. We moved to WhatsApp some months after but made no plans to see each other. He had a girlfriend at the time, and I liked him as a friend anyways. 

    What changed? 

    We were always talking on and off, but then one day in 2018, he called to check up on me, and we spoke for about two hours about general life and school — he’d moved to Cyprus for university. Our communication became stable after that; we would have long calls, texts, and send each other snaps. 

    In 2019, he asked me out, and I agreed. But then, I messed up, and the relationship ended a year later. 

    Ahh. What did you do? 

    I had a “fling” with someone else and told him about it. This was in February 2020. I liked him, but my head wasn’t in the relationship. He was schooling outside Nigeria, while I was in Nigeria, unsure of when he’d return. We’d started the relationship long-distance, and it didn’t seem like a good decision anymore. 

    After the confession, we decided to break up. Our conversations slowed down, and we’d stopped talking completely by July. That’s why I wasn’t expecting the snap I got from him in December. 

    What was in the snap?

    He sent his location, which showed Port Harcourt. Even though I was very excited he was around, I didn’t expect him to want to see me. But in February 2021, he texted me, and we met at a lounge. It was my life’s best date. 

    Why? 

    Finally meeting him in person was amazing. The conversation was great, he made snaps of us, and we held hands. He also sent me a sweet text later in the evening saying it was the best and most affordable date he’d been on. 

    How affordable was this date? 

    I’m not sure because I didn’t pay. And I had a date with my friends later, so I didn’t want to eat. We had wine and small chops or peppered chicken — I can’t remember. 

    Then we saw each other again in March. I went to see him at the hotel he was staying, and we spent the weekend together. 

    That sounds nice 

    Lol. Me that went there with my books. I had my final year exam that Monday, and man was not going to be why I failed. 

    LMAO

    Tobi is the type of person who just enjoys having you in his space. He didn’t mind that I was reading. He made sure I was comfortable and showered me with food. From rice to parfait, chocolates and ice cream. I don’t know how much those cost, but the hotel was at least ₦20k per night, and we stayed for two nights. 

    That must’ve been nice 

    It was. He was back in Nigeria because he’d graduated, so we went back to normal talking. A few months later, I started distancing myself from him to figure out what was happening since we weren’t dating. I didn’t talk to him or any other guy and just prayed for God to direct me. He texted me in May confessing his feelings for me and wanting us to get together. 

    See God 

    His birthday fell on the same day as my seminar defence, so I was busy. But I got him a cake and made a trad set for him. It was a bit tight, so he never wore it. Everything was about ₦50k. 

    Things were smooth until our near-breakup in March 2022, just after my birthday. 

    You say? 

    I had been on my shift that week, so I got home to see that he’d sent this huge cake, two lovely slippers and a food tray — I was really happy. 

    I don’t know what was wrong with me, but when I called the next day, I accused him of not allowing my picture stay 24 hours on his status. 

    God, abeg

    Omo, he was so furious. For the two weeks that followed, communication was very passive-aggressive. We had plenty of quarrels; one was about the guy responsible for our first break-up. 

    I was worried my friends were already getting placement for their housemanship and I wasn’t. I tried to speak to him about it, but he was still barely talking to me, so he didn’t care. I reached out to the other guy because we were friends, and he had a connect who got me a placement at a government hospital. 

    When he found out, he was even more upset that not only did I still talk to the guy, I’d gotten a job through him. 

    Well

    It was a whole thing. I ended up deleting the guy’s number for my peace, TBH. And then, he confided in my friend who called me later to explain that he was hurt. He’d cleared his account to get me gifts, and I was picking a fight over WhatsApp status. 

    When we talked about it, I told him I didn’t think he’d be upset about something I said jokingly, and I’d prefer to hear how he was feeling from him rather than a third party. He said he believed I knew why he was upset, so he didn’t want to spell it out. I told him that if we didn’t break up after that, we can’t break up again.

    Then he got an offer to manage his friend’s business in Ghana, so he moved there.  In April, my iPhone 11 Pro Max arrived and a gold chain weeks later. He’d literally gotten everything on my wishlist. 

    God, when? How does one even top that?

    You don’t. I got him a football jersey he wanted — it was about ₦65k — and some skincare products which cost ₦13,500.

    Not bad

    In September 2022, he asked me to visit him in Ghana. I told him I couldn’t go until he asked my mum. My mum knew about him because she’d heard my sister and uncle joke about him. She also met him during my induction in September 2021, but you know Nigerian mothers. She said she read a WhatsApp BC where a man murdered his wife during a trip to Ghana. It took plenty of begging and convincing from my sister and uncle before she agreed. 

    LOL

    I spent about eight days in Ghana, and it was so much fun. We went to a spa on the second day, hung out with his friends the day after and went for dinner on the fourth day. We went to the beach, went bowling, did karaoke, visited a botanical garden and got kente material from their market. We also went to the mall too many times to count. 

    Who paid for this thing? 

    He did. He said he’d been saving up for a while for the trip. 

    Do you have any idea how much he earns? 

    Nope. I can tell when he has money though, because whenever he doesn’t, he gets cranky. 

    Don’t we all? 

    He trades crypto in addition to the business in Ghana, so he tells me when his deals are successful. Some days, it’s ₦50k, others, ₦500k. I assume for someone to spend over ₦1m on a trip, which is what I estimated he spent, he’d have up to ₦4m more. Or at least, that’s how it works for me. I save more than I spend. 

    Does he know how much you earn? 

