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  • Good news. Two coronavirus vaccines have shown some serious promise and might be deployed as early the last days of November. Yaay. While this doesn’t mean COVID will be over by Christmas or even late next year, it’s safe to make plans a future where something close to normalcy is restored. Like many others, Nigerians are getting ready to go back to the things they’ve missed during the pandemic.

    1. Fornicate

    If there’s one thing Nigerians like above partying, it is fornicating. For hardened fornicators among us, the pandemic has been difficult. You see those ones in long-distance relationships? Hmm.

    12 easy ways to initiate sex with your husband - Motherhood, Parenting, Lifestyle Blog Nigeria

    2. Go clubbing

    It has been burning Nigerians inside their bodies that they have been able to club for 8 months. Once things go back to normal, Quilox will look like crusade ground.

    3. Go for church crusades

    Speaking of crusade grounds, it’s been a minute since your mother had the opportunity to call down holy ghost fire among her peers. You just know the first church crusade after the pandemic is going to slap so hard.

    4. Owambe

    The way weddings and other parties are going to return with a vengeance, you’ll think people were trying to kill themselves.

    5. Beach

    The beaches have been empty for a long time. Once the pandemic is over:

    6. Travel

    The pandemic has had the world on lockdown throughout this year. For the rich we’re meant to be eating, they’ve missed posting champagne in front of the passport on IG stories. All they’ve been posting is old vacation pictures captioned “Take me back😭😭”

    Passports and Boarding Passes | Travel photos, Trip, Traveling by yourself

    7. Restaurant-hopping

    You know these people. Every Saturday, they are at a different restaurant. During the lockdown, all their IG was quiet. When things return to normal, you’ll have to check whether its them you’re following a food channel.

    Cactus Restaurant, Victoria Island (Lagos)-Review

    Read: 5 Ways To Handle A Long Distance Relationship

    [donation]

  • There has been a wave of the discovery of Covid-19 palliatives all across Nigeria. This is coming just after the wave of the recent #EndSARS protests.

    But while many state governments say that the discovered palliatives are for the poor and vulnerable people and that they were meant for onward distribution to other states, some people are wondering how long it was taking the government to finally distribute these food items.

    Meanwhile, people have also been killed by security operatives while in search of these Covid-19 palliatives.

    https://twitter.com/onyiforlife/status/1319698172600614934

    We rounded up 5 states where warehouses that were supposed to house Covid-19 palliatives have otherwise become a treasure hunt for some Nigerians.

    1. Lagos State

    2. Osun State

    https://twitter.com/AyamDamiee/status/1319596434530906114?s=19

    3. Calabar, Cross-River State

    4. Jos, Plateau State

    5. Kwara State

    Find more information on the EndSARS Movement here

  • The coronavirus pandemic caught the whole world off-guard and largely unprepared. The world switched into self-preservation mode and put stringent rules in place to curb the spread of the virus. Then, came the total lockdown of activities. Schools were not spared.

    Usually, Nigerian students are at their busiest in their final years as they have to write projects and write examinations. Alas, even that was brought to a standstill as lives had to be saved first.
    I asked a couple of final year students from different Nigerian universities to share what their experiences with the pandemic have been.

    Christian Ndukwe, Alex Ekwueme Federal Teaching Hospital, Abakaliki – Caught in a love triangle

    I always thought love triangles involving lecturers and students were absent in nursing schools until I got caught in one. I liked a female colleague, but her guardian, a reverend father, disapproved of our relationship. At first, I thought he was being overly protective. But that wasn’t the case. He had been having sex with her for over a year now. She told me she would have loved to be with me but feels her education might be affected if she did. When the ‘rona came around, the resistance to our relationship became more serious. The school’s dean of students affairs summoned me and threatened to expel me. He asked me to put down the names of the girls I’ve had sexual relations with. When I refused, he promised to deal with me.

    I had a problem with my course registration, but he refused to fix it until I succumbed to their wishes. I couldn’t understand what the fuss what’s all about, so I didn’t change my position on the matter. Eventually, he got my Statistics lecturer on his side, who said he would make sure I failed his course because I missed more than 50% of his lectures.

    I discussed the newest development with the girl, and we agreed to break off the relationship. I really wished we were still together, but when the result was announced and I cleared all my papers, I knew it was worth the sacrifice.

