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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    How long have you been with your partner?

    Temi and I dated for two years, and have been married for two. That’s four years.

    How did you meet?

    We met at her sister’s wedding in 2021. We were both part of the wedding party; she was one of the bride’s aso-ebi girls, and I was a groomsman. I found her really attractive, so I asked for her number during the reception. She gave it to me, but she didn’t remember who I was when I called the next day. She kept saying, “Sorry. From where?”

    My chest 

    I thought she did that deliberately to get me off the phone. But she eventually remembered and apologised, explaining how stressful the wedding was for her. I used the opportunity to convince her to go on a date with me to make up for forgetting me.

    We went to a restaurant, and I spent around ₦55k on the food and cab ride. We had a really good conversation, and sparks flew. A week later, we started dating. 

    How were your finances then?

    I was balling. I worked remotely at a fintech company, earning ₦450k/month. Things weren’t as expensive then as they are now. Even though I lived alone and paid my bills myself, my salary was more than enough for me. I could pay my ₦300k rent, sort out important bills, hang out with friends, and still save small money.

    Temi wasn’t doing badly either. She has always been a hustler, trying different businesses. When we started dating, she was selling wigs. I’m not sure how much she was making, but she was pretty independent. She lived alone and often got me gifts and paid for dates. She may have been richer than I was, actually. 

    Ahn ahn. Love it. How often did these gifts and dates happen?

    They were quite random. We often spent time at each other’s houses, so we ordered food to have indoor dates. Sometimes we did outdoor picnics, cinemas and restaurants. 

    The gifts were usually for birthdays and anniversaries. In the first year, we did a monthly anniversary thing, and we’d both get something small for each other: perfume, shoes, accessories, or handwritten cards. Gift-giving is our love language, so we ate each other’s money. I remember going broke in February 2022 when I proposed because I spent over half my salary to buy a ring and organise a surprise proposal.

    We calmed down a bit with the gifts in 2022 because of wedding planning. We sat down and said, “Guy, we need to save for wedding o.”

    Join 1,000+ Nigerians, finance experts and industry leaders at The Naira Life Conference by Zikoko for a day of real, raw conversations about money and financial freedom. Click here to buy a ticket and secure your spot at the money event of the year, where you’ll get the practical tools to 10x your income, network with the biggest players in your industry, and level up in your career and business.

    Did you both share wedding expenses?

    Yes, we did. However, our parents handled a significant chunk of the cost. They helped us with the venue, decoration, food, and souvenirs. We paid for our clothes, photography, videography, accessories, and other small things here and there. 

    Temi and I each saved money monthly (₦100k from me and ₦50k from her) for the whole of 2022, and that money was used to handle our part of the wedding expenses in 2023.

    I think the wedding planning period set the tone for how we’ve handled finances in our marriage. Before then, we didn’t really talk about money. We just spent money on each other. But wedding planning in our church means compulsory marriage counselling sessions, and we learnt to take a more active approach towards financial planning, among other things. We discussed expectations and who would handle what bill, which has worked for us since.

    Tell me about it

    We operate a “What you have is ours and vice versa” approach. We’re open with our finances and plan our lives around what we both bring to the table. 

    Let me break it down. I handle the bills: house rent, food, utilities, everything. If, while settling these bills, money finishes in my account, Temi steps in. Or if I’m not around and Temi has to recharge electricity or buy fuel, she does it and doesn’t need to ask me to pay her back because it’s still our money, just in different accounts. 

    Interesting 

    This approach has particularly helped us this year. I got laid off at work towards the end of 2024 and had to take a pay cut at my new job after I job-hunted without success for two months. We’ve had to scale down our living expenses a little, but it’s not too big a change because we’ve always done everything together. 

    The only downside is we can’t save as much anymore. Before, Temi could save as much as ₦200k from her monthly business profit average of ₦450k because my salary (which had grown to ₦600k) covered a good percentage of our expenses. Now she has to support more, so saving is more difficult. But we’re making it work. I’m still job-hunting, and I’m confident something will click soon.

    Rooting for you. Besides scaling down savings and expenses, how has the pay cut impacted your relationship?

    You know how I mentioned gift-giving is our love language? Well, I can’t do that as much anymore. When I had more money in my account, I could afford surprises. It’s now more difficult to do that because while I can ask my wife to send me money, it’ll ruin the surprise. She’ll surely ask what I want to get, and I have to talk. If I don’t tell her what I need it for, she’ll correctly guess that I want to buy something for her. So, yeah, poverty is affecting my intentionality. I don’t like that I can’t spoil my wife as often as I’d like.