    Yes, he saw my alert one day during the trip. I usually never admit I have money. I learnt that from my mum.

    LOL

    Growing up, she taught me that you don’t need to spend all the money you have. You have to keep a portion aside. From when I was ten years old, I used to keep some part of whatever money I was gifted in a pink purse she gave me. Even though I kept the purse in her room, I remember sneaking out random ₦200s and ₦300s to give my uncle who lived with us then. He promised to buy me a car when I was in university. 

    Screaming

    I know Tobi has savings in dollars, cryptocurrency, and also invests in gold. I like not knowing how much he earns because I don’t want to get greedy or worry about how he spends his money. 

    Has this happened before? 

    Yes. When he returned to Port Harcourt in December 2022, he splurged on clothes, a ps5, a hotel room and outings. We went on two dates — one with his friend and his girlfriend and another with my friend and her husband. The double date with my friend cost about ₦40k in total. Tobi covered it after a tussle with the husband, who also wanted to pick the tab. With his friend, it was about ₦70k. He picked that up too, but the friend said he’d reimburse him. I don’t know how that ended, TBH. He wanted to enjoy December, so I get it. 

    After he got to Ghana, I texted him to ask if he still had his “UK money”, and he said yes. 

    UK money? 

    I’m trying to get a UK nursing job, and he’s been saving up to relocate too. 

    So you’re going as a couple? 

    No o. Even though it’d be easier, my dad doesn’t believe in young people getting married before they’re settled financially. I’m just 23 years old. He doesn’t even know I have a serious boyfriend, talkless of marriage. He lives in the UK and hasn’t been home since 2019, so I’ll just wait until I see and talk to him face-to-face. 

    What about your mum? 

    In December, I asked Tobi to come and state his intentions because my mother was asking. He did.

    So you did intro?

    Intro sounds too serious, abeg. Don’t give me anxiety. But yes, they met officially. He also bought 25 litres of groundnut oil for her and added ₦50k. I was at work, so when I returned, she said I had to get something for his mum.

    Did you?

    Yes, I got her an ankara material and added the money for sewing — about ₦20k. I’d gotten his mum stuff previously. A bag for her birthday, and I also got his niece a teddy bear for her birthday. ₦15k, respectively. 

    How much have you spent on special gifts for him?

    On Valentine’s last year, I got him a t-shirt, a cute short and a button shirt which cost ₦25k. For Christmas, I got him a shoe he told me he liked on IG. It was ₦35k. And a food tray of ₦12k that was delivered to him on Christmas Eve. 

    What did he get you for Christmas? 

    He gave me ₦200k. He owed me about ₦97k, though. Sometimes, he asks me to help him pay for stuff or send money to someone, but whenever he’s sending it back, he sends extra. I never have to ask before he gives me money. If I mention something I want, as long as he can get it, he will. If he can’t, he’ll assist with part of it. 

    Interesting. Do you have a financial safety net?

    I have ₦500k in my savings and ₦100k I lent someone. So, ₦600k. Everything relocation is being taken care of by my dad. 

    What’s your financial future as a couple? 

    It depends on how much money I earn and the cost of living where we’ll stay. But I want to be able to save £500 – 700 a month. And when Tobi gets a tech job — he’s started taking classes online — we’ll move to £1k or more.

    If you’re interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship, this is a good place to start.

    Yes, I want to share my story

  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.

    Image Source: Unsplash (Actual interview subjects are anon*)

    Bella* is living the baby girl life, with no job, heavy bills or need for savings. In this interview, she talks about meeting her two current boyfriends on Instagram and having her parents as her safety net.

    Occupation and location 

    University student living in Oyo state 

    Monthly income

    I get a standard ₦60k monthly allowance from my parent and between ₦80 – 100k from my partner. 

    Monthly bills and recurring expenses 

    Data: ₦22k 

    Feeding: ₦40k 

    Transportation: ₦20k 

    Wardrobe: ₦30k 

    There’s also my ₦200k rent, but it’s taken care of by my parents. 

    No savings? 

    I try to keep money aside sometimes, but it’s always with a goal in mind. I invested in a clothing line one time in 2020. I started with bespoke, so people paid me before I made their clothes. But when I decided to expand to ready-to-wear with ₦50k, the tailors messed up the sewing and fabric choice. I ended up having to give out most of them to friends. Abeg, I don’t like suffering. Whenever I get money now, I try to make myself comfortable.

    What does that look like? 

    Buying things that make me happy — clothes, shoes, food. I’ve spent ₦33k on two dresses in the last two weeks. Like now, I want to change my phone, and I have about ₦250k, but if I use it, I’d have to survive on garri till like February. My boyfriend promised to send me money for a new phone, so I’ll just wait. 

    How often does he give you money? 

    Sometimes, once a month; other times, it’s more. He usually gives me ₦80 – 100k. Although he recently sent ₦150k, so there’s no telling with these things. 

    How did you guys meet? 

    We met on Instagram in August. Laide* slid into my DM, and we started talking. He’s in his early 30’s and works in the US, while I’m 22 years old, living and schooling in Ibadan, Oyo state. 

    I planned to visit Lagos the following week, and coincidentally, he was going there too, so we made plans to see. In retrospect, he’d been following me on IG for a while, so he probably waited till he was visiting Nigeria to text me. 

    And what was your first meeting like? 

    It was nice. We met at a Chinese restaurant. I can’t remember how much the food I got was, but I know the menu was pricey. The food came in platters, and we had a cocktail and mocktail respectively. He spent an average of ₦70k on our everything. We spent the whole day and the next together.