    Arinze Christian, University of Nigeria – Trapped in school

    After the COVID breakout, I had some project stuff to settle. I thought staying in school would give me space and time to accomplish a great deal on my project, but I was wrong. I couldn’t work effectively because everyone had left the school,– the entire school was like a graveyard, 7 PM became the new 12 midnight. It was so boring and frustrating. If the internet didn’t exist, I have no idea how I would have survived. When the inter-state ban was lifted and I didn’t hesitate to leave. I am now at home thinking and missing school. What a life!

    Precious Nwajuaku, Nnamdi Azikiwe University – Survived on garri and water without sugar

    During this pandemic, staying at home wasn’t a pleasant experience for me. I was always having issues with my mum over many things, especially money.

    When school was in session, my mom tried her best to send me money, so I was not always broke. But when the pandemic hit, collecting money from her proved to be difficult. If she decided to give me, I wouldn’t hear the end of it for the rest of the day. Not that I blame her much!

    The governor of my state declared a total lockdown of the state. We didn’t get the information on time, so we didn’t stock the house with food. The risk of getting arrested made us think twice about going outside. I remember sneaking outside when the hunger was getting too much to go to a woman who sold bread on my street, only to find out that her store was closed. God! We lived on garri and water without sugar for the next three days!

    Temidayo Jacob, University of Ilorin – Had to get an affidavit

    Graduating this year is on God. I guess I have moved on with my life. Whatever it is, it is. It’s bad enough to live during a pandemic, but banks have gotten more frustrating than usual.

    I went to a GTbank branch close to my lodge in school to open an account. I was out in the sun for 4 hours. To crown it all, their customer service was terrible.

    While I was waiting, the security man freely allowed affluent people in without stress. I was irritated that one set of people were prioritised over the others, and were allowed in as soon they arrived while we wey no sabi pesin and had no car stayed under the sun. Laslas, na person wey get property actually get money for the bank.

    On opening the account, I was asked to go to court to get an affidavit to update my BVN details. A whole me? Go to court? I just gave up on the whole thing and went home straight to sleep.

  • Now that the world is opening up, some expenses that you were able to hide from thanks to the lockdown will finally come and drag you by the trousers. Holiday is over; time to pay the price.

    Here, we listed some of the expenses that you managed to dodge during the lockdown but they will soon come for your neck. God be with you.

    1. School fees

    30+ people are already breathing heavily because of the upcoming threats of new school term fees and other related expenses. At this point, you’re just checking the news everyday to know when the government plans on reopening schools. It’s not easy.

    2. Parties

    Remember all those parties that were cancelled because of the lockdown? They’re coming back with a vengeance. Especially weddings. Nigerians being Nigerians, they have been itching for a party forever. Once the lockdown is completely over, this country won’t contain us. 

    3. Car maintenance

    You’ve parked your car since March because you’ve been working from home. Now HR has said everybody should come inside o and you’re wondering what new faults your car ha developed since then. Go on, call your mechanic. He won’t bite (I hope).

    4. Lunch dates

    Restaurants have now happened and you know what that means: your friends are about to suggest that you all “try out this nice place.” In Nigeria, Nice = Expensive, so you do the math.

    P.S You can always tell them that you are not feeling hungry.

    5. Clubbing

    Clubs aren’t open yet but we know that’s coming soon. You know you can’t sit down in one place, so you’ll be the first person  to open the gate when they open. I don’t blame you; I too want to receive grinds to Burna’s new album in Quilox. But you also know what that means for your account balance:

    I know you’re wondering what to read next. This is the one: You Know You’re Drunk When You Do These 8 Things.

  • COVID

    Ever since the lockdown eased up, there has been a relaxed atmosphere among Nigerians. Fewer people are wearing masks and there are “small parties” happening all over the country. Understandably, people are tired. 

    How worried would you feel if you avoided these parties, followed the necessary guidelines, and still got COVID-19? Today, Lisa and Tomiwa share their experience with taking precautions and still getting infected.

    When did you first suspect that you had COVID-19?

    My wife fell ill, and that made us get tested. I wouldn’t have known I was sick if she hadn’t fallen ill because I’m completely asymptomatic.

    Damn, what were her symptoms?