    Also, we argue more about spending decisions now. We used to be spontaneous spenders, but Temi has assumed the manager role since my job situation started. She’s always trying to see how we can stretch what we have to last. I like that, but sometimes I just want us to go on dates or give our parents money. My madam will disagree and remind me that we have bills to pay. 

    Oh, and she’s pregnant, so saving for delivery and all the baby expenses is another headache. Temi has gone into full mummy planning mode, so she’s always ready to bite my head off if I make an unnecessary expense. Sometimes, I push back. Most of the time, I just let her have her way.

    You mentioned saving. What does your safety net look like?

    Our savings typically go to rent and major expenses, like buying our freezer and air conditioner last year. Currently, we have ₦1m saved for rent. Rent is ₦1.5m, and we’re due in August. Then there’s another ₦300k saved for baby expenses. We hope to triple that before the baby comes, just in case of unplanned expenses. We can’t do that with my current salary, so I’m job-hunting like crazy.

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    One where we’re financially comfortable with several means of passive income. I’m thinking in terms of real estate and businesses. My wife is an excellent entrepreneur, and it’s just a matter of time before we create something that will take us nationwide. I just need to make money so I can invest in her.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: The Teacher Navigating a Long-Distance Relationship With Her Baby Daddy

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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    How long have you been with your partner?

    Tabitha and I started dating in January, so that’s about six months. 

    How did you both meet?

    She’s a university student in my neighbourhood, so I’ve seen her around for a while. I finally got the courage to talk to her when she came to my POS stand to make a transfer. The person she sent the money to didn’t receive the alert, but the transaction was successful on my end. I convinced her to exchange numbers so she could reach me if the person didn’t see the money. 

    We actually didn’t need to exchange numbers. She would’ve seen me on her way to school the following day, but I insisted because I wanted to get close. After that day, I reached out on WhatsApp and we started talking regularly. 

    The talking stage lasted for two weeks. I officially asked Tabitha out on her birthday with a ₦3k teddy bear (she’d told me she liked them) and a handwritten card. 

    Romance!

    After she said yes, I took her to the cinema for a movie date, and we bought shawarma, popcorn and drinks. I spent close to ₦30k on that date, which was quite dumb on my part. That’s how much I make in a week.  But I was excited. She deserved it.

    Join 1,000+ Nigerians, finance experts and industry leaders at The Naira Life Conference by Zikoko for a day of real, raw conversations about money and financial freedom. Click here to buy a ticket and secure your spot at the money event of the year, where you’ll get the practical tools to 10x your income, network with the biggest players in your industry, and level up in your career and business.

    Speaking of money, what’s your and Tabitha’s financial situation like?

    I think we’re both doing as well as we can. Tabitha is in 300 level, but she does several things to make money. She sells perfume oils, female two-piece outfits and also cooks for money. Her parents and siblings occasionally send her urgent ₦5k or ₦10k, but she doesn’t rely on them alone. 

    I don’t know how much she makes exactly, but she pays her ₦80k rent herself. I also know she has savings because she has been trying to get me to be consistent with savings, too. 

    Saving is difficult for me because I live with my parents. My dad is sick, so he doesn’t work. Out of the ₦30k I make weekly, I have to drop ₦10k to support my mum, who doesn’t make much from her provisions store. Sometimes, extra expenses like my dad’s medicine also take out of my money. 

    So, it’s hard to keep money without touching it. Tabitha is always on my case about saving sha. She’ll say, “Aren’t you concerned about your future?”

    How do you respond when she says that?

    I can’t really say much because I know she’s right. I started this POS business in 2023 because I was tired of job hunting with my HND certificate, but I can’t do POS forever. 

    My business was one of the first things Tabitha asked me about when we started dating. She asked if I had future plans outside the POS work because she’d only date me if I had a plan to stop the work one day. So, I told her about my hopes of opening an outlet to sell male clothes and shoes to both online and walk-in customers. 

    We agreed I’d save ₦30k monthly so I can start the clothes business by the end of the year, but I haven’t saved anything. I saved ₦10k twice and withdrew it later. Tabitha is unhappy with that, and I’m trying to improve. 

    I plan to be more intentional starting this month. A few days ago, I made a kolo from a large tomato tin, and I’ll be dropping ₦1k there daily. 

    I hope that works out. Does your savings plan leave room to budget for dates and romance?