    How?

    I was staying at a friend’s place in Lagos, so I just texted her that I wasn’t coming back that day. I spent the night at his place. The next morning, we went out for breakfast. I honestly have no idea how much that cost. We went back to his place after that, and his family visited later in the day. Meeting his little nieces and nephews was fun. Then he gave me $200 cash when I left in the evening. 

    What did you spend the money on?

    I had an occasion to attend, the asoebi plus sewing cost ₦45k. I also got some clothes and shoes. A dollar was about ₦700 then, so it was a lot. I spent the rest of the week visiting some friends and family I had in Lagos. Then almost a week later, he wanted us to see again. This time, we met at his friend’s lounge. It was more of a group hang because he had about five friends there. They were really nice and tried to involve me in all their conversations — from politics to relationships. In the end, they split the ₦150k bill. 

    I went back to Ibadan after that, but we stayed in contact. Two weeks later, he said he was returning to the US and would like for me to see him off to the airport. I already liked him at this point, so I came back to Lagos. I got in the day before the flight, and we spent the day at his place with his friends and family. In the morning, we went to the airport and said our goodbyes. He sent me ₦100k before he left.

    Aww

    Wait, there was another time we met, a few days before he travelled. He’d gone to see a friend in Ibadan, and on his way to Lagos, he stopped by my place in school. We spent some hours together and got to know each other really fast. That’s why it seemed normal to start dating before he returned to the US.

    A long-distance relationship? 

    Yes. The first month was hard because of the time difference. When I’m free, he’s at work; when he’s free, I’m busy. Sometimes, we went a whole week without talking to each other. I’d try to text and call, but he won’t respond. 

    How did that make you feel?

    Like I couldn’t rely on him emotionally which made me so upset, I ended up splurging on a dress. 

    How much?

    I can’t remember, but the highest I’ve spent on my shopping sprees is ₦20k. I’m a stress shopper. At the slightest inconvenience, I go to the supermarket to buy random stuff. Sometimes, I buy for my siblings; sometimes, my friends. 

    Interesting

    We eventually spoke about it, and he explained he was going through a hard time. He’s not the most expressive person, so I don’t try to coerce him into telling me something he doesn’t want to. 

    How are things now? 

    Way better. Since we spoke about it, he started to put more effort into communicating, plus we understand each other better. I realised I have to overlook some of his shortcomings to keep enjoying what we have now. Now, we text and send memes often, and when we can, we talk on the phone — usually for two to three hours. The relationship is not intense, but we’re good. It also helped that he came back for the holidays in 2022. 

    What are the things you enjoy? 

    Money. He sent me ₦100k and a cake platter for my birthday in October 2022. During his December visit, he also bought me a lot of clothes, shoes and a designer bag.

    And what gifts have you given him? 

    Nothing. He’s in the US, so that’d be difficult. And he doesn’t care for his birthdays. He appreciates that I even make the effort to be the first to call and wish him a happy birthday. He doesn’t expect anything from me, TBH. 

    How do you know? 

    I tend to gravitate towards people who treat me like a princess. I always get hair, clothes and shoes, both from people I’m dating and random people online. 

    Sorry? 

    I could post online, and guys would slide into my DM. One time, I complained on IG about issues with my bank. One guy asked for my account number and sent ₦50k. Another one sent ₦30k. I can tell some people I like something, and they’d send me the money to get it. Sometimes, we don’t even talk long enough for us to meet offline.

    Hmmm 

    On my birthday, I got at least 50 DMs.

    God, please

    That’s how I met Emmanuel*, my boyfriend.

    Huh? 

    I have two boyfriends at the moment. 

    Do they know about each other?

    No. 

    What’s the plan? 

    I don’t have one. Time could pass, and Laide and I would end things or Emmanuel and I would stop talking. I’ll just let time solve it because I’ve decided to have my cake and eat it. 

    Emmanuel is really sweet. He texts me every morning to tell me I’m the most beautiful girl he’s seen. We started dating this January, about a month after we started talking. 

    Is he at least in Nigeria? 

    Yes. He stays in Ibadan as well, so it was easy for him to come and visit me in December, just a few weeks after we started talking. We spent the day gisting, which was nice. He buys me food all the time. He’d just ask me what I want to eat today and have it sent to me. The food costs between ₦2 – 4k, and he does this at least once a week. He also gave me ₦25k some weeks ago as compensation for not getting me the wig he promised. He said he had some bills to pay, and I’d have to wait till February.

    Okay. How’s Valentine looking with two boyfriends? 

    Emmanuel mentioned getting me the wig and going on a date, but I don’t know about Laide. He’s not very romantic. I’d usually have to ask for what I want before he gives me, and I think it’d be inconsiderate of me to ask because he’s planning to send money for my phone. 

    Fair. Will you get gifts for any of them? 

    I haven’t decided yet. Maybe for Emmanuel. 

    Aren’t you worried they’ll find out about each other? 

    I don’t think that’s possible because they’re in entirely different circles. Laide is a businessman abroad. Emmanuel is a student. Also, if anyone leaves, I’d be fine. But usually, I’m the one who leaves. I’ve always been in relationships — although this is the first time I’m dating two people at the same time. I wanted to be single once, but that only lasted one month before I met Laide.

    Why?

    He was really sweet when we met. I could tell he was really into me. I also try to find love and money in the same person, so he was a great fit. He works hard and has a house in an expensive part of Lagos, so it was giving prime husband material. 