    She had a fever that lasted two or three nights. The type where the fever disappeared during the daytime and came back at night. She was also tired – a lot of fatigue – like constantly tired.

    Then she lost her sense of smell.

    Wow.

    Prior to her falling ill, she would go to work once a week. Other than that, we only went out for essential shopping like groceries. And that was like once every two weeks. Apart from grocery shopping, I’ve not had any reason to go out because I’ve been working from home.

    At the beginning of her illness, I think she went to work once – One day when she was feeling better, and before we got the diagnosis that it was COVID-19. Immediately we got the diagnosis, we informed people in our compound. Now, we’re just isolating inside our house.

    We are fitness people. Before this started; we were dosing up on vitamins, keeping fit and just staying healthy. Our cook came in one Monday morning after going home for the weekend and said he had malaria, so we sent him home. We told him to go isolate and get tested. Then my wife fell ill the next day.

    We are a little bit concerned that she might have gotten it from him. Now it’s just the two of us at home and I’ve been looking after her. It’s been two weeks of giving her vitamins, food, and just kind of keeping the house together. She’s been fine and hasn’t been doing too much. 

    Has this affected the quality of your 9-5?

    Not significantly.

    The best thing about working from home is that your schedule is your own. If you want to wake up earlier, you can do that. If you want to work later in the evening, you can also do that. The difference between being in the office and now is that I’ve done a hundred loads of laundry since this thing started. 

    It just feels like I’m always washing clothes. It feels like I’m always doing dishes. It’s just the two of us at home, why are there so many bloody dishes? Why are there so many bowls? 

    You just do stuff on your own schedule. If you have a call, you take your call. The thing about calls is that if it’s a conference call where you’re not the one talking, you can mute and be doing the dishes while it’s happening. So, you’re taking your phone and moving it around while you’re doing things. You finish a call, you make lunch, you do some work, you do the dishes.

    Because we’re home, it’s a bit easier to manage the time pressure and the logistics of the thing. If she were ill and I had to go to the office, that would change the equation completely. In a sense, it’s a blessing that it’s happening this way.

    I’m curious. Are you saying she got Corona even with preventive measures?

    In the first two months of the quarantine – like March, April and most of May, we were super strict. As I said, we have someone who works with us, but for at least the first 8 weeks, we just sent him home – and we were paying salary o. Just sit down in your house and be collecting salary, don’t come to work. We also didn’t receive visitors.

    The lockdown eased in like two or three stages. When the government eased it the second time, we were like “we’re tired”, so we let the guy come back to work.

    Then, after they released the lockdown again, my wife started going to work.

    When the cook came back to work – we told him to have a shower, change his outside clothes to inside clothes, and wear a mask before coming into the house. We knew that wasn’t the most ideal protocol but we relaxed a little bit, with the mask.

    Why didn’t your wife continue working from home?

    She works in manufacturing and they sometimes have to go in.

    Ah, I see. What has been the scariest day since she got ill?

    The scariest day health-wise was the first day. She had a fever so bad that I really wanted to take her to the hospital but we knew that hospitals would turn us back because of COVID fear. She had really bad headaches, and was super tired; that was worrying. When she lost her sense of smell, we were like “oh, this might be COVID.” Then when we got our results, we were like “right, we’re positive.” 

    Then there was having to tell people. There’s still a huge stigma to it; different people react differently. Some people were angry with us for not telling them quickly enough, others were really worried for us – We were just like we have this thing but don’t be scared, she seems to be okay. Thankfully, I think her case is relatively mild. She hasn’t had any breathing issues. She’s been taking her vitamins and just resting. She took paracetamol to break the fever. But it hasn’t been as bad as some of the cases we’ve heard of.

    So, I think the health scare hasn’t been as bad for us.

    Whew! How did you guys even get tested?

    So we did two tests.

    A friend had the antibody tests and we took two of those. It’s a blood test that you do at home. The way it’s supposed to work is that if you have the disease or you’ve had it, there are antibodies to show that your body is fighting it. Or that your body developed antibodies to fight it.

    There’s an IgG antibody. Basically, if you have it, it means your body is currently fighting it. Then, there’s IgM which means you had it and your body developed antibodies to fight it. So, we took that and they came back negative. But we were advised to still take a proper COVID test.

