• First of all, where did women even get the audacity to send us, alpha males, on petty errands such as ironing their clothes? It’s the fault of FemCo, Fumilayo Ransome Kuti and the first ever man to agree to this nonsense. Let me tell you now, men hate ironing women’s clothes. 

    In fact, these are the things men would rather do than iron women’s clothes:

    Chew their jeans

    I’d personally eat a bucket of stones before agreeing to iron a woman’s lace. Whyyy are they so complex? 

    Refuse to kiss their homeboys goodnight

    Do you know what it means to ABSTAIN from platonically kissing your homeboys goodnight on the lips? If the choices were between doing this and ironing women’s clothes, many men would sadly pick the former. That shows you how much we hate ironing women’s clothes. 

    Abstain from lying

    Imagine waking up and deciding not to lie. As a man, you might not be able to wrap your head around this concept. But if what was at stake was not having to iron some shimi or palazzo ever again, my brother, you’d consider it. 

    Also Read: 9 Things That Heterosexual Nigerian Men Are Not Allowed to Do

    Abstain from cheating

    “The hardest choices require the strongest wills.” – Oluwathanos Olajide. Some things are more important than your innate desire to cheat. 

    Stop arguing Messi vs Ronaldo

    Imagine a world where the names Messi and Rolando come up and nobody argues. Where you just hear, “Yeah, I guess they’re both good footballers.” That’s a world where men have had to sacrifice so much to never again iron women’s clothes. 

    Throw away their console

    Hey babe. Would you rather throw away your PS5 or iron this stoned lace six-piece gown? 

    But if you eventually fall into the Godforsaken trap of women, and have to iron their clothes, here’s what you should do? 


    You Should Also Read: 8 Things a Real Man Must Never Be Seen With

  • You want to know why the Nigerian women in your life do not iron clothes? Well, here are six very simple reasons.

    1) Clothes

    Have you seen the clothes of an average Nigerian woman? Where do you expect them to start the ironing from? With all the ruffles, puffs and pleats. The clothes look like they were made by structural engineers. Abeg.

    2) They want to give you the opportunity to love them

    If your love language is acts of service, there must be a service before you can act. So, they are helping you prove you love them by giving you a service to act on. You cannot afford gift giving and traffic will not allow you do quality time, so be happy with this one. In fact, you should be telling them thank you.

    3) The economy

    Imagine what will happen to all the dry cleaners in Nigeria if Nigerian women started ironing their own clothes? They will all close shop and then the poverty and employment rate in the country will increase. Their decision to never iron their clothes is singlehandedly keeping the Nigerian economy afloat.

    4) Lack of wickedness

    The only people that enjoy ironing are wicked people that are practicing for how hot hell will be. Since Nigerian women are Angels and will never go to hell, they do not engage in such activities.

    5) Time consciousness

    Do you know how long a good face beat takes? You now want them to beat their face AND iron their clothes? It is like you do not want to go where you are going on time.

    6) It is a social construct

    The concept of ironing clothes is a social construct created as a means to stress women. So what if clothes have wrinkles???

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