    Do you have a financial safety net? 

    Does my family count? Because I can always trust my parents to come through for me. Even if I don’t get boyfriend allowance, I’d be sure of consistent funds from them. 

    What about your ideal financial future? 

    I want to earn a stable income from coding. I can focus on exploring my interior design dreams with that income.

    Wait, I didn’t know you were a coder

    I was learning online before my laptop went bad, but I’ll fix it soon. I’m giving myself like six months to master coding. Till then, I’m living my life the best way I can.

    If you’re interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship, this is a good place to start.

    Yes, I want to share my story

  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.

    Image Source: Unsplash (Actual interview subjects are anon*)

    Alexei* is a 26-year-old man with a partner who’s 15 years older and earns enough to spend Alexei’s salary in one night. In this interview, he shares the misconceptions about their relationship, the power dynamic and how he gets away with being poor through the power of gifting. 

    Occupation and location

    Customer care representative living in Lagos. 

    Monthly income

    I earn ₦90k monthly.

    Monthly bills and recurring expenses 

    Transportation: ₦12k

    Lunch: ₦30 – 35k

    Internet: ₦7k

    Savings: ₦25 – 30k 

    Finish? 

    I live with my partner, so light and feeding are covered. I spend money only when I’m outside the house or gifting my partner. 

    How often do you give your partner gifts? 

    Because of my financial state, I only get them gifts on birthdays, Valentine’s and Christmas. Except for books, which I buy for them randomly. 

    How did you meet your partner? 

    Through a friend who posted my picture to wish me a happy birthday. They saw the picture and asked for my number. 

    Just two days after we started talking, they came to the East, where I was visiting family, to see me. 

    Why?

    They knew what they wanted and were too old to waste time playing games.

    From the beginning, they set the power dynamic of money. They stayed in the East for a day before flying back to Lagos. One day later, they asked me out. I’d never been asked out so directly before, so I decided to give it a shot. 

    How has the relationship been? 

    We’ll be three years in a few months, so, really good. I’m grateful that I’ve found someone conscious enough not to throw the fact that they make more money than me in my face. 

    What do you mean? 

    We never speak about money because they can’t relate to my money struggles. They have a great career and earn about ₦1m monthly. They can travel whenever they want, afford ₦2m couches and spend my entire salary on dinner without batting an eyelid. 

    But do they give you money? 

    This is not a sugar baby deal. My friends think I get a monthly allowance, but I don’t. We’re dating, and to me, that means partnership. They get me whatever they think I want, but I don’t ask them for money.

    For instance, four months after we started dating, my laptop crashed. I was at their place because I was staying over for a few weeks, so they went out and got me a new one for ₦200k. That was the first time I realised, “Oh, this guy has money.” 

    Omo

    When I moved to Abuja in 2021, my plan was to live with a friend, which I did for a few days. Then one day, they sent me an address and said that it was my new apartment. I got there, and it was already furnished. It had everything from an air conditioner to a bed frame — the rent cost like ₦850k.

    How did you navigate the long-distance relationship, though? 

    We saw each other once every month for a year, sometimes twice. I’d fly to Lagos on weekends or tell my employer I was sick so I could “work from home”. 

    Where were you working? 

    I was working at an investment firm where they paid me ₦70k. It was an internship that was supposed to run for six months, after which I’d be confirmed. But then, they asked for an extra six months, and at the end of that, they still fired me. 

    Wild  

    It happened around the middle of 2022. I started job hunting a few months later, and I got invited to an interview in Lagos. That’s when I decided to move back to Lagos full-time. But instead of shuttling between friends’ houses like I had done in the past, I decided to live with my partner. 

    What’s living with a tentative sugar daddy like?

    Our dates are very sporadic. Sometimes, we go months without a single date; other times, we go six times a month. The minimum spend is ₦40k, which they cover. 

    Since I don’t pay for stuff, I put a lot of thought into the gifts I give them. For Valentine’s Day in 2021, I commissioned four paintings with special notes behind each of them, which cost about ₦40k in total. That year, I also got them a nice senator material that cost ₦50k and a blue watch — because they love wristwatches but don’t have one in that colour — for about ₦70k. Even though they literally have everything they want, getting gifts that show I’m thinking of them is how I get away with being poor. 

    Smartest 

    I want to do nice things for them without having to wait for special occasions. There was this day we went shopping at Spar, and the bill was a little over ₦200k, but their card was declined. The whole time they tried to sort it out, I doubt they even considered me as an option. And sometimes, it’s things like this that get to me.
    Something I’ve noticed is when we go to high-end stores, the staff is nonchalant to me until they walk in. Then, the staff rushes to attend to them. It’s emasculating. I realised this is what women go through every time. Am I the woman in our relationship now? 

    Tears

    The worst happened two weeks ago. I’d sent their official driver to help me pick up a delivery, and when they came back to the house, the security guard knocked and said, “They’re looking for your daddy.”

    Ah 

    In my head, I thought maybe I did look poor. The guy insisted that my “daddy” should come to receive the package until I identified the driver and said I was the one who asked for the things. In his defence, he was new. 

    I’m sha giving myself till the end of this year to get my life on track. There’s this project management certification of ₦400k I’m saving for. If not for some unfortunate incidents, I should’ve been able to afford it by now. 

    What’s taking all your money? 