    My dad told us about Mainland hospital in Yaba where we could get it done. So we just drove down there and got tested, it took about 90 minutes and it was completely free. They sent us back home, and we got our results back in about 3 or 4 days.

    How did you guys handle the apprehension as you waited? 

    She became sick on a Tuesday. We thought it doesn’t seem like COVID. It’s just a headache, fever, tiredness. Then by Friday of that week, she lost her sense of smell. So, we were like “ah, this might be COVID.”

    Before we even knew it was COVID, we went to a regular hospital. They did a blood test for malaria and it came back negative. We then went to Mainland hospital in Yaba to get tested for COVID. And remember, it took them 3-4 days to get our results. So, we were basically managing it ourselves for almost two weeks.

    The instructions from the internet have been to boost your immune system: Eat food that’ll boost your immune system. Take vitamins like Vitamin c, Zinc, Vitamin D and then a general multivitamin. If you have a fever, take paracetamol. So, there’s no chloroquine, or treating yourself for malaria and all of that. Just treat your symptoms, isolate at home, and drink lots of fluids. 

    We did have some apprehension after we took the test that she might have to go to an isolation centre, but we’ve been able to isolate at home. 

    So, it’s been like DIY?

    Ish.

    Cool. What about this current crisis gives you hope based on your own experience?

    There are two or three things that give us hope:

    One – She got it and it wasn’t as bad as we’ve heard it can be. I don’t know if it’s because we have a lighter strain in Nigeria. I don’t know if it’s because she has no relevant underlying conditions. She was in really good health ahead of time. We are fitness people and take vitamins even when there’s nothing on the horizon. If you have a healthy immune system and no underlying condition, there’s a possibility that it won’t be that bad. I’m not saying people shouldn’t take it seriously, but we got a relatively mild case of it.

    Secondly, I’ve been asymptomatic. so that gives some kind of hope. Like my test came back positive, but I’ve been fine. I don’t know if I’m immune or anything, but I’m fine.

    Thirdly, the testing was efficient even though 90 mins is a long time to wait. To be fair, we were number 98 on the queue. There were a lot of people and it was relatively well-spaced and organized. It was orderly, there was not too much shalaye. The process was just to fill this form and give them that information, then we got tested. It looked like it was a well-run process.

    The results take some time to come out, which can be a bit annoying. Other than that, it’s fine.

    Nice. How have you been coping with the isolation boredom?

    So, both of us have been working out at home. Even with this thing, we’re still exercising. It’s also been work, tv, and books. 

    The silver lining of this thing is that I’ve never hung out alone with my wife for so long – that’s a good thing. I’m enjoying that.

    COVID

  • If you’ve been observing the Nigerian government since Lady Corona hit, wondering what the thought process is behind the decisions they make regarding the outbreak, you’re not alone. Also, the reason you haven’t been able to figure out their plan for this pandemic is that they don’t have one.

    I don’t think they ever did.

    This explains why they keep making decisions that imply they have some kind of agreement with Her Royal Virus. Decisions like:

    1) The fact that they made this claim:

    They said this with their chest like they’d bribed Miss Rona to skip Nigeria during her world tour. The worst part? We fell this fucking lie.

    2) The fact that they eased the lockdown and placed a curfew:

    Some of the rules that came with this made sense (wearing masks, ban on interstate travelling etc). But what was the point of the curfew? We’re trying to avoid being infected by a virus, not escape a gang of vampires. So what was the reason?

    3) The fact that they gave this order:

    Am I missing something? Does Miss Rona know to not infect people in gatherings of more than 20 if they’re in church?

    4) The fact that they decided on this:

    I guess Rona’s gonna wait 60 mins at every church service before she starts attacking people. Good to know.

    5) The fact that the governor of Port Harcourt keeps declaring and suspending the lockdown in his state.

    Take your time deciding what you’re want to do, Wike. Rona is definitely gonna wait for you.

    6) THIS DECISION!!!!!

    These niggas really made the decision to cut health funding IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC knowing that the isolation centres are running out of bed spaces.

    Media Tweets by Belen Abollado (@belen_abo) | Twitter

    Chile, let us pray.

    What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!

  • Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories

    It’s safe to say that Miss Rona‘s arrival threw the world headfirst into chaos. A lot of people currently existing have never lived through a pandemic, and the fact that new things keep being discovered about the virus every day has left people confused and scared as shit.