    We don’t really spend on dates like that. I’m usually at my POS stand every single day till evening, so there’s not much time to go out. 

    However, I always go to Tabitha’s hostel in the evenings to spend about an hour with her. Sometimes, she cooks for me. I sometimes buy shawarma or suya when I visit because she likes them. That usually costs me ₦3k.

    The last big relationship expense I made since our first date was in April. A dispatch rider ran away with ₦20k worth of Tabitha’s perfume oils, so I paid for the loss. She didn’t ask me to pay. I just saw how badly it affected her and paid because I didn’t want her to be unhappy. She thanked me for that money for three days. 

    That’s so sweet. What’s the most memorable gift Tabitha has given you?

    She gave me a new money pouch last month. It touched me because my old money pouch was tattered. I always postponed entering the market to buy a new one because I didn’t want to leave my stand. We didn’t even talk about it. She just came to my stand that day and handed me the pouch. I almost cried o. Big man like me.

    I’m screaming. Do you both have money conversations?

    We’re both open about how much we have, but it’s not because we ask each other; the information just flows. We can just be talking and I’ll say, “It’s only ₦5k I made today o,” or she can say, “My sister sent me ₦5k.”

    I think there’s still plenty of time for serious money conversations. I don’t need to know exactly how much she earns when it’s not like we want to get married tomorrow. 

    What do you think the future holds for you both?

    We still have a long way to go. I don’t think I’m ready to get married in the next five years. So, we’re just taking it a day at a time. I’d really love it if we manage to stay together. She once joked that I had to convert to her religion because that was the only way her father would approve of a future marriage. If it comes down to that, I don’t mind converting.

    What’s the ideal financial future for you as a couple?

    Japa. We both want to leave Nigeria one day.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: The Housewife With a Self-Imposed Two-Year Deadline to Start Making Money

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  • For many couples, sharing a bed is the ultimate symbol of intimacy and closeness in marriage. But let’s face it: reality often has other plans. Whether it’s snoring that rivals a generator set or midnight prayer sessions that make it hard to close your eyes, sleeping in the same room doesn’t always work out.

    We spoke to six married Nigerians who’ve ditched the tradition of shared beds for separate rooms, and they share what led to the change, how it’s affected their relationships, and why sleeping apart isn’t always as unconventional as it seems.

    Zainab*, 34

    When I first noticed my husband’s snoring, I thought it was hilarious. I even recorded him several times and teased him about how loud he was. But by the time I got pregnant, the snoring wasn’t funny anymore. I was struggling with back pain, nausea, and the general stress of pregnancy, and the lack of sleep made everything worse. I tried earplugs and even moved to the couch a few times, but it wasn’t sustainable.

    Eventually, we agreed I’d sleep in the guest room until the baby was born, and honestly, I haven’t moved back since. It’s affected our intimacy—we don’t cuddle at night or wake up together anymore—but my sleep is much better. My husband has been supportive, though. He’s working on making lifestyle changes to address his sleep apnea, so maybe one day, we’ll share a bed again.

    Seun*, 33

    My wife has always been a light sleeper, and I have the terrible habit of waking up in the middle of the night to raid the fridge or scroll through my phone. Sharing a bed meant she was constantly waking up whenever I got up, which led to many arguments. Even when I think I’ve been as quiet as humanly possible, she’d still stir in her sleep or hit the bed with her hands to caution me. 

    Eventually, we decided to try sleeping in separate rooms for a week, and it worked wonders. She sleeps better now, and I don’t feel like I’m walking on eggshells at night. It’s not a perfect solution because we’ve had to get creative to maintain intimacy, but it works for us.

     [ad]

    Amaka*, 29

    My husband is very prayerful, and while I admire his dedication, his midnight prayer sessions are exhausting. He wakes up at 3 a.m. to pray and is not exactly quiet about it. He mumbles, hums, and sometimes even sings softly, which makes it impossible for me to sleep.

    At first, I thought I could power through it or maybe adjust to his schedule, but it didn’t work. I started moving to the spare room on nights when I needed sleep, and eventually, I just stayed there. Sometimes, I think he’s intentionally doing it to guilt-trip me into joining him, but I don’t even feel bad anymore.

    That said, I do miss cuddling with him. Every now and then, I find myself back in bed with him because I miss the intimacy. But the second he starts praying at 3 a.m., I pack my pillow and go straight to the spare room.

    Adaora*, 31

    We didn’t start out sleeping in separate rooms. In fact, we were one of those couples who loved cuddling and falling asleep in each other’s arms. But whenever we had issues, we’d avoid each other by sleeping in different rooms. At first, it was just a way to cool off and avoid escalating the fight.