    Last year, I lost about ₦800k to a bad investment deal, borrowed a relative ₦1m, and the moving cost from Abuja to Lagos was about ₦60k. I also tend to send friends random ₦5ks a lot. Someone could call and tell me in passing that they hadn’t eaten, and I’d send them money. 

    Please, where did all this money come from?

    LOL, I used to do a lot of freelance creative and copywriting gigs from the time I was in school up until 2020. Sometimes, I’d get paid between $200 – $300 per work; other times, ₦40k here, ₦50k there. And I could comfortably survive on ₦15k for one month. I didn’t go out or eat out and only bought clothes once in a few years. I only spent money on essential things — food and data. 

    Must be nice 

    My partner and I are alike in that way. They don’t mind getting me anything as long as it can be considered a necessity. I had an interview last year, and they sent me ₦50k to get a suit so I could look the part. On my birthday weeks later, they surprised me with another suit as “backup”. 

    God, when? 

    The most we’ve done for each other was last year’s Christmas. They gave me about ₦1.3m in gifts. I know this because I saw some receipts. 

    I got a Samsung flip phone, a case to go with it, sneakers, a co-ord top and shirts and Samsung pods pro. I must’ve been a good boy, LOL. 

    LOL. What did you get them? 

    I made an outfit for them from the fashion designer they used. I contacted them claiming to be the assistant, so they sent sample styles. That cost me about ₦57k. I also got them a wireless charger for about ₦25k and a kitchen mixer aide — they love having cute gadgets in the house. That one cost ₦60k. All these were from my savings, of course.

    Not bad for a “poor boy”

    Being with my partner has made me lax with money. It’s not like I suddenly spend on trivialities, but knowing you have someone doing the heavy financial lifting makes you relax a little. 

    Do you have a financial safety net? 

    I still have $500 in my domiciliary account and ₦600k in my Piggyvest. My random savings accounts have about ₦100k left. 

    That’s impressive 

    I’d be more impressed with myself when I get a better-paying job because I’m turning 27 — this is my last year before I’ll be too old for entry-level jobs. I want to quit my job but need a way to pay for Valentine’s gifts. My taste has also changed. I now like to eat fresh olives, salmon, cheese… I need a good job to afford this lifestyle if they decide to break up one day. 

    Do I still need to ask about your ideal future? 

    Well, you already know mine is to get my savings up and contribute meaningfully to the relationship. And for them? They want to relocate in the next three to four years. They might go next year if the election doesn’t go how we want. 

    Don’t you want to relocate too? 

    I know they’ll want me to come with them, but I’m not scholarship material. I suck at assessments, and I can’t even afford the application fees for the plenty schools I’d have to apply to right now. What would I do abroad if I can’t get a decent job in Nigeria, even with my 2:1 degree? What happens after six or ten months when he’s tired of catering to my needs? 

    I don’t know if I want to give someone so much power over me in another man’s country. 

    *Subject refers to his partner in gender-neutral pronouns, they/them.

    If you’re interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship, this is a good place to start.

    Yes, I want to share my story

    Read the other Love Currency stories here.

  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In our Love Currency series, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.

    Image Source: Unsplash (Actual interview subjects are anon*)

    When Titilayo* met Edwin* in 2015, she was fresh out of NYSC and splurging her salary on clothes. But since they married in 2019, she’s become obsessed with saving. In this article, she tells Zikoko how she’s surviving on only ₦300k out of her ₦1.3m monthly salary while earning more than her partner. 

    Occupation and location

    Tax consultant and accountant living in Lagos

    Average monthly income

    ₦1.3m net salary; an average of ₦2.5m in annual bonuses.

    Monthly bills and recurring expenses

    Data: ₦20k

    Fuel: ₦20k

    Feeding: ₦200k. She mostly buys food in large bowls from restaurants. 

    Black tax: About ₦20k

    Savings: ₦1m 

    *Her husband covers most of the household expenses such as rent, electricity, DStv, and the likes.

    When was the first time you discussed money with your partner? 

    During the four years we dated, we were very transparent with our finances, but it wasn’t until 2019, when we got married, that I started to emulate some of my husband’s financial habits.

    Like what? 

    Saving! Before we got married, I used to spend over half of my salary on clothes while I struggled to make it through the month with what was left. It wasn’t until our wedding in 2019 that I started to see the importance of savings. Because even though our families took care of a fraction of the wedding’s cost and I paid for a few things, he’s the major reason we were able to have the wedding of our dreams.

    First, how did you meet your partner?

    I was fresh out of NYSC, and looking for a job that’d pay me well, when a friend of mine said he knew someone who could get me into the Big Four. He linked me up with Edwin, who in turn spoke to his uncle at a Big Four, and helped me secure a job. After I got the job, he’d call to check on me. He was also an accountant, so he’d ask me about courses I took — he showed genuine interest in my career. A couple of months later, he asked me out, and we started dating. 

    How was that? 

    It was nice. From Edwin’s ₦176k salary, we’d go on restaurant dates at least. He’d gift me ₦30 – 40k on my birthdays, Valentine’s and Christmas. He even got me a Samsung phone that cost around ₦40k four months after we started dating. 

    What of your salary? 

    I got him some small things, but the only thing that stands out is a Valentine’s package I got him in 2018 that cost ₦25k. My salary was for me, LOL. After spending about ₦80k on clothes, I’d have to manage the ₦49k left from my ₦129k salary or the rest of the month. 

    It still surprises me how I moved from being obsessed with spending money on clothes to being obsessed with saving. 

    What do you mean? 