    Then there are the people who believe they have everything figured out. They have bogus theories about Rona V’s origin story and will tell anyone who will listen…usually on Facebook because the people on there find these garbage theories easy to believe for some reason.

    1) That the virus is being caused by 5G towers.

    Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories

    Just because the rollout of 5G was happening at the same time COVID-19 hit, conspiracy theorists insist that 5G towers and Lady Corona are connected. Which is insane because it’s biologically impossible for a virus to spread via the electromagnetic spectrum (the spectrum is made up of wave/protons while viruses are comprised of proteins and nucleic acids). That didn’t stop them from burning down 5G towers in the UK though.

    2) Bill Gates is responsible for everything. (The Gates of Hell)

    Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories

    Anti-Vaxxers saw a video of a 2015 Ted Talk given by Bill Gates where he spoke about the (then) Ebola outbreak and warned of a future pandemic. They took this to mean that Bill had foreknowledge of Mistress Orona’s world tour and declared that the whole thing was Bill’s evil plan to force vaccinations on everyone on the planet. When it became news that Bill is currently funding COVID-19 vaccine research, the theory evolved to include a plan to depopulate Africa and use the vaccine program to inject microchips into people that could be used to track and control them.

    Keep in mind that Daddy Bill has been involved in vaccine research funding for decades. If he wanted to serve Captain Planet villain realness, he would’ve done so a long time ago.

    3) That the virus was created by China as a biological weapon.

    Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories

    The first version of this one involved the virus being created in a lab by the Chinese and then somehow getting out, à la Resident Evil. That wasn’t juicy enough though so it evolved to include a subplot of China creating it as a bioweapon. Thanks to genetic sequencing, this has been debunked.

    4) That the virus isn’t real.

    Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories

    Some people believe the virus is a hoax and the governments of the world are using the fear to take away our freedom. This particular theory is so strong that it has inspired anti-lockdown protests in the US. At this rate, they’re all going to end up like the guy in the meme above.

    5) That the current infection/death numbers are inflated.

    Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories

    With the way this virus spreads, there is every chance that a ton of deaths have happened that the government doesn’t even know about. Don’t dull yourself.

    On today’s episode of Zikoko’s one-minute series, Isolation Diary, the host tackles conspiracy theories and has a message for the people who believe in them blindly. Check it out below:

    https://www.instagram.com/p/CAKoBaYlZGS/

    Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories

  • If you’ve ever taken an online course, then you know how hard it can be. And this is you as an adult who knows the importance of these things, let alone a child who just wants to watch Nickelodeon in peace.

    Curious about how learning has been outside a classroom, I asked Nigerian teachers how the experience has been.

    Kola – 28.

    “The major challenge has been the novelty of passing information via a screen. This is not even about using computers and all. It has been difficult to pass knowledge because this is a new technology for both the teachers and the students in these parts. Most times, we use some measure of fear to make the students sit still and focus, but that effect is not the same over a screen.”

    Alex, 26.

    “A major challenge is timing. The student that had the longest attention span was 1 hour. Over time, they got tired because they are also affected by what is happening. To them, the fact that they are not in the classroom gives them the idea that they are meant to be relaxed. Not having to dress up and get into traffic makes them feel like they are on holiday. So, if you tell them that they have to come online at this time, and they have to do that every day, what happens is that they lose interest.

    So, it’s not as effective as them showing up physically everyday. They don’t get the chance to be tired if it’s physically. They may be tired but they have to see it through.”

    Bode, 24.

    “I run a private tutorial center and it’s a bit more expensive to run an online class than offline. There are many factors. Firstly, we are making lesser money per hour online because of reduced hours. Students are only taking 30 mins to an hour lesson as compared to 2 – 3 hours of lessons.

    Secondly, parents are not ready to pay as much as before because they are cutting costs. So, lesser revenue and increased expenditure.

    Thirdly, internet and power are such a big issue that sometimes you wonder why you bother. It’s so easy to give up after the tenth “can you hear me?”

    Kehinde, 27.

    “I tutor IELTS and since the exam got suspended, students haven’t been coming. Many of them think the world is ending and IELTS won’t matter again. So, I haven’t had any students in a while. It has been a tough couple of months as this is my main hustle. I am just grateful that my wife has a job because it would have been terrible for us.”