    Over time, though, it became a habit. Even after we resolved our issues, we’d just stay in our separate spaces because we’d gotten used to it. Now, it’s our default arrangement. We know it’s not ideal—it makes it harder to resolve issues since we’re not sharing a bed—but we don’t see another way. It feels like we’ve reached a point where we enjoy the solitude too much to change things.

    Kunle*, 35

    We live in a mini-flat, and when our first child was born two years ago, I had to vacate the room to give my wife space to manage the baby. I started sleeping on the couch in the living room, and while it was tough at first, I eventually got used to it. Now, the baby is older, but I still haven’t moved back into the room.

    At this point, I’ve come to enjoy the solitude. I get to watch TV late, stay up scrolling my phone without disturbing anyone, and just have my own space. We’re planning to move into a two-bedroom apartment soon, but I don’t think I’ll be sharing a room with my wife again.

    Aramide*, 29

    I’ve had insomnia for as long as I can remember. I toss and turn all night, and even the tiniest sound can keep me awake for hours. My husband, on the other hand, sleeps like a log. He falls asleep in minutes and can sleep through anything.

    At first, I tried to adjust to his schedule, but it just wasn’t working. He’d snore softly, and I’d stare at the ceiling for hours, too annoyed to fall asleep. I started sleeping in the guest room just to see if it would help, and it was a game changer. We still spend time together before bed, but when it’s time to sleep, I need my own space.

    READ THIS NEXT: Love Life: She Cheated But Is Still My One True Love

  • Say farewell to the streets

    You can’t have a soft relationship if you still have one leg in the streets. Hang your boots and say “Bye bye” to the streets because you’re boo’d up now.

    You have to talk to them every day

    Forget what people say online about not talking to their partners every day. If you’re reaching for relationship goals, you have to be sending life updates to your partner every hour. It’s not couple goals if you act like you can live without them.

    Learn their love languages

    Relationships are hardwork, and everyone wants to be loved differently. So you need to learn your partner’s love languages so your gestures aren’t entering one ear and leaving through the other.

    Put your relationship online

    How can we tag your relationship “couple goals” if we don’t even know about its existence? Put your relationship online so you can choke everyone with cuteness. As Kizz Daniel wisely said “Trouble their timelines, chop all their megabytes”.

    Take cute photos in matching outfits

    It’s not enough to put the relationship online. You must also wear matching outfits and take pictures in them so they can know that your relationship has its own uniform.

    Drop relationship nuggets for other people

    Have you really completed the couple goals story arc if you don’t start dishing out unsolicited advice to single people?

    Be ready to share almost everything

    You’re not ready for couple goals if you’re uncomfortable with the idea of sharing. You’ll share your space, your time, and you’ll msot definitely share your money with them. That’s why it makes sense to use Brassmoney to manage your finances in a relationship. 

    With Brassmoney, you and your partner can easily set up a joint (shared) account that you both have control over. What’s even better is that you can save, budget and track your finances easily. All you have to do is download the app from the App Store or Play Store and create an account to get started. You can also visit their website for more information.

    Even the single folks aren’t left out

    Even if you’re yet to get boo’d up, there’s still so much you can do with the Brassmoney app. You can save, track your finances, make budgets, and even buy airtime and data to hate on people in relationships on the internet. All you have to do is download the app from the App Store or Play Store and create an account to get started. When they ask who referred you, tell them it was Zikoko.

  • In mainstream media, when people talk about exes, they are usually referring to the worst one. In a bid to balance that, we asked 7 Nigerian women to tell us about their favourite ex.  

    Abigail, 34 

    Let’s call her M. She was everything I wanted in a partner — honest, loving, ambitious, beautiful and smart. We dated for over three years and it was the best time of my life. We loved each other deeply. We even had plans to leave Nigeria, get married and start a family. Our friends called us their couple goals. 

    But life happened. I lost my dad and I don’t do grief well. I shut down – mentally and emotionally. I started acting out and stopped communicating my needs to her. She tried her best to understand but I guess, at some point, it became too much for her to handle, so she broke up with me. She set the standard for everyone I dated after her. It’s been 11 years since then and no other woman has come close. Because of this, I stopped dating women and went back into the closet.

    Annabelle, 27 

    My relationship with my ex was amazing. This guy worshipped the ground I walked on. He always bought me gifts and cooked me food. He had my pictures around his house. I met his family and he met mine. One day we were arguing and he said, “It doesn’t matter anyway, I’m getting married next month.” 