    When my salary increased to ₦340k, I started to save ₦200k. When I got to ₦500k, I saved ₦350k. Now, at ₦1.3m, I save ₦1m. I think I can do this because I’m married, so I have someone who takes care of most of the household expenses. 

    For instance? 

    He pays ₦650k for rent, and ₦175k for our son’s school fees. In addition to monthly expenses like electricity, DStv or any other minor expense around the house.

    How do you do relationship things now? 

    Between our busy schedules and our son, we don’t go on as many dates as before. In the last six months, we went on three dates, and I paid. Previously, he would pay, but immediately my salary got to ₦800k in 2021, he stopped. On an average, our restaurant dates cost ₦40k, so it’s not as expensive. 

    We usually go for a mini vacation in December. Edwin gets us a shortlet here in Lagos for a couple of days. The change of environment is nice. We spend most of the time indoors then step out to try out a new restaurant.

    That’s sweet

    I was having such a nice time being in a different space, that I  tried to convince him to let us stay two days more. But considering he had also paid four days at ₦65k per day, he said I’d have to cover the expenses for the extra days, which I did.

    We’ve never celebrated an anniversary, and on birthdays, we do the same thing for each other — get a cake, food and friends. Basically, have a small party. 

    Gifts nko?

    We don’t do gifts again, but I give money on random occasions. When I got my 13th month in December, I gave him ₦150k.

    How much was the 13th month? 

    It was ₦980k. In 2022, I got ₦2.5m in four-part bonuses spread throughout the year. It’s from there I buy personal things for myself, send money to my parents and keep emergency funds. 

    Do you guys have conversations about money? 

    Because Edwin earns ₦880k, the pay gap is pretty obvious. Whenever I complain about him not chipping in with the feeding, he reminds me that he pays for most of the recurring expenses. He also gets upset when he thinks I’m splurging because I don’t have to pay bills. Sometimes, I wish we could switch to when he earned more. 

    Why? 

    It’s a big responsibility being the higher earner because even though I currently hate my job, we can’t afford to lose it. I make a lot of money, but it’s not showing because a chunk of it goes into savings — we’re trying to get a property, and it’s ₦25m. 

    Has your husband considered working with the Big Four?

    Working with the Big Four is a lot of work. As you can imagine, the plenty money they’re paying you is in an exchange for your sweat and blood. Watching first-hand how draining it gets for me is enough to discourage him from wanting to try it. I’ve thought of quitting a couple of times, but I can’t pass off that money.

    Do you have any other investments together? 

    Nope. I suggested a joint account the year we married, but Edwin wasn’t sold on the idea. He said I’d put ₦5k monthly while he put ₦10k. But that barely lasted a year. 

    Do you have a financial safety net? 

    Not really. I have ₦15m in savings, but since it’s for our property, I don’t think it counts. I try to keep a separate savings in my PiggyVest account, but honestly, it has never gotten up to ₦1m. The ₦700k I’d gathered was depleted last December. During the holiday, I sponsored a trip with my siblings and another with my husband. I gave my sister ₦150k for a new phone and gave my parents money. It’s just ₦300k left now.

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple? 

    If we can reach the pinnacle of our careers, we’d be very fine. I could go on vacations, change my car and just enjoy the baby girl lifestyle. 

    What’s the pinnacle? 

    I’d become a partner — last I heard, they earned ₦3m net and profit sharing of over ₦100m. While my husband would be CFO, I think. We just need some divine intervention that’d achieve this in five years time.

    If you’re interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship, this is a good place to start.

    Yes, I want to share my story

    Read the other Love Currency stories here.

  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In our Love Currency series, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.

    This edition of #LoveCurrency is brought to you by Fluid Finance

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    After COVID, Julia* quit her insurance job to focus on being a food blogger. In this article, she tells us how her boyfriend influenced her decision, going from earning ₦30k to ₦700k monthly and her plan to be financially independent.

    Occupation and location

    Food blogger, social media manager and influencer, living in Abuja 

    Monthly income

    In a slow month, she makes about ₦400k and ₦700k in a good month. 

    Monthly bills and recurring expenses

    Bolt: ₦84k on average 

    Data: ₦20k – ₦25k

    Clothing: ₦40k

    Service charge: ₦12k for light and water 

    Church donations: ₦150k or less

    Savings: She’s part of an ₦80k monthly osusu

    Black tax: About ₦100k

    How did you meet your partner? 

    During my NYSC service year in 2019, an uncle got me a job with his brother, “Chairman” (that’s how everyone referred to him). Apart from the insurance company I worked for, Chairman also owned a real estate company where my uncle asked us to meet. When I got there, my uncle wasn’t around yet, I had to find somewhere to wait, and that’s how I ended up in Festus’ office. He worked with the facility management department of the real estate company. We passed the time bantering and just gisting. He even offered me Eclairs chocolate. After two hours of waiting for my uncle, that didn’t show up, I decided to leave and he offered to pay for my cab home.

    Oshey, sweet boy

    LOL, I agree. I could tell he liked me once we started talking on WhatsApp in the days that followed. 

    What about you?

    I liked him, but I couldn’t date him till after six months.  

    Why? 

    I had someone else in my life, so it was complicated. It quickly became uncomplicated after the guy got married to someone else sha, LOL. 

    And that’s when you started dating?

    Yes. Because we can’t really remember the exact date, we chose the date in March 2019, when we first started talking on WhatsApp, to celebrate our anniversary.