    Biola, 27.

    “I run a tutorial center for WAEC and JAMB in Mushin. My business model is a large crowd paying small money so I can make a turnover. I optimize for one thousand students paying N1,000. But now that Government has said we should lockdown, I have been losing money everyday – No crowd.

    I thought of going online but the students can’t even afford data to watch the videos. I am confused about how to help them. At this point, it’s not even about the money, it’s about helping kids who are already at an obvious disadvantage. I feel sitting at home may widen that disadvantage compared to their richer counterparts who can afford online home tutorial.”

    Tosin, 23.

    “I am happy oh. Thank God for COVID so I don’t have to show up in any useless school. I don’t know why NYSC sends graduates to teach. I don’t think there’s any NYSC teacher that enjoys teaching. Let them lock us down till this foolish NYSC is over.”

    You should totally read this next: We Asked 5 Nigerian Students How They Dealt With Failing A Course.

  • “A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.

    Today’s subject is Imam Nojeem Jimoh. He tells us how he’s navigating Ramadan using technology in this special time.

    Zoom Ramadan Covid-19

    THURSDAY:

    I wake up by 4:15 am today. I pray two rakats and make dua until it’s time for fajr. In the past, I would have left the house ten minutes to the time for fajr to lead congregational prayers in the masjid, but that’s no longer possible. We are in special times. By Saturday, it will be one month since we last gathered for congregational prayers at the masjid. But we have no choice.

    Everyone has had to adapt to the new change. Even the madrasa. There are now online classes for the children. Their Arabic teacher recites and records the surah he wants the children to memorize and he sends it to them via Whatsapp. Then, they recite and record and send it back to him and he makes corrections. Arabic classes are now held over Zoom calls. One hour session where everyone recites along and tasks are monitored. It doesn’t replicate the madrasa perfectly but it at least ensures that time is not wasted during this period. You cannot escape Alfa because Alfa is online monitoring your task and progress.

    So, instead of going to the mosque to lead prayers, I lead my family in prayers. In the past, I would have had my bath and prepared for my 9-5 after fajr. I am not a full-time imam. I have a job that I report to during the week. My job is classified as essential services so that means I still have to go in during this period. However, I don’t have to go in as early as I used to. This means that I have some leeway to do one or two things.

    I am a morning person and I am not used to going back to sleep after waking up. So, I find a way to pass time before leaving for work. 

    FRIDAY:

    If ever we can say something good came out from this period, it is becoming internet savvy. Especially among my own congregation. I have encouraged everyone to actively download Zoom and the response has been encouraging. This is because it seems like this is going to be a Zoom Ramadan. Why I am grateful for Zoom is that it still gives people the communal feeling even though we are all apart. This is especially important because of people who are struggling with their iman during this period. We all struggle with iman normally and that’s why we all need to keep in touch with each other.

    Today, after work, I am going to address my congregation on Whatsapp concerning Ramadan. We have a general Whatsapp group where we send important messages. I have informed them that it’s going to be for 90 minutes, and I have asked for their cooperation. 

    My message to them is simple: this virus is real and deadly. We have been tasked by the Sharia to obey Allah and the people who have authority over us. The Sharia also tasks all Muslims with the preservation of life. The people in authority over us have enforced rules to ensure the preservation of life. Therefore, by obeying these rules, we are preserving life and following Sharia. It is important that regardless of how unusual things are, everyone follows instructions.

    Everyone should pray Taraweeh in their homes with their family. Islam is not stressing anyone.

    After the address, I look forward to enjoying a quiet Iftar with my family. Me, my wife, the children, feasting on a delicious meal of ogi and moi moi.

    SATURDAY:

    I wake up with a slight cough today. Normally, I would reach for water but I don’t, because I am fasting. It is one of those things. 

    Being an imam like any other thing comes with its own “challenges”. I have had a member of my congregation call me by 1 am to just “come to their house immediately” without telling me the nature of the emergency. Bearing in mind that I still had to go to work later that day, I had no choice but to rush down.

    Other times, I have had parents bring children to me suffering from depression and anxiety issues. It has been my job to walk the fine line between offering them spiritual comfort based on the Sunnah and also making sure that the child receives the appropriate modern medical treatment. That is, encouraging them to go see the appropriate specialist as the case may require.