    Rese, 18 

    The last relationship I was in was my first serious relationship. It was also my ex’s first so we didn’t have enough dating experience. Everything went well until the end. I feel like I’m the reason we broke up but maybe that’s just my need to blame myself for everything. We both sucked at communication. Initially, I would tell her the things she did that annoyed me but she would do it again within two days. Towards the end, instead of talking to her about it, I would hold it in my mind and resentment started to build. It wasn’t the best decision because I snapped. I told her she was useless and ended a call we were on. We didn’t speak for seven months after that.

    Nenye, 20 

    My ex was with someone else when we met. We were in the same university but I was a year ahead of her. Her boyfriend – at the time – had gone on IT for a semester so he wasn’t around when our thing started. We met through a mutual friend. We were always texting each other and spending time together. 

    One day, we were laying on my bed in school one night and she kissed me. I was shocked and when I asked her why she did it, she didn’t say anything. It didn’t matter because I was hooked. She kept telling me that she wasn’t like that and that she was dating someone else but I didn’t care — I just wanted to be with her. 

    The next semester her boyfriend returned and it was like I didn’t exist anymore. I kept buying her stuff and doing nice things for her to get her attention. We would go months without talking but whenever we got the chance to talk again, I would lose my sense of reasoning. This lasted for two years and then I left school. I think the main reason we lasted that long was because she was my first and I hadn’t fully come to terms with who I was at the time. She didn’t know what she wanted and eventually, I had to come to terms with that. 

    Emilia, 24

    It was a tumultuous relationship yet I didn’t see myself leaving. I tend to be closer to people I can learn from. To me, he was this person that had so much to teach me but that’s where the problem came from. I idolized him as a beacon of knowledge. Once you cross that line where you can’t differentiate between where their knowledge ends and where the gaslighting starts, it becomes difficult to see things for what they are. 

    It took me a long time to realize that this person whom I’ve surrendered myself to —  as a student and a lover —  was different from who I thought he was.  The gaslighting made me feel crazy. He made me feel like I was nothing without him so it was harder to leave than it was to stay. 

    He broke up with me after a while but I refused to let go. There were a lot of back and forth conversations before the end in 2018. Left to me, I’d still be in that relationship. Yet somehow, it has been my best so far because it opened my eyes to a lot of things I wouldn’t have known without him. 

    Olamide, 24

    Tunde* and I met on Obafemi Awolowo University campus. He was a foreign Master’s student from Liberia while I was a final year student. That period was the best time of my life. Sex with him was amazing. He introduced me to my body and taught me what sexual pleasure should feel like. He was good to me and particular about satisfying me. 

    He told me about his large family —  he has about 30 siblings. His father had many wives and he is the first child of his mother. His father is dead so his elder siblings controlled the family’s members activities. He always told me they might not like the idea of him marrying a foreigner, but he will try his best to convince them. I loved him and he was everything I wanted in a husband so I was quite hopeful. 

    After his Master’s programme, he went back home and discussed it with his family. They refused so we broke up. He got married a year later to a woman his family arranged for him. We still talk once in a while but I don’t initiate it because I respect his marriage. He also sends me money randomly. 

    R, 25

    I was in a non-exclusive relationship with this woman that lasted a year. It was absolutely beautiful. It was unique and it fulfilled me in many ways. Before her, I was used to being the sole giver in my relationships. I’d love you, cater for you, be your mum, your friend, your sister, everything and leave no room for you to be there for me but for the first time, someone wanted to give me love. One of her love languages was acts of service so she did a lot of things for me. 

    She understood mental health and made it easy to talk about the things that affected me. She was also kind to strangers. When I wanted to start a business and I was anxious about it, she got me some of the things I needed and constantly reminded me that I could do it.

    It ended because I wanted a more defined relationship and she wasn’t ready for it. We talked about it and decided that we had to break up. Even though there were no fights, it still hurt like a motherfucker and it took me the longest time to get over. Till now, I am not sure I am over her but I’m grateful for time and progress. She’s still a part of my support system. We’re even better friends now than we were in a relationship.

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  • This nice Twitter user, @Goldenpolaroid, blessed us with adorable pictures of his parents celebrating their anniversary.

    The absolute cuteness of these pictures are giving us serious marriage goals.

    After 21 years of marriage, it looks like this couple’s love is stronger than anything, *hope you’re taking notes?*.

    This couple wants us to go and marry sha.