    How were you doing the relationship thing then? 

    Even though I passed out from my NYSC in June 2019, I was still working at the insurance company where they paid me ₦30k per month. I didn’t have money to spend on him. He, on the other hand, used to assist a lot with cab fares and ₦5k or more, when I started visiting restaurants for food reviews in February 2020. He even gave me ₦30k for three months because he was trying to convince me to quit my insurance job.

    Why? 

    I didn’t enjoy working there. So he tried to convince me I could afford to leave.

    Did it work? 

    Since we couldn’t go to the office during COVID, I was mostly working from home, and I had time to learn more about social media management. After the COVID lockdown in 2020, the company started talking about transitioning to working from the office and confirming me as a full staff. Even though the salary was going to be increased to ₦70k, I quit. I couldn’t see myself working there any longer.

    And what did you do next? 

    I started working on building my brand. Somedays, I’d visit restaurants to try their menu and make videos for them. My boyfriend would assist with my cab fare and ₦5k on most days. During that time, I was charging ₦5k for six posts. In 2022, my rates moved to ₦100k per post, ₦150k for a reel, and ₦250k for a picture post, story and reel. I even hired two staff to assist me with posting on social media and, on few occasions, creating content from restaurants. I’m in the process of hiring a third person now. 

    Rich babe!

    LOL, I actually get fewer clients now since I reviewed my price list this year. When it was ₦100k for a complete package (story, reel, picture post), I used to get about 12 clients monthly. Now I only get three to five offers monthly. But I’ll choose quality over quantity anyway. 

    How much of this “new money” goes into your relationship? 

    We’re not really big on gifts, but we try to get something for each other on birthdays. For his birthday this year, I got him a cake and perfume. I also sent him money. Everything was approximately ₦70k. While for my birthday, he got me a cake, two customized shirts and tote bags for my brand.

    We still don’t go on actual dates because he doesn’t like going out, and since my work keeps me outside most of the time, I prefer to spend my time indoors too. 

    What does that look like? 

    We spend time watching movies, gisting and just chilling. He usually takes care of the major feeding. But either of us could buy the drinks and munchies. That usually costs ₦5k or less.

    How often do you spend time together? 

    I’m at his place at least five times a week, LMAO. It’s easier there because whenever I’m home, there’s always one expense or another I need to sort. 

    How come? 

    My parents are separated — my mum is practically a single mother of four. She works as a caterer, but the cash inflow is not steady, and since I make good money, I can afford to support the home. 

    So you don’t go out except for work? 

    I go to parties or for drinks on a few occasions, but it’s usually with friends and my boyfriend. The bill is usually between ₦15k – ₦20k, which we either decide to split, or one of us pays. I’ve been picking up the tab more often now. 

    Why? 

    We’ve had opposite years. With my brand peaking in March 2022, Festus is yet to sell any major property at the real estate company, which is usually how he cashes out. Although he now heads the facility department, he gets major bonuses whenever he sells a piece of property. When this happens, he’d send me about ₦50k – ₦70k, and we’d go to Shoprite for junk food because I love them. But since the money stopped coming this year, he’s now become more financially prudent.

    In what way? 

    He doesn’t give me money again. Every month after his salary, he has a budget allocated to each expense. But I’m never on the list because he believes I have my own money. 

    I’m sha waiting for next week when he’s supposed to close a significant deal. 

    Do you have conversations about money? 

    Nope. I went from earning little to earning much in a short period. Maybe when we’re seriously considering marriage, we’d talk about it, but for now, there’s really nothing to say. 

    Does he know how much you earn? 

    Not really. But I tell him whenever I get an offer. He definitely thinks I earn more than I do because now he borrows money from me and has a hard time paying. 

    How do you save? 

    I have ₦300k locked in my PiggyVest. I usually add randomly whenever I have money, sometimes ₦20k, ₦30k. I also like to think my Canon EOS camera is an investment, and I can sell it if I’m that pressed for cash. I got it for ₦410k in December 2021. 

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple? 

    I don’t know as a couple — I feel like anybody can still serve you breakfast, so I’m trying to focus on my own plans. 

    And what’s that? 

    I want to own a digital marketing company with about 30 staff members. And be rich enough to take care of me and two kids comfortably. Even if they have their father to provide for them, I’d love the financial independence to take them on vacations.

    *Names have been changed for the purpose of anonymity.

    If you’re interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship, this is a good place to start.

    Yes, I want to share my story

    Read the other Love Currency stories here.

  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In our Love Currency series, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.

    Image Source: Unsplash (Actual interview subjects are anon*)

    After 30 years at the bank, Mr Patrick* retired in 2014 and moved into his house in Warri, Delta state. He shares what led to his early retirement, how his friend ghosted him after an investment deal and putting his children through school on an epileptic pension supply. 

    Occupation and location

    Fabric trader in Warri, Delta State 

    Average monthly income

    It’s hard to say because the market isn’t fixed. But he gets about ₦30k in a bad month — which has been the case for most of 2022 — just enough to reinvest in the business. The only money he’s sure of is the ₦51k pension he receives every month and ₦588k in rent per annum. 

    Monthly bills and recurring expenses

    Feeding: ₦40k on average. His wife assists with this most times. 

    Fuel: About ₦20k, subject to the frequent hikes in fuel prices. 

    Data: ₦5k

    Transportation: ₦13k

    Electricity: ₦6k. His two tenants jointly contribute ₦4k to the bill sometimes. 

    Savings: ₦15k

    How did you meet your wife? 