    In some cases, it has also been myself. Contrary to popular belief, Imams too get low iman. The only advantage we have is the knowledge of the scripture with relevant examples of past prophets who have experienced something similar. Reading these stories and seeing similarities helps shake off the feeling and bounce back. Coupled with the fact that I have to constantly remind myself that leaders are meant to lead by example. These two factors help to always make sure that I am not down for too long. It’s also the same scripture by which I motivate myself that I use to help members of my congregation that come seeking help. It becomes easier to help them when you can relate.

    I am going to spend the rest of the day joining Zoom calls. I plan to listen to the lectures that I would have normally attended if I wasn’t staying at home.

    SUNDAY:

    In the masjid, we have an army of Alfas. During Ramadan when we have an increased number of prayers, we rotate who leads the prayers. So, someone leads Ishai, another person leads Taraweeh, another person leads shafi and witr. While another person recites a Juz of the Quran. This division of labour makes it easier for everybody.

    I am the only man in my house. It’s just me, my wife and two daughters. As an imam, even though we no longer gather, it is still my job to encourage members of my congregation over the phone to pray in their own homes. Also, because I am the only man in my house, I am quite literally the imam. So, it means that in addition to leading my congregation virtually, I also have to lead my home. I have found out in the last few days that being the one to lead all these prayers can be exhausting. 

    Today, after praying shafi and witr, I am quite exhausted. This is the first Ramadan I have had to do without being able to delegate. Even if it’s Ishai. Also, what makes it exhausting is that we try to recite half of a Juz at home. For one person leading all of this, it can be tiring. But may Allah make it easy. 

    My favourite meal — rice and stew — is what we have for iftar but it is a struggle to keep my eyes open. After the meal, I go to bed sufficiently exhausted.

    MONDAY:

    Today, I have had time to think over some things. It is now clearer to me why congregational prayers are important.

    As an imam, the last few days made me realise what energy comes from having a crowd praying behind you. The way I feel exhausted after praying taraweeh in the last few days made me realise this.

    I told my wife that in the masjid, I wouldn’t have felt exhausted so soon in Ramadan. It is clear to me that the crowd behind is part of the energizer that makes things easier. 

    When I am leading taraweeh and I know that there are 100 – 150 people behind me, the knowledge of that keeps pushing me. Also, there are people to rotate the responsibilities with. However, in this case, we are only four at home praying. I have found out that the energizer is missing and that’s why I feel tired easily.

    Zoom has been really helpful with keeping in touch and communal feeling, but you can’t pray via Zoom. I am looking forward to things going back to normal. I miss my congregation, I miss the energy they give me. That energy has never been more important than during this Ramadan.

    Glossary:

    Imam – The person who leads prayers in a mosque.

    Rakat – Single unit of Islamic prayer.

    Dua – Literally meaning invocation, is an act of supplication. The term is derived from an Arabic word meaning to ‘call out’ or to ‘summon’, and Muslims regard this as a profound act of worship.

    Fajr – The Fajr prayer is the first of the five daily prayers (salah) performed daily by practicing Muslims. 

    Masjid – Mosque.

    Madrasa – A school for Islamic instruction.

    Alfa – Islamic scholar.

    Iman – Faith.

    Sharia – Islamic canonical law based on the teachings of the Quran and the traditions of the Prophet (Hadith and Sunna), prescribing both religious and secular duties and sometimes retributive penalties for lawbreaking. 

    Taraweeh – Additional ritual prayers performed by Muslims at night after the Isha prayer during the holy month of Ramadan. It involves reading one Juz’ (Arabic: جُزْءْ, i.e a section of the Quran 1/30 its length, which generally takes somewhere between 20-60 minutes), and from 8 to 10 cycles of Raka’ah, lasting well over an hour in total.

    Iftar – The meal eaten by Muslims after sunset during Ramadan.

    Juz – A juzʼ is one of thirty parts of varying lengths into which the Quran is divided. It takes 30 – 60 minutes to finish reciting one.

    Ishai – This is the night-time daily prayer performed by practicing Muslims.

    Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life Of” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, don’t hesitate to reach out. Reach out to me: hassan@bigcabal.com if you want to be featured on this series.