    It was in 1992. I was ready to settle down, and a relative knew someone they thought I’d be interested in. I reached out to her. After a year of talking and getting to know each other, we got married. We’ve been married for over 27 years now.

    How were your finances at the time? 

    I was a bank worker for a long time, in different roles with different pay, so I can’t remember. I do know that in 2008, my salary was about ₦135k. The naira was still good then, so I had enough savings from that to buy land in three different areas. 

    How much did the lands cost? 

    I got one for ₦1.8m and the others for about ₦350k each in 2008. But I’ve had to sell two of them — one in 2015 for over ₦2m, and the other for ₦3.5m in 2017. Oh, I forgot about the land on which I built the house we currently live in. I got that for ₦600k. 

    Why did you sell the other two?

    In this Buhari’s Nigeria? I had three kids in the university, and with the bank retiring me two years early, I had to look for a means to survive. Retirement age is supposed to be 60 years, but mine came at 58 as punishment for a fraud case I was associated with in 2014. 

    I was the operations manager, and the head of funds transfer embezzled a lot of money using my password. We were close — family friends even, so it would never have crossed my mind to suspect him. It wasn’t until the internal department in charge of records went through the books that they discovered ₦4.4m was missing. The money had been taken in bits stretched over a year. When they traced it, the evidence led to us. They arrested both of us, but I was let go after he confessed that he did it on his own. 

    Why were you still retired? 

    For allowing someone else use my password. So while he was sacked and had to refund everything he stole, I was retired early and stripped of ₦3m worth of incentives. 

    How did your wife react? 

    I’m blessed to have a partner as understanding as her. And my kids are really great too. Everyone understood money wasn’t as available and adjusted. My wife is a businesswoman — she sells clothes — so she had to heavily support the family during the two years that followed. When our second child gained admission into the university in 2015, things were really hard, and she had to sell her gold necklace to assist with the fees. 

    How was life post-retirement? 

    It came with its challenges. In May 2014, I decided to invest ₦2m in my friend’s fuel station, and he was supposed to pay me ₦150k monthly for three years. Less than two years after we started, he fell ill and had to travel out of the country for treatment. I understand it cost him a lot of money. But the money stopped coming in even after he came back. 

    Ah. Why?

    He kept saying business was bad and there was no money. When I noticed he was avoiding my calls, I travelled to meet him in Edo state. Sometimes, after plenty begging and chasing, he’d send some money. He became a prayer point in my house. 

    Did you have a contract? 

    Yes, we did. But I couldn’t involve a lawyer because everyone knows going to court costs money I didn’t have. So I let it go. I don’t hold any grudges. Like a few months after the bank incident, my former colleague reached out to ask for forgiveness. 

    What do you do now? 

    I run a fabric business. When I started in 2016, business was good, but with how bad the economy has been, my business has suffered greatly. People are working hard just to make ends meet, so they’re not thinking of getting new fabric. Sometimes, I go a week without selling a thing. Still, I open shop Monday to Saturday just in case a customer comes. Some months, I could get orders to supply a friend for an event, and the profit would be about ₦50k – ₦70k. Part of the money goes back to the business and shop rent at the end of the year.

    And your wife? 

    She still sells women’s clothes from home. Most of her customers are either regulars turned friends or are referred by friends, so they meet up at our house when she has new stock. When they’re not buying on credit, they pay the money in small bits like they’re paying for crayfish. According to her, she makes about ₦80k – ₦100k profit on ₦200k stock. She used to get a ₦28k monthly pension, but that stopped coming about two months ago.

    Why? 

    Do we know? When the money comes, we rejoice; when it doesn’t, we’ll be fine. 

    Besides housekeeping, how do you spend on relationship sturvs with your wife?

    I buy her catfish barbecue. It costs about ₦3k, and she really enjoys it. So I get it on birthdays or give her between ₦5k – ₦20k to buy something for herself when I make good sales at the shop or whenever money enters my hand from rent or cash gifts. We go out sometimes, but it’s mostly with other married friends, so I spend less than ₦15k. 

    That’s nice. What does your wife do for you? 

    On birthdays, she cooks like it’s Christmas — rice, chicken, drinks for the house. My 60th birthday though, she also got a cake and invited our friends over. When I asked how she funded everything, she said the kids helped. 

    So you don’t really buy gifts for each other?

    When things were better, she’d buy me perfume, a watch, clothes or whatever she thought I needed. Even then, I mostly gave her money because she’d rather buy what she wants by herself.

    Do you have joint investments or accounts? 

    We’re very transparent with our finances, but we’ve never tried to put our money in the same place. The only thing we do that’s close to a joint account is our monthly osusu with a couple of other people. We contribute ₦15k each. 

    What about your kids? 

    They’ve long graduated from school and are working now. They don’t ask for money. Maybe it’s because they’re doing okay for themselves, or they don’t want to stress us. But they even send us money. This year, they put us on some sort of monthly allowance — sometimes ₦30k, sometimes ₦50k. It helps around the house. 

    Do you have a financial safety net? 

    Not exactly. I still have two plots of land in Warri and family land in my village. But that’s all. 

    What’s your ideal financial future? 

    Future? At 63 years old, it’s hard to have plans for the future. I hope both our businesses pick up, my children become successful in their careers, and the economy becomes favourable for us to afford more land, vehicles, and investments. 

    If you’re interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship, this is a good place to start.

    Yes, I want to share my story

    Read the other Love Currency stories here.