  • What is a “Covid-19 Nigeria update“? We live in uncertain times and that can be scary. What if we promised you some form of certainty? Every day by 12 noon, we’ll bring you the latest updates on the fight against the Covid-19, both in Nigeria and Africa.

    Before we get into the Covid-19 Nigeria update for the day, here’s a rundown of all the important things President Buhari said in his address to Nigerians yesterday, April 13, 2020.

    You’ll recall that on March 29, about 14 days ago, President Buhari ordered a lockdown in Lagos, Ogun and the FCT. Well, the president addressed the country again and announced the extension of the lockdown in Lagos state, Ogun state and FCT by two more weeks. Other than that, here are the other things he said:

    • We need to make sacrifices to limit the spread of Covid-19
    • The level of compliance to the Covid-19 guidelines have been good across Nigeria.
    • In the first 14 days of the lockdown, the nation was able to implement comprehensive public health measures and intensified testing, identification and so much more.
    • Testing capacity is at 1,500 tests per day.
    • 7000 healthcare workers have been trained in infection prevention and control.
    • 1000 patients can be admitted in several treatment centers in Lagos and Abuja.
    • Now that land and airport borders have been closed, the number of rising cases are mostly person-to-person contact.
    • He has signed the Quarantine order.
    • The government has put on palliative measures such as food distribution and cash transfers.
    • Covid-19 is not a joke.

    You can find more details on his speech here:

    Now for the numbers:

    Covid-19 Nigeria Update from the past 24 hours:

    The numbers in Nigeria have been on a steady increase. As of March 17, 2020 – almost a month ago – there were only three cases but as of today, April 14, 2020, there are 343 confirmed cases. Thankfully, 91 people have been discharged. Unfortunately, there have been 10 deaths. In the last 24 hours, the NCDC reports that there are 20 new cases:

    • 13 in Lagos
    • 2 in Edo
    • 2 in Kano
    • 2 in Ogun
    • 1 in Ondo

    See their full report here.

    Covid-19 Nigeria Update

    NCDC also provided Covid-19 Nigeria update on the states where Covid-19 is present. Currently, it is present in 20 out of 36 states. Here’s a rundown of the numbers:

    Covid-19 Nigeria Update

    On a bigger African scale, how are we doing?

    According to new reports yesterday, April 13, 2020, Melinda Gates, wife of billionaire Bill Gates said that if the world does not act fast enough, then there will be dead bodies all over the streets of Africa. While she might have said this in good fate, it easily doesn’t come off as a statement made out of concern. Especially since the data confirms that Africa is fairing better than a few other continents.

    According to Coronafacts.africa, there are 15,413 cases in Africa. See below:

    Covid-19 Nigeria Update

    African leaders are doing their best to enforce social distancing, lockdowns and isolation in their countries.

    Today’s dilemma or palava (or whatever you choose to call it):

    Unrest in Lagos and Ogun state have increased in the past few days with armed robbers going from community to community, robbing houses, killing and raping people. If there’s any correlation to the lockdown, we can’t exactly pinpoint yet. However, it is happening and Nigerians are afraid that in addition to the fear of getting Covid-19, there’s the fear of being robbed. We do hope that the government addresses it and implements security measures to put it in control ASAP.

    Drinking Pepper Soup With Lime Or Lemon Will Flush Out The Virus: Myth or Fact?

    Definitely Myth. If you have a Nigerian parent, uncle or aunty, you may have come across this or a similar “cure” . While Pepper has anti-oxidants and lemon and lime contain high amounts of Vitamin – and all three are generally good for the body – there is NO EVIDENCE to support that they will flush out the virus in someone that has been infected.

    Today’s Pro tip:

    In the words of a wise man, “This is no joke”. Do not peddle wrong information and stay at home. It’s only for a short time. We will beat this.

    Stay updated:

    Head over to Zikoko’s brand new site www.coronafacts.africa for the latest and factual news on the efforts against Coronavirus.

    Meanwhile…

    Read how a Nigerian couple is coping with the lockdown after postponing their wedding due to Covid-19 and how one Nigerian nurse in the frontlines is brave enough to wake up every day, go to work and help fight this Covid-19.

    Remember, when you come back tomorrow by 12 pm, we’ll have a new Covid-19 Nigeria update with fresh insights and good news for you.

    Click here for happy thoughts.